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Viewer Discretion vol. 1 issue 23 June 22:99
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 23 vol. 1 June 22/99
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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T h e r e a r e 1 9 2 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . .
In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
HORROR BY JOHN TREACY
HORROR BY HUMANS
TRYING TO KILL JESUS! SUBMITTED VIA -WORMZ- MAILING LIST
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "all over the map" issue. Well, after a much needed
break, after dealing with children's bouts of tonsillitis, eye
infections and chickenpox - all within 48 hours of each other, VD is
back spewing forth the shite we spew just for you. Uh huh. Not a lot
happening around now that 2 out of 3 kiddies have left for a 3 night/4
day trip to a horse ranch. It's actually quite quiet around here...
I heard that Stephen King had one of his novels happen to him. Kathy
Bates ran him over in a truck that had a mind of its own with a rabid
dog inside. A-P thinks we should start a collection to pay his hospital
bills seeing as he only got a couple of million for his last advance...
Morbus, in his ever expanding Disobey World Domination plans, has
managed to somehow weasel his way into Time magazine. One of his
Disobey projects, NetSlaves is featured on page 47 of the latest
issue... I wonder who he slept with to get that...<g>
Mail from the last non-issue includes these words from Goatboy about
the hiddenstupidsecret message:
> > eGroups Spotlight:
> > "The Eyepatch Wearers Mailing List" - Talk to others who
> > either wear eyepatches or find them attractive.
> > http://clickhere.egroups.com/click/111
>
> The internet really sucks for stupidity.
Yup. It's true. The Internet is the old infinite number of monkeys and
typewriters theory proved wrong...big time. Just look at VD...
And AFeX had this to say:
> You bastard!
Bite me.
And in even older mail Angie had this to say about Goatboy's phallic
veggie story a couple of issues ago:
> GOATBOY GOT A STRAP-ON!!!
>
> *ksnort*
>
> makes me wanna strap on my own and stroke my power trip
And she likes to wear stiletto heels and walk on guy's genitals too.
Really. There's a video of her doing it online somewhere...I mean
that was you Ang wasn't it? <g>
Isn't it cool when women *ksnort*?
In other news - Dallas Stars won a hollow victory. Boo. Hiss. The NHL
blew it big time. Buffalo was robbed.
Anyways, here comes some more VD shite - do with it what ye shall...
:: QUOTABLE ::
"It's a sad reality that the smell human beings produce when they are
burned is the same as that of the dried squid when it is grilled."
-Mr. Hiroshi Sawachika - Hiroshima survivor
"JAMES: And you had sex with all of these men in cars? Only in cars?
HELEN: Yes. I didn't plan it that way.
JAMES: And did you fantasize that Vaughan was photographing all these
sex acts? As though they were traffic accidents?
HELEN: Yes. (laughs) They felt like traffic accidents."
-excerpt from the screenplay of Crash by David Cronenberg
:: HORROR BY JOHN TREACY ::
Vampires
**
Year: 1998
Rated: R
Runtime: 107 minutes
Directed by John Carpenter
Written by Don Jakoby
Production Company: Tri Star
Body Count: Unconfirmed (40+)
James Woods as Jack Crow
Daniel Baldwin as Montoya
Sheryl Lee as Katrina
Thomas Ian Griffith as Valek
"They Suck"
I suppose I should start this review talking about John Carpenter and
his legendary status and "Halloween" and how it (bullshit) was
ruined (Bullshit) by it's sequels (BULLSHIT). And how he introduced
Jamie Lee Curtis to the world (and I care because... ). But I'm not.
John Carpenter has directed some good films and some bad ones but it
makes me sick to hold him up as this template for genre directors. He
directed the scariest film ever but it's been downhill from there.
Not straight down but there will never be another "Halloween." Y'know
what really sucks, I just did EXACTLY what I didn't want to do... and
I'm not erasing it.
"Vampires" a.k.a. "From Dusk 'Till Dawn-John Carpenters' everybody on
the dance floor mix" is a pretty sucky movie. Especially considering
it's a major studio project. I suppose it's on a different level of
suck as say "Cthulu Mansion" but it sucks never-the-less (yes it
sucks less than Cthulu Mansion asshead, it's a figure of speech). One
could say that "From Dusk 'Till Dawn" was highly derivative of John
Steakley's book "Vampire$" from which "Vampires" was based and so
the movie of the book can't be a rip off of the movie which already
ripped off the book. But in the reference-pointless world of movies
where the only thing I can remember about yesterday is "...the ball is
blue..." "Vampires" is nothing more than "From Dusk 'Till Dawn" with
all the fun and pretty much all the enjoyment sucked out of it. Sure
there were the religious overtones of the church and it's.... wait
those were in "From Dusk 'Till Dawn" too, except Quentin Tarintino
explored religion on a much more personal and deep level with the help
of Harvey Kitel. Well, what about that badass James Woods as Jack
Crow... Jack Crow wasn't nearly as cool as George Clooney's Seth
Gecko. Sure, Jack was meaner but in a real large-type asshole sense,
there was nothing cool or even interesting about him. Yeah, but the
Vampires kicked ass, right... no not really, they looked EXACTLY like
what Jack Crow said they wouldn't be. Y'know, the popular
"...Euro-trash... fags..." line. Well, they we're just that. Well,
what about that body count, huh! 50 dead guys, that's gotta count for
something. Well, ok ya got me there the best parts of the whole movie
were its multiple massacre scenes (like the one in from dusk 'till
dawn only not as creative, but there were three of them). They were
too blurred and hazy though, you couldn't get a decent body count if
you watched the whole movie in slow mo. So even those had something
wrong with them. Then the isolated incidents of violence were so
shitty, the effects in those scenes sucked, the exploding vampires
and the assorted mangling. However, the WORST chain of events in
the whole movie was the biting and healing of Stephen Balwin.
Christ, that shunck the hooker bit outta his neck looked like a big
paint chip and then his 'sealing' of the wound with the hot gun
barrel would have been ok, if the gun barrel wasn't 5 feet away from
the wound!!! I was NOT impressed KNB you guys usually do such a good
job, like on "From 'Dusk Till Dawn."
Two members of Jack's team are action film anti-heroes. Chico (Thomas
Rosales) from "Running Man" who thought his security band was
deactivated and paid the price of an exploding head. Who could
forget Arnold crying out "Chico! Chico! Noooooooooooooooooooo..!" as
Chico ran his fat ass into certain death. And 'El Scorpio' (Henry
Kingi) from "Predator 2." He was the coke-fiend gang leader at the
beginning who opened that golden Buddha Brady bunch idol thing full of
pure uncut and took a gigantic sniff, exclaiming, "Come'n get it...
the Scorpio is redeeeeeee!" He wound up falling off a building and
exploding into a mass of blood and bile. Not a genre moment, but
THATS entertainment! Better than this movie.
:: HORROR BY HUMANS ::
This section is from the document '/obi/book/Hiroshima.Survivors/2'.
Found a long time ago on alt.activism.soc.culture.japan
90/07/30 10:35:14 SYSOP HIROSHIMA_WITNESS_No.1-1
The first atomic bomb actually used in war time was dropped on
Hiroshima on August 6, 1945 killing 130,000 to 150,000 people by the
end of the year. Those who survived the bombing are rapidly ageing now
at struggling for many years. The Hiroshima Peace and Culture
Foundation has decided the new video tape, the testimony of 108 bomb
victims to commemorate the International Peace Year 1986 to record the
precious experiences of these survivors to be handed down to the future
generations.
Mr. Hiroshi Sawachika was 28 years old when the bomb was dropped. He
was an army doctor stationed at the army headquarters in Ujina. When he
was exposed, he was inside the building at the headquarters, 4.1 km
from the hypocenter. Being rather far from the hypocenter, he was not
seriously injured. Afterwards, he was very busy getting medical
treatment to the survivors.
MR. SAWACHIKA: I was in my office. I had just entered the room and said
"Good morning." to colleagues and I was about to approach my desk when
outside it suddenly turned bright red. I felt very hot on my cheeks.
Being the chief of the room, I shouted to the young men and women in
the room that they should evacuate. As soon as I cried, I felt
weightless as if I were an astronaut. I was then unconscious for 20 or
30 seconds. When I came to, I realized that everybody including myself
was lying at one side of the room. Nobody was standing. The desks and
chairs had also blown off to one side. At the windows, there was no
window glass and the window frames had been blown out as well. I went
to the windows to find out where the bombing had taken place. And I
saw the mushroom cloud over the gas company. The sound and shock
somehow suggested that the bomb had been dropped right over the gas
company. I still had no idea what had happened. And I kept looking
towards the gas company. After a while, I realized that my white shirt
was red all over. I thought it was funny because I was not injured at
all. I looked around and then realized that the girl lying near by was
heavily injured, with lots of broken glass stuck all over her body. Her
blood had splashed and made stains on my shirt. In a few minutes, I
heard my name called. I was told to go to the headquarters where there
were lots of injured persons waiting. I went there and I started to
give treatment with the help of nurses and medical course men. We first
treated the office personnel for their injuries. Most of them had
broken glass and pieces of wood stuck into them. We treated them one
after another. Afterwards, we heard the strange noise. It sounded as if
a large flock of mosquitoes were coming from a distance. We looked out
of the window to find out what was happening. We saw that citizens from
the town were marching towards us. They looked unusual. We understood
that the injured citizens were coming towards us for treatment. But
while, we thought that there should be Red Cross Hospitals and another
big hospitals in the center of the town. So why should they come here,
I wondered, instead of going there. At that time, I did not know that
the center of the town had been so heavily damaged. After a while, with
the guide of the hospital personnel, the injured persons reached our
headquarters. With lots of injured people arriving, we realized just
how serious the matter was. We decided that we should treat them also.
Soon afterwards, we learned that many of them had been badly burned. As
they came to us, they held their hands aloft. They looked like they
were ghosts. We made the tincture for that treatment by mixing edible
peanut oil and something. We had to work in a mechanical manner in
order to treat so many patients. We provided one room for the heavily
injured and another for the slightly injured. A treatment was limited
to the first aid because there were no facilities for the patients to
be hospitalized. Later on, when I felt that I could leave the work to
other staff for a moment, I walked out of the treatment room and went
into the another room to see what had happened. When I stepped inside,
I found the room filled with the smell that was quite similar to the
smell of dried squid when it has been grilled. The smell was quite
strong. It's a sad reality that the smell human beings produce when
they are burned is the same as that of the dried squid when it is
grilled. The squid - we like so much to eat. It was a strange feeling,
a feeling that I had never had before. I can still remember that smell
quite clearly. Afterwards, I came back to the treatment room and walked
through the rows of people who were either seriously injured or waiting
to be treated. When I felt someone touch my leg, it was a pregnant
woman. She said that she was about to die in a few hours. She said, "I
know that I am going to die. But I can feel that my baby is moving
inside. It wants to get out of the womb. I don't mind if I had died.
But if the baby is delivered now, it does not have to die with me.
Please help my baby live." There were no obstetricians there. There was
no delivery room. There was no time to take care of her baby. All I
could do was to tell her that I would come back later when everything
was ready for her and her baby. Thus I cheered her up and she looks so
happy. But I have to return to the treatment work. So I resumed to work
taking care of the injured one by one. There were so many patients. I
felt as if I was fighting against the limited time. It was late in the
afternoon towards the evening. And image of that pregnant woman never
left my mind. Later, I went to the place where I had found her before,
she was still there lying in the same place. I patted her on the
shoulder, but she said nothing. The person lying next to her said that
a short while ago, she had become silent. I still recalled this
incident partly because I was not able to fulfil the last wish of this
dying young woman. I also remember her because I had a chance to talk
with her however short it was.
INTERVIEWER: How many patients did you treat on August 6?
ANSWER: Well, at least 2 or 3 thousands on that very day if you include
those patients whom I gave all directions to. I felt that as if once
that day started, it never ended. I had to keep on and on treating the
patients forever. It was the longest day of my life. Later on, when I
had time to reflect on that day, I came to realize that we, doctors
learned a lot through the experience, through the suffering of all
those people. It's true that the lack of medical knowledge, medical
facilities, integrated organization and so on prevented us from giving
sufficient medical treatment. Still there was a lot for us, medical
doctors to learn on that day. I learned that the nuclear weapons which
gnaw the minds and bodies of human beings should never be used. Even
the slightest idea using nuclear arms should be completely exterminated
in the minds of human beings. Otherwise, we will repeat the same
tragedy. And we will never stop being ashamed of ourselves.
:: TRYING TO KILL JESUS! ::
This was sent to me from Patrick via the -wormz- mailing list and
I thought it was suitable to pass on to y'all.
---
Scientific Journal of Pharmacy- Vol 5:6
A scientific breakthrough in the treatment of schizophrenia has caused
outrage in the church community.
Sanizac(tm) from Pfizer Ltd, responsible for the anti-impotence pill
Viagra, has been used in medical trials over the last 18 months for
the treatment of mental illnesses. Although the results were not the
success that was predicted an amazing side effect was found that
could have amazing repercussions.
"We have a situation here that could lead to a cultural change as
significant as when Darwin's infamous 'Origin of the Species' was
published." Claimed a spokesman for Pfizer Pharmaceuticals.
During a drug trial, healthy volunteers take the treatments under
strict supervision which enables pharmacists to monitor any
adverse side effects. It was noticed by a processing clerk that
some of the volunteers seemed to have a 'crisis of faith' during
the trial and afterwards claimed that they did not believe in God
any more.
The trial was repeated and it was found to have an 87% success rate in
males and a 91% success rate in females. All other instances lead to
severe doubts about their faith and they considered themselves
'agnostics'
"We are not totally surprised by this discovery." Claimed leading
pharmacist Donald Rowan. "The similarities between faith and mental
illness are tenuous, but they are there."
It was this comment that sparked outrage amongst church leaders. "You
cannot equate a belief in God with that of an insane fool who hears
voices in his head!" Stated Father Terrance who lost several members
of his congregation due to the drug trial. Father Terrance is leading
a campaign to ban the drug on the grounds of 'Right to Religious
freedom!"
The drug has been given varying responses by the public.
"It's evil! It's like trying to kill Jesus! Jesus loves you, why can't
you understand!" Cried a 14 year old girl.
"If it will help our only son who was confused into joining a cult, it
can only be a good thing." Said the mother of Jamie Yasin, who is
fighting to regain her son from 'Jesus in the Stars' cult.
"Personally I see it as a shame that some people need a pill to
convince them that there is no magical 'sky pixie' in their lives."
Said John Baker, self confessed atheist.
Sanizac(tm) is due to be available on prescription by late November
provided the government grants a licence for this controversial cure.
--
I wonder how many preachers would be bitching to keep it off the
shelves if it strengthened people's belief in doG? As it stands now I
can think of few fundaMENTAList countries they could ship that shit to
in large-assed dosages. Come to think of it I know a few relatives
that could benefit from a little unbelief...
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. If you want VD delivered
to your mailbox, send an empty email to: v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
Conversely, if you don't want VD, figure it out.
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to
v_d@iname.com or don't.
Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth -
http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm
Because Morbus is the only person I know who can type while peeling a
banana with his toes.
Morbus doesn't appear courtesy of Turok 2
Goatboy doesn't appear courtesy of schoolsux.com
Next issue July 6/99
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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