Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
anti-press ezine 2002 04 04
<=============================>
< >
< ANTI-PRESS EZINE # 31 >
< >
<=============================>
"We're Positive About The Negative"
An April E-dition
(C) Copyright 2002 Anti-Press All Rights Reserved
NOTE TO NEW READERS: See the info section at the end of this file in case
you're wondering what the hell APE is all about.
=============================================================
* Author Turns Adversity Into Achievement *
A writer can be positive about the negative.
And if this ezine doesn't provide enough evidence, then speak to SF writer
Octavia Butler. She spoke recently at the college about her "Positive
Obsession". Butler detailed how a bad situation or event in her life was
mined into material for her science fiction.
Early in her writing career she attended the Clarion speculative fiction
workshop, finding herself in a town that had rarely seen a black person.
Besides feeling like an outsider, she had doubts about her talent; she felt
isolated, alone. Those negative feelings were channeled into the first short
story she sold.
Lousy jobs. She had her share of them. Not only did they give her
background material for her characters, they also motivated her to
concentrate on being published, an all-or-nothing goal. And her fears,
phobias. Creepy insects: centipedes, botflies. She found them repulsive but
used them to create an alien race.
Unfortunately we have never read any of her works. But from a writer's POV
we could appreciate her experiences in writing.
One bald-headed guy in the audience had read one of her short stories about a
human boy being used as a reproductive host, an alien impregnating his body
with its larva (a la botfly). "Lex Luthor" (to give this guy a handle)
challenged her on the theme of the story during the Q&A after the lecture.
He couldn't understand why she thought it was a "love story."
Did we mention that Butler counts many feminists as her fans? A few were in
the audience. Lex tried to engage the author in a polite debate but his
effort was short-lived. Butler diplomatically disagreed with his
interpretation. Lex pressed on with another statement, detailing what he
found in the story, changing the mood of the gathering. You could smell the
warlike estrogen in the air. The goddess had spoken; an unbeliever was
challenging her goddesshood. Hands were reaching for swords cast in
Amazonian steel.
Lex's statements were pushed aside as if unimportant; the Q&A moved along to
other subjects of a less-challenging nature. His seat went from hot to cool.
Lex had escaped unscathed -- i.e. uncastrated.
Gee, we're being negative again, aren't we?
But it works for us.
* Sidewalk Orphaned, Left Out In The Cold *
Shovel or suffer.
Don't shovel the sidewalk adjacent to your property and the City will fine
you.
Last winter the (news)Paper published an editorial saying that all citizens
should shovel their sidewalks. The Paper was once again preaching from its
Lectern of Highest Standards.
Then there was a snowstorm. Someone wrote to the Paper, wondering why the
sidewalk on the rear side of its building wasn't shoveled. The Paper never
replied to that letter; its silence implied that the Paper was responsible
for maintaining that sidewalk.
This year: another springtime snowstorm, typical for NENYland in the latter
part of March. (We do have summer around here; it falls on the 4th of July,
then autumn starts.) A concerned citizen notices that everyone clears their
sidewalks as good citizens should do -- except that one institution
apparently is a scofflaw, not shoveling the section behind its building.
Once again it appears the Paper is at fault.
But nothing is that simple in Plattsburgh.
The concerned citizen sent us copies of his email correspondence with the
City. In his email to the Mayor the citizen outlined his understanding of
the regulation pertaining to sidewalk shoveling: if a property owner didn't
clear the sidewalk adjacent to his land after 24 hours, that owner would be
fined. The time limit had passed and the sidewalk behind the Paper's offices
remained impassable.
The Mayor promptly replied, saying that he was sending the building inspector
to the Paper and that the sidewalk would be cleared or the Paper would be
fined.
But the Paper wasn't fined. The City cleared the sidewalk -- because it was
responsible for that stretch, according to an email from a City official. It
seems that after reconstruction of the street behind the Paper, the City
widened the parking area and so took over the right of way with the adjacent
sidewalk. According to the official, it was an "oversight" on behalf of the
City that caused the sidewalk to remain unshoveled.
So if a citizen commits an "oversight" -- especially a senior citizen with a
bad back and a weak heart -- they get fined. But if the City does it, well,
gee, they preach, they don't practice. Anyway, why does this section of
sidewalk get special treatment? Why does the City control the "right of way"
on this one stretch? Citizens pay taxes to maintain public property for the
common good.
Wait until next winter. Maybe someone will drop dead from a heart attack
while shoveling snow from a public sidewalk. Will the City discount any
responsibility, saying that it doesn't have the right of way over the
corpsicle?
So this time the Paper got off the hook -- at least in regards to shoveling
snow. But the Paper has to be held accountable for other problems -- unless
the City That Don't Werk is also responsible for proofreading that
typo-spotted rag.
* Hypocrisy In (news)Papering *
In one editorial the Paper lectured on the use of proper grammar in regards
to the words "fewer" and "lesser." It acted as if it won a great moral
victory when one supermarket corrected its express lane signs. ("15 or Fewer
Items," not "Less Items.")
We're the first to admit that our own grammar at times sucks and we even let
a few typos slip through. But we don't lecture our readers on proper
grammar. (Anyway, a recent edition of a leading dictionary says that the
distinction between "less" and "fewer" isn't that great anymore, that in
common usage the words now have a similar meaning.)
If you preach but don't practice, you're fair game to us.
Recently one of the anal-retentive columnists at the Paper, someone who tells
the rest of us how to mind our P's and Q's, wrote a column about a school
principal stepping down from her job. This column used the words
"adminsitrator" [sic] and "adminsitrators" [sic].
Pontificating from the Lectern of Highest Standards, it appears he was so
wrapped up in his own perfection that he forgot to run the spellcheck program
through his copy. There's no way "adminsitrator" would have passed
spellchecking.
But the Paper got rid of its proofreader years ago. Who needs a proofreader
when the new computer system can edit everything for you? Of course, this
assumes that you use the spellchecker. And even then typos can slip through:
the computer as yet hasn't replaced a human proofreader.
For example, a reader in his letter to the editor pointed out a couple of
interesting headlines that had appeared in the sports section. One headline
referred to "Pee Wrestling" at a local high school. A second headline
revealed that "Pubic Skating" was being sponsored by the college.
Any editor that allows such typos should be too ashamed to be seen in pubic.
* Menage A Trois For The Designated Driver? *
Our vision: a billboard burns down.
Back in the days when we worked in public relations and promotion, we
attended a media conference, checking out a workshop in billboard
advertising. We learned that simplicity and repetition were two keys
elements when utilizing such ads. Not only did you have to make your point
quickly, you also had to leave the ad up long enough for all passers-by to
get a few good looks at it.
Every day we pass by a billboard near the Precision Reality Center. Its ad
has been displayed for a long time. A huge photo, a young man sandwiched
between two girls a lounge booth. The guy is white, has blond hair,
All-American in the Aryan way. He's holding a small gift box, shaking it,
listening to see if he can figure out the contents inside.
At first you would think this was an Xmas ad that should've been taken down
months ago. But it's an all-occasion ad saying "Cheers to the Designated
Driver", brought to you by Budweiser, the King of A Controlled Substance
Called Beer. The two young ladies bracing the guy seem to be twins; they are
oriental, each one holding a bottle of Bud in her hand. An older passer-by
at first would think that the billboard image was taken in a downtown Saigon
bar during the Vietnam War, but that impression is dispelled by the modern
clothing and the bright lighting.
Yet the guy does have short hair and he's clean-shaven; he could be in the
military. Anyway, he's obviously the designated driver. He's not holding a
beer; he's checking out his gift box. In advertising what is implied is more
important that what is seen on the surface.
So think about it. The guy is the designated driver. The two chicks are
drinking to the point where they can't drive. And, by implication, to the
point where they can't control their inhibitions.
Are we reading too much into this ad? We doubt it. After all, most beer ads
are aimed at men: they appeal to male fantasies. And if a threesome with hot
oriental twins ain't a fantasy, we don't know what is.
After quickly seeing through the manipulation of this billboard ad, we are
bored. We hope one of those old TeeVee stereotypes, the deranged Vietnam
veteran, shows up tomorrow with a military surplus flame thrower and reduces
the billboard to ashes.
Then, the billboard will be replaced. And so we finally get what we really
want: a different ad with new sexy babes!
* Corner County Soft On Criminals? *
Last e-dition we detailed the case of a violent murder that occurred years
ago here in Corner County, the victim repeatedly struck by an ax. The killer
stated it was an accident, that his victim fell on the ax. He only got 4 to
7 in the slammer. Not bad for someone who whacked a woman again and again,
splattering blood all over and then ran away, leaving the dead woman's
helpless baby alone in a crib.
Recently another impressive sentence was handed down in county court.
Last summer. Two boys walk along a road. They don't suspect that they're in
danger. A woman at the wheel of a high-powered car, driving drunk. She
strikes one of the boys, seriously injuring him.
So how many years should she get in jail for this reckless act?
But wait. The woman does stop. Her boyfriend, following in his car, shows
up on the accident scene. The unharmed kid asks the woman for help. Both
her and her boyfriend refuse. They take off in their cars, leaving the
injured preteen boy to die.
Now how many years should she serve?
But wait. Later on she calls the police and tells them that her car has been
stolen. The police find the damaged car abandoned on another road. An
attempted cover-up.
That's worth at least a couple more years added to the total, right?
Obstruction of justice, whatever.
She's found guilty in court. Guess what her sentence is?
Six months.
Apparently one of the mitigating factors -- according to the judge -- was
that she only had an IQ of 73 at age fifteen. (But she was smart enough as
an adult to call the police and report her car stolen.)
Did the boy also fall on the car?
There is no justice; only a lousy legal system.
=============================================================
NOTICE: Unless indicated otherwise, all articles by Anti-Press. Articles
submitted by others do not necessarily express or reflect the opinions or
beliefs of Anti-Press.
WHERE WE'RE AT: Anti-Press Ezine radiates from our Precision Reality Center.
We're presently entrapped in the alleged city of Plattsburgh, northeastern
New York State (NENYland), USA. (For your own good: STAY THE FUG AWAY! A
drunk driver might run you over and only do six months for snuffing out your
life.)
EMAIL: Antipress1@aol.com . No payment for contributions. (We don't get
paid, so why should you?) **Maximum Length: 300 words.** Plain text format.
To avoid being deleted as junk mail: Put SUBMISSION in the subject heading
with the title of your contribution.
E-DITIONS ONLINE: Anti-Press Ezine and its sporadically published issues are
available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Copyright 1998-2002 Anti-Press
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe APE
TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe APE
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<< 4/4/02 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
