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Devil Shat 1998 01 29
.ili. Devil Shat Nineteen .ili.
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You Are What You Type .............................. by Morbus
This is Devil Shat Nineteen released on 01/29/98. Devil Shat is
published by Disobey and is protected under all copyright laws. All of
the issues are archived at the Disobey website: http://www.disobey.com/
Submissions, email, and news should be sent to morbus@disobey.com. Your
comments are welcome. What do you want us to write about? Send an email
and let us know.
Spellcheck the word "flabber".
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.ili. You Are What You Type .ili.
---------------------------------- by Morbus
One day, in the little town of Disobeyville, Morbus was wandering around
the proverbial corridors of the internet trying to think about something
to write about. Not that this is hard. He has a bunch of articles
waiting to be written, but nothing struck him... he wasn't in the mood
for them. And he had this great idea to do a piece on the million dollar
commercials from the Super Bowl, but hell, if you happened to notice,
all the commercials sucked. And don't ask me about the game... I didn't
watch it.
So, I decided to go onto one of those stupid internet pagers (happened
to be the AOL one this time) and see who was on. A friend and I got
talking. And thus the article is born.
You are what you type. What a lovable phrase. With more and more people
coming on to the internet nowadays, the typing is nonstop, the chatrooms
are never empty (well, the popular or the sex ones) and people have more
to say than ever. Or type.
You see, we have evolved this whole new language around the art of
typing. People in the "know" can speak in TLA's all they want. I hate
TLA's. I hate when people "lol" or "rotflmao". Because they aren't. We
have become needless extensions of what we type. Half the time, when I
type <g>, I AM NOT GRINNING. Nope, just sitting there, maybe drinking
some coffee, more than likely slurping on some Store 24 soda. I don't
need to grin anymore. Sure, it may use more muscles (or less, I don't
really remember) than frowning, but why use any muscles when I only need
to touch three keys?
And come now, how can you type if you're rolling on the floor?
We have this whole new language literally being borne right beneath our
fingers. The Language of Type. We are a lot more powerful with words
then we are with speech, because with type we need not worry about
looking into the other person's eyes, or stuttering. If I start typing
"I love you" to someone, but think that is a little forward, I don't
have to worry about embarrassing moments. I can just hit that stupid
delete key and make it "I am attracted to you".
I am attracted to you. I am attracted to you. Hmm. So many different
ways to interpret that. It says a lot. And it doesn't commit you to
ANYTHING. You can always "j/k" without getting red in the face or
butterflies in your stomach. There are also subtle differences amongst
text. Strangely "lol" is different from "LOL". One seems a lot more
funnier because the text seems more intimidating, more in your face. And
the whole time, you might have chuckled just a tiny bit.
How many times has someone sent you a string of words, and it just made
you sat there, reading it over and over again, trying to find some
hidden meaning in it? It is like a letter you receive in your mail that
tells you to meet this girl you have been lusting over. Meet her? For
what? Are we going out? Yes! Wait, what if she is going to tell me...?
The mind runs rampant, and the same happens online. Of course, if things
get too hot or too confusing, you can always disconnect and blame it on
your stupid ISP. You can't do that in real life.
Are we losing responsibility? Are we throwing our words around with no
restriction? Sure, there have been studies that show it is a lot easier
to type your thoughts and your feelings than to say them, but the
studies never show if this is a good thing. Need to get some stress off?
Go to an "All-Black" room and start yelling slurs. Fight some people
with words, and then logoff. Go to sleep happy. It's just plain sick.
With this loss of identity on the net, we have lost our sense of
caution.
And what the hell is up with those smileys? Where do we learn the subtle
differences between " ;) " or " ;P "? Is there some social faux pas if I
" ;) " where I should " :) "? Are we really smiling or winking our eyes?
And how many times do we really do that in life anyways? I never wink at
anyone, or stick my tongue out, or wear a goatee, wink, and have a big
ass Dr. Seuss hat on.
The tendency in art is toward reduction (which doesn't really hold
water, since now we went from silent films to "talkies", but anyways) so
is this the next step in our devolution? I have bitched long and hard
about being faceless entities on the net... why should we have a face if
we no longer need it? We don't laugh when we type it, we don't frown
when someone swears in a "no swearing" room. But our words and our
symbols do.
The next logical step is a pack of playing cards. But instead of your
regular card faces, we put these symbols on them, you know " <g> ", " :)
", " ;) " and so on. When people think what you said is funny, they hand
you a card with the little "grin" symbol on it. Hell, if its really
funny, you can whip out that "lol" card (with the CAPS version on the
other side, in case it was hilariously funny). And if you're in a bad
mood but don't feel like frowning, you can just tape the " :( " onto
your face.
It will be all very simple... we'll live in a society where mere glances
speak emotions and little cards will be your voice. The Ellen Jamesians*
would be proud.
*Anyone ever read "The Life According to Garp?" In a nutshell, Ellen
James gets raped and her tongue cut out so that she can't identify the
criminal. In a sort of protest/support of this travesty, hundreds of
other women willingly cut out their tongue and speak by handing out
little cards that say "Hi! I am an Ellen Jamesian."
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