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y0lk-013
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Oio y0lk!@ oiO%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
y0lk, coming straight outta' compton
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%Oio y0lk!@ oiO%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
%%%%%%%%%[dIaLChIx!@]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
ok, so the title has nothing to do with what i want to talk about. i just
sorta liked it. i started out with `what a long, strange, dick it's been' &
then i went to `what a long, strange, dick you have' .. but nothing worked.
so i used `y0lk, coming straight outta' compton.' mainly because i like the
root of the word compton, which is `compt' -- `compt' meaning `large black
men' and `ton' meaning `who come straight outta compton.'
anyway.. what i really want to talk about are dialchix. i know, it's a
saddening subject for most of you male dailers out there.. if you've ever met
a dialchick, you know exactly what i'm talking about. nine out of every ten
dialchix fill the following requirements:
-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-dialchix_requrirements!@/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-
þ must weigh over 175 pounds, and be under 5'3" of height
þ if under the age of 12 [oh jesus] they have never drank, know they'll
never smoke, and have gotten past `first base' - they think they might
go farther than that in their life
þ if over the age of 15, they are chain smokers, drink too much, smoke
weed too much, and come on to the guy who owns the 7-11.
þ dial all day, just to hit on dial nerds.
þ must be HEANOUSLY [sp] ugly and fucking annoying as hell.
-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-dialchix_requrirements!@/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-/-\-
sound good? i didn't think so. you'd think.. there are tons of *NORMAL*,
cool guys out there that dial, or are involved with computers [don't get me
wrong, there are tons of dorky guys out there too - witness: kevin mitnick]
but it seems every fucking dialchick is annoying and ugly.. argh.
creed's pretty hot, though. wo0o.
%%%%%%%%%[y0lk#&^]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
does anybody out there actually read this thing? if you do, send creed
email. it's included with this zip file.. his address is in the nfo. and my
address is: hooch.@f712.n2605.z1.fidonet.org .. yeah, it's a fidonet address,
fuck you. i think you need that period after the hooch, too, so don't fuck
that up.
%%%%%%%%%[myD0g!@]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
my dog is so fucking cool, man. her name is maxie.. she like sleeps all day
and then when i come home she does wind sprints around the house. hehe.. she
r0x. and, like, she sleeps with her head all the way inbetween two pillows,
you'd think she'd suffocate. like, she'll be sitting on the couch, and she'll
be in the WEIRDEST, MOST UNCOMFORTABLE sleeping position you'll ever see --
the thing is, it's *TOTALLY* voluntary. like she'll have her head off the
side of the couch, her legs all the way up in the air, and a fucking 50 lb
television set caving in her stomache. ok, so maybe not the tv thing.
anybody ever wonder if dogs think? i don't think they do. i think they just
react to shit.. think about it. try to think of one instance of dogs thinking
.. i can't. i can come up with a reasonable explanation for everything a dog
does that doesn't involve thinking. and there are tons of things that prove
dogs can't think -- witness: running into large brick walls repeatedly.
seriously.. if you're on irc, or have acs to inet email, send me an email
telling me your reason for believing dogs can think, or can't. or /msg me on
irc [hooch or hooch_] and gimme your reason there.. i'm on irc quite a bit.
ok, i guess that just about raps up y0lk#13. later yawl.
%%%%%%%%%[iNDeX@!]%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
index of y0lk issues:
,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $. title `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 01 `$ the other white meat `$
$ 02 $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $
$. 13 ,$ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
issues 1-5, 7, and 9 by creed
issues 6, 8, and 11-13 by hooch
issue 10 by bEdlAM
note: if you have written an issue, you are a y0lk member, have a y0lk member
board, etc. woo.
