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y0lk-091
- --] y0lk number 91 : fruitopia caps!@#$ [-- -
-- ( yes, i'm back again ) --
it's me again. that wonderful y0lk guru, big hurt. also, known as the big
ouchy man and just plain ol' hurt. if you are just tunning into the world
of y0lk then guess what, i returned in issue number 89. but, if you wanna
find out why i left in the first place, then you will have to grab all of
them to find out why. so har har har.
-- ( see, i'm a talking divider ) --
my dividers can talk like everyone elses. so har har har.
-- ( y0lktv ) --
coming to a station near you. we've got y0lktv. look for it this summer. but
here are some shows you will see on the new channel.
the creed show - hosted by that wacky y0lk member, creed. he has guest stars
and looney contests that the audience can win. if you're in
the audience you might be able to win your own "the creed
show" t-shirt, along with a bag fool of y0lktv and y0lk
goodies in a bag. woo woo.
the music hour - other than playing music videos between every show and one
at every commerical break, we've got the music hour, were
we play the hottest and latest music to come out.
the toons hour - the first week, we will have a double edge chalked filled
with this show. since cartoons just plain out rule. since
you can make them do whatever you want. also, in the first
week. you can make up a script and send it in. the best one
will win and will be made up and put on the show.
yellow journal - well, since big hurt threated us, we had to put his show
on the air. and he wanted it to be called yellow journal,
so that his zine name would get recognized more. hurt will
babble about anything dealing with his zine to the colors
of his boxer shorts.
the zine world - yes, we've got the zine world. were we stick a bunch of
established zine peoples, two somewhat established zine
writers, along with smuck that we find off of the street
corner. they all will be put into an apartment or house
for a couple months until they all go insane or make the
best zine ever.
today in zines - today in zines is a news show that updates you everyday
about the zine scene and about the people in the zine
scene. you might find out the foods that mogel eats or
what type of girlies trip hangs out with or even find out
how big hurt really is.
-- ( fruitopia caps ) --
there is a big thing going around about fruitopia caps. they are starting to
scarse. they are like a gold nugget and they are sure hard to come by. they
are silver caps that can you get into places, get you free stuff, and get
you discounts on special items.
you might even be able to use them to get the girl that you like to marry you
and pay for your honeymoon.
"woa$# i got a fruitopia cap!#$@"
to think we got a new currency laying right under our noses. get ride of the
paper money and silver coins. all we have to do is collect a shit load of
fruitopia caps and then when they decide to switch over the currency, the
ones that were smart and took my advise will be thilthy rich bastards.
probably richier than that computer geek, bill gates (unless he does the
same).
_______________
| |
-- | | -- <== (this is a wall)
|_______________| wack, wack, wack. oh yeah.
hey divider. what are you doing back there.
_______________
| |
-- | | -- <== (this is a wall again.)
|_______________| umm, nothing at all. get out of here.
sure whatever. i think you are masterbating back there.
you know, every divider does it.
_______________
| |
-- | | -- <== (this is still the damn wall.)
|_______________| really.
-- ( good bye ) --
i'm sorry to say that mr divider and me have to go. but stay tuned in and
look for me to write in another issue of y0lk soon. and mr divider will
have a new style, so you will have to definitely come back and see that.
*** big hurt, y0lk pImp
-- ( samurai-notes ) --
bighurt's come a long way, i guess. he's purty eleet now. i lub'em.
-- ( index thinger ) --
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
$ 44 $ mogel's own very special personalized $1 y0lk issue $ phorce $
$ 45 $ your burro is no jackass! $ creed $
$ 46 $ rollerskates, indians, eagles and cougars $ creed $
$ 47 $ outer space, ice cream, streetcars and gophers $ creed $
$ 48 $ Evan the genius becomes enlightened and melts his face off $ creed $
$ 49 $ 6 insignificant ziners in a bowling microcosm of life $ creed $
$ 50 $ the best of the worst $ creed $
$ 51 $ the prince of darkness versus some guy named dave $ trip $
$ 52 $ ode to my feet $ creed $
$ 53 $ hopelessly lost $ poots $
$ 54 $ the schoolhouse r0x!# $ phorce $
$ 55 $ campbell's chicken-noodle soup omen of death $ creed $
$ 56 $ dead cats $ juke $
$ 57 $ my inner taco $ handle $
$ 58 $ my place, or yours? $ mercuri $
$ 59 $ how to really use that spiffy monopoly money $ lumpy $
$ 60 $ struggle wif the giant pink elephant $ lucifer $
$ 61 $ why did the chicken cross the road? $ insane $
$ 62 $ y0lk test pattern $ mutter $
$ 63 $ ELiTE LiT from the master himself $ creed $
$ 64 $ creed's k-rad lit archives, volume two $ creed $
$ 65 $ UNSOPHISTICATED FASCIST BASTARDS. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME. $ creed $
$ 66 $ how y0lk saved my life (sorta) $ creed $
$ 67 $ shiny nickles, no more TP, and shitty knuckles $ ideal $
$ 68 $ some puppet plays $ phorce $
$ 69 $ "... Hello operator ..." $ mutter $
$ 70 $ i bit my nail, now my finger is bleeding. $ traq $
$ 71 $ battle of the ants $ rage $
$ 72 $ fun on the phone $ ideal $
$ 73 $ yabba-dabba do, scooby-dooby do, and many other mysteries..$ handle $
$ 74 $ i love you as my own mother $ sphrog $
$ 75 $ jamesy and the giant slinky $ jamesy $
$ 76 $ do not fuck with the big and hairy bears $ murmur $
$ 77 $ horror story $ oeb $
$ 78 $ dat wh0re $ s.sheep $
$ 79 $ the ewok rant $ taraxis $
$ 80 $ the arcade avenger $ tao $
$ 81 $ the night before 2600 $ d.cheez $
$ 82 $ journey into the mind of a no-brained counterculturist $ taraxis $
$ 83 $ a generic y0lk file $ mogel $
$ 84 $ cultural inclination? $ m.head $
$ 85 $ australia through the eyes of a spoon $ spoony $
$ 86 $ the life of a demented sysop $ spoony $
$ 87 $ little johnny carpenter $ franman $
$ 88 $ phan male $ ideal $
$ 89 $ bighurt is back!# $ bighurt $
$ 90 $ the discovery channel $ sphrog $
$ 91 $ fruitopia caps!@#$ $ bighurt $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
-=[infoez]=------------------------------------------------------------------
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
phoenix 201 is the official eleet telecom section of y0lk.
hooch is the stupendous chief shephard of y0lk.
phorce is the head samurai of y0lk!@ beware!#
mindcrime is a crazed oriental looking for revenge.
[clarification: mindcrime may actually be a y0lk member. no one knows.]
heil creed. <HEIL!# HEIL!#>
to get all the rest of the y0lks, ftp to ftp.openix.com /ftp/phorce/y0lk
or... call our world headquarters, erebus, at 201-762-1373. k-rad.
*or*... look for "y0lkb0t" on irc, efnet. type "@y0lk (number)" for y0lks.
_OR_... ATTENTION y0lkies!# join the y0lk mailing list!# chat about y0lk
and all them other zines, too!# email listserv@magsystems.com with the line
"subscribe y0lk" in the body of the message.
OR! *new* alt.zines.y0lk! subscribe today! yes, folks, YOU can READ the
NEWSGROUP alt.zines.y0lk! isn't that special? join y0lknet too. thank phorce.
if you have ANY normal internet provider, you can read alt.zines.y0lk!@
don't you feel like you're getting a little too much information here?
couldn't we just show our ftp site and shut up? it's just sad that we
have to advertise all our cheap media at the bottom of every textfile
like this. what a bunch of losers we are.
