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y0lk-045
--(y0lk)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk #45: your burro is no jackass!
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woo. this is great. i just found a book, a childrens' book, called
"your burro is no jackass, and over 100 other things no one ever told you" by
jim aylward. this is great. it is composed of all these statements-- loony
statements... well, you'll see. this issue is just me retyping some quotes
from this book.
--(your burro is no jackass!)--------------------------------------------------
CHAPTER 1: pineapples, sharks, armadillos and lassie
alligators love marshmallows.
snow can be bright red, pink, yellow, green, or blue. most of those colors are
seen at higher altitudes, where various organisms live in the snow.
raspberries and strawberries aren't really berries. they belong to the rose
family.
a pineapple isn't an apple. it's a pineberry.
if your name is jim smith you can join the society of jim smiths. the
organization has some 1,000 members worldwide, all named jim smith. four of
them are women. by the way, the founder of the society of jim smiths is jim
smith.
the very first lassie was named pal. pal, come home?
an armadillo can bury himself in just two minutes in earth so hard your uncle
phil would need a pick ax to chop through it.
more than 220 rhode islands could fit into just one texas.
the shark is nature's vacuum cleaner. sharks eat bottles, tin cans, magazines,
old clothes, anchors, boat propellers, lead sinkers and logs. and, if the moon
is full, americans, norwegians, lithuanians...
gelatin is good for houseplants. watering plants once a month with unflavored
gelatin and four cups of water makes them grow better and produces lush
foliage. cherry, orange, lemon and farn.
a teaspoon of sugar may make the medicine go down, but one teaspoon may not be
the same size as another. teaspoons in silverware sets vary in size from maker
to maker. if it's important to get exactly one teaspoon of medicine, a doctor
will recommend buying one at a pharmacy. mary poppins, please note.
the average human (that could be you!) walks 19,000 steps every day. when you
get up tomorrow keep count.
the civil defense director of bald eagle, pennsylvania, is donald duck. not
the one with feathers and the nephews. this one is a man whose NAME is donald
duck.
playing the piano can use more calories than gymnastic exercises.
when a sloth eats, it takes him almost two weeks to digest his meal. sloths
are slow.
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yeah, that's just chapter one. stay tuned for more of this great book.
