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y0lk-096
================================================================================
=========[ y0lk #96 ]===========================================================
=========[ cOsmic revelations, fever induced flashbacks, and pedOphilia ]=======
================================================================================
I decided to conform to y0lk standard t-phile format. No more anarchy and
elite penii shooting jizz at stick men for me. I feel like a sell out. No
wait, I AM a sellout.
=========[ yOu are just a lamer ]===============================================
Thats damn right I'm a lamer. I invented 0 day lameness.. I release shareware
games, I use TheDraw (c) Fonts in my ascii, I like punk rock, I like to report
pir8 b04rdZ to the SPA, etc, etc... I could go on and on, but that is even more
boring than the rest of the shit I write.
=========[ this is fucking retarded ]===========================================
you've got a good point.
I noticed that fevers are a very cool thing.
I was at work today and it was fun.
Working at a photo lab has its advantages, which should be painfully obvious to
anyone out there. First of all, I get the usual run of pornographic pictures of
chicks doing wierd shit. Normally, we're supposed to not print that stuff.
However, I have a cool boss.
You may have heard of him.
Rad Man of ACid Productions (c)
=========[ wOW! o-D4y eLITe!#!@ yOU wORK fOR rADmAN!@# ]========================
Yes, I know, it is extremely cool
RadMan and I have a secret group of elite pedophile traders which we supply with0-day pedoporn from our phOtOlAb. Its called "RazOr 1912: pOrn Sextion".
Damn, this is really dumb.
=========[ you're damn skippy it is ]===========================================
"you're damn skippy"? Where the hell did that saying come from?
=========[ I'm from the midwest... ]===========================================
I see.. Thats ok.. Lots of cool people are from the Midwest... Like..
hmm...
That one dood, with the Lobster Hands... "LObster Boy".. He's from like Ohio
probably. Speaking of Ohio... Wh0dini is from Ohio.
Coincidence? I really doubt it.
=========[ get to the hallucination dammit ]====================================
Sorry.
As the title of this y0lk suggests, this is somewhat about fever induced flash-
backs. In fact this whole thing has been written under the influence of a very
high, very elite, {very sexxee, underage and very elite} fever. I can feel
the house music bleeding in my head.
=========[ "bleeding in your head"@$!@$ wTF? ]==================================
I've noticed that people who've done a lot of acid in their lives talk like
that a lot... Make weird, irrelevant statements about pointless shit.
Maybe its a computer dork thing.
How many computer people really do acid?
I used to do a lot of acid. I regret it.
But I like to see fish floating in bubbles of neon sadness
=========[ SHUT THE FUCK UP!#@!#!@#!@# ]========================================
Oh yeah. Um.. I was driving home from work today, and the road was moving.
This was because of the fever. Maybe it was because, according to Reverend
Bobito Gustavonous of Rome who fortold this in 8023 Bc, today is the first
day of the eLiTE eQUINoX..
It is a time to be merry my brothers.
Bask in your eliteness... for soon it is time between people who like to use
the "Web" and we h4x0rz to commence. There will be much bloodshed, there will
be much anarchy...
=========[ zzz ]================================================================
My inside sources told me that domino's pizza is really own by Intergalactic
Space Mafiosos...
Thats why it sucks so much.
Damn foriegners.
=========[ me gusta tener sexo con animales, por me pene es muy levantado ]=====
Huh?
I will now teach you modern day ph34x0r1n6@##!@3213 31337 5ty13@!#
Here is how to phreak... I just got this file yesterday, its only 1 daY!@#!@#
=========[ teach us o' modern day mitnick ]=====================================
__/\__ \o_ HoW tO pH34X0r _o/ .............
\ Oo / - dAmn, dIS <\ bY pH34k-4-tH0n ! <\ : r3l3453d: :..._/_\/_\....iS eLit3!......a LEGiON oF lAMERZ t-PHiLE............: o5/23/83 :
:...........:
h3LL0 mUH f3LL0 pHR4x0RZ.. 3y3 y4M pHR34K-4-tH0n oF LoL.. pH34R uzZ..
aNYW4Y.. tH1S i5 aB0UT tHE k-K00L3ST w4Y t0 pHR34X0R tH3 pH0N3 c0MP4N-3. iT
h45 aLW4YZ w0RKED F0R m3, bU+ eY3 y4M tH3 sH1T...
pHR34X0RiN6 f0R tH3 eL1T3...
1) g0 t0 tH3 m4LL.. tH3 m4LL sUX0RZ.. bUT e3T iZZ nECeSARY f0R tH1S t0 w0RK...
2) g0 t0 a p4YPH0N3.
3) w41T aR0UNd f3R p30PL3 w1TH c4RDZZ.. sM0K3 s0M3 cIGZ.. uS3 tH3 pR0CT0R t35T
s3T t0 wAST3 s0M3 t1M3.
4) wH3N tH3 p3RS0N wIF tH3 c0D3Z c0M35... h1T h1M wIF y3R sK4T3B04Rd.
(note: if you do not own a skateboard, then you are not elite,
stop reading)
5) t4K3 tH15 p3RS0N'Zz C4RDz. n0W y0U aR3 31337..
6) c0NGR4TUL4TI0NZ@@#! y3W jU5T pHR34X0R3D!#@ n0T m4N-3 p33PL3 aR3 tH15 31337..
y0U w1LL n0W b3 pH34R3D..
oTH3R s3KR3T w4YZ t0 h4CK tH3 t3LC0!#@!#$!@$
1) sT1CK s0M3 dYN0M1T3 iN tH3 c0IN r3TURN...
2) l00K iN tHE c0IN r3TURN f3R f0RG0TT3N qU4RT3RZ...
3) c4LL tH3 0p3R4T0R aND s4Y tH3 f0LL0WIN6:
(l1STeD iN oRD3R uV eLIT3N3ZZ)
A) h3Y b4BY! mUH c0X h4RD.
B) iZ yEWR r3FR1G3R4ToR rUNN1N6?
C) eY3D l1K3 t0 pL4C3 a cOLL3CT k4LL pL34S3.
{what is your name sir?}
mIKE oXARD
p3T3R g0ZINYA
hAYWOOD jABLOWME
aNIT4 h4NDJ0B
mIKE hUNT
tH3 eL1T3 a554551N.
pHR34K-4-tH0N (b3 c4R3FUl WIf mUH n4M3, tH3Y wILL tR4C3
iT, aND s3ND tH3 fBI@!#@!# n0 j0KE!!@)
tHAT iS ALl EyE hAV3 t0 s4Y f3R tH1S iSSU3.. r3M3MB3R.. oNL3 tH3 tRUL-3 eL173
sH0UlD uS3 tH3S3 tR1Ckz!@#
=========[ EOF ]================================================================
Hmm.. Thats about it now.. I took two sudafeds about an hour ago, so my
coordination is falling.. cool.. everything is fuzzy..
MORAL: Fev3r k1x0r 0-d4y a55@$@$@$@4
---(samurai-notes)-----------------------------------------------------------
well, that spinsane guy sure is... ummm...
"dewdleboyish."
---(index)-------------------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $
$ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $
$ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours? $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money $ lumpy $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road? $ insane $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern $ mutter $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself $ creed $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two $ creed $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta) $ creed $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles $ ideal $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays $ phorce $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..." $ mutter $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. $ traq $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants $ rage $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone $ ideal $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle $
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother $ sphrog $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky $ jamesy $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears $ murmur $
$ 77 $ horror story $ oeb $
$ 78 $ dat wh0re $ s.sheep $
$ 79 $ the ewok rant $ taraxis $
$ 80 $ the arcade avenger $ tao $
$ 81 $ the night before 2600 $ d.cheez $
$ 82 $ journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist $ taraxis $
$ 83 $ a generic y0lk file $ mogel $
$ 84 $ cultural inclination? $ m.head $
$ 85 $ australia through the eyes of a spoon $ spoony $
$ 86 $ the life of a demented sysop $ spoony $
$ 87 $ little johnny carpenter $ franman $
$ 88 $ phan male $ ideal $
$ 89 $ bighurt is back!# $ bighurt $
$ 90 $ the discovery channel $ sphrog $
$ 91 $ fruitopia caps!@#$ $ bighurt $
$ 92 $ the story of carla $ trip $
$ 93 $ a joltcola y0lk $ joltcola$
$ 94 $ spinsane's story $ spinsane$
$ 95 $ fish pillows, mothers, and limericks $ sphrog $
$ 96 $ cOsmic revelations, fever induced flashbacks, and pedOph...$ spinsane$
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
--(infoez)-------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@ beware!#
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
[clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member. no one knows.]
heil creed. <HEIL!# HEIL!#>
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp://ftp.openix.com/ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet. type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.
_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!# join the y0lk mailing list!# chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!# email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isn't that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
OR OR OR!@ the *official* y0lk html is at http://www.openix.com/~phorce/y0lk/
OR!# coming soon! micro ("pirate") radio!# a y0lk hour-of-fun ON THE AIR!#
(sorry, available only for those in the northern new jersey area.)
don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up? it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
