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Viewer Discretion vol. 1 issue 19 April 13:99
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 19 vol. 1 April 13/99
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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T h e r e a r e 2 6 2 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . .
In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
NO FRILLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY
CYBER-GREMLINS TERRORIZE CANADIAN READER! - BY ANTIPRESS
THE GREAT "GAS OUT" - FROM INSTAGON MAILING LIST
FORWARD THIS TO 50 OF YOUR FRIENDS! - SUBMITTED BY JOHN G.
TOP TEN REASONS WHY I HATE TOP TEN LISTS
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "throbbing what? you say" issue. Man, time flies... I
was sitting at my computer doing some html stuff when all of a sudden
it hit me that this issue of VD was only hours away from being born
into ether and I hadn't written shite yet. So excuse the lack of
concrete subject matter in this intro thingy - just attribute it to
everything being louder that everything else in the music mix of
life...
Working on the a new disk image for 12 PC and 12 Mac G3's for the lab
here. Talk about schizo...but I will say that Mac's system 8.5.1 kicks
serious ass on Windoze 95/98/NT - and I'm a PC (no not politically
correct) person. What a nice system. And yeah, as nice as it is, you
can ignore the hype (heheh), Mac's crash too.
And speaking of music mixes (nice tie in eh?). For anyone into mp3's or
even just playing CD's through your computer, check out www.sonique.com
for a kickin' free player. Spend some time and check out the multiple
interfaces and features of this little gem. I even included it on the
aforementioned PC image for the lab. And no, I have no stake in this
product - I just like really good products that are also free...there's
nothin' like blastin' Nine Inch Nails or Throbbing Gristle through my
PC's subwoofer system in the office... Scares the professor types away
(no, not you Paul)...
Lot's of shite for ya in this issue, including Goatboy's typical
goatonian answer to that most annoying question of all: "Are you
working hard?"
Kick back, turn up the tunes and read the letter shaped pixels and
enjoy...
:: QUOTABLE ::
"I am fart like duck"
-Sasha aged 2
:: NO FOOLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY::
The sad thing of working for a long time in a grocery store is that
the regulars get to see you and decide they want to start a long term
friendship with you.
I wouldn't mind if these were hot 14 years old girls in kilts, but
unfortunately, only weird bizarre people seem to be into socially
active circles around here and take their time to share their pathetic
and miserable lives with me.
I don't care.
What's worse is when you are on the subway or on the bus, or just
walking downtown, far, far away from where you work, and you bump into
these people and they start talking to you.
Well, who the fuck are you?
This is the guy that shops at no frills every Thursday between 2 and 4
PM, and buys a case of prune juice, while breathing alcohol breath down
your face.
You know what, ya fucking lush, I don't like you in the store, I don't
like you any better here on the bus. Fuck off.
While I could probably stand their friendly "hellos" each time they
see me, and in fact, there are a few folks which I've got to know and
have proven that they have both a social life, behaviour, and can be
friendly, there are others were I'd rather mutilate than listen. They
say the same joke every time: "Are you working hard?" No, I'm not, I
just got a hard on looking at your flabby ass. And if one day you
happen to cut a finger and they happen to know, for the rest of your
life, each time they see you "Hey! Did you cut all of your fingers
off? Hey hey hey!". Here, let me cut your balls off, so I can say "hey
hey hey, did you find your balls again?".
I'm glad I am Canadian. In Canada guns cannot be bought at a
Convenience store.
Though sometimes I see myself wishing I was American, walk into a
corner store, buy a slushy and a pack of ammo for my .45 and the next
time someone cracks a "working hard eh?" put a bullet through their
head.
:: CYBER-GREMLINS TERRORIZE CANADIAN READER! - BY ANTIPRESS::
Below is an article/explanation that appeared in issue #6 of AntiPress,
a kick ass media/social commentary zine that is also archived
exclusively at Disobey (www.disobey.com/low/listings/anti-press.htm).
It refers to the weird ass shit that was happening to me over the last
few weeks and just plain cracked me up...
----
In our last e-dition we announced we would have an article appearing in
the new edition of The Annihilation Fountain (www.capnasty.org/taf/).
As some of you know the new edition didn't materialize at that Web
site.
That's because the brave man who maintains that site, Neil MacKay, has
been battling evil spirits from the darkest depths of cyberspace! PC
poltergeist have been wreaking hell, crashing hard drives, bombing
programs, even knocking a framed poster off a wall and shattering glass
all over while Neil was sitting in his office, typing email to us.
So Anti-Press announces the first cyber-cosmic convergence, scheduled
for one minute before midnight, Universal Time, on March 31st. You must
log on to the TAF home page and place your hands on your computer
screen, thinking good thoughts about Canada-- heavenly maple syrup,
majestic mountains, William Shatner, busy beavers, rutting moose, the
Expos, polite French Quebecers-- loving psychic vibes to drive out the
malevolent microchip meanies from Toronto. You must maintain the vibes
until the first quarter of the witching hour is over and a new-- and
more appropriate-- day has begun.
-----
Well, it seemed to work. Things have been pretty "normal" for a while
and the new issue of TAF is online (www.capnasty.org/taf) but I take
exception to the William Shatner reference... Couldn't you have, say,
included the Toronto Blue Jays instead of Captain Hairpiece? Oh well,
it's the thought that counts...
:: THE GREAT "GAS OUT" - FROM INSTAGON MAILING LIST ::
I had this note sent to me from the Instagon list (instagon@netcom.com)
and thought I would do my civic duty and all that shite....(substitute
Canadian where ever you read the word American unless you're a Yank
then never mind...)
----
It's time we did something about the price of gasoline in America! We
are all sick and tired of high prices when there are literally millions
of gallons in storage?
Know what I found out? If there was just ONE day when no one purchased
any gasoline, prices would drop drastically.
The so-called oil cartel has decided to slow production by some 2
million barrels per day to drive up the price. I have decided to see
how many Americans we can get to NOT BUY ANY GASOLINE on one particular
day!
Let's have a GAS OUT! Do not buy any gasoline on APRIL 30, 1999!!!!!
Buy on Thursday before, or Saturday after.
Do not buy any gasoline on FRIDAY, APRIL 30, 1999.
Wanna help? Send this message to everyone you know. Ask them to do the
same. All we need is a few million to participate in order to make a
difference.
We CAN make a difference.
:: FORWARD THIS TO 50 OF YOUR FRIENDS! - SUBMITTED BY JOHN G. ::
A friend of mine forwarded this to me and I just thought the tone fit
VD especially well so why not publish it and spread it around to even
more people wasting even more bandwidth...
----
Hello, my name is Alfonso Merkin. I am suffering from rare and deadly
diseases, poor scores on final exams, lack of sexual activity, fear of
being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not
sending out 50 billion fucking forwards sent to me by people who
actually believe that if you send them, that a poor 6 year old girl in
Arkansas with lung cancer brought on by second-hand smoke from the
cigarettes smoked by the big bad men who kidnapped her and took
pornographic pictures of her for use on their child pornography web
site will get 6 fucking cents every time you send me the letter.
Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and
everyone you send "his" email to $1000? How fucking stupid are you?
Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll
get laid by every Victoria's Secret model in the catalogue! What a
bunch of bullshit.
So basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out
there who have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail
forwards. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
apartment and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain
which was started by Jesus in 5 AD and was brought to this country by
midget pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000,
it'll be in the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
streak of blatant stupidity.
Fuck them. If you're going to forward something, at least send
something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to 50 of your
closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will
somehow receive a nickel from some "omniscient being" forwards about 90
times. I don't fucking care.
Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. Chances are it's your own
unpopularity.
P.S. Please forward this to at least 50 of your best friends!
:: TOP TEN REASONS WHY I HATE TOP TEN LISTS ::
10. They're stupid
9. They're not funny
8. They're stereotypical
7. They use dated material
6. Even Letterman's aren't funny anymore
5. They accomplish nothing
4. They waste bandwidth
3. They are shallow at best
2. They are insulting at worst
And the #1 reason WHY I HATE TOP TEN LISTS:
1. They are last refuge of those that have nothing to say
Uh, oh yeah, ignore this list too. It's also stupid. <g>
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD or you can spread VD - your choice. But if you want VD
delivered to your mailbox, you have to send an empty email to:
v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
Conversely, if you don't want VD then send an empty email to:
v_d-unsubscribe@makelist.com
Pretty simple huh? Well, most of the time for most of the people.
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to
v_d@iname.com or don't.
Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth -
http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm
because Morbus gets personal email from _the_Devil_you_know
Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com
Goatboy appears courtesy of capnasty.org
Everyone else is just sort of out there on the fringes kickin' back and
catching a few golden rays....
Next issue April 27/99
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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