Another Night and Day Alliance 257

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

                              
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     '                                                                  ' 
    '   anada                  "Neuroinhibitor"                  13 jan  ' 
   '     257                      by Michael                      2001    ' 
  `                                                                        ` 
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        welcome those recurring thoughts as much as recurring nightmares. 
 both more vivid than opposites.  sometimes at least. not so much an 
 obsession as an escape.  run away if you must.  In your head is fine for 
 subtle moments; for longer tragedies, stay at home for a while and gel.  and 
 someone once told me the majority of people don't really care or take the 
 time to think about these thoughts that I have.  had to love that. 

        Ignorance.  not using as a derogatory word here.  just meant as able 
 to ignore.  used to hope anti-depressants somehow anagonized  as a 
 neurotransmitter, the one that lets this so-called clarity state run my 
 life.  never bothered to research though.*  would rather pay attention to 
 everyone and their nuances that I long for myself.  and just like 
 infatuation, wouldn't want to give that up.  the constant wondering of how 
 people can do the things they do without seeming to give a second conscious 
 thought.  like tattoos and band shirts; fishing.  (not pertaining to water) 
 may sound so trivial, but just a start. 

        little things comprise us I think.  can never start grandeur.  and 
 emphasis or learned emphasis determines everything.  to exemplify: would 
 have mentioned sexual intercourse but too much emphasis on that.  back to 
 giving up or ignorance.  If an anti-depressant actually does what I used to 
 hope it did, a semi-matrix-type world may be in effect.  for you (the 
 reader, maybe) hope you are on the inside with the option of choosing the 
 blue pill.  for some others, and me we must sell out each other to get 
 there.  (block that neurotransmitter at any cost) and not being 
 condescending here.  different people.  In different positions.  Experience. 
 at this point, rather be in the position of those with the pill choice 
 position.  fucking woderland.  wow! must be nice.  though probably still 
 take the red pill and say all of this from a different perspective then. 

        remember happiness? would be the new interrogative statement of a 
 new lifetime.  and even though seems as if superficial or faux happiness, 
 happy is happy right?  wouldn't really sell anyone out to get there though. 
 and actually wouldn't go there anyway.  would miss all this.  probably 
 wouldn't miss anything since anagonization would take place and thinking 
 stopped.  at least thinking as such.  but at this moment, I just can't push 
 myself to give up wondering about everyone. 

 
        * though I can give you a brief summary of a theory of nicotine 
 helping reduce the risk of alzeimers's disease because of it's agonizing 
 (not anagonizing) effect. 

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  '                                                                        '  
 `   anada257   by Michael                          (c) 2001 anada e'zine   `