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jonas issue 2
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-ƒƒƒ= jonas emag numero dos =ƒƒ--
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boogie shoes
p
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___ ___ _____ ___ ____ _ ___ ___ ____ ____ _ ___| |widonai
| | | - | | | | | | | _| | | | |odgpasi
| | |___| | | | _| | |wioinc!
|_|---|_|__|__|___|__|___| |_|---|_|____|__|___|______|\_
-/- jonas numero dos -\- \___ \__
\___ \
1 - welcome to jonas, biznatch. ) |
2 - edicius' editorial ( \
3 - staph and stuph \__ )
4 - how ˝ submit ˝ jonas \___ /
5 - what is jonas (edicius) ) |
6 - ivu w/ wiz of id by edicius / \_
7 - irc quotes! ( \
8 - top ten textfile groups \__ )
9 - quit dis issue of jonas \_____/
yay! the baseball strike is over!
y
o
u
r selection
. .. welcome to jonas, biznatch .. .
uh oh. numero dos of jonas is coming out. er, its out (if you're
reading this). i was shocked. i actually got a good response to the
first issue. since i had (and still don't) a clue on how to program
ansi graphics into the mag, i'm forced to use the basic colors that i
switch by hand. people like the idea of a ansi-clutterless mag..
amazing. just as i thought. i go on irc and within five minutes of me
first offering jonas numero uno, a good thirty people had dcc'd it from
me. it was great, and being 5k zipped, alot of them shelled down and
read it. hehe. i feel special.
this month, er, week, er, whatever. issue.. (like i said, there's no
regular release dates for jonas, so it could be a month, week,
whatever.) ur, this issue we have some more articles, mainly because i
wrote some of them prehand.. (right now, its sunday 4/3/95, i'm gonna
write some articles, and sometime this week, i'll have it coded). we
also have a kick ass interview with wizard of id of cia and ace.
woohoo, our first interview. i feel special.
its so fucking quick to do this. last night, i started at 8:00pm, i
worked till maybe 9ish, took alittle break. worked on it again from
10:30 to 11ish. and then from 11 to 1am i was talking with a friend
about sex and stuff (damn hoe, she said she doesn't get turned on by
seeing a guy naked, and this is the girl i asked out a couple of weeks
ago..). anyway. then again from 1 till 3:30 (which was actually 1 till
2:30, the clocks went ahead). so in all, it took me about 4 hours to
write up all the articles and then code it into asic. the code is soooo
fucking easy. thats why this magizine is so awesome :).
if you feel like doing ascii or ansi logos for us, feel free. i'd love
it :). also feel free to do anything you wish for aneurysm, jonas world
head quarters.
ta ta. enjoy this. comments are welcome, see the jonas.nfo that is
included in the zip archive.
- edicius [jonas phounder]
^^ o0o, i'm leet now.
. .. edicius' editorial .. .
hmm. lemme think, what the hell do i want to talk about today? i just
put out the primero issue about 12 hours ago. (wow, odd. i released it
about 3am or so, so, 14 hours ago. i went to sleep about 12 hours ago,
and woke up about 8 hours ago. wow. i need a life, badly.) since i
put it out so soon ago, hm, i don't know whats on my mind now.
lets see, how about this. since i released it, i've had a good amount
of comments on it. everything from 'wow man, your magizine is actually
good, i like the idea of an ansiless/clutterless mag'.. but i had one
person say, 'your mag was so gay, a mag isn't good unless it has an ansi
by me, like the xxxxx and xxxxx magizine had in their last three
issues'.
thats what ticked me off, not that i really care or not. the whole
purpose of this magizine was complete and utter shit. some people
aren't able to grasp the concept. sad, i do this mag to demonstrate how
strict the art scene is, and how alot of people take it seriously, and
obviously, i get people that just prove my point.
sigh, pretty funny actually. just proves my point. people take it too
seriously..
hmmm.. lets play alittle game called news reporter. beginning of the
month, and as always, new rumors and speculations are in the air..
1) emerge on the brink of collapse? well, after seeing their first
pack, it seems immenient, but rumors are that emerge has merged with
eden, yet, euphoria of emerge always said how 'merges suck, we would
rather die then merge'.. hmm.
2) also in emerge news, two good-decent artists have left to pursue
other groups. i for one, after talking to one of them on irc, do not
give emerge a chance much longer. they have seemed to have departed on
sour terms.
3) cia co-literature coordinator frost byte's mom died in a yachting
accident off the coast of florida?! is this true? as we said, this is
only rumors, this hasn't been confirmed yet.
4) superfly (cia vga) has left cia to join spastic vga! this is one
hundred per cent true. right blurr?! <snicker>
wow. alot of stuff going on eh? anyway, enjoy the mag. ta ta.
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founder
-!# edicius #!-
editor in chief
riter
official bitch
-!# pip the angry youth #!-
world head quarters
-!# aneurysm ˘ i.9o8.27o.8i98 #!-
eastern whorehouse
-!# shattered thoughts ˘ i.9o8.446.io94 #!-
spam information hotline
-#! i.5o7.4o7.58oi !#-
. .. how to submit something for jonas, by edicius .. .
i was thinking to myself. hey, people actually read the first issue. i
said it would be just be, but fuck it. if you want to submit, go ahead.
just type up something in ascii form, and send it to these places:
internet:
edi@raven.cybercom.com, or dcc it to 'edi' (i am on irc a decent
amount when i can).
bbs:
aneurysm, i.9o8.27o.8i98 (see the phunke lettering?), new user
password, vortex.
here's the catch, you wouldn't become a member (not that you'd want to)
unless i ask you. if you give me an article, and i decide to publish
it, you are a 'mountain dew'. which basicly means you are a
contributing member.
the only rules for submission, is there are none. anything is
acceptable. feel free to bitch and rant as much as you want, say
whatever you feel. cuss and curse and stuff your purse. ur, bosstones,
excuse me. anything is acceptable.
. .. what is jonas, by edicius .. .
what is jonas? the last few hours, since i released the first issue of
jonas, i've been asked, 'what is jonas'? jonas, in a brief phrase, is
complete, and utter, shit.
there is no theme to this. this isn't meant to review ansi, although i
might throw my own top ten lists or something in. reviewing ansi is
something already done, by undergrown and penguin and others. mine is
shit, complete shit.
like a local art group, trash. that was formed by pip the angry youth,
out of boredom himself awhile back. this is shit. just complete
lunacy, anything really goes. like trash says, 'we were formed to show
what a shithole 908 really was'. i would just like to show what a
shithole the art scene can be :> euphoria of emerge once said to me,
'people like you are what is ruining the art scene'. heh.
so, next time you think of jonas, think of shit. complete and utter
shit. anything really goes, i really don't care.
interview with wizard of id (ace/cia) 4/2/95
-> *wizofid* join and i'll interview you :)
*** WizOfId (Kevin@199.171.20.114) has joined channel #jonas
<WizOfId> wahoo
<WizOfId> Is this that eleeet b/w emag???
<edi> woohoo :).
<edi> yep, tis that ereet mag that no one can touch..
*WizOfId* i'm there dood...
<WizOfId> i'm ready..
<edi> ok, first, just basicly. name, age, and current affils and such..
<WizOfId> Name, last i checked, kevin .. around 17 i guess.. AFFiLS: Ace
Prez (dizzing group) uhh.. oh yeah, some little art group
called cia or something.
--- my server shit on me, and disconnected me from irc. i was forced to
drop carrier. doh. ---
*** edi (edi@raven.cybercom.com) has joined channel #jonas
*** Users on #jonas: edi @WizOfId
<edi> :)
<edi> urh, sorry about that :).
<WizOfId> i thought the iview would be short.. but that was kinda less
than i even expected...
<WizOfId> :)
<edi> where were we? oh yeah. you do great coding jobs, tell us about
it. what languages you program in, how long, etc..
<edi> ever program in asic? :)
<WizOfId> Hmm.. Can't say i've ever heard of asic, must be damn new.. ;)
.. i've heard of basic tho.. tried that years ago.. sucked..
stopped it real quick. Welp, as for current coding, thanks, i
try (that's all i can really say) .. it all started with
Electric Eel
<WizOfId> He gave me all my code and shit to begin.. and i'vebeen
programming in pascal ever since.
<edi> you program in pascal? no shit. wow. and no, asic isn't new. i
got it from a pd board about 6 months ago :). its older then
that, much..
<WizOfId> Pascal is just sooo easy once you get the hang of it.. any
moron (including me) can figger it out after you work with it
a bit. :)
<edi> urghunm. tell us about your scene history.. o
<edi> -o
<WizOfId> Scene history? hahaha.. Well.. lessee.. the first board i was
on.. .umm.. welp, lemme skip to like a year ago..
<WizOfId> i started up Ace .. arrogant couriers of essays and dizzed
like 500 essays or so uptodate.. so people can have cool shit
fer school:) ..
<edi> i know. ace has come in handy on 2 occasions :). thanks.
<WizOfId> then recently we moved into dizzing virii ... got like 3000 of
them all dizzed up so people can pick the perfect weapon
against someone ..
<edi> essay wise that is.
<WizOfId> heh.. yeah, our marijuana papers were helpful to TGardian as
well;)
<edi> hehehe.
<edi> hmmm. abouit cia, how long have you been in it?
<WizOfId> I've always liked tinkering with ob2 boards .. been modding
them fer about 2 years now and have figgered out all kinds of
shit first (i might add;) ) .. heh.. umm...
<edi> obv2? nah. renegade :).
<WizOfId> joined CiA in early january .. it was kinda a joke actually, i
told mr. wizard off mogel's land that i wish i was in a group
like cia .. (kinda sarcasticlally:)) ...
<WizOfId> and then he suggested i up some of my work.. .knowing my
friend Maximum overdose was in it.. i was familiar with it and
that kickass CipNet and so i got in.
<WizOfId> Obv/2 kicks renegade ass by far:) .. i could work circles
around that crap.. heh.. that's maybe for another article ..
ob2 vs renegade...
<edi> wow. i must say, for a joke, you've proved quite helpful :). you
are cia's busiest coder right now. :)
<WizOfId> yeah, that's kinda funny too.. considering i never really
think of myself as really working that much.. i spend like a
few days whenever i'm in the mood and things just seem to turn
up.. i dunno really.. but hell, i'll take the spotlight for a
bit:)
<edi> heh. alittle modesty never hurt :). hmm, do you do any other
forms of art besides coding?
<WizOfId> Art!? Haha.. art.. uhhh.. i like kinda suck at art. And i'm
getting a D in math right now, SO ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU
MUST BE A MATH GEEK .. yer wrong. :)
<WizOfId> (just a p'puter geek) :)
<edi> don't worry, i'm co-literature coordinator, and i failed
literature for one quarter this year :).
<edi> where are you from? (ac/state)
<WizOfId> hahaha.. that makes me feel better :)
<WizOfId> Oh yeah, i'm from 214 Dallas Texas.. kinda boring actually..
nothing to do here (cept ride a bronco or two, but even those
chicks get boring after awhile.)
<edi> dallas? i take it you're a fan of the cowboys then? :)
<WizOfId> chyea right.. :) actually, I just moved here in umm.. November
i think from 914 New York.. (which i hear isn't much better
than Dallas right now) ... so I'm STILL a fan of n'yawk
<edi> woohoo. jets or giants? :)
<WizOfId> Giants.. :)
<edi> ass. jets all the way :). 914. is that, hmm. thats southern
new york state right? (westchester/orange county) right?
<WizOfId> Welp, what else ya got for me?
<edi> well. since its getting late, and i know its getting boring, just
a few more quick fire questions for ya.
<edi> numero 1: ansi or vga
<WizOfId> Westchesta .. it's actually better than down here.. but the
people down here are nicer... so it's kinda a draw..
<edi> numero 2: spastic or cia
<WizOfId> ANSI.
<edi> numero 3: betty or wilma
<edi> numero 4: spit or swallow
<edi> :>
<WizOfId> SPASTiC .. <hehe... jking> CiA ALl the way Beoch
<WizOfId> betty
<WizOfId> Hahahah
<WizOfId> thwallow
<edi> :) any closing remarks before you are sentenced?
<WizOfId> ummm.. READ JONAS.. oh shit, they already are.. guess not then.
<edi> hehe :). okie, thanks for the vu. have fun and good luck with
every and anything :). thanks. it went well :)
<WizOfId> What is my sentence, judge ito?
<edi> 5 - 20 years, and your balls are cut off.
<edi> el fin
IRC log ended Sun Apr 2 04:30
<Chubber:#cia> DARK sucks?! No way..
*** Chubber has been kicked off channel #cia by blurr ( ok, you suck then. )
*** Chubber (Chubber@204.138.95.107) has joined channel #cia
<blurr:#cia> =]
<Chubber:#cia> Fine, I suck, but you blow. :)
*** Chubber has been kicked off channel #cia by blurr ( you gargle )
<Superfly:#cia> it's just a big @......
<`_:#cia> wow.. i'm fucking punctuation.
*** `_ is now known as blurr
<Superfly> blurr: op me now little man, or i tell tron about you
and his wife
*** Mode change '+o Superfly' on channel #cia by blurr
*** Mode change '-o Superfly' on channel #cia by blurr
<edi> super: shh, don't tell him about his wife and my kids tho.
<blurr:#cia> *** Yakob invites you to channel #cyberfuck
<WizOfId:#cia> blurr: you heading into Cyberfuck or what?
* blurr:#cia whips out the super-meanie-gun.
* blurr:#cia points it at chubber.
* Chubber:#cia screams!
*** Chubber has been kicked off channel #cia by blurr ( KaBLAMM0! )
<DimeBag:#ansi> anyone got that thedraw prog?
*** You are now talking to channel #ansi
<edi> thedraw? whats that?
<Posk> edi: ;)
<slave^tl> edi: thedraw.. you know.. the program that ripped off aciddraw..
<slave^tl> ;)
<edi> slave: oh, that thing you color those stupid little bnlocks in with?
<slave^tl> edi: ya, exactly!
. .. top ten text file groups or text file type groups ...
(all in the opinion of edicius)
10 - hootie
9 - pla (phone losers of america)
8 - untouchables
7 - poi (phreaks of the industry)
6 - btr (beyond the realm)
5 - tanj (there ain't no justice)
4 - hoe (hogs of entropy)
3 - gasp (going ape shit press)
2 - cdc (cult of the dead cow)
1 - phrack (they are still 'alive' right?)
. .. byebye .. .
i hope you enjoyed this issue, it came out semi good. i'm proud of the
work i did, 2 issues in one day. :). less then 20 hours apart. came
out pretty good. now, lets see if everyone else agrees :). send your
comments to me, please.. later..
koded by edicius, finished on 4/2/95, 10:49pm
greets and stuff are in the jonas.nfo file contained in the archive.
