Amerikan Junkie 033

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Amerikan Junkie

 · 5 years ago

  

HACKING A URINE ANALYSIS TEST 
by Amerikan Junkie 
033 

   (_)_)=====D~~~~  HACKING A URINE ANALYSIS TEST 

 
  So your on probation, and you didnt have the will power, now 
your about to get anally raped by your PO cause in 2 days you 
got a UA. What do you do?  
  Chances are if you do happen to be in this situation, you 
probably know how to get out of it. But in case there are 
those people who were never completly clued in, I will 
describe a few ways you can get rid of those toxins. 

1. TOXINS 

  So you know that the toxins that are left behind are what is 
going to get you busted. Toxins hide in a few different parts 
of the body: 
             a) Blood Stream 
             b) Kidneys 
             c) Liver 
             d) Fatty Tissues 
             e) Hair Folicles 

 
2. HOW LONG AGAIN? 

  Now, Toxins are usually out of your blood stream in 24-48 Hours.  
They generally disperse from the Kidneys in 48-64 hours. Toxins leave 
the liver in a couple of weeks. They stay in the fatty tissues sometimes 
for up to a month; and toxins are traceable in hair folicles for up to 
5 years! 

[NOTE: You probably wont have to worry about a hair folicle test,  
       because they do not want to know your drug history. And they 
       cant tell WHEN you did them from a folicle test. They can 
       only tell which ones you did.] 

3. HOW DO I GET THIS SHIT OUT? 

  There are numerous ways to make your urine clean, or even mask 
it for a few hours, and make it "seem clean". If you go buy some 
"Zygote", or "Terminator GOLD 60", they all contain one thing 
in common.....CREATIN (cree-uh-tin). Yea, the weight gain, muscle 
building bullshit. Creatin gets in your fatty tissue, and does some 
wild shit, and masks the toxins for a few hours, holding them in the 
fat, instead of releasing them. 
  Now, it is theoretically possible to drink a few creatin drinks  
before having to go administor the test, piss a few times before you 
leave, and you should be good to go for 3 hours or so. 

 If you dont want to take your chances on that then you can do several 
things: 

     a) Water. Drink SHITLOADS of it. Try and force the toxins out of 
        your system. About 1 gallon every 6 hours for 4 days should 
        be sufficient. Ive had a friend drink 4 gallons about a hour 
        before he went, and passed. 

     b) CERTO! This powerful cleaning supplement can be found in your 
        local grocery store in the cleaning section. Mix this powder 
        shit in some water, and drink. TASTES NASTY. GARUNTEED TO WORK. 
        (also known as shure-a-gel) 

     c) PERSCRIPTIONS! Goto the doctor and complain of major kidney 
        pains. Tell him you think you got a kidney infection. Ask  
        him for a thing called "DIA-RETICS". They clean you out in 
        about a week, and turn your piss *BRIGHT* orange. 

     d) DONT USE YOUR PISS, use someone elses. Thats right! Get 
        someone who you know FOR SURE that does not do any drugs, 
        and get him to piss in a cup. Get a visine bottle, and 
        empty the contents. Fill the visine bottle with clean 
        urine, close and TAPE it around the inside of your leg 
        close to your groin about 2 hours before having to go 
        take the test. This is done because the urine has to 
        your body tempature. Thats right! They check the  
        tempature of the urine. So make sure you do that. 
        And the bottle makes lots of high pitched noises when 
        you are emptying the specimen into the container. So 
        try and keep it down. 

 
  
That is all.... 

 
#EOF