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Viewer Discretion vol. 2 issue 25 June 20:00
__ __
\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 25 vol. 2 June 20/00
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
__ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __
__ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __
__ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __
In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLES
BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND - BY KIMMA (FROM THE BUNNIEE LIST)
MISDIRECTED MAIL SHITE FOLLOW-UP - BY GOATBOY
HELL NO, HE WON'T GO, EH - SUBMITTED BY I FORGET WHO
STEPHEN KING SHITE
SPINAL TAP SHITE
RECENT EBAY PURCHASES
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "Devil Spat" issue. Really. Devil spat as in what that
skinny-assed-vampire from New Hampshire, aka Morbus, had to say in the
last issue of his Chico's Groove thingy:
TWO NEW VIEWER DISCRETIONS: I can't deal with Viewer Discretion
anymore. It's nice to know that IGNORE the HYPE (the sailor moon
who puts out VD) doesn't read the Groove - it gives me an avenue
to vent about the crap he's been putting out. Pornography in the
latest issue? Come on, what the hell was that all about? I'm
tellin' ya, I think this was a bad decision. Fucking Canadians -
should have known.
3 words Morbus - TOO FUCKING BAD! Talk about succumbing to bogus Yank
family values pressure shite. Sheesh. I also heard that Disobey.com is
going to become a devote Christian soapbox sponsored by none other than
Jerry Fallwell. Expect Devil Shat to change it's name to Jesus Shat in
the very near future. Uh huh. You heard it here first folks. Adios Mr.
Morbus... And oh yeah - change yer underwear and blow yer nose Morbus. We
can smell you all the way to Plattsburg. <g>
That last line was a not-so-veiled reference to A-P. <g>
And speaking of A-P and Morbus...has anyone been reading Morbus' DNN news
thingy at the top of disobey.com? The man is obsessed with that spider-
goat thing. What's really interesting though is that the spider-goat is
located in Plattsburg. Hmmm...who else do we know in Plattsburg? Why A-P
of course. And now come to think of it, Morbus started on about the
spider-goat right around the same time disobey began publishing
Anti-Press Ezine....Coincidence? I think not. I think Morbus and A-P
have been doing some not some conjugal cajoling together.... Remember,
you heard it here first...
I just found out that some punk-goth-wannabes hate VD. Hmmm. My ass
bleeds for them. Too bad they unsubbed before I found out. Punk bitch.
Anyways, enough of that shite. Try this new improved shite...
Regarding my little anti-spam rant and 1-800 number Lenny had this bit
of wisdom for us all:
> the 1-800 number idea of yours is ok but
> eveytime i get spam with a 1-800 number I
> add them to my fax software phone book under the spam group
> then I fax something to them. I have it set to try 10 times
> so everytime some fuckhead sends me spam with
> a 1-800 he causes all of them to get spammed back
> if everyone did this thier phones would be tied up
> 24 hrs a day
Sounds like a great idea...can't wait to try it here. That's what I love
about VD - the sharing of ideas... <g>
And still more on the spamshite thingy - Moira Y. had this bit to
contribute:
Hey VD I decided to help you fight the good fight. I
dialed the spam number and then let them record Howard
Stern debating Enrique Englaisies (?sp) singing
abilities. That recorded tape they have of that man
singing is enough torture for anyone!
Well, having heard the same bit on Stern I can agree with Moira that
Whoeverias Englassiass was truly horrible and hard to listerd and someone
taped that live feed. He was so off key that he was singing jazz... Ben
Folds Fives musical-fart-like-nuances sound Angelic compared to
Whoeverias. See what having a famous rich-assed father can do for you?
Anyways, here's a whack of other spam numbers I received since the last
issue of VD for y'all - most, if not all, said to call them 24 hours a
day, 7 days a week...and with auto redial that just may be possible...<g>
1-800-288-7363
1-800-995-0796 ext 2588
1-800-242-0363 ext 9101
1-800-930-1398
1-888-834-5359 ext 858
1-800-457-0481
1-800-345-9708
1-888-248-6515
In news completely-unrelated-to-anything-else-here - my wife graduated
with her second degree last week - a Bachelor of Social Work - congrats
Mary! I had our 3 year son Sasha at the convocation with me and when all
the graduates began to enter into the hall, all wearing the long black
robes and caps, Sasha's eyes got real big and says to me, in complete 3
year old seriousness with a touch of fear: "Daddy, where are all the
witches coming from?" I explained about the robes, etc. and then pointed
out were mommy would be coming in and he says (again with the big eyes):
"Is mommy a witch too daddy?"... Only sometimes kid, only sometimes...<g>
And now my wife begins work on her Masters degree...
And finally.... Today is my daughter's 9th birthday. Happy Birthday kid!
May there be many, many more....
Anyways, lets nail this issue to a wall and call it a diploma...
:: QUOTABLES ::
"The Issue Could Have Had Cleaner Underwear"
-Morbus from Chico's Groove #ytfif
"I have tons of snot in my nose."
-Morbus from Devil Shat #Sixty Five
"fuck fucketty fuck fuck!"
-Goatboy
"Uh oh, I'm falling with style! I'm an action figure."
-Sasha aged 3 & 10/12ths
"They can take my computer, but they'll never take my hotmail!!!!!!!!!!!"
-Moira Y.
:: BECAUSE YOU'RE MY FRIEND - BY KIMMA (FROM THE BUNNIEE LIST) ::
When you are sad.............I will get you drunk and help you plot
revenge against the scum-sucking bastard who made you sad.
When you are scared.........I will laugh at you and tease you about it
every chance I get.
When you are worried.........I will tell you how much worse it could be
and to quit complaining.
When you are confused........I will use little words to explain it to
your dumb ass.
When you are sick.........I will hold your hair while you pay homage to
the porcelain god.
When you fall......I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath...............I pledge till the end.
Why you may ask?..............Because you're my friend.
lurve
kimmah
http://dangermedia.org | http://www.insomnia.org/~absinthe
i'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
:: MISDIRECTED MAIL SHITE FOLLOW-UP - BY GOATBOY ::
Here is the text of an email Goatboy sent to the author of the original
misdirected mail shite note...
Date: Tue, 6 Jun 2000 12:22:59 -0400 (EDT)
From: Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro <leandro@scriba.org>
To: neil@yorku.ca
Cc: toots_30@hotmail.com
Subject: But it is.
>The crap you are talking about is just stupid!!
First of all, how about quoting what the "crap" is all about? Is that
too hard?
>I am a heterosexual woman and love my guy.
I am hetero too, and I love my guy as well. What's your point?
>I'm not sure where some of your readers are coming from, but yuck!?!
"All passengers boarding flight 218 for Yuck, please go to gate 9."
>How can you say heterosexauality is abnormal,
But it is. The Bible alone has well over 100 admonishments for
heterosexuals and just a few for homosexuals. Hence, there must be
something wrong with heterosexuals.
>that tells me something about you!!
Which is? It's not hard to bitch back and give no views. What's hard is
to bitch back and give a good come back. Please try harder.
>I went to an almost completely women university
Oh. I'm sorry.
>and I happen to love men
My girlfriend and I love men too.
>and have had some great experiences with them. I have also
>had some terrible experiences with women.
Really? I've had wonderful experiences with both. You don't know what
you are missing!
>I can tell you that I think two women is just as sick as two
>men and if anyone has a problem with that then they can e-mail
>me. At toots_30@hotmail.com
I've just e-mailed your comments to a few gay and lesbian activists sites
and I'm sure they will be more than happy to inform you of how.. oh, how
to say this without being insulting AND keeping it at a low level? Hmmm..
>I'm proud to be heterosexual and I'm tired of all the gays and lesbians
>thinking they have the right to call me abnormal. I'm the normal one!!!
"I'm the normal one!"
- Adolf Hitler, 1941
>And I enjoy hetersexual sex!!
Sex in the heter? Which plane of heter-existance?
>and I don't apologize to anyone!
You should start. Your spelling alone makes people cringe.
>So eat shit and die homos!!
You are bitter just because you don't get laid enough. After all, as a
good Christian woman, sex is a big no-no, cuz every sperm is sacred.
>I lived with 85 women, some of them were really
>gorgeous, but being a real woman, I was not attracted to any of them but
>I am still friends with a lot of them.
We all know that women are all lesbians and they all like to impress
each other by having better dresses, bigger breast and a fancy haircut.
Women don't try to look pretty for their man. They try to look better
than the other woman on the street. It's a way to say "fuck you and die,
bitch". Of course, that can be hate. And hate is nothing more than a
variation of love. Hence, women are homosexual.
Wow, how did I come up with that theory. I astonish myself.
>Don't tell me that I have lesbian Tendencies!! What a crock!
>You are just trying to justify what you are doing!!
Uh oh. Someone that gets this inflamed about a conversation like this
must have some serious insecurities and is trying to discover the real
woman in herself.. heh.
>Nice try! I love men, and can appreciate the beauty of any body but I'm
>normal and only get turned on by nice male bods.
People that get turned on by same sex partners are normal too. If they
were abnormal, God wouldn't have made them. It's not a choice. You don't
like'em because you were born hetero. Those born homo don't. Wake up.
>I don't care what you do but don't try to tell me I'm not normal,
But you aren't.
Look at all the venom you threw back.
And of course, the Nazi-mentality with the words of hate. If you are
such a religious person as you claim to be, would God like your
behaviour?
>beacause as much as you spout about homosexuality it is still sick and
>abnormal and you will never have what I have.
If it means being anything like you, I'm turning homo right away.
>A great heterosexual relationship, I am offended that you even try
>to suggest that heterosexuality is abnormal.
When was the last time you got any?
>I think you had better start reading your bible and realizing that
>you are going to hell real quik!!
Did you READ the Bible? No, I mean for real. Check how many times
heterosexual behaviour is condemned.
>Got a problem with that E-Mail Me Back at toots_30@hotmail.com
Whaccha gonna do? Beat me up?
Shaddaup.
---
Leandro Asnaghi-Nicastro
Editor in Chief
Capital of Nasty Electronic Magazine
http://www.capnasty.org
"My other signature is a Mercedes"
:: HELL NO, HE WON'T GO, EH - SUBMITTED BY I FORGET WHO ::
A young Canadian boy is being held in Miami today by a group of Canadian
expatriates who refuse to let him be returned to his father in Canada.
The boy, one Ernie MacDougal, was visiting Disney World with his mother
when she fell out of the ride on Splash Mountain. After what some say is
a miraculous survival aided by members of the Miami Dolphins, he reached
the end of the ride, where he was interviewed by Disney security. Asked
repeatedly where he was from, he kept answering 'Saskatoon Saskatchewan'.
Taking this as the babblings of delirium, the boy was turned over to Dr.
Phil McCracken, the physician on duty at the park at that time. As luck
would have it, Dr. McCracken is a Canadian who had himself fled the
tyranny of having the Canadian government tell him how to run his medical
practice, and had come to the United States in hopes of having large
publicly traded corporations tell him how to run his medical practice.
Recognizing that the boy was a fellow countryman, his family swept the
boy away to their home in Miami and called the media to announce their
intention to prevent the boy from being returned to a country where he
could not be free to take a gun to school to defend himself against the
other 6 year old kids with guns. Other Canadian expatriates have formed a
human shield around the house, linking arms and shouting 'Hell no, he
won't go, eh'. The boy's father in Saskatoon has issued a public demand
for his return, but as yet has shown no sign of willingness to travel to
Miami. State Department experts on Canada believe that he is not allowed
to leave Canada until he manages to complete a multipage passport
application in flawless French. Ironically, the boy's mother survived her
fall but was later found shot in the Disney parking lot, where muggers
mistook her for a German tourist. Further developments as they occur.
:: STEPHEN KING SHITE ::
The first item is ripped from Zentertainment - www.ZENtertainment.com
According to Stephen King's official website, George Romero (Night of the
Living Dead) will adapt and direct an adaptation of the author's THE GIRL
WHO LOVED TOM GORDON. Additionally, Scott Hicks (Snow Falling on Cedars,
Shine) may be directing Anthony Hopkins in an adaptation of King's HEARTS
IN ATLANTIS, which will feature adaptations of that book's short stories
LOW MEN IN YELLOW COATS and WHY WE'RE IN VIETNAM.
http://www.stephenking.com
And this is ripped off from the June 15th Wired News:
Stephen King's fans are definitely e-xcited about his idea to offer an
unfinished novel in e-installments.
In the last four days, more than 7,000 King fans voted on the author's
website after King asked his readers whether they'd be willing to pay $1
per instalment to download the remainder of The Plant, an epistolary
novel he began in the 1980s.
"The results were overwhelmingly positive," King's assistant, Marsha
DeFilippo, said. "There were only 400 negative votes.
The first instalment will be available for download in mid-July. An
update specifying the exact date will be posted on July 8.
Last week, King surprised fans and the publishing industry when he posted
an open letter on his site to his readers.
"Dear Constant Reader," the letter began, going on to describe the novel
King gave up when other projects intervened.
King proposed fans pay $1 per instalment and suggested everyone be on
the honor system. He also warned he would cease publication if too many
people stole the story.
And then he asked his fans to vote on two questions: "Do you think I
should offer this book?", and "Can I trust people to pay?"
Thousands of fans offered their opinions during the voting. One woman
even promised to send in an extra dollar to make up for someone who
didn't.
Adam Rothberg, spokesman for Simon & Schuster -- King's publishing house
-- said his company is not involved in The Plant and is not concerned
about what King is doing.
"This effort reflects Stephen King's endless capacity to be an innovator
and experiment," Rothberg said.
But other industry analysts question whether or not King is beginning a
trend to cut publishers out of the book-selling process.
DeFilippo stated that Stephen King does not intend to become his own
publisher. Rather, the author sees this as simply something new to try.
"He is very curious about where it will lead and how people will
respond," she said.
The Plant is not finished, and might never be finished, King warns in his
letter.
:: SPINAL TAP SHITE ::
This is also ripped from Zentertainment - www.ZENtertainment.com
'SPINAL TAP' REVIVAL
The boys of SPINAL TAP will make their first performance in years on
VH1's THE LIST next Thursday, June 22nd, in an instalment hosted by
POLYMER Records Artist Relations rep Bobbi Flekman (Fran Drescher). The
appearance is just part of a major revival which includes a newly-
recorded single and a theatrical, college campus, VHS, and DVD release of
THIS IS SPINAL TAP. The DVD of SPINAL TAP is a new digital transfer,
remixed by the band and offered in 5.1 DOLBY DIGITAL, and it includes
over an hour of deleted footage and an all-new audio commentary track.
http://www.spinaltap.com
http://www.mgmhomevideo.com
:: RECENT EBAY PURCHASES ::
Cages #3 by Dave McKean
Cages #5 by Dave McKean
Cages #6 by Dave McKean
Cages #10 by Dave Mckean
:: ETC ::
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or if you just hate VD and want to send in cheap
ass stupid insults, type 'em up and send it to v_d@iname.com.
Music that inspired this issue: NIN - Woodstock 94 bootleg
The Chieftains - The Long Black Veil
The Odds - Bedbugs
Jennifer Warnes - Famous Blue Raincoat
This issue is missing something...
Next issue July 4/00
__ _______________ _ ___________________ _ _____________________ __
__ _________________ _ ___________________ _ ___________________ __
__ ___________________ _ ___________________ _ _________________ __
Morbus wants this disclaimer shite here. Why? Ask Morbus...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
http://www.disobey.com/
TO SUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Subscribe ViewerDiscretion
TO UNSUBSCRIBE: majordomo@disobey.com BODY: Unsubscribe ViewerDiscretion
...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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