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y0lk-007
[ hail santa! ]
gaah!@*#% it's the biggest header ever! w0w. okay, uhm... y0lk.
--(on with the damn issue!)----------------------------------------------------
ello... uhm, things happen. wow. i changed my handle, someone else
wrote for the zine, mogel is still asking me to write for dto, i'm still
promising i will. heh.
well, this would have been a dto article, but i felt my zine was so
threatened. gah! yeah, hooch wrote an article. y0lk is now officially a
2-man group. i'm so proud of myself. if you don't know who hooch is, call his
board. he loves it. (201)762-1375. i'm shamelessly plugging the y0lk whq...
well, i don't know if it's the hq, but who cares. call if you like this zine.
i changed my handle??? yeah, uhm... stain, of course, was the lamest
handle in the known universe... so i changed it. i'm creed now. you can call
me julio if you want, tho.
and, the last thing in this little my-life-update here. mogel keeps
asking me to write something for dto... what's the point??? i'm a terrible
phucking writer, he wouldn't print the article anyway. well, i'm flattered,
but i'm not convinced i should do it.
--(sorry man, i don't care about your life.)-----------------------------------
ohh yeah. on with the senseless garbage and bad grammar. hail y0lk.
--(w3rd!@$&!*#@ i lub garbage!)-----------------------------------------------
time for another mogel-esque h/p/a/v/c/t/l/4/m/3 section! just what
you were looking for, right?
--(well, no... but that's ok)--------------------------------------------------
yeah, i thought so.
HOW TO GET RID OF A FED
DANGER: ***** Sunday, 09/17, 11:13pm
FUN: * WHAT YOU NEED: a gun
DISCLAIMER: this textfile was written for the purposes of education only. i
know for a fact that there are plenty of young scholars out there
studying all the aspects of fed-killing, and looking for sources
like this. like, for school and stuff. i, in no way, am
encouraging or even SUGGESTING that one might go out and kill
a fed, i'm just telling people how in case they want to.
yes, if you're a teenage hax0r/phreaker, you must have some sort of
angst towards the feds. my suggestion is to indulge in some sort of meditation
to calm yourself down, and eliminate the angst. but that's why i'm not a
hax0r, i guess. i assume that the true elite ones always have the urge to get
rid of a fed. i have devised a plan to get a fed off your back, cuz y'know...
they're always there.
STEP ONE: purchase a gun. a gun is a deadly weapon, composed of
different metals, used to fire a projectile out and kill
something. it looks something like this poorly-made ascii
diagram. ___,________________ ,.
\___ / ÍÍ <- - b3wm#%(!(#%*!
gun -> / _________/__/' \~`
/ / _/
/ / ____
\_____/ bullet -> |__|_>
STEP TWO: once you have the gun, load it with bullets, as shown above.
STEP THREE: find a fed, if you can, and aim the gun at him.
STEP FOUR: pull the trigger with your forefinger once or twice. if the
fed does not die as a result to this, run like hell.
YEAH!(#*%!(&#%!& aNaRCHy rules!!! kids like me are gonna take this
country back with textfiles like this!!! beware!#(*%!(#%!
--(wow! i'm gonna try that!)--------------------------------------------------
you better. now, another of my own creations, a plan for global
improvement. in our first installment, i showed you all how to make our
country more like canada. well, apparently you haven't done that, so pay more
attention this time, damnit!@*#&#@
--(sorry)----------------------------------------------------------------------
s'ok. now, the next way i plan to improve the world is to actually get
rid of one of our most used technologies, something we have taken for granted
far too long. i plan to abolish clothing.
think about it... living costs would fall greatly, we would reproduce
a whole lot faster, and society would kill all the freaks, deviants, steroid
abusers, and normal wimpy guys. we'd become a civilization of heterosexual,
healthy, self-controlled people with large weiners! that would rule! ok, so
here's my plan.
if you have clothes, take them off right now. go ahead, do it. you're
probably alone at your computer and it's probably pretty late at night. ok,
done? now, mail all your clothes to:
david negley
23 sheepfield farms drive
new vernon, nj, 07976
also, if you are female, take a picture of yourself right now, and mail
it to me, along with all of your clothes.
the world has been modified and improved. thank you.
--(you rule, man.)-------------------------------------------------------------
i know, i can't help it. it's a chore.
2 y0lk issues in 2 days. i rock. of course, i didn't write the first
one, so, we rock. y0lk rocks. well, no it doesn't. ok, let's say that y0lk
does a good job of releasing their issues. sometimes.
all right then.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
editor's note: i'm not even going to bother with the editor's note this time.
the joke is dying down. i can't edit myself, blah blah, etc.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
index of y0lk issues:
,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $. title `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 1 `$ the other white meat `$
$ 2 $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$ 3 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $
$ 4 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $
$ 5 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $
$ 6 $ gah! y0lk #six! no title! $
$. 7 ,$ hail santa! ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
issues 1-5 and 7 by creed (stain)
issue 6 by hooch
note: if you have written an issue, you are a y0lk member, have a y0lk member
board, etc. woo.
