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y0lk-089
- ( y0lk 89 ) - -/-/-/--------------------------------------------------------
- --- --] look who is back? [-- --- -
- ( intro ) - -/-/-/----------------------------------------------------------
well, i got really bored. and i'm waiting for my friend to pick up before
school starts. i will probably have to continue this later, but "it's all
good."
as you have noticed i've been gone from writing y0lk's for about three months.
why you ask? well, it is quite simple. i went off into hiding for awhile to
think of new ideas text zine. well, for some odd reason i name for the zine
popped into my head and well, then ideas for things to put in their. and i
also got writers, that left me. but, that is okay. just for you, that haven't
been following my zine, it is called yellow journal and the third issue was
just released. so get up off your ass and like get it.
- ( school ) - -/-/-----------------------------------------------------------
since i have nothing better to do until baseball practice and while i'm
downloading some files off of the internet, i've decided to tell you about
my wonderful day at school today.
my friend picked me up shortly after i started the issue earlier today. we
got into his truck and listen to some music and shortly after that we
arrived at the school. he parked his truck and that was that. we went to get
something to eat and talk to some friends before the long day of bullshiting
started.
the bell rang and it was off to first hour. everything went smooth first
hour and we even got to start drawing pictures in class about things and
events that happend during the 1950's (what a long time ago that was).
the bell rang, went to drop my bag and seattle mariners hat off next door,
which is my second hour classroom. by this time i had to take a major piss,
so i headed for the bathroom (maybe i should have took a piss at home before
school started).
second hour started. i watched the morning announcments and got to work on
a paper on current issues in the news. my second hour teacher is also my
school baseball coach and summer ball baseball coach. after all of that
stupid work, i talked to him for awhile and then the bell rang once again
letting us go to our next class.
third hour started and i have the brother of the girl i like sitting up sit
up and across to my right. he is pretty cool and i'm starting to treat him
a little bit nicer, just in case for some weird reason i hook up with his
sister. i slept for most of the notes and got the last three examples or so
of the notes. the teacher gives us the homework and a take home quiz that is
due this friday. after i sleep for awhile more, i wake up and talk to
everyone around me to make conversation, then that fucking bell rings again.
fourth hour was really basic. i enter class, sit down for awhile, then get up
to see if i can go to the computer lab and bullshit my way to get out of
homeroom. within a few minutes i'm sitting on my ass playing a computer game
called pyro II (if you want it, e-mail me. it is cool).
fifth hour begins. we hand in homework and notes. she starts talking about
the stupid questions, then i dose off into a world of dreams. a place where
fantasies come true. well, i walk up and it is time to go to lunch.
lunch time. though i'm hungry a little bit, but feeling not-so-great, i
decided to just get a snickers bar and a coke. i sit down and eat about half
of the candy bar and throw the rest away. drink the rest of my coke and
dispose of the can. the people i play hacky sack with everyday arrive and we
bust out a hacky sack and start to hack it up.
lunch is over and it is time to go to computer programming. since i'm not
feeling good still, i decided to not do any work and walk around class and
talk to my fellow classmates. they elect to do the same thing and fuck around
with me. almost the whole class doesnt do anything. that is how you can tell
it is almost of the end of the school year (thank god!@#$).
time to go to eighth hour. woa, this is probably one of the best hours of the
day besides homeroom and my first two hours. why you ask. well, remember that
female human being that i said i liked earlier in my wonderful story? yes,
she is in this hour.
she has blonde hair, blue eyes, she is slim and musclar. she has a nice
buttock =]. for all of you guys out their that are saying, "tell us about
her boobs!" well, they are not-so-big-but-decent-size. her face is like
silk and she hsa this look of a happy and beautiful women. for awhile i've
been meaning to get her number after i give her signs and she smiles back,
but i always lose her in the crowd after class. today that same thing
happened.
i tried this little trick that i read on the internet to make a girl show
you "some ass" (as they say). well, i was suprised to see the technique work
so well. since she was wearing a knee high dress, when she somewhat bent over
to lean against the podium, it was a sight to see. you could see her well
figured buttock in front of me. not to far away, but one of my friends head
was in the way and everyone was enjoy themselves. i think they all owe me
a lot for what i got her to do. the bell rang and class was over for today
and of course i lost her in the halls again when leaving school (sucks!@$%).
i went home with my friend, but this time i had to sit in the back of the
truck. i got home within a few minutes of leaving school, because my friend
was racing at top speeds trying to flip me out of the back of his truck. i
opened the door and the house was empty. i went into the kitchen and got
something to eat and filled up my 64 ounce cup with water (to clean out my
body for when i take a drug test. well not really, but for baseball today).
and then i decided to sit down a tell you my day. and here i am.
- ( me ) -/-/-/---------------------------------------------------------------
well, remember i left y0lk. hooch said something that i've thought about and
have decided to come back and write for y0lk a little bit more often. i'm
going to try my best to continue to write for y0lk as often as i can. since
i will have to balance that with yellow journal, baseball and the last part
of school year.
after school is over, everything will be a lot easier to do. but, i will lose
a lot of sleep from little social gatherings with my good friends and late
night baseball games.
i'm here for y0lk, if their here for me.
(so maybe a fwe y0lk members, could like write a few stories for yellow
journal. hint. hint.)
- ( the end ) -/-/-/----------------------------------------------------------
i felt this was a good issue. you learned a little bit more about me and why
i was gone. anyways, talk to me sometime on irc, in #zines or email me at
lowen@goodnet.com. well, this is big hurt saying quits for this issue of
that most outstanding zine, Y0LK.
- ( divider ) -/-/-/----------------------------------------------------------
this divider is trademarked and can't be used without the written persmission
of big hurt, yellow journal inc, or y0lk. =]
- ( noteszs ) -/-/-/----------------------------------------------------------
phorce again.
just wanted to tell you to go suck on a cow's nipples.
you'd probably enjoy it, you sick bastard.
- ( index thing ) -/-/-/------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $
$ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $
$ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours? $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money $ lumpy $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road? $ insane $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern $ mutter $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself $ creed $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two $ creed $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta) $ creed $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles $ ideal $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays $ phorce $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..." $ mutter $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. $ traq $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants $ rage $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone $ ideal $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle $
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother $ sphrog $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky $ jamesy $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears $ murmur $
$ 77 $ horror story $ oeb $
$ 78 $ dat wh0re $ s.sheep $
$ 79 $ the ewok rant $ taraxis $
$ 80 $ the arcade avenger $ tao $
$ 81 $ the night before 2600 $ d.cheez $
$ 82 $ journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist $ taraxis $
$ 83 $ a generic y0lk file $ mogel $
$ 84 $ cultural inclination? $ m.head $
$ 85 $ australia through the eyes of a spoon $ spoony $
$ 86 $ the life of a demented sysop $ spoony $
$ 87 $ little johnny carpenter $ franman $
$ 88 $ phan male $ ideal $
$ 89 $ bighurt is back!# $ bighurt $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
- ( infoez ) -/-/-/----------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk.
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@ beware!#
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
[clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member. no one knows.]
heil creed. <HEIL!# HEIL!#>
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet. type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.
_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!# join the y0lk mailing list!# chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!# email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isn't that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up? it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
