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Viewer Discretion vol. 1 issue 7 october 27:98
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 7 vol. 1 october 27/98
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
THE REEF
HORROR - BY MORBUS
BOOKSHITE
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "my wedding ring won't off my finger any more and I
wonder if it is a sign of some kind" issue. Uh, yeah. Really. I
attempted to remove my wedding ring last weekend to clean up after
handling a particularly vile diaper (too much information I know, but
hey, wait, maybe shit on one's wedding ring is another sign...mental
note for another issue), and needless to say, even with lots of soap
the damn thing wouldn't budge. Hmmm... So I started thinking (which
usually gets me in trouble), what if I were to get divorced? How
would I get it off? I mean, I don't plan on getting divorced; I love
my wife very much but one never really knows for sure. But seeing as
I've yet to find any lawyers cards or do-it-yourself divorce kits
laying around the house, I'd say things are just in one of those
valleys looking for a peak... But the damn ring still won't come off.
I don't really need it off now (I did managed to get all the baby
poop off of it and my fingers), but I would like to be able to if I
want to. Maybe it's just a control thing on my part? I don't know.
Maybe it's the beginning's of a midlife crisis a decade or so early?
Maybe I should just buy a Corvette and get it over with? Or maybe I
should just shut the fuck up and get on with this issue? Whatever it
is, it sure as hell looks like the wedding ring ain't coming off (and
that's probably a good thing) unless I cut it, or the finger, off...
Thank God it's not a cockring...
In the "if it weren't for bad luck he'd have no luck at all"
department, everyone should give a big 'aaaahhhh, poor guy' to Goatboy
who busted a couple ribs doing a triple gainer with a full backwards
twist down a flight stairs into a wall. The wall won. Cards, gifts,
chuckles, abuses, offers of sexual favours, etc. can be sent to
goatboy@capnasty.org
Anyways, enjoy the issue and remember any comments, prophecies,
suggestions, rants, etc. are most welcome. But please, no poop. Send
them to v_d@iname.com
:: QUOTABLE ::
"I think the 20th century has been a gigantic mistake."
-Diana Green in a letter to The Compleat Mother magazine
:: THE REEF ::
This week we have a great, full colour, 63 page book entitled
_Surviving Doomsday_ by C. Bruce Sibley. The title says it all. This is
a manual for surviving a nuclear holocaust. It was published in 1977
and is chock full of statistical data about various countries nuclear
arsenals, the effects of radiation, Hiroshima and Nagasaki, etc. It's
got a great chapter on chemical weapons - how they're made, distributed
and illustrations of their effects on people. It gets into all sorts of
weaponry related talks including a section called "Exotic Weaponry"
that is pretty neat. My favourite section though is a 2 page spread
entitled "Scenario for a Third World War". It begins on Monday the 1st
and goes through to Tuesday the 23rd, describing the build up of world
tensions until the final shoot-out. Very well done (for 1977). This
section actually seems like the outline of a great novel. Overall I
recommend picking this up if you see it lying around some second hand
book store. It's detailed enough, yet easy enough to read to be well
worth your time - especially now that the cold war is over and all we
have to worry about are extremist groups buying nuclear arms on the
underground market... Seriously. Terrorism will reach new heights when
the extremists begin detonating suitcase sized nuclear bombs on the
corner of Main Street, downtown USA. Watch for it. Coming soon to a
city near you. And I'll sit back and read my Surviving Doomsday book
and eat Spam and drink bottled water and live underground and shoot
any motherfucker who tries to get near me...<g>
:: HORROR - BY MORBUS ::
Bride of Chucky
"Just because I ate a large meal 20 minutes ago doesn't mean I can't
get a bag of popcorn", I justified to myself as I sat through dumb ass
Sony Theatre's Big Ass Pepsi Commercial-a-thon. Sitting to see BRIDE OF
CHUCKY, the fifth in the series, and as you will be able to tell by the
ending, definitely not the last. You should have felt that one coming
just by reciting the title mantra to yourself a couple of times. This
movie just oozes sequel.
This movie *does* have Chucky "die" a bunch of different ways, as does
his bride (played by Jennifer Tilley). And this movie *does* have the
coolest, most bloody death that I have seen this year (graphical shot
of guy getting hit by a Mack truck and blood and parts splurting
everywhere... no fade to black, no scene change, just "oh shit!",
Splllaattt! I couldn't help but burst out laughing at how cool it was.)
And this movie *does* have John Ritter in another perfect performance
(...). And finally, this movie *does* have close-up doll tonguing and
behind-the-curtain doll boning ("do I have a rubber?... Baby, I'm made
of rubber!").
But, all in all, this movie should have been sub-titled "Revenge of the
Garbage Pail Kids". With Chucky and his Bride smoking weed, more bad
jokes and stupid sayings than the Leprechaun had in his whole series,
and a severely knifed John Ritter only oozing a tiny bit of blood from
the trunk (the same tiny bit of blood that was there when his face got
impaled with all those nails), BRIDE OF CHUCKY is entertaining at the
most.
Really, you should only go for the doll sex and the Mack trucks.
:: BOOKSHITE ::
Lucifer's Hammer by Larry Niven and Jerry Pournelle
This is an end-of-civilization-from-a-comet-hitting-the-Earth story
that is quite realistic in its portrayal of what one, or I, imagine(s)
would happen if all of a sudden there was no central authority of any
kind. No police, no local or federal government, no power, no phones,
none of the luxuries that are so completely taken for granted that we
don't even see them as luxuries. In a matter of a couple of hours the
United States (where the book takes place) is thrown back 100+ years
into a agricultural society. There are pockets of areas where
technology has survived, but for the most part, 90% of the continent,
not only the way of life, but the physical landscape has changed due
to massive 1000+ foot tidal waves, earthquakes, etc. One of my favorite
scenes in the book is the surfer dude waiting for the tsunami. He rides
it inland for miles climbing to the crest, only to run smack into a
high-rise building (that's gotta hurt). That just cracked me up. What a
loser. Another is the description of the band of survivors holding
contests for the kids - the contest being seeing who can catch the most
rats. The rats are used for food and their pelts. The rewards for the
kiddies are what are potentially the last remaining chocolate bars on
Earth. The book is brought to a believable, even satisfying climax,
after wading through societal moral issues, religious fanatics and a
post apocalyptic war. Enjoyable, entertaining and no Bruce Willis
climbing onto a comet and blowing it kinda shit. Worth the read,
especially at this time in our history as we approach the big 2000
and the fanatics are starting to come out of the woodwork proclaiming
the end of the world due to the dreaded Y2K bug, the 1st, 2nd or 3rd
coming of [insert favorite historical religious figure here],
poisoning of the environment, general mayhem and upheaval, (see end of
the reef above for more examples), etc., etc., etc....
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD from tonguing post apocalyptic, rabid rubber dolls or
by sending an empty email to v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
If you have something you'd like to see in vd or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or just want to scream at someone, send a note to
v_d@iname.com
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are copy, right Ed?
Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth -
http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm
because only Morbus can talk about "doll-boning" as if it were an
art form. Really.
Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com
Goatboy doesn't appear due to unforeseen circumstances.
Doll's boning, baby poop and the end of the world - we got it all baby!
Next issue November 10/98
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
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Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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