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Devil Shat 2000 09 14
.ili. Devil Shat Sixty Seven .ili.
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Bring Him Back! We Love Him! ....................... by Morbus
ASSHOLIC: ASSHOLIC ........................... by Rown Garnbii
Avoiding as a Solution ...................... by Amanda Bryant
This is Devil Shat Sixty Seven released on 09/14/00. Devil Shat is
published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of
the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/
Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your
comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email
and let us know.
I'd much rather be doing something else.
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.ili. Bring Him Back! We Love Him! .ili.
---------------------------------------- by Morbus
Holy crap! It's Wannabe Goth's sister!
How many of you remember Wannabe Goth?
Either way, I no longer feel innovative. Thus, a lack of verbiage from
me this issue. I'm programming, following my mind, hoping to create
something I've never seen before. You'll enjoy it. I know you will.
Expect some crappy articles from me in the future - it's more important
for me to reinvent the world than convince you to reinvent yours.
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.ili. ASSHOLIC: ASSHOLIC .ili.
------------------------------ by Rown Garnbii
HolisticFP@aol.com
or: "What is Assholic?"
Recently, someone e-mailed me asking what "assholic" means. I realize
now, that in my haste to verbally pummel those I detest and look down
upon, I've entirely forgotten to mention what an assholic is.
Assholic: Taken from two words.
Asshole: To be a fucking dickhead.
Alcoholic: An addicted bastard/whore.
Ergo... Assholic: A bastard/whore addicted to being a fucking dickhead.
Now, generalizations and rudimentary definitions are fine for the Ivy
League scholar, but nevertheless, I shall endeavor to specify.
Anyone can be an asshole. (Look, I'm doing it right now.) There is not a
man, woman or child reading this column who has not stepped on someone's
toes, cut someone off, or accidentally killed another person and failed
to offer a sincere apology afterwards. We're people. It's in our nature,
but there are those who, despite the rules of good form, continue on
this path. They do things, sometimes purposely, sometimes absent -
mindedly (I make no distinction), that annoy, bother and hurt those
around them on a continual basis.
Why do they do this? Because they get off on it.
I don't care where you came from, how you were raised, whether your
mother smacked you as a child while your daddy jacked off in the corner,
there's no excuse for being a consistent and unwavering dick for the
majority of your, and more importantly, my life.
There is a standard of how one should act in public. There is a standard
of how one should act with their family and friends. And all this "be
yourself" crap is bullshit. Being yourself is fine unless deep down
you're really a jerk, like me. Therefore, around others it is your
solemn duty to reel your attitude in.
I think I've made that about as clear as it's gonna get. Now that begs
the question, why name the column Assholic? Well, if you haven't
noticed, the only people I ever write about are assholes. The
uber-religious, PeTA, the PTC, internet porn solicitors. These people
make life harder to swallow on a daily basis. I'm not saying we, as a
people, couldn't use the challenge, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't
fight back.
I don't know how many people read this, and of those who do, I don't
know how many of you actually listen, but to those who do, take heart.
These people are the horsemen of the apocalypse. They are the death and
the war and the plague of mankind, and left unchecked, they are the only
ones capable of bringing it's downfall. And they will try. They are the
only race on Earth to which every major problem can be rooted.
By now I'm sure I've got you all good 'n' incited to violence (yeah,
right) but the problem with assholes is that they are masters of
disguise. And, because they're the only race on earth who can't stand
each other, they tend to disperse themselves in all known areas of the
populous. Only occasionally do they form into larger visible factions
like the previously mentioned PeTA or the Klan or the French. But in
most cases they could be anywhere. Next door, at your place of business,
in your schools, even in your own home!
Blatant assholes are easy to spot. They're flamboyant in their
assholishness. They're loud, abrasive, and often easily avoidable.
Dangerous, but avoidable. But there are several subsections that are far
more proficient at the art of hiding in shadows, as the evil gamers say.
Over the next few columns (yup, another theme) I'm going to attempt to
showcase these different subsects of assholes and tips on dealing with
and/or avoiding them. As always, your comments and suggestions are
welcome. (Though they will be read, criticized, scoffed at and
cannibalized for usable parts by my crack team of nogoodniks...
jealous?)
Lastly, your mission, if you chose to accept it. A site a friend of mine
dug up and my new favorite site of the month. It tipped off a debate on
whether it is real or a joke. In either case it's good for a laugh. What
do you think?
The Game of Love
http://www.co.jyu.fi/~np/rpg/DnD/
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.ili. Avoiding as a Solution .ili.
---------------------------------- by Amanda Bryant
It's my Senior year of High School and I'm overwhelmed by the cardboard
personalities I'm surrounded by. Being the quiet type I sit and read
alone. My books are of course "evil" books because they are too
philosophically experimental and go against the norm. My peers give me
odd looks because the title is "Being and Nothingness" which, of course,
since it says "nothingness" means I'm immoral and depressed. Well at
least that's what the "positive" and "optimistic" cheerleaders and
teachers assigning Moby Dick proclaim. They call themselves optimistic
because they ignore adversity. They don't possess the ability to
embrace their pain and therefore conquer it. They avoid it and that's
not a positive approach, though they assume it is and label people with
my demeanor pessimistic because of my reflection on not just the good
but the bad.
A true optimist enjoys depression as a raw human emotion because they're
healthy enough to embrace it when it comes, grow stronger from it, feel
alive from it, and then move on to embrace the next thing life brings.
It's the weaker fake optimist who lives in false happiness and
securities. The true optimist views experiences as a way to learn and
grow. They're positive because they still feel that (no matter how
painful) by letting it consume them they are invigorated and wouldn't
take back ones tragedy, no matter how bad, from their life. I know I'm a
true optimist.
It's beautiful to be human, even when you're depressed it's a
strengthening thing. There have been times of dull happiness that I
felt nonexistent, sometimes it takes states of depression to make one
feel good, to feel alive. Because it's such a strong feeling coursing
throughout your body and mind. The pain can be so intense, the tears so
forceful, yet it feels good because the power we have to feel something
that much reminds us that we're living. It makes us feel alive because
we've become consumed by everything, so involved in our thought, our
loneliness, our pain that we start to feel more real, more substance.
It's very natural and very human to embrace these feelings and it's no
wonder the greatest minds do so. That's how they've all learned so
much. Human beings are the highest species not because of their big
buildings or discoveries but because of their capacity to feel so
intensely and to be so immersed in thought.
But "my kind" seems out there because we don't hide our pain. We wear
our burden for all to see because that's the best way to conquer it and
learn from it. Then we get all these nice psychiatric labels and seem
to dance the line between insanity and intelligence. But it takes a
struggle to reach any true life enjoyment and no one's ever too old or
too young. Many have obtained great perception and intuition from
hardships. I welcome more so I can be enlightened further. When you
let your feelings good and bad consume you can truly appreciate that you
are human. Just reflecting on a city street while walking down one,
feeling the cool wind against your face, and little things like that can
be a philosophical manifesto when you're living your life. Most people
sadly are not living but observing, playing, or simply avoiding.
I'm only eighteen so people sigh or humor me when I proclaim myself a
free thinker, philosopher, or writer. Our society is saddening
sometimes but that very saddening society has motivated many to overcome
the odds. It's sad that we create so many age barriers. People my age
are supposed to have friends around my age and only talk to older
persons within my family. My friends range from seven years old to
seventy. Just the other day a student said to my art teacher "I bet I
know more than you" and Mrs. Park responded "Well you probably know some
things I don't but I am guarantee there's more things I know that you
don't since I've learn more with age." That upset me - it's true
someone older has had more time to learn things but not more chances.
I've learned and lived more than people I know in their thirties.
Wisdom can come from experiences and just because someone has lived
longer doesn't mean they've had more experiences. Even if they have, it
depends on what they were and what they've drawn from them. I've gained
my wisdom through my endless struggles that began at early youth and
have yet to end. I've been through more than most have my age and I
know there are several who have been through more but it's what you make
of your experiences that amounts to something. I've used everything
I've been through to establish myself as an individual, strengthen my
morals, gain knowledge, immersed myself in different perspectives, and
so forth. I've also learned from other people's experiences through
philosophical discussions, listening to others problems, observing
other's behaviors, reading the writings of others, keeping up with
current and past news, and overall being a friend. Wisdom doesn't come
with age it comes when it's called upon!
Yet in this world it seems our type is dying out. We're seen as dark,
negative, or freaks. But we're the ones creating artwork, music,
poetry, books, and all the other things misused and misunderstood by
those that label us. I read Morbus' writings and know he cares deeply
about the human condition. We reflect on the negatives of society
because we expect more, we realize everyone's potential. Our deep care
is not seeds of negative thought it's optimism because we're facing it
and looking for a better way.
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