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y0lk-002
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y0lk #2: several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving.
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well... y0lk: the other white meat went nicely... people have been commenting
about it and stuff, more than i expected. kinda cool... here are a few quotes
that i captured when i was offering the oter white meat on irc...
<bootsie> hey stain... y0lk #1 was pretty cool
<stain> gee thanks
<bootsie> oh, by the way, can you make me a logo?
<stain> ugh.
<bongo> hey stain, y0lk #1 really rocked
<stain> wow, you think so? cool.
<homeslice> *bongo* hehe i think he's falling for it
<stain> UGH.
...so, as you can see, y0lk was a huge success with the elitos. i would have
captured more quotes, but when i offered it, a few people were colliding and
flashing me. they're just jealous.
i'm just fucking with you all. i'm not really that e-lame. i don't get
collided (much) ...cuz ya know... people look at me and think... "damn, that's
pretty sad... that dude needs help... maybe i shouldn't fuck with him."
so ya see, i'm cool... chicks dig me cuz i'm so pitiful, ya know? w0ol.
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well, i've got some more space to fill... can't release a 30 line textfile,
eh? see us true writers know all the tricks of the trade, dig? we know
that we have to bullsh... uh, we have to excite the reader... and... uhm...
well, stuff.
moving right along, killing time, killing space... what now. perhaps you'd
like to hear about my day? of course not... well, then skip this part.
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well, i woke up in my apartment with a friend on the couch next to me, at
about 9:00 or something like that... i took a shower, put on some music,
cleaned up... my friend went home.
so i went on my computer and dialed a bit, let's see... first i called some
boards... sushi bar z, succotash, the regency, and goOp i think... yeah...
after downloading a bunch of qwk packets and remembering that my copy of
sinister was all fucked up, finishing off my morning shit in elitesville, i
decided to dial out to my favorite mbbs board... just to see what was going
on... talked for about five minutes, got bored, dialed irc, got bored, and
left the computer.
are you seriously reading this? are you stoned off your mind? dude, just
scroll past this shit. you don't need to know about my life.
igh... so i kicked back and listened to some smashing pumpkins cd's... popped
in a new cd i found with some of my brother's shit... chilled... i guess there
was the smashing pumpkins, sonic youth, beck, then some bands i know you
haven't heard of... so forget it.
i talked on the phone a little, and decided i was going over to this chick's
house... a little scary at first, ya know... leaving the apt... strange. but
i got there, dinked around for about 5 hours or something, and left...
so i got home, bitched around on the computer some more, talked on the phone
and stuff... i went over to my neighbors' house and picked up twelve bucks for
a couple hours of gardening work... more money to waste. cool.
and here i am now, watching dazed and confused again, sitting here on my
laptop writing a y0lk issue. boredom...
i didn't have to use my AK. it was a good day.
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i don't know if i can keep doing y0lk all by myself... i mean, i've seen mags
like this going up to 100 issues, sometimes more... and me, i'm going pretty
slow. so please, someone, write something for y0lk. go ahead, write an
article, make a diz... and send it to me. i'll probably release it.
come on.. do it.
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god i love this movie... dazed and confused... i'm gonna pull a couple
valuable quotes outa this... read this shit, it's incredible.
"yeah, man, you didn't know that? this country was founded by people who
were into aliens, man... george washington was in a cult... and the cult was
into aliens, man... you didn't know that?"
"absolutely george toked, man... what are you kidding me? he grew fields of
that stuff, man... that's what i'm talking about man... fields!"
"he grew it all over the country, man... he had people growing it all over
the country, ya know? the whole country back then was getting high, let me
tell you man... cuz he knew... he was on to something. he knew that it would
be a good cash crop for the southern states, man... so he grew fields of it,
man... but you know what? behind every good man, there's a woman. and that
woman was martha washington, man... and every day george would come home,
she'd have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, when he came in the door,
man... she was a hip, hip lady, man..."
"and she was real cool, too... she'd harvest the crops, man... that's what
i'm talking about... she'd put in the bushels in stuff and sell it... y'know
cuz they have to make ends meet and stuff... i mean, did you ever look at a
dollar bill, man? there's some spooky stuff going on there on a dollar bill,
man... and it's green, too!"
see? get that movie... it's incredible. this is one scene in this fucking
movie... and they're right, i know it... george washington toked... more than
anybody else in history... a great man, he was.
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ok, a quick review before i close this shit... i introduced myself, gave some
lame quotes, told you about my day... and talked about the movie i'm watching
and shit... now i'm ready to close this up... i hope you enjoyed this
mindless reading experience. i sure did. ja. so write something for y0lk.
you know how we operate... pump out a little bullshit, draw a diz, and split.
i'm going to saint louis tomorrow, gonna stay there for about five days,
probably... i dunno. but i'm bringing my laptop, so expect some more y0lk.
as usual, if you wanna contact me, call 1-800-314-8885, box 842... or mail
me at stain@novasys.com
so... farewell. be well, eat good food, stay among your loved ones... i'm
gone... see you all on the other side. as for now, i'm just another k-rad
elite haxor, sitting around a campfire and grooving. l8r.
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editor's note: well, that was fun.
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index of y0lk issues:
,s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $. title `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 1 `$ the other white meat `$
$. 2 ,$ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
all issues by stain (so far)
