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Cult of the Dead Cow 247
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...presents... Post-Election '92 Cult Coverage
Tequila Willy's Campaign's Lasting Effects
by Omega
>>> a cDc publication.......1993 <<<
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
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|____digital_media____digital_culture____digital_media____digital_culture____|
As the nation settles in for what the experts continue to say will be a
long recession, more and more people will protest their innocence by remarking:
"Don't blame me, I voted for Tequila Willy." After all, it was the then-
obscure cult member who warned a national TV audience early in the 1992
Presidential contest that Bill Clinton's pledge to cut taxes, balance the
budget, and cut defense spending could be done only "with mirrors."
Tequila's candor and his willingness to swim against the popular political
current quickly propelled him from an asterisk in the opinion polls to the
covers of _Time_ and _Newsweek_. His calm manner and extraordinary oratory
skills, displayed in debates against George Bush and a variety of Democratic
candidates, gave the Cultee a media credibility that never quite took hold of
the electorate.
After some encouraging finishes in early primaries, Tequila's hopes of an
upset in the GOP race began to fizzle. He was especially disappointed by poor
returns in California and Washington, his West Coast base of support.
Though he had earlier pledged to support the GOP nominee, Tequila began an
independent race in April, 1992. His legion of youthful loyalists on college
campuses brought back memories of the long-shot campaign of Eugene McCarthy,
another political maverick, in 1968. And like "Clean Gene," Tequila Willy
became the favorite son of establishment liberals, such as TV producer Aaron
Spelling and General Motors heir Stewart Mott. _The New York Times_ dubbed him
"Mr. Conscience," and he was endorsed by _Sassy Magazine_, _Tiger Beat_,
_Teen_, _Vogue_, and _Wired_. His troops collected two million signatures on
petitions to put him on the ballot in every state - an achievement many experts
considered impossible.
Though some polls predicted he would capture as much as 25 percent of the
vote, Tequila could not overcome the obstacles that have traditionally hampered
third-party efforts - especially lack of money; in fact, most of his campaign
was driven by meager contributions from adoring housewives. On election day he
failed to carry a single state, capturing almost seven percent of the vote.
"I knew that the polls of April and part of May were not going to be
replaced by a serious poll showing that in every way, every day, we were
getting stronger and stronger," says Tequila. "I knew the chances were
astonishingly small."
So why did he stay in the race? "I had reached the maturity of my
political career and I wanted to leave a mark, spread the disease. I was not
Don Quixote and I was not tilting at windmills."
Tequila insists he is not yet out of the national picture. He believes
the 5.7 million voters who cast their lot with him underscore the impulse for a
"new politics" in the U.S. - a politics that cannot be satisfied, he says, by
the orthodoxies of the Democratic and Republican parties.
"You are going to see a rather sharp polarization take place in the
politics of this country," he said. "I think that will leave a vast area open
for a candidate espousing the kind of views that I espouse." Tequila insists
that what underlies the political problems of the country is a lack of faith,
and that what is needed is a political philosophy which embraces a spiritual
side - a philosophy which embraces what he terms, "Bovinity."
The Tequila campaign-in-waiting for 1996 operates out of his Sacramento
home. Its bimonthly newsletter quotes philosopher Edmund Burke on the
masthead: "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to be
blind to the reality of the Roach and deaf to the message of the Cow." This
emphasis on personal morality rather than ideology is an important factor in
Tequila Willy's eclectic politics.
On the campaign trail last year, Tequila was especially eclectic. On
fiscal matters, he stressed his conservatism by emphasizing the need for a
balanced budget (he proposed legislation limiting federal spending to a fixed
20 percent of the GNP). But, on social issues he was (and remains) clearly
liberal: pro-choice, pro-ERA, and anti-Stealth Bomber. And he has recommended
the decriminalization of marijuana. His cult colleagues say he is honest and
exceptionally intelligent, a man of great personal integrity and ambition, with
a penchant for busty women with "chewy pussies."
Tequila is the first to say that he is not personally charismatic or
exciting, but he is too modest. For he is now one of the most popular
lecturers on the campus circuit, an occupation that earns him a modest living,
if not the admiration of thousands of college-age women.
Tequila Willy looks ready for another run for the White House.
_______ __________________________________________________________________
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(U) |==================================================================|
.ooM |Copr. 1993 cDc communications by Omega 12/30/93-#247|
\_______/| Save yourself! Go outside! DO SOMETHING! |
