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Viewer Discretion vol. 2 issue 27 July 18:00
__ __
\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 27 vol. 2 July 18/00
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLES
SHNIBBULAR SHITE - BY BRENDAN H.
ROCKMSOCKMVD - BY MITCH S.
I THOUGHT AN iMAC WAS A COMPUTER?!?!...
LETTERS FROM GOATBOY - BY GOATBOY
RECENT EBAY PURCHASES
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "holy fuck it's 8:19pm on Tuesday the 18th and I have
written a freakin' word for VD" issue. Really. Busy ass day at work and
while checking my email from home it suddenly dawned on me that an issue
of VD was due...Yikes! What to do, what to do??? I know! Let's pick on
someone. OK, who? AFeXT? Naw, too easy and too stupid. A-P? Naw, too anal
and no sense of humour. That Aussy jerkwad from about a year ago? Naw,
who really cares? OK, let's not pick on someone. Shit. I'm completely out
of ideas. And I guess I really don't give a flying fuck. Oh well... <g>
This issue marks the last issue of volume 2. Beginning next issue we start
the issue numbering all over again at no.1 vol. 3. The only problem is I
won't be here to put out the next issue as I'm going on a road trip
vacation thing to Brandon, Manitoba (kinda like Butt-Fuck, USA without the
dumb-ass Yanks <g>). I'll see if I can put together a special guest issue
(Morbus? Goatboy? Angie? Bunniee? Mitch? Brendan? Peter?) and let someone
else have control for an issue. If there are no takers on that, well then
fuck it. I guess you'll just have to wait until August 1 to find out. But
if you do want to write an issue of VD, send your completed issue before
July 28/00 to v_d@iname.com and I'll set-up something to ensure it
automagically gets sent out on August 1. If I get multiple submissions
I'll send them all out. Of course I reserve the right to pick and choose
whatever I want to forward to y'all and to ignore the rest (translation:
if I think you're a knob you don't get the fame and glory <g>).
In the stupid reader wants to unsub category, a one VARUN KUMAR
<nvarunk@yahoo.com> receives top marks for figuring out how to subscribe
to VD all by him/herself but having no clue as to how to unsubscribe even
though there are clear instructions in every issue. Way to go Varun! You
make us proud. I should run a contest and have you, dear reader, send
in your nominations for who I should unsub against their will (I can
think of a couple.... <g>).
For some reason that I've yet to figure out Goatboy had this to say:
I'm stealing some of your VD quotes and using them to
replace the corny shit I had in my signature files.
God what the fuck was I thinking?
Dude, no one said your sig files were corny. Fuck, I can't even read the
goddamn things! Ever heard of English? <g>
Sigh. I have a headache.
Anyways, I'm fucking tired and don't want to be here writing this shite
so let's just wipe up and look for tread marks...
:: QUOTABLES ::
"C'ERA un piccolo cuore, che amava una tale donzella dal cuore di pietra.
Un giorno questa avvenente donzella incontra il diavolo. Il diavolo gli
disse: so che fai molte promesse e che fai soffrire il tuo prossimo,
aggrandendo il mio gregge. Vuoi tu venire con me? e la donzella disse:
si. Il DIAVOLO la guardo' e disse: in fondo a te c'e' solo promesse,
e dunque non ti voglio, perche' un giorno saresti capace di tradirmi."
-Goatboy's sigfile
"In a thousand years, Dana will be revered like Jesus Christ or Buddha is
today. Someday the biggest faith on Earth will be Dana Platoists."
-from http://www.danaplatocult.com/new/default.htm
:: SHNIBBULAR SHITE - BY BRENDAN H. ::
My one man stand against office spam.
Recently some shipping company decided to cash in on an insurance claim
off the sunny Cape coast. The resulting mess means that a large colony of
penguins is being threatened by a small scale (Ok folks, barely a ton of
oil isn't exactly the Exxon Valdez) oil spill and I have to deal with the
most insidious form of spam ever invented : Office sanctioned spam.
That's right, on cue, barely two weeks after the worst of the oil is
cleaned up an office email circulates. Apparently some new special
interest group (With the logo of a hyena, just for ironies sake) which
I've never heard of before wants MY money in return for making me dress in
all black and white for a day.
One word of advice: If you ever want to be labelled as the office outcast,
disregard all emails of this nature. If you want to be talked about,
instead of wearing all black and white, wear everything but black and
white. And if you really want to be the office leper and have the whole
world sniping at you behind your back, you must be heard uttering the
phrase: "Fuck the penguins." while wearing everything but black and white.
It's not that I don't care about the penguins. It's just that I'm sick of
every single unregistered obscure micro-charity sowing operatives amongst
every single company in the world using last weeks bleeding heart news
story to part me from my hard earned cash.
Enough I say. It's time for someone to resist the pressure, extend his/her
middle finger and tell the lot of them where they can shove their oil
soaked penguins/missing children/hungry and homeless.
THE SHNIBBULAR ONE
:: ROCKMSOCKMVD - BY MITCH S. ::
Ya know, this thing just keeps getting more interesting, and acquiring
depth..realism..texture..a certain harmonious ambiance..have ya'll been
doing that feng shui stuff again? That would be illegal in China, these
days..But they do great big screen films..so do you see where I'm going
with this? First, the best of VD mystery CD, then the interactive video
CD-ROM, then the MTV single, then the 40 city tour..THEN the film
deal..(Chinese locale, boy meets girl plot, offshore production company,
sell out pre-release to Dreamworks), can you see the fast track here?
How about an all woman crew? Get NOW sponsorship, a little free network
publicity, maybe we can figure out how Jesse Jackson could get arrested
protesting some perceived racial bias..I mean, it's a natural..after
all, finally able to deal with the HYPE on it's own terms..don't exile
the puerile, they provide a needed dilution of media numbed perceptions
and/or thought processes..helps the creative flow no end to have some
obviously impaired individuals handy to denigrate..So Bunny, are you
still resisting the tugs of mad passion that against your will force you
to consider a lifetime avocation as a workaholic demimonde? It's
hopeless, girl..When the weather warms up, ya just can't resist the music
of nature..don't even try..Just remember, when you're out there creating
erotic milestones, TAKE OFF THE LENS CAP! Hope ya win bigtime in the
LUCKY LOTTERY OF LOVE..cause that 40 city tour is gonna be a bitch..
Mitch
:: I THOUGHT AN iMAC WAS A COMPUTER?!?!... ::
A NEW "ORGAN"IZATION
Intact Men Against Circumcision (IMAC) is an assemble of intact men
networking to save infants and children from destructive genital surgery.
We are joined together to help end the intense pain, trauma, terror and
suffering which is a perversion called circumcision. As owners of this
extraordinary structure, the prepuce (foreskin), we must speak out. As
males who appreciate and understand the importance of wholeness, we must
speak out.
As males who are experiencing a phenomenon which guarantees a lifetime of
complete, sensuous, fulfilling and normal sexuality, we must speak out.
We have been mute too long, our voices must be heard, we must share the
truth that ownership of a complete primary sex organ is healthy and the
subtraction from that organ is destructive. For more information, write
IMAC, PO Box 355, Green River, WY 82935.
Found at:
http://www.eskimo.com/~gburlin/mgm/cin/Circ.Info.Network.95.05.06.txt
:: LETTERS FROM GOATBOY - BY GOATBOY ::
Date: Fri, 14 Jul 2000 11:32:19 -0400 (EDT)
From: Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro <leandro@scriba.org>
To: Keren Perla <kopenhagen3@hotmail.com>
Cc: leandro@capnasty.org
Subject: Re: FWD:Fwd: Fwd: this will freak the hell out of u! Sorry
On Fri, 14 Jul 2000, Keren Perla wrote:
> hello agin,
Hello Keren. =)
> i must admit i find your writing syle intruiging. I seems to be a
> combination of sarcasm and sincerity, qualities which at the moment i
> can but attribute to a satire. Yet instead of focusing a worldy issue
> the main character of your "review" you chosse to focus on language.
> That, in it's simplest form is a reflection of the person whose chose
> the very word you analyze. In retrospect, i am sure that since you
> read with the intention of knowing the entertainer, you write with the
> same respect you read.
> i commend you for that.
The purpose of the English language is to allow for one thing to happen:
communication. Sadly, after re-reading your above paragraph about 6 or 7
times, I came to several conclusions:
- You write like this: http://www.pale.org/personal/grignr.html
- Reading that entire paragraph is like reading a book when you're tired.
You read up to page 53 and you can't remember what exactly you've read.
- It is a long and winded paragraph which says nothing coherent.
- You use a mouthful of big words.
- I still can't figure out what exactly you're trying to say.
On a brighter side, I at least got your very last sentence, to which I
answer, thanks.
> But i do believe i have found the key string in your gordian knot.
> YOu spelled "crime" "chrime." It would seem that i am not hte only
> dynamic writer.
Oh the horror! The horror! I should be punished for commiting such a
chrime.
> As to your little comment on dynamics, i must also admit that i love
> life's absurdities.
You forgot to add: big words, long winded sentences =)
> Thery are what drive people to change,
Or to mutter "I am definately not from this planet!"
> to find calrity,
Not to be confused with the Insurance company.
> and more often thatn not , they find themselves at the exact same
> place,
I think absurdities just don't find themselves on the exact same spot.
They are just so big, we keep finding ourselves in the same one. Yeah,
that's it.
> perhaps a little disoriented but immensly more motivated. THey now
> see that they can not cange absurdities because they are one and the
> same. They are able to understand that in coming full sircle they
> have travelled nowhere, but have been everywhere, however absurd,
> superficial and sentimental it might sound.
Sound of wind.
Cut to: me, looking confused.
> My last comment is about the quote you had a while ago fome st.
> augustine. I had the pleasure of reading his confessions as well as
> rouseau's. i found Augustine to be mechanical and ascetic. HE
> belived that we are nothing but servants, that when we gie ourselves
> to choose our own paths and forgoe destiny, we lose ourselves, and
> must experience life in order to return, kind of like self beration.
> Rouseau, althoug Atheist and self proffesed hero, he embrace free
> will, choose, for better or for worse, his own way and slowly
> encountered himself along the way. Now, in cionfessing, augustine
> confesses to god and rouseau to himself, which is harder? Well,
> absurdity abounds. HAve a wonderous day.
Them poor blokes were seeking an answer to the most absurd question of
them all. But death got to them before an answer could be found.
They'd be upset to know we stil haven't figured it out and we live a
life style that pushes people to cherish all but what is good for the
soul.
Beware of the hamsters,
leandro
:: RECENT EBAY PURCHASES ::
A bunch of Cages comics by Dave Mckean
:: ETC ::
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or if you just hate VD and want to send in cheap
ass stupid insults, type 'em up and send it to v_d@iname.com.
Music that inspired this issue: Panacea - Twisted Designz
NIN & Bowie - various mp3's
Patti Smith - Gung Ho
ZZ Top - Antenna
374 subscribers
This issue is a mega baby snot bomb...
Next issue August 1/00...maybe <g>
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Morbus wants this disclaimer shite here. Why? Ask Morbus...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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