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Viewer Discretion vol. 1 issue 25 July 20:99
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\ \ /_/i e w e r issue 25 vol. 1 July 20/99
\ \/| |i s c r e t i o n ISSN 1481-2266
\__| |/ v_d@iname.com
| _ |/ archived at disobey.com
|___|/ http://www.disobey.com/text/
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T h e r e a r e 1 6 4 d a y s r e m a i n i n g . . .
In this issue:
WELCOME
QUOTABLE
JESUSNEWSSHITE
BASHING MICROSLOTH
UFOSHITE
PACMAN PERFECTION
ETC
:: WELCOME ::
Welcome to the "JESUS will premiere on CBS in May 2000" issue. Really.
Read on further down to find out more...
Being on vacation plays havoc with your schedule when you forget what
day it is...Oh well, at least I'm on vacation still and you're not <g>.
On last issue's spewings A-P had this to whine about:
> But you, sir, are no historian-- or math teacher. <g> These United
> States celebrated the Bicentennial in 1976. This nation is older
> than 203. How did you come up with that figure? Man, your country
> is mathmatically [sic] screwed up from using kilometers [sic] with its
> road signs and degrees Celsius with its thermometers. Obviously, Canada
> has gone to hell thanks to socialism AND the metric system.
Yeah, and you suffer from penis envy but what does that have to do with
the price of banana's? But 90% of the world uses the metric system and
the states don't....
> Also, Canada is older than the U.S. of A.? What's this based on--
> carbon dating of a frozen polar bear turd discovered by a bored
> Inuit in Pelly Bay? <g>
No actually it was based on the fact that Americans being so much more
stupid (in general) than Canadians, I figured they had to be younger.
You know that whole "older - wiser" argument...<g>.
And before any American readers get pissed - I'm kidding OK? Relax.
In other news, I found yet another alternative to an MS product for
those interested. It's called AbiWord. It's still in the beta stage
(not quite feature complete) but it looks real nice so far. And it runs
on Win9x/NT/2000, Linux, Solaris, and BeOS. It's also Open Source -
meaning anyone can jack the code and personalize it. The download is,
get this, less than 1 meg - way cool. Check it out at:
http://www.abisource.com/
Anyways Paull also had some interesting disparaging remarks about
Star Wars Episode 1 and George Lucas but I can't find them now. Trust
me they were good comments.
So this marks the end of Vol. 1 as next issue is the 1 year anniversary
of VD (1 year already?!?!?). So this issue represents a complete
clearing out of everything in the VD folder.
See ya next time....
:: QUOTABLE ::
"Better than me jerking off to Linux chicks <g>. Bwa ha. I have no
clue where the hell that came from."
-Morbus
"I hate mouses. The eat my veins. They kill me and eat my veins."
-Connor aged 6
"But Tinky-Winky still got dirty knees."
-Narrator on The Teletubbies (maybe there is something to what
Jerry Falwell was saying after all... -Ed.)
"The level of completeness is so complete..."
-Walter Day, Pacman scorekeeper
:: JESUSNEWSSHITE ::
Came across these 2 items in the most recent Zentertainment. Definite
evidence that the world is coming to an end....
> Production begins later this month on MARY & JOSEPH, an inspirational
> two-hour TV movie telling the story of Christ from the perspective of
> his mother, Mary.
I'm curious as to how this will be inspirational seeing as it is told
from Mary's perspective and Christianity is the biggest misogynist
organization going. I think mom would be pissed at what her son
started.
> Production has begun on JESUS, CBS' four hour miniseries on the life
> and mission of Jesus of Nazareth, from carpenter to martyr. The film
> stars Jeremy Sisto as Jesus, Jacqueline Bisset as Mary, Armin
> Mueller-Stahl as Joseph, Debra Messing (Will & Grace) as Mary
> Magdalen, David O'Hara as John the Baptist, and Gary Oldman as
> Pontius Pilate. JESUS will premiere on CBS in May 2000.
Isn't that last sentence the greatest promo line?!?! But wait! May
2000?!?!? Isn't May 5, 2000 the day when all the planets in the solar
system are going to align and wreak havoc on Earth, killing all life
forms? Uh huh. You heard it here. Maybe this tv show talk is just
double talk and the CBS guys have an inside track to knowledge of the
real second coming...Armageddon baby! Yeah! OK maybe not.
:: BASHING MICROSLOTH ::
I read this on Wired News daily thingy and thought it was funny in an
ironic kind of way...
> MSN Powered by Apache
> by Leander Kahney
>
> 4:25 p.m. 15.Jul.99.PDT
> Who does Microsoft want to run its MSN homepages today? Why Apache,
> of course.
>
> At least part of Microsoft's Microsoft Network runs on the free Apache
> Web server on a Unix platform, the German tech magazine C't has
> uncovered.
>
> "Microsoft seems to have not very much confidence in its own
> products," the magazine declares on its Web site.
>
> C't discovered Microsoft's server choice by typing in a URL for a
> nonexistent page, like this one, and noting the standard Apache error
> message.
>
> Brian Behlendorf, Apache lead developer, said he was pleased but not
> particularly surprised, seeing as Microsoft's MSN Hotmail,
> LinkExchange, and WebTV sites also run on Apache.
>
> "On the one hand, I'm happy to see it," said Behlendorf. "But on the
> other hand, I'm not going to say 'Hah, even Microsoft realizes that
> Apache is the best server.'
>
> "I'd be happiest if the decision on what server to use was left to
> the engineers and not the 'marketdroids' or whoever it is makes those
> decisions."
>
> A spokesman for Microsoft admitted MSN's homepage services ran on
> Apache but said that the service is not run by Microsoft but a
> partner, Talk City.
>
> The remainder of the MSN network runs on Microsoft's Windows NT, the
> spokesman said.
>
> "It's one small service on a wealth of services on MSN.com," the
> spokesman said.
Seems even the Giant Microsloth suffers from foot-in-mouth disease...
:: UFOSHITE ::
This is another one of those little news items that I think are just
the tip of the iceberg...See, there's an intergalactic conspiracy to
farm humans as drones, food...uh wait, sorry. Wrong list here. Uh, I'm
kidding, yeah that's it. I don't *really* believe in the conspiracy
(even if A-P is living proof). I don't honest. This is just a funny
news story. Yeah, funny. Haha...
> UFO Cult Disappears in Colombia
> Reuters 5:00 p.m. 8.Jul.99.PDT
> At least 100 members of a religious cult were missing in northern
> Colombia after they went to rendezvous with a UFO they believed would
> save them from "the end of the world," relatives said on Thursday.
>
> "My daughter told me she had to leave because a cataclysm was going
> to occur, and that she had to go to a high place to meet
> extraterrestrials who would save them from the end of the world,"
> said Andrea de Echenique, whose daughter, Maria Bernarda, is among
> the missing.
>
> The followers of the so-called Stella Maris Church, which describes
> itself as a gnostic organization, headed out to the Sierra Nevada
> mountains in two groups on Friday and over the weekend.
>
> A police spokesman in the Caribbean resort of Cartagena, where most
> of the cult members lived, said they had received reports that the
> group had disappeared.
>
> Up until now, there had been no known reports of doomsday cults
> operating in Colombia. But in 1978, South America was the scene of
> the worst mass suicide ever when more than 900 American followers of
> the People's Temple killed themselves in Jonestown, Guyana.
>
> Cartagena police said, however, that no search operation had been
> mounted since there was no indication that the Stella Maris cult was
> planning mass suicide, or that any of the members had been forced to
> go along against their will.
>
> "The leader of the group told them the world was going to end in
> August and that they had to go to the Sierra Nevada to meet some
> aliens," said Pedro Perez. Four of his relatives are missing with the
> other cult members.
>
> Leaders of a gnostic group in Bogota said it did not have any links
> with the Stella Maris group but had heard reports of its beliefs.
>
> "People had told us that certain practices of the Stella Maris group
> were fanatical and dogmatic.... Over the last two years they had been
> talking about a meeting with UFOs," said Wilson Martinez, a gnostic
> "archbishop" in Bogota.
>
> Martinez said gnostics believe in the spiritual but not the
> historical existence of Christ and looked to "free their souls with
> knowledge."
>
> Family members have accused Rogelio Perea, self-styled head of the
> Stella Maris cult, of swindling his followers out of their homes,
> property, and money. They also say he forced members to sever ties
> with their families.
>
> "The two leaders told my daughter Liliana that she was God's chosen
> one and made her change her name to Stella Maris to brainwash her.
> She was convinced she was going to make contact with flying saucers,"
> said Mariela Tovar.
>
> But others close to the Stella Maris group believe its 100 or so
> members have simply gone on a routine spiritual retreat and accuse
> relatives and the media of exaggerating the story.
The media exaggerating the story?!?!? Naw... Isn't this a great time to
be alive? When we have all these psycho's talking about the coming end
of the world...hey wait a minute...I talk about the end of w...
uh, nevermind...
:: PACMAN PERFECTION ::
I got this item last week and having fond memories of spending all
night at a local Bowlerama playing this stupid game when I was a
teenager, I thought I would share it with you all (in case you haven't
read it already elsewhere). Funny enough, I read this same release in
Canada's National newspaper "The Globe & Mail". This story happened in
New Hampshire, where Morbus lives. Maybe Morbus is also like a PACMAN
god too...
> Gobbling Up a Pac-Man Record
> by Leander Kahney 3:00 a.m. 8.Jul.99.PDT
>
> After nearly 20 years and millions of quarters, someone has attained
> the unthinkable: a perfect score on Pac-Man.
>
> The world record was set by 33-year-old Billy Mitchell of Hollywood,
> Florida, during a US-Canada clash over the Fourth of July weekend.
> Mitchell took more than six hours to complete the game at the
> Funspot Family Fun Center in Weirs Beach, New Hampshire.
>
> To achieve the game's maximum score of 3,333,360 points, Mitchell
> navigated 256 boards (or screens), eating every single dot, blinking
> energizer blob, flashing blue ghost, and point-loaded fruit, without
> losing a single life.
>
> "It was tremendously monotonous," said Mitchell, a father of three
> and president of Rickey's World Famous Sauces, a manufacturer of
> Louisiana hot sauces.
>
> Mitchell's record was confirmed by Twin Galaxies, publisher of the
> Official Video Game & Pinball Book of World Records.
>
> Walter Day, Twin Galaxies' chief scorekeeper, said a perfect Pac-Man
> score is one of the most difficult feats in the history of arcade
> gaming.
>
> "The level of completeness is so complete it's difficult to find an
> analogy to compare it to.... It took tremendous skill. The focus is
> extraordinary," he said.
>
> Pac-Man has been one of the most popular arcade games ever made,
> and has been played more than 10 billion times worldwide in the last
> 20 years, according to Day.
>
> "To the best of our knowledge, it's the first time someone's done
> this," said Patrick Fitzgerald, a spokesman for Midway Games, which
> distributed Pac-Man in the early 1980s.
>
> Mitchell and an American friend spent the last year in a grudge match
> against a pair of Canadians trying to achieve the first perfect
> Pac-Man score as a matter of national pride.
>
> In May, one of the Canadians, Rick Fothergill, came within 90 points
> of the perfect score while playing at the Funspot arcade, described
> as the world's second-largest arcade, with about 500 games.
>
> The foursome set a Fourth of July weekend rendezvous for their
> head-to-head competition. Mitchell said he came very close to setting
> the record on the first day of the holiday weekend -- 1 July which,
> coincidentally, is Canada Day -- but a kid pulled the plug about four
> hours into the game.
>
> "I was noticeably upset," said the soft-spoken Mitchell.
>
> Wearing a red, white, and blue necktie to celebrate the holiday,
> Mitchell said he didn't eat for two days of the competition.
>
> He said the record-breaking game's first 20 screens were tense and
> grueling, while the remaining 236 screens -- all identical --
> strained his endurance.
>
> "It felt like I'd been playing forever," he said. "[After about four
> hours] I realized I still had 100 boards to go. I started talking to
> myself, coaching myself on. I was afraid I was going to get lost
> inside myself."
>
> Mitchell's entire game was recorded for posterity on videotape by a
> Funspot employee.
>
> Mitchell said he was an avid arcade player in his teens and still
> holds the world record for the highest score on Donkey Kong, which he
> set in 1982 at age 17.
>
> "I was absolutely, totally consumed and obsessed by the idea that no
> one could beat me," Mitchell said. "I was the best."
>
> Mitchell, who signs his high scores "Play to Win," retired at age 19
> before attaining the perfect Pac-Man score. He turned his energies
> toward the family business, staying away from arcades until last year.
>
> That was when Mitchell and his friend, Chris Ayra, the world record
> holder for the high score on Ms. Pac-Man, a later version of the
> game, started their rivalry with the Canadians.
>
> "I had the knowledge [to get the perfect Pac-Man score] in 1984, but
> my enthusiasm and the incentive to do it weren't there," Mitchell
> said. "We felt the Canadians were Johnny-come-latelys and needed to
> be put in their place."
>
> After the record-breaking game, Mitchell immediately announced his
> retirement. On Wednesday, he said he would probably compete at the
> Classic Game Convention in Las Vegas next month.
>
> "I'm like a boxer. I might come out for one more fight. Hopefully I
> won't get beat up."
Only American's could turn a video archade game contest into a matter
of national pride....<g> All these guys seriously need to get a life.
:: ETC ::
You can catch VD. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. If you want VD delivered
to your mailbox, send an empty email to: v_d-subscribe@makelist.com
Conversely, if you don't want VD, figure it out (it has something to do
with empty mail and v_d-unsubscribe@makelist.com - duh).
If you have something you'd like to see in VD or an idea for a section
you'd like to write or whatever, type it up and send it in a note to
v_d@iname.com or don't.
Morbus doesn't appear courtesy of Secret Projects R Us...
Goatboy doesn't appear courtesy of schoolsux.com
Next issue August 3/99
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Morbus made me put this here cos he's a "visionary"...
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Viewer Discretion, VD, its content are. <-Zen style copyright, uh yeah.
Copyright 1998-2000 Neil MacKay <-Legal style copyright, uh huh.
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