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y0lk-027
-----------------------------------------------------------(y0lk number 26)--
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'pretty lame header by, belial'
--(confusion)----------------------------------------------------------------
w0w. Alright I am back again. Yes. It is me, the grand master of
spunk.
Who? Well, it is none other than b3lial, d0e, I mean belial. I was
just about to go on mtv yack on aol. Cool huh!@
I was going to be elite and confuse everyone and make them think i'm
a nut job. Right, but I would really be making fun of everyone in the good
old tongue of the elite.
y3w 4Ll $uX0rZ!@ <--- they would never be able to screen that. leaves
me to say only one thing... muhhahhah
this issue. oh yea, well this issue is called, 'brief mental pause'!@
Because that is exactly what this issue is.
-----------------------------------------------------------------(blahblah)--
'lame days are here again!@'
wake up.
pick asshole.
sniff finger.
check if computer didn't fry overnight.
shower.
go back to sleep.
wake up late.
get dressed fast.
spray some ck1.
watch Animaniacs (the first skit).
leave for school.
arrive late for ap history.
take 40+ pages of notes.
leave class, pissed off at the world.
go to film appreciation.
watch some movie.
go to creative writing.
do nothing. no credits this year, i passed it last year. taking it again for
some reason.
stay put for ap english 4.
fail bad.
go to study hall and read my fantasy book.
go to lunch, look at all the lamers who i go to school with and get really
depressed.
off for home ec.
this class sucks, i hate it sooo much.
go to gym and play basketball or sit because lame gym teachers can't figure
out something for us to do when it rains. assholes, what are they going to
do during the winter.
go to computer science one and program some lame ass stupid good for nothing
programs that don't do anything for anyone.
walk fucking 1 mile home.
get home and check again if computer didn't fry.
go in room, close door, read book again till I fall asleep.
get woken up by father and harassed because I don't have a job, licensce or
anything else really.
eat dinner.
write some shit.
poll alderaan for y0lknet and go to sleep or stay up all night writing some
text file.
Actually... I don't suck that bad. I'm going to fix that _very_ soon,
I'm in a sorta rut right now. I've been looking for a job, but I'm really
choosy so I haven't found a good one yet.
I used to be a little more active, but sports got to my brain and I
realized that I would _NEVER_ be making money from sports, so I quit.
I plan on going to devry when I graduate. So maybe then I'll get a
pretty rad job.
--(i rule, thanx to creed for inspiration)-----------------------------------
Whoa. Get this. In the paper the other day someone was selling a
laptop computer 286 deal for 375 dollars. I need a laptop bad, so I called up
and said I would buy it and I want to come over and look at it, and most
likely buy it right there.
My mother calls up today to find out if he was home so we can visit.
The mother fucking asshole sold the fucking computer!@ I was never so pissed
off in my life. The guy is now ranked very highly on my super asshole list.
-------------------------------------------------------------(i'm in pain!)--
You should be.
--(I bet)--------------------------------------------------------------------
I bet you are asking yourself right now "what the hell is the point
of this issue," well let me tell you.
This issue has no point. I'm really bored and really pissed off so I
am writing for this group that I supposedly hate.
Live with it.
----------------------------------------------------------------------(no!)--
Lets talk about life in general.
I don't see what the point of it is. I mean, we do stuff live, and I
guess some people are happy, but why? Why the hell was I born.
I hate people who say money can't buy you happiness. That is the
biggest mother fucking lie I ever heard. Bullshit. Money in this fucked up
world is _EVERYTHING_. If you don't have money you can't afford the things
you want that would make you happy. Who is anyone fooling by saying that! You
can't do shit without money.
Do you think that homeless people living in their cute little
cardboard boxes are happy. I sure as shit wouldn't be. I bet it makes you
real happy to know that you can't -afford- to go out and -buy- your child
something to eat or something to wear.
bullshit. life is one big fucking twisted meaningless joke.
--(feel my pain!@)-----------------------------------------------------------
Well, now that I shed that. Lets get down to some business.
story time.
------------------------------------------------------------------(oh god!)--
speaking of god. there is no fucking god! live with it.
--(ok)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
back to the story.
It was a pretty nasty night in fairy land. The evil guy sat in his
room listening to some Megadeth, while off in the corner the three captured
souls suffered in agony.
"What the hell! I am so sick of listening to this damn music. Can't
this bastard get anything new. Come on." whispered one of the captured
people.
"I know dude. This sux. I'm dying here. Save me dude, like throw a
rope. I'm sinking." said one of the other half-crazed prisoners.
"Uhm, whatever dude." said the third.
All three prisoners sat huddled in their cage listening to the putred
music, grumbling and complaining.
"SHUT THE HELL UP YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!@" yelled the evil guy.
"FUCK YOU!" the prisoners yelled back.
Then the pissed off evil guy whipped out a shotgun and started
shooting at the prisoners. Because his eyes were really bad, he missed and
the prisoners heckled him from their cage.
By now, the evil man was totally pissed. He ran up to the cage and
started kicking it. The prisoners were thrown all about the cage and began
vomiting.
As he was kicking the cage, the evil man accidentally slipped in the
puke and fell. The prisoners laughed so hard that they were holding their
sides, like they were going to fall out.
The evil man shook his hands at the sky in fury and then with awesome
strengh he lifted the cage and threw it against the wall. He ran to his table
and pulled out an axe. Running to the cage, he yelled and started hacking at
the prisoners. He missed the first few times but then he got one. He slashed
and minced the shit out of him. Then he cought the second and the third ones,
and hacked the shit out them also.
Satisfied, the evil man returned to his desk and began moshing to
himself, listening to his Megadeth.
-------------------------------------------------------(what is the moral?)--
The moral of the story is... Don't diss Megadeth or a death head evil
guy is going to kick your ass.
--(brenda!)------------------------------------------------------------------
Well, it is that time again. Time to close another extremely lame
issue of y0lk, by belial. Can you believe it.
yes, now shut up.
ok.
--------------------------------------------------------------------(dick!)--
I guess those 2 dork editor guys get to look at this now. =)
--(the end)------------------------------------------------------------------
so ends my third issue of y0lk.
good, will you shut up already.
--(w0o)----------------------------------------------------------------------
good issue... uhm, why is it that all the y0lk writers come out with
articles well over 200 lines, and i have trouble splurting out 100 lines? -cd
----------------------------------------------------------------(indexer!@)--
.s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sitting around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering to the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
