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Devil Shat 1998 04 23
.ili. Devil Shat Twenty Five .ili.
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A Few Words ........................................ by Morbus
Five Reasons We Don't Need Christianity ...... by The Horseman
Five Reasons We Need Christianity .............. by Truthserum
This is Devil Shat Twenty Five released on 04/23/98. Devil Shat is
published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of
the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/
Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your
comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email
and let us know.
Devil Shat is 25 issues old. Guess we're seasoned now.
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.ili. A Few Words .ili.
----------------------- by Morbus
It's the twenty fifth issue. Big dippin' deal, eh? I hate tooting my own
horn, so that's all I care to say. On another notable date subject, this
May 1st, Devil Shat will have been publishing for one whole year.
Congratulate us.
Anyways, readers of Devil Shat may remember that we asked for people to
respond to a piece we had received called "5 Reasons We Don't Need
Christianity". We were pleasantly surprised by the number of people who
actually said, "hey, send the piece to me" and then even more so to the
turnaround. After reading from about 20 entries, we chose the piece
written by Truthserum to be its rebuttal.
Why did we ask for a rebuttal piece? Why didn't we just publish the
piece and let it stand as that? Because it would have given Devil Shat a
standing on religion. People could look at the contents and say, "whoop,
evil, devil, don't need christianity, do I smell Satan?" and unsubscribe
themselves. In reality, Devil Shat is neutral.
There are some words I do want to say about the whole religion thing.
The first is that you either care about religion or you don't. Most
people care about it... I have never met someone who hasn't. Whether you
agree with it or not, there is often vehement support either way. You
can yell loudly that you hate religion, and then argue with someone
about why this is this or why that is that. You care about religion
because you contest it.
The other thing I want to mention is equality. I see a lot of software
boxes because that is what I am paid to do. And along with the fact that
everyone is trying to regulate the internet (of which I could bitch
about for a whole 'nother issue), they often get blind sided into what
is deemed correct. My example stems from a bit of code called
"CyberPatrol". I have never used it, nor seen it in action. However, the
back of the box gives a nifty list of everything it "protects" against.
And near the bottom of the list was "Satanic and Cult". I scanned the
box again. There was no "Christian and Related" option. It would only be
fair, right? They are both religions, both with views, both with
beliefs, and both with dedication. Breaking them down into their base
parts them equate them out to be the same thing: a core set of beliefs
which people follow. I almost wanted to write them an email, but at what
use? I would only be labeled as something to be protected against. Maybe
in their next version, they'll have a "Morbus" option. As a matter of
fact, we're probably already blocked against anyways (Disobey equates to
porn, and Devil equates to satanic or cult info).
I comment no further on this issue. Read the thoughts below, agree with
both, neither or one, or just sit by and be confused. Whatever you do,
start up your mail program and reply to this thing... it'll make
everyone feel better.
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.ili. Five Reasons We Don't Need Christianity .ili.
--------------------------------------------------- by The Horseman
Or: Will we burn for being agnostic?
Lately I've been meeting or I should say have been confronted with
people from all walks of life with one common qualification: they have
seen the Light! Well, in fact that's two common qualifications; without
one single exception they also hate me for disagreeing with them.
Some of these so-called god fearing example citizens are so one track
minded and extreme in their opinions, that if these were the Middle
Ages, I'd probably be thrown in the river with a big millstone around my
neck or run the risk of being burnt at the stake!
Just the other day I had a discussion with a close relative, a devoted
catholic all her life, which was definitely the last straw for me. She
claimed that the bible should actually be looked upon as a REALISTIC
book! I'm very sorry, but talking snakes, whales with digestion problems
and Jesus as the first zombie in history are way beyond my imagination.
If taking the bible as literal as possible is true for most christians,
please read the below reasons, which to my opinion are just 5 examples
why we can absolutely do without christianity.
Reason number one is that I don't think christians particularly care
about healthy family relationships, biologically speaking. For starters,
there was one guy and one woman (y'all remember Adam and Eve?), who had
two boys. So far, so good. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's 3
males and 1 female. According to the bible Adam led a fruitful life
until the age of 800 (??), so there's bound to be more offspring. But
still there's only one set of parents. Get it? Where do you and I evolve
from? Either from a guy making out with his sister or from a guy making
out with his mother! And even up to today there have been stories of
families living far away from the real world continuing this same form
of reproduction. I can't speak for all countries, but I am pretty sure
that in most of them incest is considered a crime. I mean I know that
the Pope is against condoms and masturbation is a sin because of wasting
your seed on the land, but to me those two options seem a much healthier
way to satisfy your needs than overcrowding this planet with inbreds.
And than there is war. It's explicitly stated in Exodus that the Lord
was a man of war and his name was the Lord. Now according to my
grandmother, drastic situations ask for drastic measures, meaning that
in that particular environment there was a need for war. That's just
fine, but this way I and every world leader or oppressor practicing
genocide can easily come up with some reason for war and sell the idea
as being completely legitimate. However I finally understand the Vatican
when documents were released that proved that they helped war criminals
to escape to South America or somewhere. If this is what being a good
christian is all about... thanks, but no thanks.
Murder. Now what more do I need to say? The first murder is already
eternized in Genesis; Cain decided that he didn't like his brother too
much and what was the easiest thing to do? I have heard of people naming
their newborn Cain. I guess it will start quite a riot if I introduce my
newborn triplets as Charles Manson, Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer! I
won't even start to discuss the book of Ezekiel in which we read that
every man's sword will be against his brother and that the Lord will
strike down with great vengeance upon those that try to harm his
brothers. I do believe in self defense, but initiating murder? I don't
know if I should agree, but I heard someone say once that religion has
killed more people than cancer has...
Let's talk about the relation between christianity and money, or should
I say the relationship between God and Jim Baker or perhaps the
relationship between the Vatican and the laundering business? Or the
relationship between doing good deeds and the amount of money spent on
Mother Theresa's broadcasting time? Sure it's a good thing to help your
fellow man, without any doubt, but why does it always have to involve
money from indecisive followers? As far as we can go back in history,
there are stories of preachers and prophets trying to persuade people to
give as much money as possible in order to assure their place in heaven?
So the rich man gets a VIP box? And missionaries in the dark jungles of
Africa or the Salvation Army? Is this because you can only help those in
need if you are a christian? If you're not, don't even try it because
it's not allowed? Or is it because that you can convert new souls to
christianity while you're at it? I am convinced that those in need are
very happy with any support they get, but that their priority is
definitely not whether to worship God or Mother Earth? Don't you think
that survival is more important than devotion?
I can go on about the subject of christianity for hours, but since the
title of this article starts with "FIVE reasons", I'd like to call this
last one the "respect" issue. To me this is a somewhat more
comprehensive term, including the question of guilt and sin and
salvation. First of all, is there a need that we write everything
related to christian religion with Capitals? Jesus, God, His name, the
Bible? Is there a reason for printing "In God we trust" on money (see
also reason 4)? Is this out of respect or out of humble obedience? Is
this out of trust or out of self inflicted slavery? Is this out of
security reasons or out of penance? That's why I never understood this
whole guilt thing and this dying for our sins. I mean if Jesus was
really to "absorb" all that was sinful in men and wash it all away by
dying, don't you think he was about 2000 years too early? Look at the
world today, how much worse can it get? But okay, God being good and all
decided that the hard way (the Flood) didn't work, so he tried a
different, more humane approach?
A few months ago there were some Jehovah's Witnesses at my door, who
explicitly told me that "praying and going to church and being baptized
and reading the bible cannot clean you of one single sin". So what's the
use of doing all that? They told me that "in order to avoid Judgement
Day you should make sure that your life and all that's in it totally
belongs to God, 'cause that's the way he wants it". Yes, well, so did
Jim Jones, and all of us realize now that he was insane. "But that's
because Jim Jones did not stick to Gods cosmic Plan". Well, okay, but
Judas and Pilate cooperated just fine, but basically they sentenced
Jesus to death. So are they in heaven for not interfering with God's
scheme or are they in hell for killing his son? I noticed that these
self acclaimed disciples at my door started panicking when they told me
I should "change my direction in life, because it is never too late for
that". How many times can someone actually change his direction, because
then I'll be a christian today, a sinner tomorrow and a christian again
the day after! "Be aware, brother, that with such an attitude you'll be
in big trouble. The bible has the highest count of predictions coming
true". Well, Nostradamus predicted World War II, I haven't seen God
doing that. Anyway, their conclusion was: I'll burn!
Some people find it extremely hard to believe that I am NOT a satanist.
But I am no more a satanist than I am a buddhist or whatever. Neither am
I an atheist, meaning that I do not deny the existence of God for the
simple reason that I do not know if he/she exists in the form of some
non physical spiritual entity (I think the right word here is agnostic,
isn't it?). I do believe that the bible can well be a guideline for
people but only if it is considered as a SYMBOLIC scripture. In laymen's
terms; I do believe in Good, but I don't call it God and I do believe in
Evil, but I don't call it Devil. Has anyone ever wondered why these
words sound so much alike?
---------------------------------------------
.ili. Five Reasons We Need Christianity .ili.
--------------------------------------------- by Truthserum
Or: Lame Excuses For Not Believing Do Not Constitute A "Get Out Of Hell"
Free Card.
When David Letterman gives a Top Ten List, he follows the classic
entertainer's model. Building from the weakest jokes to the strongest.
No genius is involved in Letterman's decision, it is the tried and true
rule for the worlds of footlights and celluloid. So, I may be wrong
about The Horseman's take on why we don't need Christianity (but I doubt
it). If it turns out that the Horseman was counting backwards, perhaps
he's got better reasons. Otherwise, there are no good reasons for not
needing Christianity.
The Horseman's Five Reasons were: (1) Christians do not care for
healthy family relationships because, in the Horseman's version of the
Hebrew Testament, all mankind descended from one set of parents, a fact
which draws us ineluctably to the conclusion that there had to be a
great deal of inbreeding in our past (and not just in West Virginia)
back toward Eden way; (2) Christians fight wars; (3) Christians commit
murder; (4) Christians have money or Christians want money or christians
spend money or christians do not spend the money they have or Christians
do not have enough money or Christians encourage charity in others or
Christians use money to export their religious views; and (drumroll,
please), Christians inspire respect or desire respect or deserve respect
or get respect. Wow! I am nearly persuaded! Not!
Why is the Horseman's argument a load of manure?
Argument one falls apart because there is every reason to accept the
fact that humanity today is the result of a bit of inbreeding. From
road rage to the Spice Girls to Peter Jennings to Bubba Clinton, all
objective evidence compels this conclusion. Of course, the Horseman
blatantly errs: Christians do care for healthy family relationships.
From the inception of Christianity, the family has been a home-oriented
religion. Among its hallmarks are the drawn nexus between the happy
home and a ministry role in the Church. Further, the nature of that
home-based faith is such that husbands and wives, parents and children
are all counseled to serve and care for the others better than for
themselves.
The Christians as warmongerers argument has no gas. I suppose we are
better off under the tutelage of Eastern religions? Nothing like a
Shintoist to sink your U.S.S. Arizona, huh? The Iran-Iraq war, of
course, proves that Islamasists can start and stretch out a war as well
as other religionists. Tribal warfare amongst Africans and Native
Americans proves that other religions also seem to be indictable on this
count. More to the point, however, is that in the absence of faith in
Christ, Allah, personal purification or other hallmarks of religion, man
is still borne a-warring. Consider the religion-free governments of the
Soviet Union and Communist China: together sharing a death toll over
their lifespans of better than seventy million. Fact is, Christianity
is essential to suppressing and reforming the lesser angels of our
natures that lead to wars and fightings amongst men.
For the same reasons, Horseman's third argument fails. War is, or at
least may be, murder en masse. Or, it may be justifiable homicide (self
defense, defense of another) or excusable (mistake of fact, mistake of
law). But whatever individual murders are, they occur in primitive
cultures and advanced ones, Oriental cultures and Occidental ones,
agrarian cultures and technological ones, and, significantly, Buddhist,
Hindu (wasn't Gandhi murdered by a Hindu extremist?), and every religious
culture. And, modern day China and the Soviet Union, as well as other
older religious societies, such as France in revolution, all prove that
strictly secular cultures are infected with the death ethic. So, as
with a proclivity to war, Horseman's suggestion that Christians have a
peculiar proclivity to murder is patent babble.
Money. The Horseman sees Christians as unnecessary because of their
relationship to money. Ever seen those stone coins that are taller than
a man, I think from the Easter Islands. Greeks and Romans, Egyptians,
Sumerians, and countless other cultures past and present, religious and
not, have prized "net worth." There is no uniquely Christian element to
this question. Of course, Christianity offers the means by which
private property and the accumulation of wealth can be properly balanced
with charity to others. There are cultures that put no emphasis on the
citizenry using their own funds to provide for the poor, the destitute,
the homeless, the widows and the fatherless. Christianity does. Of
course there are abuses. Christians remain humans. Where did those
Buddhist nuns get the cash to stuff in Al Gore's pockets? From
Christians? I don't think so. In the Christian faith we use money, we
don't love it or lust for it. When we do, we tread on the trail of woes
common to all whose judgment is clouded by avarice.
Finally, the Horseman, playing a poor Rodney Dangerfield, complains that
Christians are given respect, or that Christians give respect. As with
each of his arguments, the hORSEMAN majors in minors. Here, he fidgets
over capitalization of proper nouns. Drivel. There has to be better
arguments or else the hORSEMAN will be converted shortly. I guess I find
the arguments so inconsiderable as to require a magnifying lens. A
quick look around should tell the hORSEMAN that there is a great deal
wrong with mankind. Christianity credits the graceful gift of God with
delivering from justified punishments. In that mix, Christianity teaches
that men are deserving of being treated with gentility and respect
because they are the objects of divine affection, each and every one.
The Horseman never got out of the gate on this race track. Pat phrases
and thought free musings just don't carry the day.
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