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Cosmic Debris 1995 11

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Cosmic Debris
 · 22 Aug 2019

  


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N O V E M B E R 1 9 9 5
=============================================================================

DJ Johnson.................Editor
Louise Johnson.............Assistant Editor
Jim Andrews................Web Site Editor
coLeSLaw...................Artist/Mad Scientist

- The Cosmik Writers -

Jim Andrews..................Urbania
Drew Feinberg................Drew's Views
Steven Leith.................Political & Between Zero & One
Steve Marshall...............Music & Record Reviews
The Platterpuss..............Record Reviews
The Old Man (Art Fridrich)...Old Man Radio Hour Interviews
Scott Wedel..................Music

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S

- - * - -


EDITOR'S NOTES - DJ says hi.

THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT (Part 2) - Even better than last month, because there
are new participants joining the original gang. Bob Dalley (Surf
Raiders), Rick Escobar (The Woodies), and Phil Dirt (legendary Bay Area
DJ) join in.

LABELLED: Upstart Records - An interview with Glenn Dicker. Find out how
he and his partners managed to land such an amazing lineup of bands
so early in the labels existence.

MOBILE FIDELITY - Steve Marshall examines Mobile Fidelity's newest batch of
releases.

THE BEST CHANNEL ON TELEVISION - The fact is that you should tune in
C-SPAN, yank off the knob and throw it away. Sound boring? Maybe,
but there is something important you need to know, and you'll find
it there.

RECORD REVIEWS - G.T. Stringer and a heapin' helpin' of reviews by
Platterpuss, Steve Marshall and DJ Johnson.

THE OLD MAN RADIO HOUR INTERVIEWS: THE VANDALS - The old man met with The
Vandals at an appropriate spot for an interview - on a vollyball court
next to a major airport. This may be a first!

DREW'S VIEWS - Commercials can educate, entertain, disgust or offend. And
sometimes, they can cause psychic trauma.

BETWEEN ZERO AND ONE - Now that your brain has shrunken down to what it is,
and you're accepted by your society, can you bypass the boundries and
learn to think again?

SHARP POINTED STICK - How many Bobbit's does it take to change a penis?
And at least one thing NOT to do with a blowtorch. Seems kind of
appropriate to have these two items in the same column, doncha think?

THE DEBRIS FIELD - Another batch of random stuff for your entertainment.

HOW TO CONTACT US - What it says...

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EDITOR'S NOTES
By DJ Johnson

Hello again, Cosmik folk! Welcome to issue # 6. Half a year we've
been doing this now, and y'know, sometimes it seems more like a decade.
In fact, I'm not sure I remember what life was like before I started to
put this zine together for the first time. No matter. I'll bet it was
kinda boring, whatever it was. This is a fun job, because I get to hang
out (if only electronically) with a lot of people I admire and respect.
In the case of THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT, I got to spend the better part of
two months mediating a floating interview with 10 to 14 incredible instro
musicians (the number of participants fluctuated). That was a kick.
This month, we run the 2nd half of that interview. Last month, I reported
that we would be joined by Coco, of Man Or Astro-Man, for part two. Well,
sorry y'all, but Coco had to back out due to the fact that they are in the
studio making a new record. We'll try to get him to sit still for a full
length interview soon, though, I promise. We did carry on without him,
and I'm sure you'll enjoy the results.
One quick thing to discuss... Issue #1 (June 95) of Cosmik Debris
(then with the spelling "cosmic") was 66k in its ascii format. Issue #2
was 120k. I remember telling the other Cosmik writers "Jeez, I hope people
don't think this is too big to read!" Last month (issue #5) we hit 200k
right on the button. This month, we're right around the same neighborhood.
Next month...who knows? If any of you ascii subscribers are having problems
with the file being too large for email delivery, please let me know by
sending mail to moonbaby@serv.net. Only one person has complained so far,
but I'm wondering if others are getting the text in 30k chunks. We might
be able to get around that by using attached uuencoded mail. Don't be shy.
Let me know. That's about it, so enjoy the November issue, and feel free
to write to that same address with any comments, complaints, ideas or
questions. I love getting feedback.
An additional note to pass along: the popular column "Urbania" will
not be found in these pages this month because columnist Jim Andrews has
been abducted by what is rumored to be a gang of rogue right wing
republicans, who are demanding that Mr. Andrews "quit busting our chops!"
We're negotiating for his release at this point in time, and hope to have
Urbania...and Jimbo...back by Christmas.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE GREAT SURF SUMMIT (Part 2)
Interview by DJ Johnson

Most of you were with us last month when we began this crazy interview
with ten of today's best surf musicians. Since we last spoke, we were
joined by a few more people. Bob Dalley, of The Surf Raiders, is one of
the pioneers of the late 70's surf revival. Rick Escobar and his band,
The Woodies, put out some of the most authentic rocking surf instros you'll
ever hear. And Phil Dirt is a legendary DJ in the bay area of California
who's been playing and producing surf records all along. They join David
Arnson (Insect Surfers), John Blair (Jon and The Nightriders), Todd Damnit
(Thee Phantom 5ive), Ferenc Dobronyi (Pollo Del Mar), Joe Emery (Death
Valley), Rick Johnson (The Halibuts), Mel Waldorf (The Mel-Tones), Allen
Whitman (The Mermen), Pepper Wilson (Death Valley) and Bernard Yin (Brazil
2001). Last month, we reported that Coco, The Electronic Monkey Wizard, of
Man Or Astro-Man?, was going to join the group as well, but due to the fact
that the guys needed him to get his low end into the studio for some
sessions with Steve Albini, he had to back out. Maybe next time.
We knew by mid September that we we're going to have to make this a
two parter. On October 23rd, we finally and reluctantly wrapped it up.
Here is the official minutes of the final meeting of what Phil Dirt dubbed
"The Therapy Group."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

COSMIK DEBRIS: Before we get started, I just want to welcome the newcomers
to this interview. Three heavyweights of surf, at that. Bob Dalley,
of The Surf Raiders, Rick Escobar, of The Woodies, and the greatest surf
disc jockey of all time, Phil Dirt of KFJC radio in the bay area.
Welcome aboard, guys.

JOHN BLAIR: Yea, ditto for me. Bob and I first met in 1979 shortly before
Jon & The Nightriders and The Surf Raiders formed. He brought his
guitar and amp out to my home and we jammed on tunes for a couple of
hours at a time when neither one of us could easily find other musicians
who shared our interest in the music. Hi to Rick. We haven't met, but
I've enjoyed the Woodies' tracks on Phil's "Summer Surf" CD. And
Phil...well, Phil has become an institution on the Left Coast. It's
only too damn bad that he doesn't have the same technology Wolfman Jack
had in the 60's. If that were the case, he'd have been exposed to half
of North America by now and, I suspect, may very well have been the
progenitor of a new radio format ("All Surf All The Time"). It's nice
to have all three at this "virtual" round table.

COSMIK DEBRIS: I'd like to kick off this segment by asking you all this
question: who else out there is doing good stuff for surf? Not the
musicians, but the promotion people, DJ's, club owners, labels, and
such.

JOHN BLAIR: I have several quick responses to this question. First of
all, the advertising agencies that use the music as beds for their
radio and TV commercials continue to keep surf in the face of the
public at large. There have been several cases where I've remembered
the great music used in a commercial but couldn't, for the life of me,
recall the product that had been advertised!! Bad news for the ad
agency...good news for the staying power and vitality of surf music.
Second, with "Pulp Fiction" Quentin Tarantino gave surf music the best
shot in the arm for widespread exposure of "the sound" that's happened
in 20 years. It's interesting (and maybe ironic) that the film had
absolutely nothing to do with surfing, the beach, or the "California
lifestyle." Third, certain record labels are releasing a helluva lot
of surf music these days and should be recognized for their contribution
to the revival of the form: Chris Ashford's Iloki label and Lee Joseph's
Dionysus label in SoCal, Dave Crider's Estrus label in the Pacific
Northwest, Herbert Hooke's NPR label in Germany, Bob Irwin's Sundazed
label in New York (king of the surf music reissues), and several others
whose names don't readily come to mind but are equally as important.
I believe that these labels play a similar role in the surf music
revival today as the roles that labels such as Dangerhouse in Los
Angeles or Stiff in England played in the punk music movement of the
late 70s and early 80s. And finally, Les Parry's local SoCal surf
music radio show has also been helpful to the current revival. His
show only suffers from a poor time slot: the crack of dawn on Saturday
mornings. Except for that, he and Phil Dirt (with a time slot of early
Saturday evenings) are doing great jobs at making the sound available
to anyone with a radio in transmitter range. We need to get these guys
uplinked!!

BERNARD YIN: I must add Jim Dunfrund's Surfwave on KXLU Thurs 11pm as being
a strong help.

BOB DALLEY: Heavyweight?, I guess you have seen a recent photo of me!
Thanks for the nice intro. I am honored to be included with so many
knowledgeable people connected with surf music. As you know it is my
life and I like to be included in anything to do with surf music.
Let's get going and get the job done. In response to the first
question there are a few people I'd like to mention as being helpful
with the promotion of surf music. Paul Cook Of Pierfest Huntington
Beach, CA., has been of great help by having the Surf Battle of the
Bands which featured the return of many surf bands, The Tornadoes, The
Lively Ones, The Centurions, the Revels and featured surf bands such as
the Surfaris, Dick Dale, The Chantays and Jan & Dean. AVI Records and
Ron Santos is on the bandwagon to bring to the silver disc, rare and
unreleased surf. Coming soon is the Johnny Barakat & Johnny Forturne
double CD. Also an authorized Avenger VI CD with bonus tracks. He has
already put together some great packages for Del-Fi and is now doing it
for his own label. Sundazed Records. What more can we all say to
Sundazed and Bob Irwin. Thank you, thank you, thank you! Lee Joseph
and Dionysus Records has put out a lot of important material lately,
The Boss Martians, The Finks, The Esquires, The Cave Four and more.
I also think we should thank all the indie labels who have put out
CD's on surf bands and believe me they are almost too many to name.
Del-Fi Records is finally getting the hang of it and is putting out
some quality stuff. I think they will be successful with the release
of Pulp Surfin' II with more new bands. Zines and newsletters like
Livewire, Canada, California Music, Australia, Pipeline and New Gandy
Dancer from England have also contributed greatly in keeping surf
music alive over the the years. I am hoping for the same results
with Surf Music USA. Goldmine and Discovery magazine should be
applauded for printing articles on surf bands by myself and Jon Blair.
The owners of the Lighthouse Cafe in Hermosa Beach should also be
applauded. There have been many shows in 1995 that have featured surf
bands including the Surfaris, Thom Starr & The Galaxies, The Packards,
the Halibuts (with John Blair), the Lively Ones and more. Surf Dj's
Phil Dirt KFJC, Les Perry's Surf Patrol on KMAX 107.1 FM L.A.
Jim Dunfrund's Surf Wave on KXLU. These three guys have done more for
surf music than just about any other. I sure we can get Jim Petwer in
there too. There are a lot of new DJ's popping up and I hope they
will stick with it. I am sure there is more but that is my two cents
worth.

RICK JOHNSON: Here in LA, Jim Dunfrund (KXLU). He's had a surf radio show
since the late 70's, way before surf music was cool. His "Surf Day in
May" live shows are legendary in the south bay. He introduced us to
Chris Ashford who put out the first two Halibut albums and What Surf
comps. His show is still going strong after nearly 20 years. Next,
John Stafford, who owned (until last April) the Toes Tavern chain. Surf
music was always welcome and encouraged at all 5 Toes Taverns. We miss
John. And even though you said not the musicians, I think I need to
mention Dave Arnson (Insect Surfers). Dave is ALWAYS writing and
promoting surf music and sets up some of the best surf shows to be had
here in LA. Dave supports every surf band here (and is a wild man on
the dance floor when there's a surf band on stage).

ALLEN WHITMAN: Now this is a good point. I've seen Dave Arnson all over
the place. Another person is Matt Kora. The mysterious Mr Kora has
flown all over the country to tape surf shows (for his enjoyment only)
by lots of bands. Ask around, I'm sure someone you know in the
community has heard of him. The Mermen have run into a lot of people
in the biz who love the music. Some of the people say I love surf
music because it's cool now. Others genuinely enjoy the genre and tell
stories about artists in the past or about their record collections.
We get A LOT of support for what we are doing within the industry.

JOHN BLAIR: Oops. I mentioned Phil and Les before, but completely forgot
about Jim Dunfrund. Sorry, Jim. Your contribution to the scene is
certainly important enough to make this a triumvirate instead of a duet.
Jim Pewter also deserves credit for supporting the scene in several
ways. Although a radio announcer, he's on Armed Forces Radio and
doesn't strictly play surf music as the other three do. He does pop
up at many of the special surf music shows in SoCal, was responsible
for the big surf music revival show at the Hollywood Palladium in the
mid-70s, and just launched his own record company (Playground) with the
release of "Pulp Rock," a new compilation of surf and rock instros (old
and new - it's an ecclectic collection!)

PHIL DIRT: There are lots of labels issuing material some of you mentioned
already. There's also some interest being expressed at Billboard (2
articles in the last year), and college radio everywhere seems to be
including surf in regular rotation, though only a few of us do slabs of
the real stuff (no vocals). I am aware of a couple of other DJ's doing
significant things, like Bob Hume at RTR FM 92.1 FM Tuesday nights from
7.30 to 9.00 PM in Southern Australia. (Bob Hume, PO Box 7387,
Cloister's Sq WA, AUSTRALIA 6850 or rhope_hu@scorpion.cowan.edu.au),
as well as the other already mentioned dj's, plus Todd's gig (Ed: Todd
Damnit of Thee Phantom 5ive, who is also a DJ in Nashville). The club
scene has been very helpful too. There were 2 San Jose club (Muzzies &
Laundry Works) both now gone that supported regular surf nites through
a significant part of the 80's. San Francisco clubs like the Bottom of
the Hill, Purple Onion, Paradise Lounge, and Slim's have been helpful
too. I've presented several daytime showcase/benefits at Foothill,
that have been recorded, one released (Summer Surf) that filled a really
nice theater room with a broad spectrum audience, most of whom don't go
to clubs (kids, middle aged professionals, etc... On the web, (not to
toot my horn, but) my page (www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/) gets about 400
downloads a week from all over the world, generates lots of e-mail, and
generally reaches far & wide. I'm working on CD quality live music for
it, and some sort of real radio version of my show. Ferenc is right,
the web is BIG. The Mermen get tons of action too, as I'm sure Allen
will spout about. Print is slow to come (except for the great fanzines
Livewire, Pipeline, New Gandy Dancer, California Music, etc.). They
seem to think it's an oldies revival...a curiosity...always the last to
know. Another radio dude supporting the reverb is The Beast of "The
Beast & Baker Show, airing Saturday nights at midnight on WAXY 790am
in Miami (beast@icanect.net & www.icanect.net/beast). Like most, they
are mixing surf into the batch, and are an island of wet sound in a dry
state (band wise). It's fairly new, but is very interested in getting
a scene going.

FERENC DOBRONYI: The resource that has helped Pollo Del Mar the most is
definitely the Internet. (This is not to sleight the many people who
have helped us, but I had first contact with them all through the net!!)
I have found so many resources - Web sites, magazines, DJ's, and people.
The online surf community is friendly and always willing to share a tip
about where a new band can send out for reviews, airplay, clubs and
record company contacts. They are all out there and available if you
look for them.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Once again, Ferenc, we agree. The web has been a resource
of incalculable value.

PEPPER WILSON: The first few responses really support our previous
conclusions that the surf/instro scene in Austin and maybe even
everywhere east of Cali/Seattle, is puny in comparison. There is
not one regular surf radio show in Austin. KVRX, the University
of Texas student radio, and KTRU, the Rice University student radio,
in Houston, have been supporters of surf music in general and Death
Valley, specifically, by playing the stuff and doing a live interview
for us. Debbie Rombacher, of Austin's Hole-in-the-Wall, and Glenbo,
of Houston's Rudyard's have always supported the scene and Death
Valley by offering us weekend headlining shows. These folks have
really helped us this way, and also helped the scene by bringing
in other surf bands such as The Spoilers, and The SwankTones to play
with us. Furthermore, Debbie has often hosted the surf show at the
South by SouthWest music convention here in Austin with appearances
by Insect Surfers, Huevos Rancheros, Laika and the Cosmonauts, Teisco
Del Rey, and others. Tim Kerr, legendary Austin guitarist (Big Boys,
Bad Mutha Goose, The Monkeywrench, Jack O' Fire, and most recently,
Lord High Fixers) is due lots of credit for taking many local bands
into the studio including Death Valley and The Spoilers. Our
association with him has been essential in opening up doors not
traditionally open to surf. His efforts have led to a Death Valley
song appearing on a soon to be released Texas comp on the Australian
A Go-Go records.

JOE EMERY: First credit goes to Teisco Del Rey, for the reason that I
would never have heard instro music if it weren't for him. Secondly,
I have to second Pepper's mention of Tim Kerr. While Tim's tastes
in playing and production run the gamut of musical styles (he was in
the legendary hardcore band the Big Boys, blues hangover band Poison
13, funksters Bad Mutha Goose and several others), his attitude toward
Rock, Punk, etc. scenes is completely selfless. He devotes virtually
all of his time to helping out budding bands for little or no money.
He has put up just about every band that has come through town (Man or
Astroman, Mudhoney, Gas Huffer, heck even Bad Brains and Minor Threat)
when they needed it. He is one of the nicest guys anywhere, and THE
most important person in the Austin music scene in the last 20 years
(forget what you've heard about Stevie Ray Vaughan).

TODD DAMNIT: Who else is helpful to the lowly surf rocker? Without a doubt,
the various zines and assorted publications that are sympathetic to the
instro sound have been the kindest to Thee Phantomb 5ive. The published
review has been the key to our receiving any exposure and has enabled us
to hook up with some hilariously rabid fans of surf music. We even
hooked up with a cat in Scotland that got our record played on Scotland's
national radio station....this thru a review in maximum rock and roll.
Locally (Nashville), Vanderbilt's WRVU plays our records embarrassingly
often. Hell, our first single was a staple on their local top five show
for 9 months! This leads me to believe that if ya can find the college
stations that are hip to instros, you can get some solid exposure. Also,
I have been doing a weekly surf radio show on WRVU for the last two
years and feel like I have kept Nashville abreast, surf-wise, to some
extent. I even get requests, every week, for many of y'all's combos!!
Actually, the biggest thanks have to go to the combos themselves. I
mean, the enormous chunks of time we have all spent toiling, loading,
thinking about, wasting, rockin' with our bands is amazing! You all
have yourselves to thank foremost for eeking out a scene in a land awash
with worthless muzak.

DAVID ARNSON: David Arnson: Jim Dunfrund's "Surf Wave" show on KXLU, Los
Angeles (Thursdays, 11pm) has been on the air for over 15 years. It
has been one of L.A.'s driving forces in the surf scene. Chris Ashford
of Iloki Records (and currently his "Ruckas Records" store) has put out
some great surf records by The Halibuts, Davie Allan, and compilations.
He's a frequent guest on Surf Wave, too! Mike Palm from Agent Orange,
besides playing surf instros in their sets, often has surf bands open
up for their shows. Flipside Magazine (available nationally, but
primarily an L.A. music zine) frequently reviews surf releases and
bands. Lee Joseph of Dionysus Records has put out surf vinyl - more
than cd's (Boardwalkers, Bomboras, Finks, Boss Martians, Insect Surfers,
Surf Raiders, etc.). Most L.A. clubs and bookers are still not overly
supportive of instro music. Toes Tavern at one time supported surf
bands a lot, but has fallen off a lot. Local booker Johnny Vargas is
probably the easiest to deal with for Hollywood and downtown shows.
L.A. dj Les Perry on KWIZ FM has a (gulp!) 5 am to 7 am Saturday
morning all surf show and he's put on some good show to benefit his
show and The Surfrider Foundation. He got the Lively Ones to play
together again. Phil Dirt at KFJC has helped the instro scene blossom
in the San Francisco area (and the world!) And (former Surf Raider)
Bob Dalley is ensconced in Utah putting out surf books and a great
current newsletter (Cowabunga subscribers have probably seen this
promoted). John Blair's Surf Discography book is an invaluable resource.
Additionally, Cowabunga@ucsd.edu is a great cybersurf gathering place.
Surf zines include Canada's "Livewire," England's "New Gandy Dancer,"
"Pipeline," and "Outlet." Australia has "California Music." There's
more, but those are the main ones. All major music publications have
pretty much ignored the current instro scene so far, with the exception
of two articles in Billboard in as many years. Estrus Records has
probably put out more surf instro than any other current indie label
but they understandably focus mainly on one style of surf. Upstart
Records, who distributes mainly through the folky Rounder label, has
released cd's by Los Straightjackets, Halibuts and their "Beyond the
Beach" compilation. Hey, I reckon we can thank Quentin Tarantino for
assembling the "Pulp Fiction" soundtrack. It's very possibly a one-shot
effort on his part, but boy did that cd get the ball rolling on surf
instro awareness! New Jersey's Skyclad records put out our cd "Reverb
Sun" in 1991 but never paid us a cent (in fact they owe us quite a bit
of money). They went out of business three years ago. Oddly enough,
despite have cuts on about six surf compilations, labels have passed on
releasing our latest 14-song tape. Ignoring the idea that maybe we just
suck, we're working now on issuing a cd ourselves. This has worked for
the Halibuts, Aqua Velvets and Mermen in getting label attention.

COSMIK DEBRIS: That IS odd. The recent instro compilation CD, "Instro
Nation," on Orange Records, has songs by your band (Insect Surfers),
Death Valley, Pollo Del Mar, The Mermen, Davie Allan, Galaxy Trio,
Satan's Pilgrims...a bunch of bands that are all more than deserving of
major label attention. And you'd think there would be a rush of
signings because of current popularity, like it was in Seattle during the
"grunge" era. What road blocks are you all finding? I'd also be
interested to know what Phil thinks of this.

PHIL DIRT: I've heard from endless people well placed to know such things
that successful labels look for acts with 1) a buzz - something about
interest from more than the band's friends, 2) prior self-funded
releases - says they are committed to their sound, not relying on
someone else to take the risks, 3) have learned how to record on their
dime. As to whether you guys suck....I think not. As to a signing
frenzy...watch your step, I suspect that the majors are watching
Mesa/Atlantic. If it works for them in the next 6 months or so, any
urchin that can hold a guitar and not sing living in SF will be signed,
followed by the rest of the pack. As for a comp like Instro Nation,
which is not actually stocked by most Towers and probably won't be
available elsewhere, I think it will be a good promo tool for you to
give to people, but not to create a buzz with. It is also an adder for
those already committed to their own future with their own money in CD
pressing...notice I didn't mention vinyl. Label schmucks I've heard
from say "vinyl doesn't count. Who cares! Too small a specialty
market"...go to any really good indie store and watch the 100 to 1 CD
to vinyl ratio among customers...it's cute, just not effective.

JOHN BLAIR: I don't know about all the others here, but this subject sort
of fires me up. I could go on and on about the musical validity of surf
music, its place in popular culture, and the complete lack of attention
it gets from major labels. The marketing of surf music always has been,
and will (I believe) continue to be in the domain of the independent
record companies. Even in the 60s, there were only a handful of majors
(Capitol, Liberty, and Dot being the top three probably) who released
surf music -- and then most of the artists already had independent label
releases anyway and were experiencing strong popularity on local levels
(more than most contemporary surf bands I would think). The subject of
"road blocks," though, isn't really about the major labels (they come to
you; you don't go to them). It's about the difficulty in getting your
band's music released by a record company in general. It's absurd that
Dave's band has been turned down by several labels, but his experience
isn't unique, and I'm sure he's not alone. This is the big road block:
getting a record company to release your material -- not just any record
company, but one that will, hopefully, provide you with an advance, an
appropriate share of profits, and a promise to promote. When you've
done the best you can and you can't interest anyone, the do-it-yourself
(DIY) approach may be the only reasonable alternative, as Dave suggests
may happen with the Insect Surfers. This, however, provides the second
biggest road block a band could face: getting your music distributed.
I could go on and on, but I think those are the two big obstacles for a
band to overcome: finding an interested record company and distribution
if you try to DIY. In my own case, I was fortunate that Herbert Hooke
in Germany agreed to release the Jon & The Nightriders' anthology CD
last year on his NPR label. Several domestic labels declined the
record. One other European label expressed an interest, but their
contract terms weren't as good as NPR's. It was good to have the
product released and wonderful to work with both Herbert and his
right-hand man, Rudiger Nehls. It was, however, disappointing to
discover that they had such a difficult time finding distribution,
although I know they did the best they could. I believe that the lack
of sufficient distribution essentially killed the potential of realizing
any profit from that effort.

PHIL DIRT: John's right, majors only come to you, but minors both lead &
follow...look at what's up now. A few minors were doin' it, then Pulp
Friction (sp) opens a door or two, and every minor has something out,
though it's usually just the bar band down the street, or the sad case
they like (and that's why they stay minor). So, as the other WEA folks
follow Atlantic, and things move from their subsidiaries onto the label
proper, and that is followed by a band or 2 each for Capital & MCA, the
minors who thought you sucked last year will think you're hot shit this
year....what goes around... Seems to me, my earlier dribble aside,
between us, we have the material & probably the resources & contacts to
make an instro label fly. Imagine a start-up comp series from the likes
of you scribbled in by those of us unable to do a decent glissando,
funded by our collective pockets, and distributed by (there's always a
rub, but I have a few contacts), followed by a series of individual band
releases (who would go first??? What a fight that would be). I'm only
half joking. I have a vault full of great stuff I've produced that
labels have passed on in droves. Then, in a year when the big kids are
buying, they could buy us out & we retire! Well?

DAVID ARNSON: Being in an instro band is a roadblock, period! My favorite
quote is in Teisco del Rey's cd booklet: Drunk Fan: "Can you play
something with words so we can dance to it?" I think every instro band
has experienced this syndrome. I remember once sitting with a well
connected booking agent listening to our tape and he was trying to make
up lyric melodies for us! (of course this meeting didn't work out!)
Also, a lot of people still equate "surf music" exclusively with a
"beach blanket bingo" image. That kind of image and style is still fun
up to a point, but its just "tip of the iceberg" of the music's
potential. I think this perception is gradually changing, though.
I'm heartened by a lot of punk and/or "alternative" type bands doing
instros like Bill Nelson's latest record, Polvo, Dub Narcotic, Pell
Mell, Don Caballero, Savage Republic/Scenic, Monochrome Set, Sonic
Youth's Lee Renaldo and Thurston Moore's solo albums, etc. etc. and
so on, up to and including a lot of new surf/instro bands playing now.

ALLEN WHITMAN: One of my favorite topics. For years industry types gave
us a constant litany of: "I like it, but I don't know what to DO with
it!" If I heard that once, I heard it a hundred times. And, oh, I so
much wanted to tell them exactly what they could do with it!

PHIL DIRT: Eliminators' Rhythm guitarist Preston Wilson related a priceless
tale during the second set at Woodies on the Wharf that really clarifies
the depth of the discrepancy between reality and perception. "...we had
this guy here earlier, ...uh...he's sitting over here (pointed) in the
front saying...uh...'you guys gonna sing a song today?'. I kept saying
'we're an instrumental surf band.' He says '...well, who's your lead
singer?' so I held up my guitar and told him 'Leo Fender was (made) the
lead singer.'...& I was over here (points to their Merchandise table)
standing and he says 'um...what time does this Leo guy show up to
play?'" Roadblocks...perception & common language are the first order
problem. I'm reminded of the failures of the early computer translation
programs. The English phrase "the flesh is weak but the spirit is
willing" came out "the meat is rotten, but the Vodka is strong" in
Russian. 1. Bands that call themselves surf just cuz they don't sing
(Hekawis) make it hard for the rest. 2. The public's sudden awareness
via "Pulp Fiction" has brought them to call it "Pulp Fiction Music".
You can fight all you want, but a photocopy will forever more be a Xerox
copy. So, consider a name change that will identify with the masses,
like pulp surf, or something. It's not like there's a real strong
relationship between the music and surfers (except in So Cal - sorry
Dave), so even "Pulp Rock" would do. I'm emotionally opposed to such
heresy, but it's a way around the identity crisis. 3. Many musicians
seem to be apologetic about playing surf when they talk about it, and
the uninitiated are put off, like it's a lesser form. Eric Clapton
couldn't double pick with full arm thrust for 4 minutes to save his
life. Stand tall! The audience is there, brothers & sisters. I have
a huge audience these days. Clubs in the know will book anything that
calls itself surf...it's your move. I wrote my thesis on "The Emperor's
New Clothes"...sorry!

JOE EMERY: Well DJ., it's pretty simple: We are all teetering on the
brink of insanity (as all great minds are), while all the grungies up
in Seattle are teetering on the brink of drug overdose (and let's not
forget that "drug overdose" is an A&R term for multiplatinum record
sales). Plus junkies make good poster boy sickly heartthrob types and
are easier to push around... they don't make trouble for the big boys.
Us instro guys, we're loners, rebels...

JOHN BLAIR: So Joe, are you saying that all of us should start taking
drugs and strive for overdose heaven, thereby making us candidates for
multiplatinum record sales? Or is this some sly comment about Kurt
Cobain's use of a Fender Jazzmaster? I don't think I'm teetering on
the brink of insanity, although it feels like it sometimes (especially
after spending an hour and a half in the studio "punching in" four bars
of some ridiculously simple lead track). I will agree with you,
however, that surf music and great minds do go together. I'll take
my tongue out of my cheek now if you will.

JOE EMERY: Overdose heaven? Can you really overdose on Reese's peanut
butter cups? No, all I'm saying is "big industry" morons wouldn't know
decent music if it bit them on the ass. I'm the last guy to say, "Let's
keep cool music to ourselves," and no one is ever happier than I am when
a really cool band makes it big (and it does happen), but judging by the
garbage that has been thrust upon us by major labels of late, I'm not
going to hold my breath. I hope this doesn't sound too negative - maybe
I've just heard too many Stone Temple Pilots songs on our "Alternative"
station the last couple of days. : )

JOHN BLAIR: Yeah, I understand your point. But, hasn't that always been the
case really? It isn't too much different now. The big industry moguls
are still signing the bands they think will make them the most money
while the indie labels are still signing the bands they think should be
heard. Anyway, we might be getting off the subject a bit here since we
were supposed to be talking about things that get in the way of a
contemporary surf band's goals. I think we need to forget the big
labels completely. In our quest for record deals and good distribution
of our music, the "biggies" are just a stress source.

FERENC DOBRONYI: Record companies know that instrumental music is too
esoteric to sell in quantity. It seems that you have got to tell the
average listener that "This is a love song" before they get the point,
and they couldn't possibly be imaginative enough to find their own
meaning in wordless music. Remember that the entire music industry is
focused on selling "product" to Jr. High and High school kids, who are
the largest music buying audience by default, only because they can't
yet afford to buy alcohol and cars. Play surf or instumental because
there are no words to express what you are feeling, not because you
think you will sell a lot of records (that would just be a bonus).

BOB DALLEY: And In this corner (well since I am a heavyweight now) I'd
like to concur with John as this subject also fires me up. Having
received many rejection slips myself regarding the Surf Raiders material.
I can feel for what the surf bands are going through today. What it
comes down to is two things: 1. Guaranteed Profit. 2. Absolute Control.
If a major record company cannot see these two things on the bottom line,
you will not be signed. Let's face it, this is life. A record company
exists to make money. They want a sure fire million seller. They want
the copyright and publishing for the additional money it will bring in
to the record company. I went the independent route and actually did
pretty good. I keep complete control, licensed the material where I
could and retained all rights to my material. The best thing I have
ever done is to licensed my song 'The Curl Rider" to GNP/Crescendo
Records. Dealing with Neil Norman has been a great pleasure as he is
great to work with. I have been receiving royalities from them for over
13 years and I am grateful for their honesty and friendship. So going
the independent route isn't bad. I remember when I approached Rhino
Records about the Surf Raiders. They even came out to Knotts Berry
Farm to see us. I didn't hear back from them and when I called they
told me they were going to do their own thing. A while later they
released the Wedge EP. The Wedge's name, the recordings, everything
about the band were originated by Rhino. Complete control over
everything. " Endless Sun" by the group is perhaps one of the best surf
tunes since "Endless Summer" and the writer has no control over it
because it belongs to Rhino. I am not saying that is bad, it is good
for the record company but it takes away your options and ability to
market it yourself.. A label may want too much money if another label
wants to use your song on a comp album and there it sits in some vault
gathering dust, especially if there was a chance for it to be on a CD.
I am happy for the Aqua Velvets and the Mermen for their signing with
Mesa/Bluemoon/Atlantic Records, but I'd be happier with let's say the
Woodies or Satan's Pilgrims who better represent the spirit and sound
of true instrumental surf music. What we need to do is get everyone
who loves and buys surf music linked together through e-mail, zine data
bases etc. That could be the basis for a distribution network that
would give a band an idea who their audience would be. That's my piece.
Hope I didn't make any enemies.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Robert, though I agree that bands like The Woodies deserve
recognition your comment begs the need for an authoritative definition
of "true instrumental surf music". I think you limit musical expression
by saying this. As for data bases, this I totally agree with. and it's
already in place. See Phil Dirt's page http://www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/.
This URL will only grow from where it is now to become a clearing house
for surf bands and music in general.

PHIL DIRT: I'd like to inject a subject that is near & dear to my heart,
and has come up again, for the umpteenth time in e-mail from Halibut
Rick...riff rock! The whole notion that mere progressions are adequate
to be good music seems a bit of self denial...there's a certain amount
that can be hidden by the awful "V" word (vocals). When you are producing
the pure instro form, without a melody line, what can people take away
with them. The acid test for me when I'm listening to new material is,
do I remember it after I've heard it? I'm drawn to rolling rhythms,
counter melodies, lead & rhythm in different registers with different
textures, etc. I find that a lot of bands that record too soon have
too many riff rock noodlings and some covers on their release, and in
that case, it's the covers that I like & play. Then there are new
artists like Canada's Mark Brodie & the Beaver Patrol who write gorgeous
stuff. In that case, who needs covers! Part of what makes great instro
is a deceptive simplicity hiding a sophisticated structure and melody.
This is what I find so fascinating and endearing with Richard Podolar's
writing, and is also why Jim Thomas still does 2 of his tunes in Mermen
sets (Casbah & Quiet Surf aka Samoa). I'd like to pull together a
Podolar Tribute CD & get him to record/produce it at his American
Recording Studio. So here's the question. What makes a good surf tune
to you, and what about it connects with you or your audiences, live &
on disk?

FERENC DOBRONYI: Well Phil, you've got me thinking now. Can you give us an
example of what you mean by riff-rock? When I think of riff-rock, bands
like AC/DC come to mind. We discussed last month about how surf music
has a great tradition of breaking free of the I-IV-V blues rock
progression. To us Pollo's, a good surf song should have a lot of drama,
like a long wave ride: a quiet part, a build, a crescendo, an epiphany,
maybe a crash or two and leave with a sweet memory. As Pepper said, it
should conjure up images.

RICK JOHNSON: I've been having this discussion about riff rock with Mike
Palm (Agent Orange) for a few weeks now and more recently with Phil. If
you think about it, the surf bands are being represented to the main
stream by 1-4-5 Chuck Berry style riff rock. We've raved about all the
exposure we're getting in commercials and such, but that really isn't
what we play. Sure, the Halibuts have played our share of it (I think
Phil's comment about recording too soon fits in here), but I think we've
grown up since those early days. Maybe that's why the big label execs
ignore surf music. They have this image of some detergent commercial
with riff rock playing in the background. The acid test for me comes
after I've played a CD for a few weeks. Am I bored of it? Those that
bore me are the ones that Phil describes as riff rock noodlings with
some covers. What makes a good surf tune? I really like simple, but
sophisticated melodies and clean guitars.

DAVID ARNSON: My three ingredients for a good surf tune are 1) at least one
nicely reverbed electric guitar, 2) the music or the title provides a
soundtrack for your mind, and 3) Like Salieri says in the movie Amadeus,
(not) "too many notes."

PEPPER WILSON: To me the answer to this question is the mood or feeling
that the song produces. I can extend this to Death Valley's western
instro sound as well. This is very clear to me, personally. In vocal
songs, as has been mentioned in this summit before, the listener
identifies a lot with the words. In instrumental music, the sounds in
the song, the ambiance, the beat, everything combine to produce a unique
feeling. It can be the feeling of being somewhere else or of being free
or anything. This sometimes happens with vocal music as well, but to me
that is what makes a good instumental song. As for the Death Valley
audience, during shows, I have noticed many people appear to have the
same type of look about them, taken away to some far off place.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Yes, this is a familiar theme with audience comments to us
as well. A faraway, dreamy look and a slow sway of the upper torso....

PEPPER WILSON: Fans have mentioned that some of Death Valley's songs make
them want to hit the open road, or drive through the desert at sunset.
These are the same images that we had when creating the songs. I have
also heard that a couple of the tunes we do make people think of sex,
although I don't really concur.

JOE EMERY: Hey wait a minute Pep! I thought ALL our songs were about sex!
O.K. that's it, I QUIT!!!

ALLEN WHITMAN: People have told me how, after a particular relationship
ended, they could not listen to "Krill Slippin" anymore because that
was their so-called "soundtrack" for sex and other activities....other
people have introduced themselves as: "I'm that guy who fucks to your
music" (what is not clear...)

PHIL DIRT: So, is there anything that doesn't make someone think of sex.
And, is it not so that music is dominated by males because it is really
all about the peacock thing...struttin' the stuff? You know, totally
non-essential aesthetically attractive show of decadence & cahones size?
We first compete amongst ourselves, then the victors reap the spoils...
But, seriously folks, what is there more emotionally sexy than a '62
Strat drenched in vintage reverb sending minor chordage and floating
notes at sunset across the beach, or in your case, Allen, hair raising
feedback that goes on f-o-r-e-v-e-r in an orgy of human core howling...
damn, I still can't get over how powerful "Pull Of The Moon" is that
way, "Haunted House" version, of course!

JOHN BLAIR: I think riff rock is an appropriate term to describe one
element of a good surf instrumental. I don't know that I can add much
beyond Phil's criteria of rolling rhythms, counter melodies, lead and
rhythm in different registers, different textures, etc. And he makes
an excellent point with "...deceptive simplicity hiding a sophisticated
structure and melody." The difference between the AC/DC type of riff
rock that Ferenc mentions and what Phil refers to, I think, is that in
the case of bands like AC/DC the "riff" is more of a rhythm accompaniment
to the vocal. Usually, the lead takes off in the middle of the song and
breaks away from the "riff" (or hook in many cases). In the case of
surf instrumentals, the "riff" is essentially the melody line, the glue
that holds the entire piece together. Quite often, the main "riff" is
broken by only a bridge. There are other elements, I believe, that can
also contribute to a good surf instro. The sound and style of the drums
(check out the opening 4 bars to "Rumors Of Surf" by Southern Culture On
The Skids), the effective use of reverb (any tune by The Eliminators), a
catchy chord structure that doesn't have to involve augmented ninths or
flatted fifths to make a point, tasteful use of alternative instruments
such as keyboards or sax (I even heard a surf instro the other day with
a sitar in the mix!!!), and maybe the most important element for me is
the "FEEL" of the piece. It should excite or bring a smile to your face
(or, in the case of Death Valley, make you feel like having sex!).

MEL WALDORF: As far as riff rock is concerned, I always think of Wipe Out,
and how it doesn't really represent surf music. In fact, I try to avoid
using it as an example of surf. While I enjoy riff rock, I think of it
more as drag racing music; incentive to push the accelerator a bit
closer to the firewall. Surf music is more elusive. The perfect surf
song sounds about as contrived as the weather. As such, it's much harder
to compose a good surf song. I guess I have a comparitive soft spot for
a stomping rocker, but surf is a thing of beauty.

PHIL DIRT: Mel, you thunder thief, I was just gonna say the difference
between riff rock & surf is like the difference between "Wipe Out" and
"Pipeline". Seems to me that pipeline is the best example of the
classic surf form. Why doesn't anyone use that electric piano anymore
instead of cheesy post surf mid-sixties Farfisa?

ALLEN WHITMAN: I like a tune that helps me feel like I can see beyond the
visible horizon.

RICK ESCOBAR: I feel first of all like any good song there has to be a
strong melody, but I think that's true for any great instrumental. After
that it's the execution, rhythm, counter point and tone and defines the
final out come of the tune. I mean you can take the melody of almost any
song and twist it into any particular style. In surf I feel that there
are many styles within a form, and it is what you [RICK??] with that
dictates what comes across to the listener and what that person may or
may not get out of it. And oh yeah, I almost forgot, LOTS O REVERB!
Seriously, whether the music is Trad or progressive does it make you
think of water, sand and sun. When I see the Mermen, I think of just
riding a current, closing my eyes and just going with it. When I see
the Ultras, I think of Zappa mets PeeWee on a Surf break, it's just out
there. The Trash Women, Neptunas, well that's just a rippin' beach party.
There are a lot of great surf bands out there, and it would suck if
everyone sounded the same and surf never went anywhere past 63. But hey,
it has to be full circle, and you can never forget your roots. I write
and arrange in the old style because I find it a challenge to have the
old flavor yet not repeat what has been done a million times. It's like
being a painter with one brush but with lots of colors. Then again,
that's me.

PHIL DIRT: Welcome & Swami Bows to Rick Escobar of the Woodies...master of
original surf tunes that you'd swear were written in '63...how could it
be that you were the first to bring up reverb as an element to a great
surf song? Rick's right about surfing-up any song, though it really
only works with songs with a strong melody. Example, Japan's Surf
Coasters do the theme from Jaws...why didn't anyone do this before?
Anyway, the only part that really works is the intro, the rest just
rolls along, and I can't remember it. They shoulda used the intro,
then done something else, or developed a whole song around the intro...

COSMIK DEBRIS: Okay, here's my favorite part... Surf musicians are
probably ten times more religious about equipment than other players.
There are obviously a few guitars, basses and amps that have become
synonymous with Surf and instro in general, and there are some players
using stuff that you would never think could even HANDLE this form of
music. What can you tell us about YOUR gear?

JOE EMERY: I play a Fender 50's reissue Strat and a Telecaster (with
Bigsby) - only one at a time - through an old Fender reverb tank and a
Twin Reverb reissue.

PHIL DIRT: I'm not what you'd call a player, just barely a noodler. I love
the sound. I own the single most important element in the surf chain, a
'62 Fender outboard reverb. I also have a perfect '67 Fender Mustang
that I occasionally pick to soothe the savage beast. I run it directly
into my sound board. Actually, I use the outboard as a recording effect
frequently, either for adding a bit of reverb to guitars slightly
lacking, on vocals, or even on the drum kit sometimes. There's just
nothing like that box!

PEPPER WILSON: I play a Fender Jazz Bass that I have modified with EMG
active pick-ups. Most people use active pick-ups to get more high-end
out of their basses, but in our genre, they are used for something else
entirely. The EMG's make a really fat, warm and heavy low end that
will still cut through and not be muddy, in order to compete with two
double picked guitars. The EMG's also add a bunch of sustain and
eliminate the 60Hz hum because they are not electrically connected to
the bridge and strings. This of course eliminates the chance of getting
zapped by the mics. For amplification, I go straight into a Carvin
PB-500 bass head and then into a Fender 2-10"/1-18" cabinet which houses
EV drivers. The 18 really fills up a small room with omnidirectional
low end, which makes for a very big sound, all the way to the back.

JOE EMERY: Omnidirectional low end? Pep, you need to take Mylanta for
that.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Now this makes me PROUD to be a bass player!

PEPPER WILSON: Perhaps I should clarify. All I mean is that the low end
does not seem to be coming from the stage, but from all over the room.

PHIL DIRT: Pepper's point is VERY important, especially on those ominous
low E tunes. With two guitars pummeling the lower extremes of the melody
envelope, the bass needs to really rumble down under. Conventional wisdom
in "the good old days" was that bass should be felt more than heard. An
18 or two with adequate power really makes a difference. When I record,
I usually take a direct for definition, and also use a big diaphragm mic
about 10" from the cone, then mix the two together to balance what's
heard. Definition and rumble don't have to be incompatible. I often find
that I have to boost the bottom end from many players who haven't
transitioned away from the thin eighties bass sound.

FERENC DOBRONYI: My main guitar is a seafoam-blue '94 Ibanez Talman (that's
the one with the fiberboard body), with three "Lipstick tube" pickups and
tremolo, through a Fender Vibro-Verb (brown face) amp. Effects include a
Rat distortion (for a warm lead tone), an Alan Meyers Super Fuzz
distortion, and a Roland Analog delay (usually set to a "slap" echo),
and, of course, lots and LOTS of reverb. I also use a Roland SDE-3000
digital delay that is usually set to near endless repeats, and is keyed
into the tempo of the song (for "Dub" effects). Hardly a traditional
setup, but the sound is pure.

BERNARD YIN: I have possessed tons of Fender amps and recently found myself
Fenderless! I chanced upon a killer deal and do now have a Fender
Concert with a Boogie flavored modification. It has Groove Tubes [of
course] and a very powerful EV speaker. This has been great for all
sorts of gigs and is also allowing me to get twangy in the "right" way
again. It is VERY loud. More traditionally [for me] you will see me at
larger gigs with the bigger gun of a Mesa Boogie Quad Pre-Amp, 50/50
Stereo Power Amp - also Boogie and a 2x12 [reissued 25w Celestions]
Marshall cabinet. I am concerned because I am suddenly wanting it
LOUDER! The Boogie's reverb sucks so I use it real lightly and add with
a bypass switch a heavy digital reverb from a Boss SE-50 multi-effects
unit. It does the job but I will admit that I am scouring the scene for
a spring reverb unit. One note, the Boss SE-50 has an amazing variety
of effects and some, though not conventional surf, are very "underwater".
Amongst them are a delay function which runs from the pitch shifting
circuit so you get a washy delay with all sorts of harmonics and
intervals [adjustable] and it is very interesting. I use it on a song
called Fist Full of Sand which is real beach feeling but does not sound
like any beach music that I have ever heard. It's a small discovery for
me, I guess. Another cool sound is a pseudo Leslie setting which allows
one to adjust speed and rotation of a lower half frequency range and an
upper half. On the floor I use a Boss Phaser, which, as far as new
equipment goes, is very good, a Boss Chorus (the baby blue one), and I
turn it on full to get a vibrato [very submarine!] and of course, a
Thomas Organ Wah. I will be experimenting with A/B-ing between amps
soon. Guitars...I will discuss the three main stage/recording guitars:
1. Purely for show but everyone loves it and it gets me chicks [ha ha]
is a custom made Lucite Flying V with a chrome pick-guard. The neck is
a sixties Jazzmaster neck which had the headstock cut and relaminated to
look like a V headstock. It has 3 [THREE!-yikes] Dimarzio humbuckers
which I must say got to go! This guitar was built and owned ages ago by
an unknown in the Riverside CA area. People in the music scene here do
cite its various owners, one of which I know, but basically, its a
mysterious anomally. I found it in the classifieds for an undisclosed
great price. Since getting it, it has been worked on to be playable.
One fun part is that each pickup is governed by a small on-off toggle,
one for each, and this allows for some very concise Pete Townsend/Richie
Blackmore/Van Halen type feedback w/on-off effecting. Dimarzios and
Lucite are about as soulful as a high school air raid siren. Don't try
this at home. 2. Now, to in part redeem myself. I have a '66 Fender
Musicmaster. It's a beautiful red and was found at a garage sale along
with a small blackface Fender practice amp of same vintage for $100 - for
all! Being that a Musicmaster will never be what a Jaguar is, I took the
artistic license to: add a warm PAF type humbucker in the non existent
"lead" pickup position. Also, I added a pickup selecting toggle so that
I could switch between that and the original bridge pickup which sounds
great. Finally, I have a Khaler [which sucks] in it but has a fluid
feel which fools a LOT of surf purists. This is a fave guitar in the
studio. It's very versatile, light and functional. On stage, I usually
get too whammy happy and do enough dive bombs and such at the end of
songs to make this guitar last, say, one song. 3. Finally, a stock
mid-eighties maple necked Strat with EMG's. A working man's guitar,
great sound, sturdy, happy. I am tempted to mention my Rickenbacker lap
steel but because I play it very poorly, I'll simply share the fact that
it exists with y'all. The pickup is a screamer and it did come with a
Bakelite slide which looks real weird. I also must confess of my two
ukalele's.

JOHN BLAIR: I've just about stayed with the same equipment ever since the
first Jon & The Nightriders' record in 1979. I trade off between a '64
Jaguar and a '58 Stratocaster (with a '62 birds-eye maple neck) depending
on the tune, a '72 Gibson J-50 acoustic (for a rhythm track in the studio
now and then), a 60's vintage Fender tank Reverb, and a pre-CBS Dual
Showman amp. I use heavy-gauge, flatwound strings on the guitars
(although not on the Gibson!). None of my equipment has been modified --
except for the Strat's body/neck disparity (I bought it that way, so go
figure) -- and I don't use effects pedals (I'm probably the last
guitarist on the planet to stick with original equipment with no modern
sound enhancing devices).

BOB DALLEY: I have always been a Fender man. Even back in the sixties I
played a Fender Tele through a Vox Super Beatle doing Inna-gadda-da-vida.
With the Surf Raiders I played a '63

  
Sunburst Fender Jaguar, a '62 brown
tolex reverb and a '64 blackface dual showman with Altec Lansings. You
can see the equipment on the front of "Surfin' Guitars." I sold all that
stuff to print the book but I now have a '65/66 Sunburst Fender Jaguar, a
62' Fender reverb unit (use to be brown but recover to White. I have a
'64 blonde blackface Fender Showman with two 15" JBL's cabinets. I use
a 57 reissue Fender strat to play the non surf stuff. I have medium gage
flatwounds on the Jag to get the perfect surf sound. Sorry John, your
not the only only guitarist left on the planet to stick with original
equipment And no modern sound enhancing devices!

TODD DAMNIT: My gear? Oh shit, here comes my most self-indulgent answer.
I love old gear, in general. This pertains to almost everything:
furniture, clothes, etc. One thing to consider is if it is reliable
cause a '62 reverb unit is useless if it doesn't crank up regularly. Here
is my shtuff: a '62 reissued Fender P bass, a wild, hollow, single
cutaway Harmony bass, and my newest and funnest, a black 60's Mosrite
bass. I got amps. Black face (Fender) Bassman head, Ampeg flip-top B15
bass amp, various Ampeg heads, a mammoth Sunn four 15 cabinet and head
system and some Altec cabinet I rigged. I have a 1964 Fender reverb unit
and a Vox Jaguar organ. Most of this stuff fit into my $150 ceiling
cause stuff can still be bought cheaply in Nashville. The guitar players
in my combo both have old Fender guitars and several blackface Fender
amps, blonde and black, and old as hell reverb units and fuzzy stuff.
We aren't slavish; it just worked out this way. With all this fun stuff
you might think we would sound better, no? One thing to add, a 15 inch
speaker is still my fave for reverberated guitars!

MEL WALDORF: It's taken me a while to collect my dream rig (there's that
pesky money issue...) but I'm almost there. I use a mid sixties
Jazzmaster - something to see sporting a coral pink finish. I run that
through a reissue Fender Reverb on into a blonde Showman head and a
Bandmaster 2x12" bottom. The only other effect is a big muff, which I
use for fuzztone. I've had other amps, but none get the lush tones.
I could sit for hours just playing tremolo dips. Often do. BTW-if
anyone out there knows of a lonely Fender 1x15" bottom, let me know.

ALLEN WHITMAN: Bass - '69 Fender P-Bass Body. Boogie Bodies 4-String
Solid Birds-Eye Maple Neck (unfinished). Chrome Schaller Tuners w/ One
(1) Black Hipshot Detuner "E" to "D". Badass I Chrome Bridge. Leo
Knapp Custom Wound Split-P Pickup with Alnico Magnets. Passive
Electronics. D'Addario XL230 (.055, .075, .090, .110). This bass is
toothpaste green. It has been stolen from me and I got it back within
minutes with the help of a few friends and a baseball bat. I have had
it for 15 years. Amp - Randall RB500. Solid State, Rack Mounted. Run
Mono, 385 Watts. This amp is on permanent loan from my friend who got
it from his sister who was going out with the road manager of Tesla who
got it as a product endorsement deal. Cabinet - Sunn 200S. 2 x 15",
Side-Vented. Electro-Voice EV15B Series II speakers. These cabinets
were manufactured for Sunn by JBL in the late '60's and early '70's.
I got the story from an engineer at Dolby Labs who used to work for Sunn
in the seventies.

RICK JOHNSON: I've been told I'm a snob when it comes to equipment. I've
got 3 Jaguars ('63, '64, '72), a Showman ('63) and a reverb unit ('63).
I really don't like to play anything else. Fender, Fender, Fender...

RICK ESCOBAR: Well for equipment I play a Jazzmaster re-issue "bla" but
after some work it plays fine and I have to say it really does a great
job of staying in tune. I play this through a black face Dual Showman,
Reverb tank and an enclosed 2x12 cab with 100 watt JBL's. Rhythm guitarist
Dave Mangainte has an original Jag, a black face Showman with 2x15's and
a tank. Dave has tons of tone. Also both our reverb tanks go to 11.

DAVID ARNSON: My favorite amplifier is a Fender super reverb; I love its
pillowy reverb tones. I used to play a G&L guitar and a Mosrite, but
both were stolen in a heartbreaking incident. The Mosrite had been
autographed by the Ventures and Davie Allan at gigs we had played with
them. I went back to my original guitar, a 1961 Gibson SG Special, and
it turned out to sound great. It has a great tremolo bar and I can get
John Cippolina, Link Wray and ultimately my own sounds from it. My
backup guitar is a cool pushbutton pickup Goya Rangemaster. High E
string on down is an .011, .014, .018, .030, .044, and a .052.
Unfortunately I always have to mix string sets! I use nylon picks 'cause
I always bust plastic ones. I have a footswitch to control amp vibrato,
a compressor for leads, and an Arion stage tuner so I don't seem like a
total spazz trying to tune up live. When I grow up I want to get an
outboard Fender Reverb unit.

COSMIK DEBRIS: Well, it's time to wrap this up, I'm afraid. It's been
a lot of fun. I suppose all that's left to ask is...what's next for
all of you? Projects in the works?

JOHN BLAIR: Yeah, it's been cool. I'm grateful to have been included in
this interesting group (now, if all of us could meet in a studio
somewhere, we could cut "We Are The Surf." There'd be a sign over the
doorway that says 'Leave Your Marshall Stack Outside'). In the works
for me right now is a new Jon & The Nightriders' record. Our original
drummer, Dusty Watson, and rhythm guitarist, Dave Wronski are back in
action and we're lucky to have Pete Curry (multi-instrumentalist
extraordinaire) join us on bass. (Ed. Note: Pete Curry is also Rick
Johnson's bandmate/guitarist in The Halibuts) At this point in time,
we're about halfway through the project, which is coming along nicely
and will involve a surprise or two I think. After we finish the
recording, I'm hoping we can get out and about for some live shows.

PHIL DIRT: Over the past decade, I've recorded a large volume of live
performance from surf bands. I've written a series of CDR's for use on
Surf's Up! called "Gremmie's Jukebox" from the highlights. I'm looking
for a label interested in a series like this, or even some full CD's from
some of this material. In most cases, the bands are willing. It's just
the usual label BS. I'm also expanding my web page by leaps & bounds
(www.cygnus.com/kfjc/surf/). I'm hoping to develop a full listing of all
the surf instro releases since about 1980 to serve as a data base /
clearing house. Beyond that, I'd like to my show syndicated to the dry
areas...

COSMIK DEBRIS: You'd certainly have my undivided attention here in Seattle.

BERNARD YIN: Despite priding myself on a sort of "bastard son of surf"
trip, Brazil 2001 is actually continuing surf influenced sounds in the
repertoire; many of which are instrumental. We are interested in the
big time but when working on such, represent ourselves NOT as a surf
band but certainly cite it as a strong influence. The group is less
than a year old and has been offered a deal and draws industry vultures
to its shows. BUT despite all of this, which occurs naturally here in
LA, the group was started for fun and will continue to exist purely for
that reason. Recording is an unsung great stimuli for any band and we
are doing some more soon which I intend to share with all sub-cowabungans.
(Ed. Note: "Cowabunga" is an e-mail list for surf music lovers that
has a lot of well known musicians who post regularly, including everybody
in this interview. Send the message "subscribe Cowabunga" to
listserv@ucsd.edu). Last night we did a gig with some friends' band and
it was a nice reminder of how cool it is to just have fun bills and get
silly. There is a great one on the horizon which I will announce via
Cowabunga of similar ilk. As for myself, I am experimenting with a
producer friend where we incorporate serious twang into genres not
normally associated with the tone or even guitar. I think it's
soundtrack destined. Oh well. I think having a day job, believe it or
not, keeps the music exciting! I have been surprised with the last year
because I found myself really having fun. All I can ask for is that this
continues and that the waves are BIG!

FERENC DOBRONYI: 1996 figures to be the Big-fun year for Pollo Del Mar. We
plan on taking mini tours to So. Cal and the Pacific Northwest, and maybe
a side trip to Texas, and (BIG if) the Holy Grail: Japan. We would also
like to release a CD.

TODD DAMNIT: What is in store for Thee Phantomb 5ive? Besides me actually
learning to play the bass guitar, I would like to keep making records.
The fact that all of my combo have solid day jobs frees us up, somewhat.
I don't have as much pressure to deliver tunes that gotta sell, do y'all
understand? So we have 7's to record this fall for Solamente, Dionysus,
and Get Hip, which'll keep us busy. I do not worry that I am painting
myself into a corner by blastin out instros, but rather am excited about
really hittin upon something solid in the future. To sum this up, Thee
Phantom 5ive are going nowhere and that suits me. P.S. I am looking for
a saxman to round out the sound and I also have a big house( trailer?)
for any of you surfmen that may venture into the city of guitars.

BOB DALLEY: My projects in the works continue to be promote and preserve
surf music in any form I can. Currently working on 2nd edition on
"Surfin' Guitars", a first edition on the bands of the surf music revival
1979-1995, and a book on the Surf Raiders, An American Surf Band. I am
also waiting for John Blair, Don Murrey and Pete Curry to move to Utah
so we can get a bad-assed surf band going up here. (I'm lonely!) Again,
thanks to all. It has been interesting reading and an education for me
to see all the different opinions relating to surf music. Let's do this
again soon.

RICK ESCOBAR: Well, we start recording for a CD "I hope" in 2 weeks, so
I'm crossing my fingers!

MEL WALDORF: I look forward to making more music. Also, I think it would
be really cool to get a more solid scene going here in the east. There's
a bunch of interest, but it hasn't quite gelled. It's an exciting time
to be a surf player.

RICK JOHNSON: The Halibuts are wrapping up in the studio right now for
another release for Upstart. It should be out early next year.

PEPPER WILSON: Death Valley has another set of tunes ready to go, in a
"Ventures in Space" vein. We are currently talking with Dave Crider of
Estrus Records to put it out. If that falls through, it will go out on
Double Naught, like Que Pasta! Death Valley had planned a west coast
tour for this past summer, but it fell through due to the loss of our
drummer, Blue. Joe, Mear and I are in search of another at this time
and will pick up where we left off. We hope to get out west next spring.

DAVID ARNSON: Insect Surfers will be putting out our own cd soon as
possible, as well as playing in San Francisco and San Diego. We will
continue to put out tunes as long as our planet still has an ozone layer.

ALLEN WHITMAN: The Mermen have to tour. Martyn doesn't really want to,
Jim doesn't care what happens and I love playing out. So, a two-month
North American tour in early '96. Then work on a new studio album for
release in late spring. Maybe Europe in the summer. I hope so. It's
the main thing that keeps me from worrying about the massive debts we're
piling up. Like Henry Kaiser says: "RECORD COMPANIES = PROBLEMS." What
happens when you agree to allow them to license your back catalog and
then they don't release anything for three years? Sometimes I think
that it would be way better to sell less cd's and make more money on
each one by doing it all yourself, at grassroots level. Everything on a
more realistic scale. We don't want to compete with the likes of Barbara
Streisand and AC/DC. But, it beats working as a temp! PS: I welcome all
comments and inquiries, every question answered (eventually), and thanks
to Deej for making this happen!!!

PHIL DIRT: I've been honored to participate in your exchange. As a
non-musician producer engineer DJ historian fan, I've been privileged
to be included in your inner circle, and in many cases, you guys are
my personal friends as well. Thanks...keep kicking the reverb.

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LABELLED: Upstart Records - An interview with Glenn Dicker.
Interviewed by DJ Johnson

Most record labels start with an obscure release or two or twenty,
and if they handle them well, things start to go their way, and bands of
higher skill levels begin to show an interest. This process usually takes
several years. Upstart Records, of Cambridge, Mass, has only been in
existence for two years. The first record they released was "Instruments
Of Terror," by Laika & The Cosmonauts. That's a pretty damned impressive
first release. Actually, that would be an impressive 20th release. In
short order, Upstart obtained a stable of some of the most talented artists
in the music biz, from Teisco del Rey to The Halibuts to Nick Lowe. This
month, we had the pleasure of discussing this incredible label with Glenn
Dicker, one of its three owners. In talking to Glenn, one can't help but
envy him. He gets to spend his day immersed in music, and one thing is
certain...his passion for the music is very real. As Glenn would say,
"as long as it rocks!"

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COSMIK DEBRIS: Let's go all the way back to the beginning, here. What
got you into music?

Glenn: That's a tough one, cause my parents really weren't big music fans,
so there wasn't much music in my house growing up. A couple of things
early on come to mind however. My sister played her Beach Boys records
a lot and listened to the radio with songs like "Baby Love, Love" that
competely got me fired up. I also remember watching the Monkees on
Saturday mornings and thinking "how cool," when I was real young. I
was interested in playing instruments since as far back as I can
remember, though. My best friend's family had tons of stuff laying
around, guitar, accordion, piano, and other junk, and we used to always
play around with them when I went over his house.

CD: What kind of music were you playing?

Glenn: We basically would try to learn stuff off the radio or off our
older sisters' records like Beatles tunes, The Who, anything really at
first. Then we got into punk rock stuff and began writing songs, or
what we thought were songs anyway. Eventually we ended up in Boston
and got together with some other guys who were into rocking and we
recorded some stuff. Turned out pretty good I think.

CD: What caused you to make the leap from performer to label owner?

Glenn: I was always interested in putting out records by people other than
myself as a "what I want to do when I grow up" kind of thing while I was
in a band. I figured that was the best way for me to keep rocking when
the band thing was done.

CD: Do you ever miss performing?

Glenn: I still play with bands, but not on any serious level. Just for the
sake of rocking.

CD: You've had some amazing talent on your label, and the thing that is
so amazing is you actually started out with a Laika & The Cosmonauts
album, "Instruments Of Terror," so you really hit the ground running.
Were you surprised by how quickly things fell into place, or am I way
off in assuming they did?

Glenn: You assume correctly. Putting out the Laika record was exactly
what really got things rolling immediately. As soon as we got that
going, everything really fell into place quickly with Teisco, the
Tailgators, the Halibuts and it just kept moving after that. It was
an unstoppable thing once we got going. We'll always look on Laika
in a very special way, since they were the spark that really got us
going. Not to mention they've become close friends.

CD: How did you manage to line up Laika as a first release?

Glenn: That's a cool story. What happened was that one of my partners at
the time was working for Rounder Records doing Export, and the Finnish
version of "Instruments" on Amigo records ended up on his desk by some
twist of fate. They were looking for some mail order support in the
States and we grabbed the CD and checked it out. We all thought it was
amazing, still do, and it was then that the three of us decided to work
together and put out this record in the U.S. It couldn't of been a
better thing to start a label with. I've always loved surf music and
this was beyond anything I considered pure surf, something new.

CD: You've certainly put out a lot of quality instro records, but I gotta
ask you about Nick Lowe. How did you happen to hook up with him?

Glenn: That was another amazing thing. My partner, Jake Guralnick,
produced a record by Sleepy LaBeef and sent a copy to Nick's English
label, Demon Records, to check out and possibly get a quote for the
press kit. Nick wrote back saying how much he enjoyed the album.
Then Jake met Nick at an Elvis Costello show near Boston later.
Eventually, we all learned that Nick had been dropped from Warners
and had an album recorded and ready to go. We all decided that this
would at the least be a good learning experience to express our
interest in putting the album out on Upstart, and at best could get
lucky and actually be able to release it. Well, after going back and
forth, and Nick and his people getting to know us, (they) decided we
were the exact label they were looking for. So we got the gig and put
out "The Impossible Bird." Then this past summer we released a live
EP called "Live! On The Battlefield," and on October 31st, we're
reissuing Nick's Warner Brothers release, Party Of One. The three
Upstarts, Jake, Chris Cote and myself are actually going to London in
December to go to a couple of Nick solo gigs over there at which he'll
be trying out some new material. So perhaps you'll see a new Nick
album in '96. He's real pleased to be on Upstart. We're, of course,
ecstatic.

CD: Nick's a great producer, too. Any chance he might be doing some of
that for a few of your other bands in the future?

Glenn: Funny you asked that. That question runs through my mind, too,
cause I think it would be real fun to do something with Nick as a
producer. Nick's basically sort of hung it up, producer-wise, but I
think if the right project came along that really was up Nick's alley,
he'd probably consider it.

CD: What's the situation at Upstart? Do you have employees, or do you
fly solo?

Glenn: Well there are three Upstarts, as I mentioned before. We also have
an employee who works on our tour publicity. And we have two part time
people, together making one full time job, doing radio charting for CMJ
reporting stations. We are nationally distributed through Rounder, so
we also have access to their staff to help do what needs to be done for
our records.

CD: Did you seek out Rounder, or did they come looking for you?

Glenn: I wish I could say that tons of folks were looking at us and
saying, "These guy rock - we need to hook up with them." But that's
far from the case. All three of the Upstarts worked at Rounder doing
various jobs and when we were getting the ball rolling- we had Laika,
Teisco and Tailgators records all planned - we decided to go to them
before we actually released any of them and ask if they'd consider
Upstart for National Distribution. Rounder nationally distributed
other cool labels like Black Top out of New Orleans and a few others,
but had nothing like Upstart, so we thought why not ask. And they
basically said "Sure, sounds good." So we were in business. Rounder
has always been real supportive of Upstart, so we're real pumped to be
with them.

CD: Indelicate question a'comin'...Is Upstart paying your bills? So many
quality labels just barely get by...

Glenn: Well, at this point we're just getting by. But we are constantly
encouraged by increased sales. So for just being around for less than
two years, we've managed to release 20 albums and we're growing in a
positive way. We expect, as time goes by, we'll get through to more
people. We're definitely optimistic about the future.

CD: Do you think you've got the Upstart formula pretty well set, or do
you want to branch out into other musical styles?

Glenn: Well, there's no set formula, that's for sure. We like to say
that Upstart is into putting out music that makes any party rock.
But aside from that, we're open to anything. We like to keep folks,
and ourselves, guessing what we'll do next. Keeps things fresh and
fun that way. No need to get into only one type of music, there's so
much great stuff out there, and we believe that variety keeps it
rockin'!

CD: Now that you've got the perspective of a few years experience, is this
label business what you hoped it would be?

Glenn: Yeah, I knew it would be a pain in the ass in a lot of ways, but
overall, I'm completely enjoying it and love rocking with all the great
bands we're involved with.

CD: Do you do much in the way of A&R hunting, or do you mostly work with
established bands you cross paths with?

Glenn: We don't really have any set way of getting bands on our label.
We've signed bands that we liked because they sent us a demo tape and
we never even saw 'em live, we signed bands that were referred to us
and we loved them, we signed bands that we loved after we saw them...
basically, whatever rocks us, for whatever reason, we consider.

CD: Speaking of A&R, do you get an avalanche of unsolicited tapes?

Glenn: We get a bunch of tapes, which we listen to all of. We don't mind
getting tapes, we get a lot of cool stuff that way. I think it's only
fair to give everything a listen. It can be humorous for a variety of
reasons as well. Some people amaze me with what they send or perceive
that we would be a good label for. But you can find some real gems
sometimes.

CD: Without naming names, can you tell us some of the more bizarre things
people have sent you?

Glenn: Some of the most hilarious stuff is the one-man-band kind of thing,
many times I guess the guy is so lame he couldn't pay someone to play
the drums or bass with him, so the programmed bass and drum works fine
for him. Well, that's wrong, it usually sounds ridiculous. But
sometimes underneath all the crap there is good songwriting, but usually
not. I also get a kick out of the singer-songwriter stuff people send
us, which is far from our forte. Very mellow stuff that just makes your
stomach turn inside out. Can't ever listen to demos right after a big
meal.

CD: We always ask this question. As a favor to the unsigned hopefuls out
there, y'know? If a band wants to record for Upstart, what should they
do?

Glenn: Send us a demo tape or CD, press kit, etc. We can't get back to
everyone, but if we're interested, we'll definitely contact folks. A
self addressed stamped postcard is also a good way to get a response.

CD: And bands of what genre have the best chance of attracting your
attention right now?

Glenn: Well, we're pretty open minded. My only suggestion is before
sending anything, become familiar with the label and try to
realistically determine if you could see your stuff on our label in
context with the other acts.

CD: I want to talk about the entire process, from start to finish, of
putting out a record. Starting from the initial notion, what is the
usual procedure, ending with the finished product in my CD changer?

Glenn: This is kinda tricky. It goes through many steps. Alright, here's
an example of what can happen. We hear a band we like, check 'em out
live whenever possible, and decide we'd like to work with them. Then
we discuss the idea with the band and their management, if they have any.
We like to make sure that we will enjoy working with the band as people
too. Then we send them a contract, which they go over and work out with
their people, and usually go back and forth a bit. If everyone agrees,
then you sign the contracts and plan out a release date, and if the
record needs to be recorded and wasn't done previous to this point, you
work out those details. Then you discuss different ways to work the
album to radio, press, retail, and other areas of interest. Touring is
always made a priority for us to even consider working with someone.
Then the album gets mastered and sent to the plant and produced. Then
it gets shipped out to the distributors and we start kicking some ass
so people will want to hear it, go out and buy the thing and start
rocking.

CD: Do you usually offer contracts that are for one release, or do you go
for long-term deals?

Glenn: We prefer to get into a long-term relationship with artists so as
label and artist we can grow together. This way it's a partnership for
the future of both label and artist. We have done one-off's, though,
with several people, and sometimes that is just the way it works out,
however, multi-record deals are preferred.

CD: So who are the bands that you have long-term contracts with?

Glenn: We have multi-album contracts with a lot of bands, like Laika, Los
Straitjackets, Vidalias, Tailgators, Dennis Brennan, Big Ass Truck and
many more. I'd say the majority is that way.

CD: Who are you working with for upcoming releases? And I sure hope The
Halibuts are one of 'em...

Glenn: Yeah, the Halibuts will have a new album, perhaps in June. We
also have new albums coming out by Teisco Del Rey and the Tailgators
in January, Big Ass Truck in February, a compilation of Laika stuff
from pre-Instruments of Terror era in March. Also next year there'll
be a new Los Straitjackets album being recorded in December with Ben
Vaughn producing again. Also an album of Truck Driving songs by various
artists including Buck Owens, Junior Brown and Son Volt to name but a
few. Also a new Vidalias album will come out in '96.

CD: I saw a message you posted on an e-mail list about Los Straitjackets
and their current tour. Do you do a lot of promoting when a band hits
the road?

Glenn: Touring is the number one priority for us. If you don't tour,
forget it. It's absolutely necessary. Touring is the best way we can
promote an album. Seems obvious, but you'd be amazed how difficult it
is for bands on this level to tour. It's very expensive and hard work,
but again, you gotta suck it up and do it, or we can't do our job. I
believe we do great promotion for touring bands. It makes all the
difference. No way to skip over touring for new bands.

CD: How involved do you get in that? Do you arrange the tours, promote,
and all that, or do you farm that work out?

Glenn: We are involved in almost every aspect of most artist's careers
that we have a current album with. We go as far as to trying to get
artists who need booking agents hooked up with one. We've been fairly
successful with this effort so far. As far as booking tours ourselves,
man, that's not what we can do. What we do do is make sure that there
is press and radio stuff happening to help promote the show, consider
advertising the date and getting local retailers involved by hanging
posters and of course making sure they have stock. We even call the
venue and make sure they've got everything they need to make the show
a success.

CD: Does that aspect of the job get pretty crazy?

Glenn: Tour promotion is crazy, yet it's incredibly fun and satisfying,
too. It's loads of work, but it pays off in articles in local press,
radio interviews and giveaways and airplay, posters and stock in stores,
venues with posters and of course the end goal - better attended gigs,
making the artist happy and increased sales in that market.

CD: Los Straitjackets have to be one of the more interesting bands out
there right now, with the wrestling masks and all, not to mention the
incredibly intense music. Do you have any good stories from working
with them, or are they pretty normal in the studio?

Glenn: They're incredibly funny guys. We've had some great times hanging
out with them. I've rocked with them in Nashville and when they've
played up here in Boston. They've got a great sense of humor, if you
haven't noticed from them onstage, but are like that all the time too.
Great guys. I haven't had the privilege of being in the studio when
they were recording, but I'm sure it's been a killer time. Danny Amis
has some good stories about some of his experiences working with TNN
and the Opry. You might wanna ask him sometime.

CD: Another band you've worked with is Thee Phantom 5ive. Todd is an
e-mail buddy of mine, but we've never met. Now, he's GOTTA be fun to
work with. (Ed. Note: Todd is one of the participants in The Great
Surf Summit interview in this issue)

Glenn: Todd is a very close friend of mine and he's put me up many times
at his place in Nashville. I saw Thee Phantom 5ive once in Nashville
and thought they were great. They, too, have a good sense of humor.
Todd and I met when he lived in Boston.

CD: What are the fringe benefits of your work?

Glenn: Ah yes. Well, I get free CD's from Upstart. Also I get to meet
an incredibly cool bunch of people, get to travel to exotic lands like
Memphis and Charleston, West Virginia, and get to hang out with the
bands. Sometimes I can even get some free food at parties we throw for
record release gigs.

CD: Do you have moments of satisfaction where you put on the headphones
and listen to a new release and say "I played a big part in getting
this great album out there?"

Glenn: Oh my God, definitely! Maybe not taking a lot of credit for it
happening, but definitely in saying, "I'm so fuckin' pumped that Upstart
has this killer record on our label." That's the most satisfying thing,
cause we're so into the music we put out, totally.

CD: I assume there's a downside to running a label as well?

Glenn: Well, it takes a lot of effort and time, but if you're into the
music, which is the ONLY reason we do it, then it's totally worth it.

CD: Do you think you still want to be doing this in twenty years?

Glenn: Absolutely.

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MOBILE FIDELITY SOUND LABS -- AN AUDIOPHILE'S DREAM
By Steve Marshall

In 1977, Mobile Fidelity Sound Labs began producing the first true
audiophile albums -- the trademarked Original Master Recordings. Starting
with such classic titles as Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" & The
Beatles' "Abbey Road" (later to be followed by the entire Beatles catalog),
MFSL quickly became known as the industry leader in state-of-the-art
recordings. In several instances (such as the majority of The Beatles'
catalog), the MFSL vinyl versions were sonically superior to their
commercially available compact disc counterparts.
In the following years, other companies (such as Nautilus) tried to
compete for a share of the market. As technologies developed further, MFSL
produced its exclusive UHQR (Ultra High Quality Record) series. Pressed on
200 grams of pure virgin vinyl and limited to only 5000 copies, each title
quickly became highly sought after by collectors. While MFSL continued to
get the top artists in the music business, the competition couldn't keep up.
In 1984, as vinyl began fading from public acceptance, MFSL entered the CD
market and had released 16 titles by year's end.
In 1987, the 24 karat gold Ultradisc made its debut. After additional
refinements in the mastering process, they introduced the Ultradisc II --
now recognized as the new standard in recorded music by critics and
consumers alike. Due in part to the titles MFSL has chosen, and their new
trademarked GAIN System (Greater Ambient Information Network) used to master
the new releases, the Ultradisc II series has met with great critical and
commercial success. Using the new GAIN System technology, MFSL has also
returned to manufacturing audiophile vinyl releases with its new Anadisq
200 series.
The next portion of this article will focus on five of MFSL's gold
Ultradisc II releases, while the following part will take a look at some of
the company's new Anadisq 200 vinyl releases. MFSL's 1990 release of The
Who's classic double album, "Tommy", finds the two albums combined onto one
CD (before MCA did it). The sound on the newly remastered MCA version is
crisper, but the MFSL one is warmer -- especially on "Sparks". The
percussion is very clear on the song, more so than on the MCA version. The
drums are louder and a bit muddier on the MFSL version, but it sounds more
like the original vinyl release of the album. The lyrics and the rest of
the booklet have been faithfully reproduced. The main thing that will make
collectors seek out this CD though, is the alternate version of "Eyesight
to the Blind" -- only available on the MFSL CD -- featuring a different
vocal track by Roger Daltrey.
Next up is the 1993 release of the Derek and the Dominos double album,
"Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs". Using the original mix of the album
(which is good), as opposed to the remixed one currently available from
Polydor, the MFSL version has a higher output level than it's Polydor
counterpart. The vocals are slightly distorted at times, as if the levels
were a bit too high during the mastering process. Even with the minor
distortion on the voices, the sound is still markedly better than the
original vinyl. There is some tape hiss evident on the MFSL version that
isn't heard on the Polydor release, but it's usually not enough to be
distracting. The best thing about the MFSL release though, is the booklet.
It features an informative six-page essay by the album's executive producer,
Tom Dowd on the recording of the album. It also contains photos not found
in the original album, as well as a fold-out poster of the album's inside
photo collage.
In the spring of 1994, Mobile Fidelity released the first album by The
Alan Parsons Project, "Tales of Mystery and Imagination". On this CD, like
the "Layla" release, MFSL used the original 1976 mix rather than the 1987
one. However after hearing the 1987 version, with the Orson Welles narration
during "A Dream Within a Dream" and the additional guitar solos added
throughout the CD, the MFSL version sounds like something is missing. The
CD has a warm timbre and good separation, but pales slightly when compared
to the original vinyl, which is crisper and has more punch. Since the
original mix of the album is not available on CD though, MFSL deserves kudos
for using the original mix rather than putting out another copy of the 1987
version.
1995 saw the MFSL release of Clapton's first solo album, "Eric Clapton."
Channel separation on the CD is excellent. The entire album sounds much
more spacious than the original CD. Throughout the album, the instruments
are distinct and very well defined. For example, on "Let it Rain" (a song
I've heard thousands of times), I was able to hear things I've never heard
before, and with a clarity that was startling. Clapton's solo in the bridge
of the song sounds better than ever. The bass guitar on the CD was resonant,
never muddy.
Also released by MFSL in 1995 was Todd Rundgren's double-LP masterpiece,
"Something/Anything?". Originally released on Bearsville in 1972,
"Something/Anything?" contains some of Rundgren's biggest hits. Where the
Ultradisc II version really shines however, is on the more obscure tracks
like "One More Day (No Word)" and "Wolfman Jack", with all the instruments
and voices sounding distinct and natural. It's a shame that MFSL couldn't
get the alternate version of "Wolfman Jack" with the Wolfman himself sharing
the vocals for their version of the CD. Encased in a handsome slipcover
featuring the original cover art, the two CDs come with a 24-page booklet
containing several new photos, a reproduction of the poster that came with
the album, plus lyrics and full liner notes for all the tracks. In addition,
the booklet has it's own slipcover explaining the GAIN System (on the
inside) as well. The only thing wrong with the packaging on "Something/
Anything" is the inclusion of at least one photo from a different time
period. Aside from that, MFSL did a superb job on this one.
Time to move on to the vinyl releases now. Utilizing the new GAIN
System technology, and a new high-end pressing facility, MFSL debuted the
Anadisq 200. These numbered limited edition vinyl pressings pick up where
the Original Master Recordings left off -- only better. Each title is
strictly limited to 500 pressings per stamper to assure that the quality
remains consistent throughout the production process. Also the new albums
are heavier than their OMR predecessors, pressed on 200 grams of high
definition virgin vinyl. All the Anadisq 200 releases are mastered at
half-speed to allow every nuance of the master tapes to be accurately
transferred to the vinyl. The albums are then specially packaged to
maintain flatness & prevent warping. Each album is limited to 5000 copies.
On rare occasions, there may be additional pressings.
One such title was the debut release of the new Anadisq 200 series,
Muddy Waters "Folk Singer". Originally released by MFSL in the spring of
1994, "Folk Singer" is now on it's third pressing, and understandably so.
There are not enough superlatives in the English language to come close to
describing the sound quality on this album. It won the prestigious 1995
Golden Note Award for Best Reissue from The Academy for the Advancement of
High End Audio, and deservedly so. The Anadisq pressing was extremely quiet,
no surface noise whatsoever. The dynamic range and clarity of the 1963
recording are nothing short of amazing. As if the sound quality wasn't
enough, the performance is equally as good. "Folk Singer" boasts an all-star
lineup of musicians with a young Buddy Guy on guitar on all but one song,
and the great Willie Dixon on upright bass on four songs. If you want to
hear a classic acoustic blues album, performed by a group of legendary
musicians that sound like they're in the same room with you -- buy this
album. It doesn't get any better than this.
Also in the spring of 1994 (as noted above), MFSL released the debut
album from The Alan Parsons Project. The album sounds very warm and clear,
although this particular copy had an excessive amount of surface noise.
Overlooking the poor pressing, the sound quality is superb and free of any
distortion. The album's separation and dynamic range are superb. The
orchestra is simply breathtaking on "The Fall of the House of Usher". The
whirling middle section in "The Tell-Tale Heart" is mesmerizing. The booklet
from the original album is included here (in full size). Dim the lights and
turn up the volume.
1995 has seen the release of several fine new titles in the Anadisq 200
series. Todd Rundgren's "Something/Anything?" is one such title. The
packaging isn't quite as elaborate as the Ultradisc II version, but the
sheer bulk of the 2LP set is impressive in itself. The Anadisq 200 version
comes with a 22-inch square rendition of the poster, with the complete
lyrics & liner notes on the back. Sound quality is excellent, much clearer
than the original issue in 1972. The output level is low here, but the
instruments and vocals seem more natural & have greater dynamic range.
Also released this year was the vinyl version of Eric Clapton
self-titled solo album, "Eric Clapton". As is the case on some of the
Anadisq 200 titles, the output level is low. However, by simply turning up
the volume when you play the album, you will find the instruments all very
well defined. The bass is extremely distinct throughout the album. Clapton's
guitar work on the album has never sounded clearer.
Keeping in a guitarist vein, we move on to the MFSL release of B.B.
King's classic 1968 album "Lucille". Like the Muddy Waters album, the
pressing is free of any surface noise. The sound quality on the album is
incredible. Captured in just two days of recording sessions in December
1968, the album sounds like it could have been recorded yesterday. The
album has an almost big-band sound to it at times, and the horns are all
clear & easily distinguishable from each other.
The last album to be reviewed here is R.E.M.'s debut album, "Murmur".
The sound quality on the Anadisq 200 is much better than it's original
release. The highs are crisp and clear, the bass is deep & resonant. The
guitars on "Talk About the Passion" sound more natural than ever before.
Mike Mills' bass guitar is full of punch, especially on "9-9" and "Catapult".
There was a scratch on the second side of the copy I received that caused a
skip during "Sitting Still". However, when played a second time, the
scratch was not audible at all.
All of the titles in the Anadisq 200 series have a disclaimer (as did
their OMR predecessors) concerning pops and ticks being heard during
playback of the albums. It explains how the metal parts in the mastering
process are not de-horned to retain the transients of the musical signal.
As the discs are played more, the stylus will polish the grooves and
actually improve the sonic quality of the album.
Mobile Fidelity continues to release a wide variety of titles from
across the musical spectrum, and makes no compromise in the production of
it's Ultradisc II and Anadisq 200 series of audiophile recordings. The
only way you'll hear these releases in better quality is to listen to the
original master tapes.
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THE BEST CHANNEL ON TELEVISION
By DJ Johnson


Sometimes I just don't know what to think about the boys and girls on
The Hill in DC. Every time I turn on C-SPAN, I see behavior that makes me
cringe! As a general example, let's say Congressional type person A is
making a speech about the need for brass spittoons in the womens' bathroom
of the Supreme Court. Okay, that's slightly more interesting than most of
the speeches they really make, but we're generalizing here. What happens
next is predictable. Somebody, almost always from the opposite political
party, will start trying to talk over the person. Not like they do on
Crossfire or Nightline, mind you, but pseudo-politely. In a terse voice,
with indignation bursting in air, they'll say "WILL THE GENTLEMAN YIELD?!?"
No, the gentleman will usually not yield, nor will the gentleman even flinch
or miss a beat. The other "gentleman" or "lady" will continue shouting his
or her request that the other person shut the hell up and listen to them
for awhile until the gavel is smacked onto the table, calling for order.
This is Washington DC, the home game. Thanks to C-SPAN, we are now
able to confirm our worst fears about the people we have chosen to represent
us in government. We are able to see how they behave on a day to day basis.
We watched with great amusement as Al Swift turned his back on a speaker and
folded his arms in anger because that person wouldn't yield. He was really
mad because that person was all for investigating the House bank scandal, a
notion that Al didn't think much of. We watched in horror as Bob Packwood
tried to snow-shovel the blame off of himself and onto anyone who happened
by. Time and time again, we see people try to tell the truth in committee
meetings, only to be silenced by dirty tricks ranging from filibuster-style
speeches to lines of questioning obviously designed to lead everyone off
the track. This is Washington DC, the soap opera, filled with enough evil
villians to satisfy even the most jaded Melrose Place fan.
One of the most disconcerting things about watching C-SPAN is that you
are forced to realize that these are the people running the country. You
want to believe that people with such a lofty responsibility will at least be
good and decent folk who possess excellent manners and have a great sense
of diplomacy. There it is... Diplomacy. That's what's missing from the
mix these days. In fact, there isn't even any courtesy left on The Hill.
When a speech is being made, unless it's about one of the high profile bills
that everyone wants a piece of, you'll hear so much talk going on in the
background that you'll barely be able to hear the speaker. Occasional
camera passes prove your ears correct. There they are, all over the House
or Senate, in little groups, talking and laughing and doing all sorts of
things, none of which will help them understand what the bill is about when
it comes time to vote on it. There is a person speaking on behalf of a
large group of people in this country, and nobody is paying attention.
Worse yet, they aren't even trying to keep their voices down. Occasional
requests by the Speaker that the "House be brought to order" have little or
no effect. The Speaker of the House bangs the gavel, orders everyone to
be silent, and within seconds, they're at it again. Hey, people, I don't
know about you, but in Kindergarten, we were sent to the corner for that
kind of behavior. What can we conclude from this observation? That the
average classroom full of 5 year olds are more mature and better behaved
than most of the people leading our country, for one thing.
To be fair, our leaders aren't the worst in the world at this kind of
thing. Anyone who watches British news knows this. Don't ask me why I
have watched so much British news, but I have, and I'm here to tell you
that they make our Senators and Reps seem downright civilized. It's not
unusual for members of Parliment to swear and scream at one another, and
sometimes it comes to fisticuffs. Now there's an interesting idea. C-SPAN
could enjoy a much larger audience if Teddy Kennedy and Bob Dole would just
mix it up once in a while. "The Vegas line says Dole will get that budget
amendment pushed through, but remember, Kennedy always has that dangerous
overhand right!" Then there's Canada. Boy, their representatives fight
en masse as if it was Stanley Cup time! Which brings up another good idea.
Wanna see a quick end to the next attempt to filibuster a worthwhile bill?
How about 2 minutes in the penalty box? With no talking, of course.
C-SPAN can give one a splitting headache, but it can educate in ways
that newsprint cannot. The fact is that not all Senators and Congresspersons
act this way. Several are trying to do what they were put there to do, and
it's not hard to pick them out of the crowd. It IS hard to hear them most
of the time, however, because somebody else is usually waffling out loud or
screaming for permission to rudely interrupt.
Here's what I propose. Put a tape in when you leave for work in the
morning. 6-hour mode. Record C-SPAN. When you get home, kick back and
scan through all the votes (which take a long time and are boring from our
perspective because nothing is happening on-screen). Watch the speeches.
Even if you aren't interested in what they're speaking on behalf of. Most
importantly, watch the way the others behave. Watch the committee meetings
and see how the chairperson handles things. Is he or she obviously
partisan? Is there some sabotage of testimony going on? Watch C-SPAN,
because it will help you figure out if the person you elected to represent
you is doing so, or if they can even be trusted to operate on The Hill.
A New York cable television company recently began a new policy whereby
all customers who are delinquent in their payments will not have their
cable shut off. Rather, the company pipes C-SPAN in on all 77 channels.
The new policy has, at last report, been a big success in getting people
to pay their bills, but there is going to be an interesting side effect.
New Yorkers will probably be the most informed voters in the nation come
election time. Used properly, C-SPAN is the ultimate voters' pamphlet.

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By The Platterpuss, Steve Marshall and DJ Johnson


* * * ALBUM OF THE MONTH * * *


GT STRINGER - SANDCRACK...The Soundtrack (Tremolo 10 Records - Email to
gby@ozemail.com.au or 448 Seaview Road, Henley Beach, Adelaide, South
Australia, 5022 Australia to order. $20 American will cover CD and
shipping/handling)

GT Stringer is a 4 piece instro band from Henley Beach, Adelaide,
South Australia. The lineup looks like this: Jimmy Redgate (guitar),
Trevor Ramsay (sax), Dennis Kipridis (bass) and Steve Hearne (drums).
I had never heard them before, so I had no preconceived notions save for
one. The cover is a photo of a car at the beach with four surfboards
strapped to the roof. Ah ha! Surf! Those of you who have read other
reviews by me probably know by now that I am the opposite of The Platterpuss
when it comes to instro-surf. I love the stuff.
My first audio related impression of GT Stringer was "hey, this isn't
surf..." It was, but it wasn't. They have more than one genre influencing
their sound, and while that often creates an indigestable train wreck of
noise, GT Stringer pulls it off. They do more than just pull it off, to
be honest. They... Okay, I promised myself I would stay calm here, but
I can't. This is, without question, my favorite recording since the
last Basement Brats record. Now I know it's apples and oranges, but I'm
just saying that this is the first recording I have listened to more than
once in a sitting since the Brats' last one. Clear? This music is smokey,
sultry, surfy and jazzy, and more than a little bluesy at the same time.
In Part 1 of The Great Surf Summit interview (see the October 1995 issue of
Cosmik Debris), the question was raised: What other directions can surf go
in? The Hillbilly Soul Surfers have shown what would have happened if Duck
Dunn and Steve Cropper had been beach bums, and Pollo Del Mar injects a bit
of fusion into the form. There are so many different directions being
pursued that one begins to think "there can't be more, can there?" Well,
as long as the musicians are very talented, there can.
These musicians are fantastic. The first track (on the first listen,
mind you) got my attention simply with tone. The parts themselves were
very simple (though the bass had some nasty stuff goin' on). As the tracks
move along, the outstanding skills of these players become obvious. Ramsay's
jazz inflected sax playing provides plenty of counterpoint to the surfier
overall feeling of the tracks, but when you throw in Redgate's beautifully
understated blues slide riffs, the result is indescribably intoxicating.
Thirteen songs are listed on the CD sleeve, but there are 14 on the
actual disc. I'd like to think I can tell the song by matching the title
to the feel of the instrumental, but I'm not that good. So I'll have to
avoid titles and just say the last two tracks are the most amazing. The
next to the last song is powerful and dramatic, and is more akin to modern
surf than most of the others. Hypnotic yet hectic, and more than a little
bit sensual. By the time that storm finally passes, you NEED the last tune,
which is slow and soft and dreamy and calming, like an after-sex cigarette.
I don't smoke, but I can relate. At the end of that final track...which I
will take a chance and call "Desert Daze," there's 5 minutes and change of
dead silence, then about 40 seconds of Jew's Harp and giggling. It's been
done before, but it's cool anyway, if you've never heard a Jew's Harp
played through heavy reverberation. Just a quick note, FYI, there is no
movie called Sandcrack. It's an imaginary movie in the minds of the players.
It DOES have a movie poster, though, should someone decide to MAKE a movie
called Sandcrack, and hey, why the hell not? On the back cover, there's
a photo of a man in swiming trunks, seen from the rear. The swim suit is
hangin' low, and there's a pound of sand in his butt crack. Yes, even
refrigerator repairmen take vacations. This is GT Stringer's first release,
and if they can find a large enough audience that appreciates the mix of
styles and influences, we all might be lucky enough to hear their second.
(DJ Johnson)


DAVIE ALLAN & THE ARROWS - Loud Loose & Savage (Iloki)

For those of you who may not know, Davie Allan is the man behind the
soundtracks for most of those cheesy A.I.P. Int'l biker flicks from the
mid to late 60's. Judging from this disc, which was recorded at various
points over the last 10 years, it would seem that he hasn't changed his
approach very much since then. Though I'm not a big fan of many of the
newer all-instrumental bands that have sprung up over the last couple of
years, Allan is enough of a master to keep my interest level up throughout
most of this 17-song set, despite the fact that some of his backing
musicians sound as if they'd be more comfortable playing in a heavy metal
band. If you're a fan of his or if you just want to hear some really
incredible guitar playing, this is well worth checking out.
(PO Box 49593, L.A. CA 90049) - (The Platterpuss)


BRACKET - 4-Wheel Vibe (Caroline)

Some of you may remember me raving madly about their debut disc a
while back, and now I'm happy to report that their second full-length
collection more than lives up to the promise of the first one. Similar in
sound and style to Green Day (although their first 45 was released long
before the mega-success of GD) what makes them stand out from the pack
is the fact that they do it better than just about anybody else. When I
first played the advance cassette about 6 months ago I was kinda
disappointed because it seemed that somehow the songs just didn't really
gel the way they should. But the more I listened, the more songs like
"Circus Act", "Tractor", "Green Apples" and "Trailer Park" grew on me.
Every time I play this I discover some little something new - be it a
clever phrase, an interesting chord change or whatever. I can't recommend
this highly enough. A true 10 out of 10.
(114 W. 26 St., New York NY 10001) - (The Platterpuss)


BUTTHOLE SURFERS - The Hole Truth...And Nothing Butt The Truth - (Trance)

This one's a lot of fun! If you're a Butthole completist (Put the
gun down, Mack, I ain't calling you names!) this is the "cool" release
to fill the collection, much like "Black Market Clash" was for Clash fans.
This was originally a bootleg, but the Butthole Surfers liked it quite a
bit and gave permission for it to be released legitimately. At least that's
what it says here on the little sticker on the jewel box.
The first two tracks are from their 1983 demos. Raw as hell and just
as powerful, they are excellent examples of un-produced BHS kick. The
rest of the CD, except for the final track, is a collection of performances
from clubs between 1985 and 1993. Some of their finest psychedelic moments
are captured here, as well as some of their rawest and most brutal punk.
Highlights include "Moving To Florida," The Beatles classic "Come Together,"
Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man," and "The Shah Sleeps In Lee Harvey's Grave."
The final track is a five and a half minute interview from WNYU radio,
circa 1987. They giggle a lot and offer suggestions for proper anal sex to
people like Ollie North. Not exactly high brow stuff, but fun, in a Jr.
High School kids snickering under your breath so the teacher don't catch ya
kind of way.
My favorite track is the 10 minute long "Psychedelic," but I must admit
I've only recently gotten into this band, and I haven't heard it all yet, or
even figured out what the definitive Butthole Surfers sound is. In other
words, it's possible that my favorite track is the worst example of BHS
music. Tough. I just know what I like. If "raw" is listed in your
requirements for better punk listening, this one has your name on it.
(DJ Johnson)


CHIXDIGGIT - Best Hung Carrot In The Fridge EP (Lance Rock)

With a record title and band name like these I was expecting some
really dumb and annoying macho crap but I couldn't have been more wrong
if I tried. What I got instead were 3 really nice slabs of Vacant Lot/
Bum type pop-on-hyperdrive with a rather interesting lyrical twist. In
fact, I'll go out on a limb here and say that "...Carrot" is a very likely
candidate for my Top 10 of the year. - The Platterpuss


JACKIE & THE CEDRICS - Scalping Party EP (Norton)

I've been fortunate enough to see this Japanese surf trio play live
on a number of occasions and, while instro surf music is mot my favorite,
these guys always play like there's no tomorrow, keeping the excitement
level way up. On their latest 3-songer they turn in a pair of super charged
guitar workouts plus a version of the old Don & Dewey classic "Justine"
that'll knock your socks off. Buy this or it's your loss. - The Platterpuss


THE JENNIFERS - Nine Days Wonder (You Say When)

It took me a few spins to really appreciate these 13 slabs of homegrown
pop rock but now that I do, what I once perceived as weaknesses are now
among their strengths. At first I found the production somewhat flat and
the singers voice kinda hoarse and a bit off key and while they both may
take a bit of getting used to, at this point I think that they just add to
the charm. In the end, what's important are the songs and it's songs like
"I Hear Angels, "You're My Star", "People Looking Up" and "Ritomello" that
keeps me coming back. So, while this might not be for everyone, if you
like good pop that's not afraid to deviate from what's expected, you might
wanna give this a shot.
(PO Box 4751, Baltimore MD 21094) - The Platterpuss


BRUCE JOYNER & THE UNKNOWNS - S/T (Marilyn)

I'd already written these guys off as second rate Cramps/Pamther Burns
imitators when some whim made me slip this into the CD player for one last
spin. Well, I'm glad I did 'cause while they may have taken much of their
inspiration from Lux and friends, there's enough fresh and vital, crazed and
demented Rock & Roll happenin' on this 24-song retrospective to satisfy
just about anyone. Joyner has a really interesting voice and on songs like
"She Never Says No" and the calypso-esque "Rat Race" he sounds almost like
a more schized out Roy Orbison. Most of the songs on here are flat out
rockers like "Rip Tide", "Pull My Train" and "Suzzanne" (which sounds like
it could be some long lost Buddy Holly track) but they do change the pace
every so often as on the moody and atmospheric "Common Man" and the poppy
"Modern Man" where he even does a little falsetto singing. I also can't
let this review go by without mentioning "Actions/Reactions" which has
a distintly mod/garage feel to it. All things considered, this is one
entertaining and varied slab o' energetic frenzifyin' R&R and it amazes
me that I could have passed it by the first time around.
(dist. by Bomp, PO Box 7112, Burbank CA 91510) The Platterpuss


LORD HIGH FIXERS - 7" single (Estrus Records)

I admit to being way behind the times, but I'm catching up, forming my
opinions and allegiances and getting ahold of a lot of great records in the
process. So this is my first Lord High Fixers record. I almost saw the
band at Garage Shock, just like I almost saw all the other bands at Garage
Shock...but didn't. Long, sad story. Had I seen them, I would have run
to the record shop first chance I got, because they remind me of one of the
greatest garage bands of all time,

  
Gravedigger V. The vocals on "Take Me
Home" are so intensely screamed I kept waiting for the guy's vocal chords
to give up the ghost. Didn't happen. For those of you familiar with
Gravedigger V, think of the vocals on "All Black And Hairy" and you're
close. The song itself is great garage. Very authentic. The flip,
"Things She Says," is a bludgeoning little number originally done by
The In Crowd. Every instrument is in your face like a Tyson right. Even
at low volume, you're risking eviction. There's hot, and then there is
HOT. That'll have to do until I think of a more descriptive word for Lord
High Fixers. And believe me, I'm working on it. (DJ Johnson)


MCA INTRODUCES NEW "HEAVY VINYL" SERIES

On October 24th, MCA debuted its latest effort in the audiophile
realm -- the new "Heavy Vinyl" series. Each title is remastered from the
original master tapes, without any noise reduction or bass roll-off.
Pressed on 180 grams of pure virgin vinyl, all of the titles in the series
are limited editions. The packaging on each title in the series is very
nicely done. The original artwork and liner notes are intact on all 5
titles, and in some cases, expanded upon. The pressings on all five albums
were excellent -- virtually no surface noise at all, and free of any
distortion.
The first title of the series to be reviewed is John Barry's Academy
Award winning score to the motion picture "Out of Africa". The orchestra
sounds very warm and resonant throughout the album. However, unless you're
a big fan of the movie itself, you'll be fighting to stay awake by the time
you get to the end of the album. "Out of Africa" is impressively recorded,
but there isn't enough happening at any given time to engage the listener.
Next up is the self-titled second album from rock and roll legend,
Buddy Holly. The sparse arrangements of the material on this album make it
a prime candidate for an audiophile pressing. The instruments are all
easily distinguishable from each other and very clear. Songs like the
classic "Peggy Sue" and the Fats Domino penned tune "Valley of Tears" never
sounded better. The new Heavy Vinyl version of "Buddy Holly" contains
additional liner notes as well.
Moving on to the third title in the series, we come to the classic
Buddy Guy album, "I Was Walking Through the Woods". Originally released
on the Chess label in 1970, "Woods" contains songs recorded live in the
studio as they happened and also a collection of singles and (at the time)
unreleased cuts. The channel separation on the classic "First Time I Met
the Blues" is stunning. Probably the best test of the quality of a Buddy
Guy recording is in the guitar sound and the vocal transients. The Heavy
Vinyl pressing passed with flying colors. Like "Buddy Holly", this album
also contains additional liner notes.
Dave Mason's solo debut, "Alone Together" is the next title in the
series. Containing the classic hit single "Only You Know and I Know", and
FM radio staples such as "Look at You, Look at Me" and "World in Changes",
the album remains Mason's greatest accomplishment. The dynamic range on the
1970 recording is outstanding. The sound quality on the album is markedly
improved over the original release. All of the instruments and vocals are
clear and very distinct.
Probably the most eagerly awaited title in the new Heavy Vinyl series
is The Who's 1971 release, "Who's Next". Who fans take note -- this is now
the definitive version of the album. The sound quality has never been
better. Even the superb Japanese pressing can't hold a candle to the Heavy
Vinyl version. The individual instruments and vocals can all be heard
clearly, even from a different room! Released in a gatefold cover (as are
all of the albums in the series so far), there are two new photos on the
inside.
The albums in MCA's new Heavy Vinyl series are manufactured using the
latest innovations in mastering technology, and are designed to take
advantage of high-end audiophile turntables and cartridges. As a result,
these albums are competitive with their compact disc counterparts in terms
of sound quality. All five titles have extremely high resolution,
spaciousness and clarity that is unmatched in any format. (Steve Marshall)


HARRY PERRY - Greatest Hits Of The Millennium - Surfdog Records, 520,
Washington Blvd, Suite 427, Venice Beach, CA 90290 (310-821-SURF)

Harry Perry is a well known local "character" at Venice Beach in
California. He's a rollerbladin' street musician, and a damned fine one
at that. He's been seen in a few movies too, including "The Gift," which
was made by Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction. This is the album that Harry
waited a decade to make. My first impression wasn't that it was awful, but
I wasn't really moved, either. On the second listen, I wondered how I could
have missed the song "How Soon Is Now" on the first listen. There is a
discordant guitar part that approximates the doppler effect, giving the
song a cool feeling of motion that's hard to miss. But I did, at least
the first time through. On the third listen, I noticed that "Nam Myoho
Renge Kyo" is a Bhuddist chant put to some fairly frantic rock and roll.
The point is that Harry Perry's album is the kind that grows on me.
"How Soon Is Now" is still my favorite track, but several of the others
are gaining. The best thing about Greatest Hits Of The Millennium is that
it defies categorization. Trying to nail Harry down to a particular style
is a waste of time. Instead, just clear your mind and enjoy the many kinds
of grooves he and the band generate. If you must have some clue, then
try to imagine punk, blues, rock, funk and soul all boiled in the same pot.
There are still places where this album does nothing for me, but the way
it's been going, I'll probably have to write a whole new review by the 10th
listen. - DJ Johnson


OSWALD FIVE-O - 5-song EP (Grinning Idiot)

This melodic punk trio has truly got it all. They write these incredibly
catchy songs with genuinely intelligent and sensitive lyrics and they've
got more than enough musical chops to really put the whole package over
in a big way. I can only think that the fact that they still record for
a relatively small indie label and haven't signed some kind of big money
record deal is their own choice. To that I can only say good for them.
(PO Box 10634, Eugene OR 97440) - The Platterpuss


PEZBAND - File Under: Pop Vocal EP (Notlame)

Recorded in 1974, these are the first known recordings made by this
seminal Chicago power pop outfit and, while these songs may be more than
20 years old and definitely pre-punk, they still sound fresh and vital
today. If you're a fan of bands like The Shoes or Material Issue, you
definitely ought to check out one of the places where it all started, not
just for a history lesson but also for some damn fine pop music.
(PO Box 9828, Aspen CO 81612) - The Platterpuss


PLUTO - Cool Way To Feel (Mint)

Does anyone out there in Rock-n-Roll land remember a band from the
mid-70's called Artful Dodger? 'Cause that's who Pluto sorta remind me
of. These 13 catchy, hook-laden slabs of teenage angst and hormones all
have that same kind of pre-punk hard rock/pop sensibility that's half
"Who's Next" and half "Meet The Beatles". While they may be as un-trendy
as can be, you can bet that songs like "Thirsty", "Expelled", "#17",
the title track and the ultra-lovely "Locked & Loaded" will be remembered
by the lucky few who manage to score one of these babies long after the
latest Spin magazine and MTV media darlings are not even faded where-are-
they-now's. If you're looking for some timeless Rock & Roll that's well
writen, well sung and well played to sink your teeth into, you've come to
the right place. - The Platterpuss


PUSSY CRUSH - Tormenting The Emotionally Frail (La-Di-Da America)

This reminds me of the first Blondie album, before they became
new wave hitmakers, when Debbie Harry and the band were spitting out
venomous punk classics like "Rip Her To Shreds". Lead singer Kags sounds
remarkably like DH and on songs like "I Wanna Kill You", "Beat Your Heart
Out" and "Witch Bitch" she and the band display the same combination of
spiteful anger and poppy hooks that made Harry & Co's first record such
a classic. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and while I'm sure
I don't want to get in her way, I'll certainly enjoy listening to these
16 slices of melodic bile in the comfort and safety of my living room.
(PO Box 202, Peter Stuyvesant Sta, NYC NY 10009-9998) - The Platterpuss


THE ROOKS/TWENTY CENT CRUSH - A Double Dose of Pop (Not Lame)

This is actually more like 2 mini-discs as The Rooks have the first 9
songs and Twenty Cent Crush have the last 8. As far as I can tell, there
is no other connection between the 2 bands. Actually, while I'm not sure
if it was done intentionally, putting both of these bands together on one
disc was a rather good idea as their styles nicely balance each other out.
For the most part The Rooks play introspective, kinda melancholy type pop
that reminds me a lot of bands like Badfinger while Twenty Cent Crush
are more lighthearted and upbeat. I can't really say who I like better
because I really like them both, if for different reasons. What I can say
is that they both feature some really incredible songwriting and the vocal
and instrumental chops to put those songs over. If you're a lover of pure
pop music, I can't recommend this highly enough.
(PO Box 9828, Aspen CO 81612) The Platterpuss


SCRATCH BONGOWAX - S/T (1+2/Barn Homes)

Fans of NY Dolls/Heartbreakers type trashy punk & roll oughta go for
this in a big big way. Here are 23 slabs of loud, fast and stupid that
definitely put the fun fun fun back in Rock & Roll. Check out some of
some of these songs with titles like "Surfin' Turd", "Aargh", "Girls That
Put Out" and "My Brain Is Fried" and it doesn't take a lot of grey matter
to see that these guys certainly don't take themselves too seriously. If
you're looking for a whole lotta party-time rockin' & rollin' without a
hint of sicial relevance, you've come to the right place. Order thru Get
Hip - The Platterpuss


SICKO - Laugh While You Can Monkey Boy (Empty)

"Laugh" is their second full-lentgth release and fans of their melodic
yet sarcastic and super snotty style of punk rock will certainly not be
disappointed. If you haven't heard these guys yet but dig bands like The
Queers and Screeching Weasel I know you're just gonna love this. There
are 12 songs on here (though a few of 'em barely top the 1-minute mark)
and I just love each and every one. Kurt Bloch is the producer, so you
know that every song is guaranteed to absolutely jump out of your speakers
and get you pogoing just like you did back in '77 (or was that '87?).
Either way you just gotta get it. - The Platterpuss


THE STATICS - Pinball Junkies 10" EP (Estrus Records - PO BOX 2125
Bellingham, WA, 98227)

Lo-fi garage that sounds just as if it were badly recorded in the 60's.
I've been told that this record doesn't do them justice and that the real
charm of The Statics is the energy of their live shows. Okay, I'll buy
that. And I even think I might be picking up on some of that energy by
the third song, "The Roxbury Lanes," because I just caught my foot thumping
the ground. So I turn it over and it gets better. "The Radio Song" is so
sloppy it starts to be fun, and the lyric, "I hate that song on the radio!
I hate that band, it's got to go!," makes me think about what the rebellion
is all about in the first place. Side two makes me want to hear side one
again to see if I just "didn't get it" the first time through. Hey! I
was right! Pinball Junkies is sloppy, careless and cool. Now I have to
see them live to find out what they actually sound like when not recorded
in a tin storage shed on a Realistic portable cassette deck. (DJ Johnson)


TEARS FOR FEARS -- Raoul and the Kings of Spain (Epic)

Originally slated for release in July, Tears For Fears leader Roland
Orzabal took advantage of an option in his contract with Mercury and moved
the new CD, "Raoul and the Kings of Spain" to Epic/Sony Music. The label
change prompted the addition of two new songs -- "Humdrum and Humble" and
"I Choose You". Co-written & co-produced by Orzabal, the new CD is their
best since 1989's "The Seeds of Love".
The new CD is the second release since the well-publicized split with
original member Curt Smith. Several of the tracks were written and
performed live on the band's last tour. Orzabal said "Raoul" was "a very
easy album to make" and that they were able to lay down tracks "after just
three or four takes".
"Raoul" offers plenty to keep the listener's interest. "Sketches of
Pain' (the title being a twist on Miles Davis' "Sketches of Spain"), with
its flourishes of flamenco guitar, is one of the many highlights on the CD.
From "Falling Down" (which sounds remarkably like "What Goes Up" from The
Alan Parsons Project's "Pyramid" album), to the raucous "Don't Drink the
Water", this is a CD that gets better with each listen.
Another high point on the CD is the return of Oleta Adams, who
contributes vocals on "Me and My Big Ideas". Originally discovered by
Orzabal in a Kansas City nightclub during the recording of "The Seeds of
Love", Adams' soulful vocals were sorely missing from the band's last
album, "Elemental". Hopefully, she'll be able to tour with the band in
support of the new CD. She adds an incredible warmth to the band's music.
"Raoul and the Kings of Spain" is a fine effort, one of the best from
the band. If this CD is any indication of things to come, we can look
forward to a long and fruitful musical career from Orzabal and Tears For
Fears. (Steve Marshall)


TRAILER PARK CASANOVAS - Ace Of Spades/Rounder (Behemoth)

The A-side of this little snacky doodle is a country rock version
of the old Motorhead nugget that works much better than you might think
and is definitely more than the one-play novelty that I was expecting.
The flip is an instrumental in a similar style that, while not quite as
interesting, shows that these guys can really play. I hope that this is
not just a one-shot and that they're in it for the long haul 'cause
judging by what I've heard so far, I'm really looking forward to hearing
more.
(PO Box 27801, Las Vegas NV 89126-1801) - The Platterpuss


THE USHER BOYS - Snap Crackle Bop! (Kraklund)

Those of you who've been reading this zine for the last few years
are already aware of the fantastic underground punk rock scene going on
over in Finland where The Ramones are worshipped as deities. The Usher
Boys have been part of that scene for awhile and finally, after a handful
of stellar singles, have made their digital debut with this mini disc.
While all 8 songs are absolute punk rock heaven - perfect combinations
of sweet, tasty hooks and head boppin' fast and faster tempos, a few cuts
such as "Permanent Hard-On", "One 'n' Only" and, especially, the title
track really stand out as being A-1 stone classics. If these guys were
from the U.S., fans of bands like The Queers and Screeching Weasel would
be falling all over themselves to get a copy of this.
(PL 459, 65101 Vaasa, FINLAND) The Platterpuss


THE USHER BOYS - Dead Girls (Don't Say No)/Forget All About You (Diesel)

All of the nice things I said about their CD (also reviewed this issue)
go just as much for these 2 sides of 4-on-the-floor melodic punk. Fans
of bands like The Queers, The Vacant Lot or Screeching Weasel should do
whatever they must to score themselves a copy of this supremely fine
hunk o'plastic.
(Hameentie 4 A 2, 00530 Helsinki, FINLAND) - The Platterpuss


VARIOUS ARTISTS -- In From the Storm (RCA Victor) (A Jimi Hendrix tribute CD)

In commemoration of the 25th anniversary of the legendary guitarist's
death, Jimi Hendrix is the latest artist to be honored in a long line of
tribute CDs. Boasting a wide variety of musicians, backed on most cuts by
the London Metropolitan Orchestra, "In From the Storm" is better than the
majority of the tribute CDs. Produced and engineered by original Hendrix
studio veteran, Eddie Kramer, the recording sounds warm & vibrant.
Members of Hendrix's bands, The Jimi Hendrix Experience and Band of
Gypsies, along with almost two dozen other artists from across the musical
spectrum make up the list of musicians on the CD. Most of the songs work
quite well, and as would be expected on a collection like this, some do not.
Highlights on "In From the Storm" include Carlos Santana & Sass Jordan's
take on "Spanish Castle Magic", and "Rainy Day, Dream Away" with vocals by
Taj Mahal & blistering lead guitar work by Robben Ford. The dynamic range
and clarity of the recording is breathtaking, especially on the latter song.
Jazz great John McLaughlin contributes some incredible lead flourishes to
Sting's rendition of "The Wind Cries Mary". The CD also features an
interesting new arrangement of "Bold as Love" with Paul Rodgers and Steve
Vai.
The low points on the CD are few and far between. Toots Thielemans'
version of "Little Wing" transforms the song into something almost
unrecognizable. The dance/funk version of "Purple Haze" also leaves a lot
to be desired. Aside from those two songs, the others are all covered
respectably.
The packaging on "In From the Storm" is quite nice. There are plenty
of photos from the recording sessions, plus full musician credits on each
track. Judging by prior orchestral tribute CDs, I looked at this one with
some apprehension. The results this time, however, are much better than
the rest. Definitely worth picking up. (Steve Marshall)


VARIOUS ARTISTS - Oh Canaduh! (Lance Rock)

Here is a collection of covers of songs by old Canadian punk bands
such as The Viletones, The Subhumans, Teenage Head, Pointed Sticks, The
Modernettes, D.O.A. and others by a bunch of the top punk bands of today,
Canadian and otherwise such as Teengenerate, Bum, The Young Fresh Fellows,
The Fastbacks, The Smugglers, Supersnazz etc. etc. I'm not really familiar
with the original versions of these songs so I can only judge this as
I would any other new album but for the most part, it rates a big thumbs
up. "Top Down" by Teengenerate is one of the best things that they've ever
done, partly because for once it doesn't sound like they recorded in a
bathroom using a Walkman but also 'cause they picked a great tune. Ditto
The Smugglers for their great take on Pointed Sticks' (when is someone
gonna do a much needed retrospective of this totally amazing power pop
band from the late 70s?) "What Do You Want Me To Do" and The Fastbacks'
version of "Won't Have To Worry". The Young Fresh Fellows kick in with a
song called "Disco Sucks" by DOA and while I can appreciate the sentiment,
especially considering when this song was originally written and recorded,
hearing it done today makes it sound like little more than kitchy camp.
In a similar vein, but somehow more successful, is "I Hate Music" by The
Tonics - a band I've never heard before but hope to hear lots more from
in the future. If you're into punk or are a fan of any of the above
bands, past or present, you won't be disappointed with this.
(1223 College Dr., Nanaimo BC, V9R-5Z5, CANADA) - The Platterpuss


VARIOUS ARTISTS - Yellow Pills Vol. 3 (Big Deal)

The release of the third volume of this definitive pop compilation
series comes as welcome news to anyone who's heard either of the first
two. Indeed, as much as I loved numbers one and two, this might actually
be the strongest and most consistent collection yet. Like the others,
it features contributions from some old favorites such as Material Issue,
Gigolo Aunts, Paul Collins' Beat, The Scruffs and The Blow Pops as well
as from relative unknowns and newcomers to the scene. Personal favorites ,
include "Do What You're Doing" by The Michael Guthrie Band, a bouncy
slice of pop magic with double tracked vocals that sounds as if it could
have been an outake from "Beatles 65", The Finns' "Sky Vue" an exhuberant
paean to hangin' out and havin' fun with your friends that'll definitely
appeal to the eternal teenager in all of us, The Paul Collins' Beat' s
"I've Always Got You On My Mind", also pretty upbeat but with an
undercurrent of melancholy like so much classic pop music thougout the
ages, "Skidmarks" by Wonderboy which makes me think of The Raspberries
at their most rockin' best and "Time Will Tell On You" by The Rock Club
with those classically vulnerable vocals and shimmering, chiming guitars.
In addition, tracks by The Greenberry Woods, Scott McCarl, Her Majesty's
Buzz, The Scruffs, Martin Luther Lennon and Material Issue make this an
essential addition to any pop music lover's collection.
(PO Box 2072, Peter Stuyvesant Station, NYC NY 10009) - The Platterpuss


VOODOO GLOW SKULLS BAND - 7" single (Dr. Strange Records - PO BOX 7000-117
Alta Loma, CA, 91701)

Okay, ska isn't usually my thing, even though I KINDA like The Mighty
Mighty Bosstones. I'm crazy about reggae, but ska usually bugs me for some
reason. Side one of this record, "Land Of Misfit Toys," is damned good ska.
Frank Voodoo and his cohorts approach it with tongue in cheek, and I can
appreciate that. Side two, a cover of the Coasters' classic, "Charlie
Brown," is the best part of this record, though. The humor comes through
again (not like you COULD do a straight version of Charlie Brown). The
verses are delivered in a fast punk style, and they throw in a very strange
half-speed ska break which, once you've caught your balance, seems just
right. The band is tight, and hey, they have a freakin' HORN SECTION!
Been a long while since I heard a horn section kicking it out in a speed
punk song. Oh, I gotta mention this. Inside the sleeve, you'll find an
insert with the lyrics to "Land Of Misfit Toys." Under that, the title
"Charlie Brown" is followed by "Ask your fucking parents what the words
are!" You only need to know the line that everyone remembers..."Why is
everybody always pickin' on me?" Cool song to cover. (DJ Johnson)


THE WHO -- Who's Next (MCA Ultimate MasterDisc)

Considered by many to be the band's finest work, "Who's Next" has been
given the 24-karat gold treatment by MCA. Remastered from the original
two-track analog masters, the CD sounds considerably better than the
original pressing. There is no hiss at all, and the output level on the
disc is much higher. The packaging, however, is nothing spectacular. No
new pictures, lyrics or any other additional information. Instead, we get
a list of the other gold discs available on MCA.
Comparing it to the German Polydor CD brings out a few interesting
observations. While the Polydor version has noticeable tape hiss, the sound
is much crisper than the gold MCA version. The instruments and vocals are
clearer and more distinct as well. Unless you're a Who collector that has
to have every CD ever released by the band, wait for the new expanded
version. (Steve Marshall)


FRANK ZAPPA - Various re-releases (Rykodisc)

This spring, Rykodisc reissued the entire Zappa catalog (sans 200
Motels) -- now available with the "FZ approved masters". Most of the
reissues have been quite impressive. However, others have not fared as
well. Starting with the classic "Apostrophe(')" album, this review will
briefly describe seven of the new CDs.

APOSTROPHE(') --

The sound on this CD is incredible. The instruments and vocals are all
very well defined. For the first time, the "Wooooh" at the beginning of
"Uncle Remus" is clear and not distorted at all. Also for the first time,
the lyrics are included (previously only available with the vinyl version
in "The Old Masters Box Three"). The only bad thing about the new
"Apostrophe(')" is that the CD is too short. Previously a 2-for-1 title
with "Overnight Sensation", Ryko has decided now to make us buy both titles
individually. Still, it's a great CD and the sound is better than ever.

STUDIO TAN / SLEEP DIRT --

These two albums were originally intended to be part of the Lather box
set. Caught in the legal battle that Zappa had with Warner Brothers, they
ended up being released individually to fulfill his contractual obligation.
Both Ryko CDs sound better than the original Discreet albums, and feature
new artwork by Gary Panter under the CD trays. The "Sleep Dirt" CD has new
drum overdubs by Chad Wackerman on three songs. Unfortunately, it also has
noticeable tape hiss as well.

SHEIK YERBOUTI --

Considered by many to be Zappa's finest album, the sound quality on
the Ryko CD is much warmer than the shallow-sounding UK EMI version. The
bass is deeper and much more resonant. The bad thing is that Ryko cut 1:16
from the end of "I'm So Cute". True -- the ending of the song gets annoying.
However, there was plenty of room to include "Sheik Yerbouti" in its
entirety. While the new Ryko CD sounds very good, neither it nor the EMI
version sound as good as the original Zappa Records vinyl release.

TINSELTOWN REBELLION --

Originally released on Zappa's Barking Pumpkin label, "Tinseltown
Rebellion" was the result of segments of various live shows recorded on the
Crush All Boxes tour in 1980. Once again, Ryko has edited the endings on
two songs. In this case though, it was just the applause at the end of the
side of the albums. The sound on the CD is excellent, as is the dynamic
range. The CD includes some great renditions of several older FZ songs,
such as "Brown Shoes Don't Make It", "Peaches En Regalia" (titled "Peaches
III" on this CD), "Tell Me You Love Me" and several others.

FRANK ZAPPA MEETS THE MOTHERS OF PREVENTION --

Largely an instrumental album, this CD was Zappa's first recorded
effort featuring the synclavier. "FZ Meets the MOP" includes Zappa's homage
to some of the musicians who have died over the years, "We're Turning
Again". It also features the original instrumental version of "What's New
in Baltimore", and "I Don't Even Care" from the import album (one of three
bonus tracks previously unavailable on the US vinyl). The vocals on "I Don't
Even Care" are very clear and distinct.

DOES HUMOR BELONG IN MUSIC? --
Previously only available in Europe, "Humor" consists of live
performances from the 1984 tour. Featuring all new artwork, the CD includes
some great new songs, like "Hot Plate Heaven at the Green Hotel" and "Let's
Move to Cleveland" (originally known as "Kreegah Bondolo"). Rather than
edit performances on this CD, Ryko gives us an additional minute of Chad
Wackerman's drum solo on "Cleveland". The CD has been remixed for the new
Ryko release, and the sound is markedly better. The instruments and voices
are all much more defined, and the low-end (which was virtually non-existent
before) has been restored. Also on this CD is a blistering version of
"Whippin' Post", with a special on-stage appearance by Dweezil -- the only
concert in which he performed publicly with his father.

These are just a few of the over fifty Zappa CDs reissued by Rykodisc
this year. Some of them don't quite live up to expectations, but the
majority of them are greatly improved over the originals. (Steve Marshall)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE OLD MAN RADIO HOUR INTERVIEWS - Summer Lovin' with The Vandals
by The Old Man

I'm sitting here, in the shadows of the busy Buffalo International
Airport, on a sand volleyball court in beautiful Cheektowaga, NY. With
me are two members of The Vandals. Warren Fitzgerald, guitarist, backup
vocals, and even sometimes lead vocalist, and Joe Escalante, bass player.
As we sit here, enjoying the waning days of summertime sun, we have a
casual conversation that leads us through the absurd, the not so absurd,
and back again.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

T.O.M.: Where are you guys from?

Warren: I live in Huntington Beach, California.

Joe: I live in Hollywood, but I'm from Orange County.

Warren: Where they make movies.

T.O.M.: Being from Huntington Beach, there's a lot going down there. That's
Guttermouth territory, the Voodoo Glow Skulls are down that way.

Warren: The Voodoo Glow Skulls are from Riverside. That's an hour and
one-half from there inland.

Joe: They're from the Inland Empire. That's the place that actually has a
lot happening.

Warren: It's its own scene. It's only about an hour or so away from Orange
County. Huntington Beach is cool, it's where it's happening.

T.O.M.: You guys have been together for about 4 CD's?

Joe: It's the sixth, but one of those is a live album and one is an EP.

T.O.M.: You have two new members or reasonably new members. How long have
they been in? I remember a guy Jensen and...

Joe: He hasn't been in the band for eleven years.

T.O.M.: Jesus, that long! When you get as old as me, a couple of years here
and a couple of years there don't make a lot of difference.

Joe: He was only in the band about two years and he was the fourth singer.

T.O.M.: Did you break up for awhile and get back together?

Joe: Never have broken up. If we broke up, there would be no reason to get
back together. There's no reason for us to be together, so it's not possible
that we would've broken up.

T.O.M.: It looks like maybe a little bit of age difference between you two
guys, what's the span on it?

Warren: I'm 26.

Joe: I'm 32.

T.O.M.: That's not too bad.

Joe: Brooks is 18 and he's in the band.

Warren: He's the newest kid.

T.O.M.: So there's 5 people in the band now?

Joe: 4.

T.O.M.: So who's gone?

Warren: Brooks is playing drums now.

Joe: Josh is on hiatus.

T.O.M.: So Josh took a break from it. hmmmm. Brooks was on the insert to
the new record, right?

Warren and Joe: Yes.

T.O.M.: I go and listen to you guys, and believe me, I listen to you a lot.
I spend a lot of time listening to Sweatin to the Oldies, because it's such
a hysterical record. The first time I listened to that record, I was driving
down the road, laughing my ass off. I actually had to pull off to the side
of the road.

Warren: That's the whole idea. We're hoping that people get in car crashes
listening to it.

T.O.M.: One thing I sort of noticed in that record, but I'm a little bit
deaf from too many concerts, is that it sounded like maybe the attitude of
the crowd changed a little bit during that show?

Warren: I Don't know. Should we tell him our secret?

Joe: Yeah.

Warren: OK, here's what we did, cause I produced that record. At the show,
they had two audience mics, left and right. There's about a thousand people
at the show, but they weren't picking anyone up. You could only hear the
people right in front of the microphones and then you'd hear one person
going "Fuck you, fuck you," and that was it. So when I was in the studio
mixing, I looked through a cd sound effects collection, found some good
boos, and put them on there. They added a nice ambiance to the whole show.
People usually put applause or courteous applause for their live albums,
but we decided to spice it up with a little bit of bad attitude.

Joe: It was from a professional wrestling match.

Warren: Yeah, professional wrestling sound effects. We looped it and brought
it in and out throughout the album.

T.O.M.: (laughing) That's awesome. I'm sitting there listening and it's New
Year's eve in Orange County and I've never spent any time there, but I
always think of it as Richard Nixon territory.

Warren: Oh yes, it is. It definately added a scary element to it. The thing
that you can't really capture if you've only got two people coming through
on the microphones.

T.O.M.: Do you guys still carry Tootsie Rolls around in your pockets?

Joe: Warren does.

Warren: We're still on the rampage, molesting girls every chance we get.
Only in a concentual way, cause they're a lot of perverts out there that
will step up to bat.

T.O.M.: So you have had some success out of this?

Warren: Oh, absolutely. It's all in good fun, just spreading love.

Joe: Kind of a love thing, Yeah.

T.O.M.: You don't wear baggy pants, so I imagine the girls going in there
grabbing for Tootsie Rolls....

Warren: I don't wear underwear either. Actually I don't have any Tootsie
Rolls to be perfectly honest. (laughing)

Joe: And there's no pockets. (more laughter)

Warren: You do the math.

T.O.M.: (laughing) The new record is quite extensive and keeps up with some
of the tradition. It makes light of alot of things. A little into politics
and everything else...

Warren: Well, we're all connoisseurs of punk rock. We've listened to it
forever and we have different sorts of styles of punk rock that we enjoy.
There's a lot of things to make fun of and we definately don't limit
ourselves when it comes to that.

T.O.M.: You guys went on Nitro for this record and honestly before picking
up Guttermouth's Friendly People record, I didn't know there was such a
thing.

Joe: That was their first release. There's only two bands on the label,
Guttermouth and The Vandals, but he's releasing the very first Offspring
album record in October.

Warren: Their catalog's growing.

Joe: Yeah. It's Brian from the Offspring. He makes a lot of money and he puts
it back into punk rock.

T.O.M.: And that's what it's all about. This is my third cycle through punk,
the ups and downs, and it seems that we're heading down the same path that
we've headed down the other times. Everybody is dissing everybody else and
saying what's punk and what's not punk...

Warren: Yeah, well you know, we've all been doing this for a long time and we
don't have any lofty ambitions of being rock stars or anything like that.
We just kind of do what we do, and it really hasn't changed that much.

Joe: Yeah, it's a good time to do it.

Warren: Exactly. Right now more people are listening to punk, but that
really doesn't affect what we are doing in any direct way.

T.O.M.: Any animosities?

Warren: You mean towards successful bands?

T.O.M.: Yeah.

Warren: No, I think it's great.

Joe: Much better. People are going to buy a certain amount of records every
year, and I'd rather them give their money to Green Day and the Offspring,
rather than White Tiger and Blind Melon. Not the Blind Melon we're playing
at.

Warren: Or rap, Motley Crew, or all the other heavy metal crap that was so
prominent for so long, or the Human League, or something like that.

Joe: White Lion, that was who I was trying to think of.

Warren: Yeah, White Lion and White Tiger and Zebra.

Joe: Any band that's named after animal.

Warren: Any band with white and an animal following it deserves death.

T.O.M.: I guess I figure that someone who listens to Green Day wouldn't
listen to, say, Naked Aggression anyhow, so it's not really taking into what
Naked Aggression might sell, although people may get turned on enough
listening to a Green Day...

Joe: Yeah, they may get turned on to Green Day and maybe Naked Aggression
might be not their next album, but four or five albums down the way. You
know, pick up the Naked Aggression 10".

Warren: There's all sorts of people. People who like punk rock like it for
the attitude. The reasons that they are going to like it are usually going
to be that they have a lot in common. So if they're gonna like Green Day,
with that kind of attitude, it's OK. They might not get a chance to
discover some of the other bands if they didn't get to hear those bands
first. You never know.

T.O.M.: (We took a momentary break to talk about cops.) I don't know what
it is like out in the west. You have places like Gilman and other places
that have been open forever, but kids are trying to do things here. It's
kind of neat and it's kind of dynamic, but the cops seem to be hell bent
on harrassing and doing everything possible to shut them down. You guys
have any of that?

Warren: It's everywhere.

Joe: A club lasts only so long, until people figure a way how to shut it
down. That's part of the fun.

Warren: Yeah, it makes it more of an adventure.

T.O.M.: It's sort of depressing to me. That's because in this day and age
you want people to think and you want people to do, as they're are tons of
people that aren't doing shit and they don't think about anything, and
here's some kids 18, 19, 20, whatever their age happens to be, and they're
out there doing something. They're taking other kids off the street...

Joe: Yeah, but I gave up worrying about that ten years ago. It's part of the
game of punk rock. You want to play at a place, you don't want to be the
first band to play there, but if you're not the second or third, it'll be
gone by the time you play there.

Warren: If you put some effort into it and are responsible about it, you
probably figure out a way to keep things going. It just depends on where
you are and how much effort you want to put into it. There's been a lot
of places that have been consistant for years and years and years. It's
just getting it together I guess.

T.O.M.: You guys have been around a long time in the scene, and have never
left the scene, so what do you see about this go around that you like and
don't like, and how is it dynamically when compared to the earlier days?

Joe: Kids want to hear new, good punk rock. So anyone that can come out and
make new, good punk rock is going to succeed and anyone like Fear or the
Circle Jerks who are relying on their old hits are going to choke. I think
that's the way it should be. Fear, the Circle Jerks, and anyone like them
have as much talent as any other kid coming off the street, who are writing
new punk rock, but if they're not in touch with what's happening or if
they're lazy, they're only going to succeed to the level of the work they
put into it. It's a much better situation because everyone has an equal
chance, because if everyone was just into old punk, then new kids wouldn't
have a chance. They'd say I wasn't around back then, I have no hope, but
now every band that opened for us on this tour could be the next band that
we beg to go on tour with next year. Or, our next album could be embraced,
as much as anyone elses new album, because we're writing new songs that we
think are good.

T.O.M.: So how long has this tour been going on?

Joe: Two and a half weeks?

Warren: Yeah, it's a month long tour altogether.

T.O.M.: Any special bands that you've played with along the way?

Warren: Yeah, the Pee Tanks were good.

Joe: They're from Annapolis, Maryland. Suicide Machine, from Detroit (They
used to be Jack Kevorkian and the Suicide Machine, but trimmed the name to
avoid any potential legal problems).

Warren: There's a lot of good bands.

Joe: Spots Around the Ear from Atlanta were good.

Warren: It's just kids having fun, doing kind of the same thing that was
going on years and years ago, but now they're old enough to have equipment,
write songs, and play at shows. It's cool.

T.O.M.: Now, has Strung Out been going with you on the entire tour?

Joe: Yeah, Yeah.

T.O.M.: Did Stormy put the tour together?

Joe: We did actually. We wanted to go on tour and we wanted to bring a good
band from California that we like and Strung Out was one of the bands we
liked the most, that we play with a lot out there. Stormy is booking for
them now, but she wasn't before.

T.O.M.: That's good...

Joe: Warren's going to produce their next album.

Warren: There's talk of it, yeah.

Joe: Oh, just talk of it?! There's a lot of talk about it. Oh Yeah, they
have another friend.

Warren: It's not that.

T.O.M.: Strung Out's last album was the only album I know about, and it came
out last year, didn't it?

Warren: Yeah, they're getting ready to go into the studio in November. Not
too long after we get back.

T.O.M.: Your new record has been out, what, 2-3 months now?

Warren: Since May.

Joe: The way they work albums now, it's like Guttermouth's album, a year
after it was out, was selling more then it did when it was released.
Especially with a new label, lining up distributors, after a year if
finally starts to sell.

T.O.M.: Plus they started touring. I think they opened up for the Offspring,
at least on part of their tour.

Joe: Yes, they did. And NoFX and Face to Face.

T.O.M.: I probably shouldn't say it, but a lot of people that went to the
show in Cleveland, said that Guttermouth just blew the Offspring off the
stage.

Joe: They have a very good live show.

Warren: Yeah, they have a very good live show and they've been in it for
the long run, and the record sales have been trickling and getting better
and better. That's cool.

T.O.M.: Have you guys gone to Europe?

Joe: We've gone to Europe, but we're due to go back. In fact, everyone
keeps asking us to go back. So. It's really easy for a California punk band
to do really well over there. It's just a question of when we have time. We
might go with NoFX in May.

T.O.M.: How do you see the scenes being different between here and there?
It seems like they have bigger crowds, more enthusiatic.

Joe: Bigger more enthusiastic crowds, that's exactly what it is.

T.O.M.: Do you play squats over there?

Joe: Yeah, we play wherever. Squats, plush hotels...No.

T.O.M.: Yeah, I thought I saw you guys as a Frank Sinatra cover band or
lounge lizard acts.

Joe: Disneyland Retro Punk Days (laughing).

T.O.M.: My mind keeps going back to Huntington Beach and the dynamics.

Joe: It's not all that happening with new bands, but there's a lot of
established bands, lots of history, but the new bands are coming out of
Inland Empire, it's kind of what Orange County used to be. There's a lot
of better bands there.

Warren: What's wierd is that a lot of the really good bands come from
really obscure areas, like from not real happening scenes. They come
from nowhere towns. They work that much harder and put that much more
into it, yet have so much going against them. They are really, really
cool, cause they're not tainted by the trendy elements. They just kind
of do their own thing.

T.O.M.: I go to a lot of shows and there's a lot of great bands out there.
It's absolutely amazing. They happen to be in smaller towns and they don't
have the band that's already hit it. In the bigger places you those bands
that let others go in on their coat tails. They help nuture bands and help
other ones get going. It's a heck of alot tougher coming from a really small
place where it can only hold one or two bands...

Joe: Right, right. In LA, it's about like Bad Religion helping all the
bands that they helped. Epitaph and Fat, NoFX helping all those bands and
Dexter's helping a lot of bands, and we're going to do the same thing,
start helping some other bands and recording some other bands too, in order
to help them get out of where ever they are.

Warren: Exactly. Help to spread the word.

T.O.M.: The tough thing is that people go practice a lot, try to set up
shows, but they don't have the experience in doing that. If there isn't
someone experienced around to help them, they get frustrated and quit.
Who knows what you've lost along the way.

Joe: Some people don't quit that should have quit years ago.

T.O.M.: Do you ever think about that?

Joe: Quitting?

T.O.M.: Yeah.

Joe: I always think about that, but then someone always calls up and says
come on play this or got a couple songs, lets put a record together. Then
we always do it, cause its fun.

T.O.M.: How come no songs about Pete Wilson yet?

Joe: He's invisable to me. He doesn't even register.

Warren: He's just like ah..what could you say about him, that hasn't been
said. He's such an easy target, it couldn't be fair. We like to challenge
ourselves. (laughing)

T.O.M.: That guy's like a whole album full of material right there.

Joe: It's sad. It's an embarrassment. I don't want to draw attention to
him (jet noise obscures the remainder of the answer).

T.O.M.: Does that mean you like Pat Brown better than Pete Wilson?

Joe: We weren't around when he was governor. Our songs not about him, it's
about a friend of ours named Pat Brown.

T.O.M.: Well, just proved my ignorance level once more.

Warren: I like that angle though, we should start saying that it's about him.

T.O.M.: (laughing) You do touch upon politics, you sort of skirt it, and
you poke fun at it. Do you pay much attention to it and what's going on?

Joe: I watch CNN and Crossfire everyday, so I know what's going on. Oh, and
David Brinkley.

Warren: I find it kind of interesting, but we're certainly not a political
band, like our whole motivation is to give our feelings about any political
kind of thing.

Joe: Our fans are 15 or 16, so I don't think it's fair to force it upon
them. I could mold them into nazis or communists with a couple of good
songs and that's not fair. They don't deserve that, they need to find out
on their own.

T.O.M.: I'm sure that no one would think that of you guys, with
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and, probably one of my favorite cover
songs of all time, Summer Lovin'.

Warren: Absolutely. That's a more accurate presentation than anything.
We're not trying to cram anything down anyones throat. I've seen to many
other bands do it. It's kind of a drag. You go to a concert and you want
to have some fun. You don't want to think! (smile)

Joe: Right, and you just set up some whole boundaries for your whole
behavior everywhere you go.

T.O.M.: So who do you guys hang out with?

Warren: You mean bands and stuff?

Joe: Hollywood celebrities. No. (laugh)

T.O.M.: So you're part of the Jane Fonda set. You go out to the ranch and
stuff (laugh).

Joe: Nope, we haven't been invited down there yet. We have with NoFX. Eric,
Offspring, Pennywise, and Assorted Jellybeans.

Warren: The whole thing is that when you are playing alot and you're playing
the same circuit, you hang out for hours and hours everyday and become
friends.

T.O.M.: How often do you play out on the coast?

Joe: At least once a month, then sometimes every weekend. You can go up to
San Francisco, San Diego, Tiajuana, Reno or even Arizona on a weekend.

T.O.M.: On the road, do tensions ever build up?

Joe: I only talk through this thing. (Joe pulls out a pen that repeats
"I only talk through this.")

T.O.M.: That looks like a pen out of some old cartoon (the Jetsons).

Joe: It's from Home Alone Two. You trick people, they think the phone rings
(the pen starts ringing).

Warren: We all know each other real well and have known each other for a
really long time, so we get along alright. Even if we do get on each others
nerves, we kind of laugh, cause it's usually funny.

T.O.M.: How much time in a year do you spend out on the road?

Joe: This year we did two solid months of touring, then a lot of weekends.

Warren: Probably about 3 months in the past year, Yeah.

T.O.M.: Do you guys do anything else beyond the music? Anybody work at
Kinkos?

Joe: I work at CBS television. Dave owns a beer distribution company.
Warren is in Oingo Boingo.

T.O.M.: (laughs)

Joe: Every year on Halloween, Warren plays shows with Oingo Boingo and
makes lots of money.

Warren: Yeah, and film composing.

Joe: He composes music for films.

Warren: And producing other peoples' records.

T.O.M.: So, it's all entertainment related.

Warren: Yeah, pretty much. I guess you could consider alcohol entertainment.

Joe: Oh Yeah, we just provided some music for the X Files. That's actually
pretty interesting, cause I think that it's the only TV show that punk
bands should give music to.

T.O.M.: Yeah, that one and the one that Fox just cancelled, TV Nation.
That's the only show that I make sure and watch. The guys right on the
mark about things.

Joe: Yeah, he's funny. So there's the X Files episode coming up where a kid
wears a Vandals tee shirt and there's Vandals music playing in his head.
They like punk rock on that show.

Warren: They do. I admire them for that.

Joe: Every week there's someone wearing a punk tee shirt, like Social
Distortion or the Vandals or Offspring or whatever.

T.O.M.: I guess I can say I haven't watched that show much. I saw a movie
not too long ago where they were playing, actually I think it was a NoFX
song or something like that on the radio, just before the guy committed
suicide. Also saw Henry Rollins playing a policeman in a movie recently
as well.

Warren: Actually, that was his second choice for a career, but...

Joe: Yeah, he should stick to acting.

T.O.M.: He's out doing spoken word now...

Joe: Out is the operative word.

T.O.M.: I think they were charging twelve bucks a pop to listen to him
speak.

Joe: Yeah, and if you go backstage to talk with him, he charges you extra.
(laughing)

Warren: Yeah, you have to have your ATM card, if you want to have a
conversation with him. (laughing)

T.O.M.: I'm not sure that we'll go down that road much further.

Warren: Go ahead.

Joe: We're not really big fans. People want to hear how much someone sucks.
He has reached the bottom.

T.O.M.: Did he ever reach the top, that is the question, since you had to
have a peak before you went into the valley.

Joe: As I like to say, he was the third best singer Black Flag ever had.
(laughing)

T.O.M.: I think most would agree that Black Flag died on the day he joined
the band.

Warren: We're firm believers in that.

T.O.M.: It's kind of funny, cause you guys don't seem to give that attitude.
I don't dis many people, since it's really not my business, but I was
sitting behind stage at the Riverdales show with the Mr. T Experience and
Boris the Sprinkler, and during the show that Ben said two words to the
audience, before the show security was tightened up and they threw everyone
out from behind the stage. After the show Ben goes back into his cubby hole.
So I'm sitting there, left pondering why somebody would still want to go
through this if they want to shelter themselves from everything.

Joe: It could have been an off night for the boy.

Warren: Yeah, you never know. You're playing every night, you're bombarded
with people every night, and maybe some nights you don't want to talk with
anyone.

Joe: Maybe the club got all uptight, cause they think the band is big. When
we come to a place, we find them kicking the opening bands out of the back
stage area. We get really mad and say don't make a reputation for us. Could
be a lot of things.

T.O.M.: (I'm whimpering pleas for forgiveness from Ben). I do want to say
that Danny Panic was awesome. He did come over and made a point to talk
with me (what an ass kisser I can be).

Joe: Sometimes what we do is if someone's tired, they'll leave. But we'll
make a point of sticking around to talk with people. If everyone's tired on
the same night and left, everyone will think that we're big losers.
Sometimes I'll be totally tired, but if everyone is sick or everyone went
somewhere or Warren went off with some 12 year old girl, I will make a point
to stick around and talk with everybody, no matter what. It's hard, cause
people are waiting to label you as a dick. (laugh)

Warren: But a lot of times that label is justified.

Joe: Not in our case.

Warren: We're the great communicators.

T.O.M.: Now, you're sitting here with a bb gun.

Joe: The Eagle 17 caliber bb gun.

T.O.M.: Everybody go out to their local K Mart and get one of these.

Joe: I did get it from K Mart.

Warren: (Shows me his K Mart gold watch).

T.O.M.: Doe that mean you've bought so much stuff there that they gave you
the gold plated K Mart watch?

Warren: Yeah, he worked there for twenty years. (laugh)

Joe: I'm just a connoisseur of fine jewlery and men's accessories. (laugh).

T.O.M.: What else do you guys do to pass time on the road, other than sit
out in sand pits?

Joe: I play Sim Farm. I have a lap top computer.

Warren: I buy National Enquirers and People Magazine. I buy like two or
three magazines a day

Joe: I work.

Warren: Ya, he has a celluler phone.

Joe: Yeah, I have the celluler phone and I get Fed Ex packages every day,
so I actually do all my work.

Warren: I watch TV and yesterday we went fishing, cause our car broke down.
So we just had some fun. We went on the Seesaws and we're probably going to
hit a bucket of golf balls in a few minutes.

Joe: I have a very good slingshot.

Warren: Just stupid things to occupy your time, cause there is definately
several hours everyday.

T.O.M.: (A jet takes off) That noise was the last citizens of Buffalo
leaving before the show tonight.

Warren: Yeah, they're all gonna die.

T.O.M.: US Air flight 666.

T.O.M.: Are they rereleasing any of your old stuff.

Joe: Yeah, they are releasing it on Timebomb Records, which is a very good
label. They just released old Social Distortion and The Vandals, and
they're signing new bands. They're from Laguna Beach. Very beautiful place.

T.O.M.: I keep two copies of the Social Distortion records, just in case one
went bad. One's for the radio show. I figured it would never come back out
again and sure enough it's back out.

Joe: Jim Garno, their long time manager and a good friend of ours, busted
his ass getting their old stuff assembled in one place so it could have a
home.

T.O.M.: Maybe, you'll know. Maybe you won't know. Maybe it's no longer a
rumor on the west coast. There's a rumor that Social D. may be going back
to their roots in newer stuff.

Warren: I think it would be a good idea.

Joe: Everyones' expecting them to and I saw them recently with Rancid.
Rancid was playing this place called The Palace, it holds about 1500
people, when the buzz was just started on them and Social D came and
opened for them. Unannounced. You can see that they want to be in front
of that type of audience and they're going to have to go back to their
roots to keep the attention of that audience. Lot of the new kids don't
really know who they are, but the ones that do are real loyal. I think
it will spread to the rest of them. I think that they're well poised to
survive this whole thing.

T.O.M.: Anything you guys want to say to people?

Warren: Have sex with horses. (laughing)

Joe: Unity and have sex with horses.

Warren: Have sex with horses, while being united.

T.O.M.: I really appreciate it guys, I hope that you have another twenty
years of playing music.

Warren and Joe: No problem there.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Old Man is Art Fridrich
The Old Man Radio Hour
Friday 10pm-2am on WERG FM-90
Gannon University
University Square
Erie, PA 16501
fridrich@moose.erie.net
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DREW'S VIEWS - Testicular Trauma: Thoughts of Designer Imposter Body Spray
By Andrew Ian Feinberg


I can remember the first time I saw the commercial vividly, for I was
scarred eternally, not unlike the first time I had a woman look me square
in the eye, force a smile, and mumble "Don't worry, I heard it happens to
a LOT of guys." While channel surfing a few months ago, I found myself
landing on MTV. It was The Real World Two that was on, and I couldn't
change the channel because it was my favorite one, where Tammi purposely
wired her mouth shut to lose weight. I was thinking about taking up a
collection to keep it wired shut forever, but alas, I digress.
A commercial interlude began with a Mentos commercial, and I was
appalled to find myself mouthing along "Mentos, the freshmaker!" with my
television. That was bad enough, but when I realized I was actually
holding my remote triumphantly, not unlike the girl holding up her mighty
Mentos, I knew I must turn off the television and get some fresh air. I
reached for the "off" button on the remote, but found myself unable to hit
it. Instead, I my eyes were glazed as I heard my RCA beckon: "The
following demonstration has been made suitable for television." It piqued
my interest, I figured I'd watch the commercial. Big mistake.
It was a naked woman prancing around the screen with a spray can,
covered only by two blue bars that followed her around covering her breasts,
and her holiest of holies. Now, seeing an attractive naked woman bopping
around on a television screen, this is not what scarred me. Don't you
worry. In fact, it made me laugh hysterically. A voice-over was explaining
"First, spray Designer Imposter Spray on your arms, and then spray some on
your (beeped out the breasts), and the same time the woman was spraying it
on the described areas. It went on to describe all the different places
one could spray it, while the woman, seemingly in ecstasy, followed suit.
It was truly a ridiculous image, the quasi-orgasmic quality of spraying some
cheap-assed imitation perfume all over herself. She wound up spraying every
part of her body really, as the voice-over told me that spraying this
poisonous smelling fluid all over feels so good "you could spray them
everywhere." But this, of course, is not true. She missed a spot. If she
was to spray the faux-spray in one particular place, shall we say, below the
equator, this would not produce the ecstatic result as it provided elsewhere.
I believe the correct word to describe the result would be "agony." But,
thankfully, she missed that spot, so the commercial, which I thought was
over, wound up being just silly, not traumatic. Little did I know that in
just ten seconds I would be huddled in the corner of the room, rocking in
the fetal position, hand immersed in my pants, a la Al Bundy.
It seemed as though the commercial was over, as they showed a bottle
of the stuff on the screen. But then it happened. Like all horrible things
in my life, I saw it in slow motion, like when Marsellus Wallace in Pulp
Fiction had Zed give him a proctologic exam without the courtesy of a
sigmoidoscope. A nude man appeared on the screen, bottle in hand, blue
bar on crotch. The voice-over triumphantly announced, "Available for men
too!" The man, with a smug as hell grin, SPRAYS HIS CROTCH AND CHUCKLES!
He laughs with this smirk on his face, as if it were the most euphoric and
wonderful experience he had ever experienced. And the commercial was
over. It was an overload for my brain; I believe that was when I went
into shock. In my trauma induced state, my entire life passed before my
eyes. Well, okay, not my WHOLE life, but an incident in particular that
involved myself and my cajones.
I flashed back to seventh grade, I must have been around twelve or
thirteen years old. I remember being twelve quite well, it was when I was
a tiny 5'4 boy, and knew that someday I would grow and grow and finally be
able to conquer that freaking sign that said "YOU MUST BE THIS TALL TO GO
ON THIS RIDE." Now I'm twenty-five. Hey, it's not that I'm still not
allowed to go on certain rides, I just CHOOSE not to okay?? I could go on
any ride I want, I just don't like waiting in line! Wait, I'm mixing up
my traumas. Let's go back to my being twelvish.
My dream girl, Penelope Horowitz, had asked me whether I wanted to go
over to her house on Sunday and study with her for an algebra exam. I could
hardly sleep that night, knowing what would happen when I was alone with
her perusing the subtle nuances of algebra. I knew in my heart of
hearts that in the midst of studying, we would look up from the book,
stare into each others' eyes, admit our undying love, have a torrid affair,
get married, have children, and happily grow old together. I just had to
make sure everything was right. Sunday morning, I spent two hours getting
myself absolutely perfect for the big study date. When I felt I was
ready, I started to leave the house, but ran back into the bathroom.
As I was singing along to "Islands in the Stream" on my radio, I
realized I had forgotten the key to getting a woman to think of me as real
man. Cologne. So I covered myself with my dad's English Leather, not
thoroughly unlike the naked woman in the Designer Imposter commercial.
But what if Penelope begged me to have sex with her? This was a real
possibility. The prospect of her finding me "not so fresh" was strictly
unacceptable. So in the middle of singing the Dolly Parton part of the
chorus, I pulled out the waistband of my underwear and did my final
spray. "Islands in the stream...that is what we AREEEEEEEEEEEEGHHHHHHH!"
I had never experienced such excruciating pain in my entire life. I had
to cancel the date. I spent the remainder of the day holding my wounded
huevos and cursing the day I had tried to spray myself "there." Penelope
went on to date and marry my best friend. Oh Penelope, I miss you so...if
you're reading this give me a call, I know I can make you so happy...
Back to the story at hand. The man in the commercial had made the same
mistake I had made, yet suffered no ill consequences. It was the most
unreal and unjust act I had seen since Marisa Tomei had won the Oscar for
Best Supporting Actress. But like the Tomei tragedy, this wrong could be
righted, I knew it. I knew then why I had been put on this earth. It was

  
to get that commercial modified. I wrote letters. I made urgent phone
calls. I boycotted using the product. Okay, I hadn't really used it in
the first place, but hey, manufacturers didn't know that. Yet every day
that blasted commercial would come on time and time again. Hundreds of
times, I saw that smug bastard spray his crotch. Was there no justice in
the world? The horror, the horror. But just as I began to give up hope,
it happened. The commercial began the same, bimbo dancing around in her
Imposter glory. Same guy, blue bar on privates. But this time, he
sprayed his CHEST, smirking and chuckling. Glory, hallelujah! Can I get
an amen? There's no need to thank me. Just knowing that I might have
saved one pubescent boy from making the same mistake I made is enough.
All I ask for is a page in the history books documenting my selfless effort
to make the world a better place to live. Or maybe a statue.

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BETWEEN ZERO & ONE
By Steven Leith

Thinking Outside the Self

I am going to stretch the concept of a political column to include
political socialization. That is the process by which a state molds
subjects (citizens) into a cohesive political unit that operates within
acceptable limits established by the state.
How's that again? Political Socialization is the process of
indoctrination that creates a common point of view. Those commonly held
views form the foundation upon which the state is built. We can not escape
political socialization. The degree to which we are successfully
manipulated by this process is generally the degree to which we are
accepted by our society.
The process is made possible by the way the human brain evolves
during early childhood. Until about the age of three the brain is growing.
It is a mass of firing neurons without the order that we like to call
adult thinking.
Then the brain begins to shrink. This shrinking is the cutting away
of neural patterns that are not found to be useful in the environment. The
order of the adult mind is created by closing down neural pathways. The
remaining hardwired architecture reinforces culturally and environmentally
useful thought pathways. In effect we build our brain's functionality by
getting rid of pathways that are not reinforced by our environment.
We as a species learn to see the world in the terms of our society.
Our thinking is hardwired and what we do and say is limited by how our
brain was molded by early childhood development. Although it is not
impossible to "think" outside ourselves, it is very hard.
It is rare that our species has a chance to alter the hardwire of
thinking patterns. We are at a point now in the development of human
thinking patterns to make a change. The reason for this is the advent
of the Net.
Now comes the leap. More than a way of doing, the Net is a way of
thinking. The Net is becoming a new paradigm for open pathways. By linking
different cultural views it links different ways of thinking. It is
creating a species wide thinking system that allows more possibilities.
This new way of thinking can help the individual rise out of culturally
imposed thought patterns.
For all this high tone pontificating I must point out that the Net is
still in its infancy. It is exploding with a myriad of neural pathways.
It is growing links and patterns that will later define the adult Net.
What the mature version of the Net might become will be a result of
how those links and pathways evolve. Will the "thought" patterns be
restricted to consumerism? Will one culture dominate, rendering all other
ideas invisible? Will the chance to evolve a more global Net be lost?
The Net's pathways are being grown now. Some pathways will be cut
out, others will be reinforced with money or laws. The Net is undergoing
its political socialization now. When the Net grows up, what do you want
it to think like?


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SHARP POINTED STICK AWARD
By DJ Johnson

This month? No contest. John Wayne Bobbitt. Now, this guy could get
the award on his best day without even trying, so I ignore him most of the
time. This month, however, the Bobster has outdone himself. After his wife
sliced off his penis and tossed it out the car window, after the surgery and
the rehabilitation...which we have enough taste not to talk about in any
great detail...and the trial and all the publicity, John Wayne Bobbitt walked
into the beauty salon where his ex-wife, Lorenna, is employed and begged her
to come back to him.
It only takes a little bit of reading to discover that Lorenna was
almost justified in slicing the prick off of the dick. I say "almost"
only because I am a man, and I can't quite justify such a thing. Bobbitt
is scum. He has no idea how to treat his fellow human beings, especially
those of the female variety. He is one of the most ridiculous people on
this planet. Lorenna, on the other hand, is...well...the kind of woman who
would see castration as the more intelligent option to, oh, just leaving?
To Lorenna's credit, she told the Bobster to stick it where the sun
don't shine, which is what she wishes she'd done when she had the chance.
John left the salon a broken man. Heh, sorry, that was too easy. You
have to wonder why this guy would try to rekindle his relationship with
the woman who sliced off his penis. Best guess: publicity. Bobbitt had
been in the spotlight for a long time, then the lights faded and he was left
with just himself, which isn't much. So, actually, giving him this award
would be catering to his silly cry for attention. So I take BACK the award.
Three paragraphs worth of attention is enough.
Instead, I'll hand the statue to a group of mystery recipients. They
are mysterious only in that we don't know who the hell they are. They are
the bunch of idiots who attempted to break into a fireworks factory in Kent,
England, by using a blowtorch to cut through the door. The resulting
explosion was quite something, setting the building AND the getaway van on
fire. There were no witnesses, but after analyzing the M.O., police are
searching for Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Sylvester the Cat and Wyle E.
Coyote. Yes, they got away, but you can bet they'll strike again. If I were
Scotland Yard, I'd post undercover cops at the Gas Company. Well, not AT
the Gas Company, but a little ways AWAY from the Gas Company. Meanwhile,
if any of the perpetrators can dial a phone with their heavily bandaged
hands, there's an award waiting for them here.
That's all for this month. If you know someone who really needs access
to a sharp pointed stick, you can rat on them simply by sending email to
moonbaby@serv.net. I'd love to hear all about it. Remember, do unto
others only as you would have them do unto you, unless you want to do it
anonymously, in which case, fire away!

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Random stuff for your entertainment. Happy scrolling!


"Pindrop's Creative Writing"

(On n'ecrit bien que sur ce qu'on n'a jamais vecu - Remy de Gourmont)

write what I know?
I know all I know
as a flounder dreams of fire
if I knew just what I knew
why would I write at all?

- Scott Ellis


Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.
But I repeat myself. -- Mark Twain




When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. When toast is
dropped, it always lands butter-side-down. I propose to strap buttered
toast to the back of a cat (butter facing up). The two will hover,
spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array,
a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. -- Omni


Beware the scarecrow lost in flight
Things that shift though out of sight
Fear the beast that hides within
Where deadly nervous doubts begin
For sooner shall the cycle tread
Like footsteps of the walking dead
Subtle changes seeming mere
Grave mistakes so seldom clear
The imperfection diamond rough
Will be a different diamond cut

- Fred Cole (of Dead Moon)



The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"





- UNTITLED -

rest your brain on my shoulder
there there
the clouds float away
where where
your thoughts crawl
down your neck onto my arm

on the last cloud you float away
away

my shoulder and arm still don't trust

the sudden freedom


H.California
1995-09-03





Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years
and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some
of the worst movies in the history of the world. - Dave Barry



Twice five syllables
Plus seven can't say much but
That's Haiku for you.



A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices. -- William James




Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease".
Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your
principles or your mistress."



Sheepskin seatcovers
Winter warm and summer cool
Little lambs no more

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SPECIAL THANKS - To ServNet, Cai Campbell, NeoSoft Corp (Makers of Neobook,
Neopaint and Neoshow), Don Dill (Cartoonsist responsible for Stress Man,
the wild eyed guy in Editor's Notes), Cai Campbell (Who made the NeoBook
version of Cosmik Debris), Jim Andrews (who does all the HTML work on our
WWW site) and Blair Buscareno (editor of Teen Scene, a great garage music
zine). And this month, a very special thanks to all the participants in
The Great Surf Summit, who really got into it and made it work.
And one Above-And-Beyond award/thank you to Steve Leith, who, faced with
a malfunctioning computer, went to a cyber-cafe to write his column for
this month. Wow. Makes me feel like a real wimp for whining about how
slow my 14.4 modem seems, y'know what I mean?

DJ

--------------------------------------------------------------------------


E-MAIL ADDRESSES FOR CONTACTING COSMIK DEBRIS' WRITERS


DJ Johnson (Editor)......moonbaby@serv.net
Cai Campbell.............vex@serv.net
James Andrews............jimndrws@serv.net
Louise Johnson...........aquaria@serv.net
coLeSLAw.................coleslaw@greatgig.com
Scott Wedel..............syzygy@cyberspace.com
Andrew Ian Feinberg......afeinber@panix.com
Steven Leith.............leith@wolfenet.com
Steve Marshall...........MHND71F@prodigy.com
The Platterpuss..........Plattrpuss@aol.com
The Old Man..............fridrich@moose.eire.net


Cosmik Debris' WWW site..http://www.greatgig.com/cosmikdebris
Subscription requests....moonbaby@serv.net
Cai Campbell's BBS (Great Gig In The Sky)..206-935-8486



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