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Viewer Discretion vol. 2 issue 9 Nov. 23:99
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 9 vol. 2 Nov. 23/99
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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T h e r e a r e 3 8 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . .
In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
PORNHOLE TRUE NEWSSTORIES
WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER - BY BUNNIE23
NAME CHANGE SHITE
STEAL SOMETHING DAY - FROM THE OPIRGT-ACRAG LIST
ANAGRAMSHITE FROM THE WORMHOLE-LIST
AMAZON.MORON.COMSHITE
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "who wants to be a WHITE millionaire" issue. I've
watched a few of those Regis millionaire shows and noticed that almost
every one of the contestants have been pasty-faced-white-assed-upper-
middle-class-mr-and-mrs-America types. Seeing all these privileged
white folks along with Regis' syrupy comments is enough to make me
puke. I mean, I don't even have cable and only get about 10 channels
and fucking Regis has to be on one of them almost every fucking time I
turn the TV on. Thank god I don't have cable. Ah twell (as Morbus would
say).
WARNING: This is issue sucks.
And now we break for some words from our readers... Angie C. had this
to say about last issue's bovine sperm contest item:
i can't believe you didn't sign me up for some
fresh, warm bull spunk.
i cd really use that.
Hmmm...I bet you say that to all the boys <g> Actually, she being the
good sport that she is, she even wished Morbus all the best with his
winnings:
tell Morbus to use it and use it well.
this is a civilization with little hope.
Hmm... Do you mean civilization has little hope *because* of Morbus
getting his grubby little mitts on some bovine "spunk"? Or that we're
just fucked in general and it's not Morbus fault? Well anyways, if any
non-farmer could find use for bovine spunk Morbus would be the guy <g>
On the topic on no questions to the LET'S ASK ANGIE column idea, Angie
had this to say (talkative little thang ain't she? Heard she's a mighty
fine cook as well - the little dawll - just waiting on
doe-mestication, uh huh <g>):
on another note, i guess none of your readers
are out in the dating world or if they are,
they have no questions to ask.
this is probably because they are dead.
i think i've dated a couple of them.
Maybe she really could have used that bovine spunk after all. Maybe
Morbus will share? Morbus, you get yer spunk yet?
Angie then added this little inquiry (to which I don't know, nor do I
want to know the answer):
p.s. i do hope the bull spunk was extracted
using humane methods? did someone wank him
off, or maybe throw him a copy of
Cowsmopolitan???
Inquiring minds and all that. Nuff said on that topic.
On other topics that I don't remember, AFeXT had this to vomit:
Die bitch! Die!
SLAP! <-there's a bitchslap for your punk ass
lol, uhmm..hmm... I've got a big thing coming
up, that VD readers might like (not
BlairWoods related)
Dude, the only big thing you have coming up is your boyfriend's d - uh
never mind, hehehe <g> I'm sure AFeXT will share all with us when he
deems the time to be right. And in response to AFeXT's offer to fuck
Goatboy last issue, Goatboy had this to say:
I'll try anything, once.
OK. Maybe AFeXT really does have "a big thing coming up" hehehehe. But,
uh, Goaty I know you've been under tremendous stress as of late but
weigh this out in yer mind:
Davinder -- AFeXT
(beautiful woman) (ick)
I shouldn't have to say any more (and I say that never having seen
AFeXT).
In unrelated news... Anti-Press has a new issue out and it's damn good.
Better than this piece of shite you're reading now. But that's not
saying much really is it? Trust me though, it's good - real good.
Check it out at low bandwidth. And disregard all the rumours you hear
about A-P getting stuck in a chimney of some seedy store - they're
*probably* not true.
Anyways, I have a fucker of a headache and I don't want to talk to you
anymore. So read the issue or delete it or whatever - I don't care.
But remember this - while Jesus may love you, everyone else thinks
you're a jerk. Enjoy the issue.
:: QUOTABLE ::
"must go, thanks for the giggles."
-Angie C.
"My bum farted!"
-Sasha aged 3
:: PORNHOLE TRUE NEWSSTORIES ::
I was listening to the news the other day when they told of some loser
who actually got stuck in the chimney of a porn store. Seems the moron
tried to break in Santa like and managed to get down about 2 feet below
the roof before he got stuck (maybe he got a hard-on?). Anyways the
fire department had to be brought in to knock hole in the wall to free
the guy - A 33 year old male. He was charged with b&e, intent and
breach of parole. He was probably a Yank. Probably lived in Plattsburgh
to boot <g>.
:: WAKE ME WHEN IT'S OVER - BY BUNNIE23 ::
Yes folks, with only 38 days to go VD's got its very first why2kay
poem! Woohoo!!! Read it and weep baby...(-Ed)
Wake Me When It's Over by bunnie23
----------------------------------
I want to see a movie about Y2K
where nothing much happens
and it's just another day.
No panic in the streets
or people running amok
maybe a few sleepy drunks
get squashed by a garbage truck
All the millennium hype
leaves me cold
and I could type
about how dull it is
until I get very old
I think I've made my point
Y2K is so boring
I'll be sleeping peacefully
(but not snoring)
hello bunniee
http://www.dangermedia.org/bunniee
:: NAME CHANGE SHITE ::
Someone sent me this scan of an actual (as far as I can tell) personal
add placed in some US (of course) paper. Here's what it said:
"Notice is hereby given that an application will be made
to the Director of Vital Statistics for a change of name,
pursuant to the provisions of the "Name Act" by me: Todd
Corbett of 9290-148 A St. as follows: To change my name
from TODD ALLAN CORBETT to HEYWOOD JABLOWME. Dated this
6 day of OCTOBER, 1998."
Bwahahahahha Hmmm...too bad this guy didn't know about LET'S ASK ANGIE
cause that sounds like a viable question... I bet he's well versed about
bovine spunk.
:: STEAL SOMETHING DAY - FROM THE OPIRGT-ACRAG LIST ::
This item is self explanitory. My wife received it and forwarded it to me
and I forwarded it to you and so on and so on...
To: opirgt-acrag@lists.tao.ca <opirgt-acrag@lists.tao.ca>
Date: November 15, 1999 7:17 PM
Subject: san: Steal Something Day! (fwd)
Celebrate
STEAL SOMETHING DAY
November 26, 1999
Participate by participating!
a shameless 24-hour stealing spree!
http://tao.ca/~lombrenoire
For the past eight years, a few self-described "culture jammers" from
Adbusters Magazine have dubbed the last Friday in November "Buy Nothing
Day."
>From their stylish home base in Vancouver's upscale suburb of
Kitsilano, the Adbusters' brain trust has encouraged conscientious
citizens worldwide to "relish [their] power as a consumer to change the
economic environment." In their words, Buy Nothing Day "[p]roves how
empowering it is to step out of the consumption stream for even a day."
The geniuses at Adbusters have managed to create the perfect feel-good,
liberal, middle-class activist non-happening. A day when the more money
you make, the more influence you have (like every other day). A day
which, by definition, is insulting to the millions of people worldwide
who are too poor or marginalized to be considered "consumers."
It's supposed to be a 24-hour moratorium on spending, but ends up being
a moralistic false-debate about whether or not you should really buy
that loaf of bread today or ... wait for it ... tomorrow!
Well, this year, while the Adbusters cult enjoys yet another Buy
Nothing Day, accompanied by their fancy posters, stickers, TV and radio
advertisements and slick webpages, a few self-described anarcho-
situationists from Montreal's East End are inaugurating Steal
Something Day.
Unlike Buy Nothing Day, when people are asked to "participate by not
participating," Steal Something Day demands that we "participate by
participating." Instead of downplaying or ignoring the capitalists,
CEOs, landlords, small business tyrants, bosses, PR hacks, yuppies,
media lapdogs, corporate bureaucrats, politicians and cops who are
primarily responsible for misery and exploitation in this world, Steal
Something Day demands that we steal from them, without discrimination.
The Adbusters' intelligentsia tell us that they're neither "left nor
right," and have proclaimed a non-ideological crusade against
over consumption. Steal Something Day, on the other hand, identifies
with the historic and contemporary resistance against the causes of
capitalist exploitation, not its symptoms. If you think over
consumption is scary, wait until you hear about capitalism and
imperialism.
Unlike the misplaced Buy Nothing Day notion of consumer empowerment,
Steal Something Day promotes empowerment by urging us to collectively
identify the greedy bastards who are actually responsible for promoting
misery and boredom in this world. Instead of ignoring them, Steal
Something Day encourages us to make their lives as uncomfortable as
possible.
As we like to say in Montreal: de'ranger les riches dans leurs niches!
And remember, we're talking about stealing, not theft. Stealing is
just. Theft is exploitative. Stealing is when you take a yuppie's BMW
for a joyride, and crash into a parked Mercedes just for the hell of
it. Theft is when you take candy from a baby's mouth. Stealing is the
re-distribution of wealth from rich to poor Theft is making profits at
the expense of the disadvantaged and the natural environment. Stealing
is an unwritten a tax on the rich. Theft is taxing the poor to
subsidize the rich. Stealing is nothing more than a tax on the rich.
There is solidarity in stealing, but property is nothing but theft.
So, don't pay for that corporate newspaper, but steal all of them from
the box. Get some friends together and go on a "shoplifting "spree at
the local chain supermarket or upscale mall. With an even larger mob,
get together and steal from the local chain book or record store.
Pilfer purses and wallets from easily identified yuppies and business
persons. Skip out on rent. Get a credit card under a fake name and
don't pay. Keep what you can use, and give away everything else in the
spirit of mutual aid that is the hallmark of Steal Something Day.
Download our detourned poster <http://tao.ca/~lombrenoire>, make copies
and stick it up wherever you can. And don't forget, send your scamming
and stealing tips to us at <lombrenoire@tao.ca>.
See you next Steal Something Day which, unlike Buy Nothing, happens
every day of the year.
(I downloaded the posted and put it on the outside of my office door.
I fully expect someone to steal it <g> -Ed.)
:: ANAGRAMSHITE FROM THE WORMHOLE-LIST ::
I got this little gem from the wormhole (wormhole-list@wormhole.org)
list I'm on. It's pretty neat.
> This is really spooky.....
>
> An anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made
> by or rearranging the letters of another word or
> phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone
> out there either has way too much time to waste or is
> deadly at Scrabble.
>
> Word When you rearrange the letters
> --------------------------------------------------------
> Dormitory Dirty Room
> Desperation A Rope Ends It
> The Morse Code Here come Dots
> Slot Machines Cash Lost in 'em
> Animosity Is No Amity
> Mother-in-law Woman Hitler
> Snooze Alarms Alas! No More Z's
> Alec Guinness Genuine Class
> Semolina Is No Meal
> The Public Art Galleries Large Picture Halls, I Bet
> A Decimal Point I'm a Dot in Place
> Eleven plus two Twelve plus one
> Contradiction Accord not in it
> Astronomer Moon Starer
> Princess Diana End Is A Car Spin
>
> AND HERE IS THE MOST INTRIGUING PART
> Year Two Thousand A Year To Shut Down
:: AMAZON.MORON.COMSHITE ::
I happened to be researching some Tarot card decks and followed a few
links to an item on sale through amazon.com. Those of you familiar
with amazon know that anyone can post reviews of items for sale there.
Well, what follows below are the actual comments, typos and abuse of
the English language unedited, from a moron reviewer of a very cool
Tarot deck. I've read this about a dozen times and I still can't make
heads or tails of it. Must be one of those right wing religious bozos
from down south...(no offence A-P I meant further south <g>)
> re: Barbara Walker Tarot Deck
> A reader from tropical california , September 29, 1999 tarot cards
> are very hurtful and zero life rate-1to100+ Reason why tarot crds are
> games which come true and ,just as cartoons artists they they use as
> witchcraft to makes come to show cast injoynment! in profit of those
> of the artists even cartoons ..which are just one whom makes the big
> profit ,for them in get ussed for wear sex in contrail off the net in
> governmemt power blue angles art flying. to clear that up wicked is
> those whome think they loved thier arts acting and cartoons to profit
> in the tropical lands they call earth past in future In hell in out
> on the profits ones like I debra feel just at no joke or fools in
> those of artsist hit and ,injury thier own think love for theirs
> angles fly in they do,also catoons do just like tarot cards do late
> go of the art you sont want a live ever say good by late it die out
> !dont show it ever a gane for it was just a hateful game you'll injoy
> playing .ALSO CANT MAKE IT IN A WORLD MONEY IS ALWAYS OWED IN LIFE IS
> NOT LIFE!and I want out!!!!!1111,Idont want to play the game of barry
> a. michelle please help stop the conviction hate! this toy as my
> exfreinds raged me very ugly great.Inot one to do with out rape our
> wet to put out a lie ! so they live so many lies.
>
> sincerely
>
> reboe Debra thedarkness
And then her head exploded -Ed.
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. If you want VD delivered
to your mailbox, send an empty email to: v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
Conversely, if you don't want VD, figure it out (it has something to do
with empty mail and v_d-unsubscribe@makelist.com - duh).
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to
v_d@iname.com or don't.
Next issue December 11/99
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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