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Viewer Discretion vol. 1 issue 8 november 10:98
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 8 vol. 1 november 10/98
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
THE REEF
HORROR - BY MORBUS
NO FRILLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY
BOOKSHITE
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "seriously fucked-up carnival" issue. Why seriously
fucked-up carnival you ask? (Or don't - whatever) Well, it's mainly
because I just read that particular phrase on page 87 of Stephen King's
latest novel Bag Of Bones (no, I am not ashamed to admit I read SK and
even like what he writes) and I really liked it. It stuck with me and
seemed to closely describe my current mental state as I was reading and
thinking about what to write for this issue of VD (I can multitask!).
But it also goes deeper than that. I mean, even at the very best of
times life could be described by that above quote. One just never knows
what repercussions will follow a seemingly insignificant decision... Am
I eluding to something here? Uh, possibly...probably. But so far the
seemingly insignificant decision I made is still uh, insignificant...
More later...possibly.
Believe it or not but the issue you are reading was entirely hand
written (well, not Morbus & Goatboy's columns) before being
transcribed into 1's and 0's. See, I started my new job last week and
that meant returning the desktop PC the my previous office had so
graciously let me take home. So now my household is reduced to one
laptop (not counting the numerous older computers I have lying around
in various stages of disrepair) and my wife is using it for a school
meeting. And seeing as I was 'inspired' to start writing this issue it
was either dig out one of those wooden things filled with lead (no, not
a billyclub) and some refined wood pulp and start writing or risk
forgetting everything forever (I have a great memory but it's short
<g>). Oh well...ya I know life is harsh, poor me, yadda yadda yadda...
In completely unrelated news... Personally I'm quite pleased that Newt
Gingrich resigned last week. First off though let me say, for those of
you that don't know, I am a Canadian so I realize that my opinion of
U.S. political types falls under the category of asshole - in that
everyone has one, who cares. Anyways, my reason for being pleased with
his departure is that with Canada being so close to the U.S., it's only
natural that their political decisions have fall-out on our side of the
border and quite honestly I can live with that. But what scares me is
the prospect of someone named 'Newt' actually wielding power down south
of the border. I mean, c'mon, growing up as 'Newt' you just know this
guy got beat up. A lot. And I don't really want to be directly
attached to a country that has some extremist-revenge-of-the-nerd dink
named Newt blowing up everyone who shit in his Wheaties while growing
up. Nope. Like I said, glad he's gone. Now if someone will just uncover
that hetro-homo-transexual-beastial-kiddieporn-snuff video of Kenneth
Starr that just has to exist, well, then life would be good - still a
seriously fucked-up carnival, but good none the less... Enjoy the
issue.
:: QUOTABLE ::
"Since the soul in me is dead, Better save the skin"
-Archpoet (translated by Helen Waddell)
"Welcome to the Darwinian Monkeyhouse of the Iron Scream"
-Norman Spinrad
"The moment someone's laziness makes my life difficult, I turn into an
asshole with a cause."
-Goatboy
:: THE REEF ::
This week we have a conspiratorial piece. It's a two page
advertisement/order form for a book entitled MOONGATE: Suppressed
Findings of the U.S. Space Program The NASA-Military Cover-Up by one
William L. Brian II. Mr. Brian purports to have documented evidence of
the greatest cover-up ever perpetrated upon the American people." He
states that in his book he exposes "NASA's true link to Military Space
Operations" (this is news??), "Secret Weapons Developed Under the Cover
of the Civilian Space Program", "Suppressed Gravity Research
Discoveries", and one of my favourites, "The Moon's True Nature and
History". All this for $19.95 U.S. Tempted as I was I didn't buy the
book, I was actually hoping the author would send me a promotional copy
when I sent me note to him. Too bad. Well, if anyone out there has read
or skimmed this book drop us a line and let us know if it is worth the
read or not.
:: HORROR - BY MORBUS ::
PIN
PIN skirts the line of "Is it really horror?". In most definitions of
the word, horror brings up images of modern day movies, filled with
guts, blood, killings, and all of the assorted FX that make people
think of Scream and its ilk. People don't seem to realize that there is
a form of horror I call "insidious"... It's not in your face or the
flipping of your stomach as your eyes recoil, but rather seeps into
your head and causes you to think about the implications.
That's why most people don't consider SUSPIRIA, THE BUTCHER BOY, THE
WICKER MAN, PIN, and so on as horror movies. They don't come out and
attack you, but wait for you to attack them.
PIN starts 15 years in the future, as a group of kids stare at the
motionless figure in the window of a large mansion. Never moving, the
figure has been there since the boys remember, and furtive whispers
about it's nature run rampant. And as with boys of that age, no one is
scared, but no one dares to get closer... until their courage is
challenged.
Which is why we follow one boy as he gets closer and closer to the
mansion, eventually climbing the walls to get to the second floor
window where the figure sits. Once close enough, he looks
triumphantly back at his friends.
And then the figure, never moving, speaks.
Decelerate 15 years into the past, as the mystery of the figure
unfolds through a typical American family: a doctor husband, a
supportive wife, the testing son, and the cautious daughter. What we
are treated to is the story of those 15 years we've traversed, and the
eventual explanation of the figure in the window.
I WILL NOT ruin this movie for you. This movie I heartily recommend to
rent or own, if you can find it. Although longer than most, the story
is strong, well written, and builds up to a point where you realllly
need to go to the bathroom, but you're not willing to pause the damn
thing. Labeling PIN as a "good movie" is an understatement.
:: NO FRILLS OF OUR LIVES - BY GOATBOY ::
IT SAYS "NO PARKING"
It seems to be that school in this country is a complete waste of time.
What's the point of wasting 15 years of your life learning shit, if
when you come out you use your brain less than before? For example,
how hard is it to read a friggen sign? Apparently impossible for many
of you.
This brings me to the parking lot outside of no frills. The parking
lot is huge. You can park at least 200 cars and there would still be
plenty of space left. The only spot where one can't park it's in front
of the entrance. It's a space that would probably fit no more than
four cars. There is a rack there where customers plug the buggies in,
and those alone take half of that space. There are big words written
with yellow paint on the floor that say "no parking". There are a
total of 6 signs that clearly say "no parking".
Pretty fucking clear, you'd think.
Apparently not. There is not a day when we go to get the buggies from
outside and bring them back into the store, that someone hasn't parked
there. It's not like the parking lot is far from the store. It's just
a matter of walking, what.. 50 meters from where you parked? You
drove to the store, you could get some exercise to your fat,
overweight and cramped body.
Now, that someone parks there, really, I wouldn't care less, if it
wasn't for the buggies. And since the majority of idiots park in such
a way that make a) getting the buggies out impossible or b) bringing
them in the store just as much difficult, the guys and me flip our
nutsack in a frenzy of revengeful dick play.
The moment someone's laziness makes my life difficult, I turn into an
asshole with a cause.
Usually we are nice and ask the customer not to park there, because,
clearly, it is making it impossible for us to get the buggies out.
Now, a normal person would take their car out of there.. but no, the
assholes that shop here give you the dirty look and answer you with a
"I am a customer, so I can park where I want". Yeah, you also pay
taxes to the city, so why do those parking enforcement officers keep
putting tickets on your car?
Of course, as the customer walks into the store, feeling pretty cool
that he had the balls to tell us that, we know exactly what to do.
With a couple of guys waiting in specified locations so as to give a
quick signal when the customer returns (although usually we have plenty
of time), the rest of us grab a roll of wrapping plastic and.. start
wrapping the car. We wrap it so well that the only thing you can see
are the lower part of the wheels and a bit of the roof.
There is nothing more satisfying then watching a customer with his
hands full of grocery bags, being laughed at by other customers that
had the courtesy of parking in the correct spot, while he tried to
remove the thick plastic with his keys.
Yeah, you saved yourself walking 50 meters, but now you had to sit here
and cut through all that plastic for a good 15 minutes. Loser.
In the winter eggs work wonders. Ever tried to scrape a frozen egg
from your hood? Guess what else will peel with the egg? All the
paint. And that ensures a good dosage of rust to develop on the car.
Maybe next time we'll try gasoline.
:: BOOKSHITE ::
Kathy Koja's _Skin_. What a seriously fucked-up carnival novel.
Seriously. This novel takes the 'Modern Primitive' notion, those among
us who sport serious tribal tattoos and piercing (including but not
limited to genital piercing) to a very negative extreme. And what a
trip it is getting there. The author has obviously immersed herself in
the worlds of Survival Research Laboratories and RE/Search's Modern
Primitive book. And the story, whether you agree with the direction of
the story or not, I don't, benefits greatly from Koja's research. The
basic story is a post apocalyptic carnival of dancers, performance
artists, sculptures, blood letters, etc., that are driven by the
friendship, and destruction of that friendship, of two women; Bibi and
Tess. Bibi is constantly pushing her limits to an inevitable negative
conclusion. Tess on the other hand can see what's coming and is trying,
with no avail, to rein Bibi in. The ensuing story, tensions, etc., told
in Koja's own inimitable style, is a very dark, engrossing read. What I
don't agree with in this story is that it seems to focus entirely on
the negative aspects of this, now old, latest trend. I don't think
there are too many people who are going to take the piercing,
tattooing, body modification ideal to the extreme of lopping of limbs,
death, etc. Right from the beginning of the book it has this dark cloud
over it. Now seeing that this is the effect that the author wants, it
works. But personally I just found it a bit overwhelming and somewhat
unreal. However this doesn't stop _Skin_ from being a powerful,
enjoyable (in a perverse way) book that is well worth the time invested
in reading it.
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD from seriously fucked-up carnival workers named 'Newt'
who have dead body cavity fixations or by sending an empty email to
v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
If you have something you'd like to see in vd or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or just want to scream at someone, send a note to
v_d@iname.com
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are mine, all mine, hahahahaha.
Viewer Discretion is archived exclusively at Low Bandwidth -
http://www.disobey.com/low/listings/viewer_discretion.htm
because underneath Morbus' Devil-incarnate exterior is lot's of blood
and guts and veins and shat.
Morbus appears courtesy of disobey.com
Goatboy appears courtesy of capnasty.org
The worse thing about hand writing this issue is it is only when
writing something of this length and disjointed thought, that I come
to realize how much I use and rely on cut & paste.
Next issue November 24/98
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
Viewer Discretion and its back issues are available at:
http://www.disobey.com/text/
Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
Publication by Disobey.
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...whatever...dogs bark...but the caravan moves on.
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