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y0lk-031
here is muh y0lk submission.
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mentos! the freedom giver!
as told by: minty fresh mercuri
boy, my last dto doodamabobber was just so fun, i've decided
to write another one! dont hit page down just yet, this might just
be funny.
ok, it's lunchtime at high school right? so, i make my
to the gas station and pick up a slice of pizza. but this gas
station is special, they have a bouncer, he makes sure no one
shoplifts by letting only 3.75 people in at once. and he takes
your recipt on the way out.
anyway, enough about fred. my mouth didnt feel so fresh,
so went up to the square (its a square, huh huh), and strutted
into the local newstand. i went to grab my usual skittles ($.45)
but something caught my eye, it was, mentos! ($.55)
they were beatiful. they looked so graceful just sitting
thier. i bought them. but this was no ordinary buy. i went up
to the register, smiled a toothy smile, held the mentos in my
thumb and index finger. and said ``mentos!'' mocking the voice
in the commercial, he could only smile and laugh thinking about that
fresh feeling i would soon receive.
i walked outside. frantically opening the chewey mint
candy's wrapper. and popped one in my mouth. ``damn! this are
good!'' i said with joyful abandon.
the street light was green and it was raining. i had a
mentos! i went nutty. i ran across the street flaunting my
mentos as if it were a pass to lawlessness. the people in the
car could only laugh at that fresh feeling we all get when we pop
a mentos! i like to think they let me get away with this stuff
because it reminds them of their childhood and oh, how they
enjoyed the mentos, oh so much. but the i say to myself ``wait,
their just mentos! you dont need reason!''
it was time to head back to school, i had to pass another
street. on the way i walked passed a lady with an umbrella, so
i said ``hi!'' and held the mentos! between my thumb and index
finger and said ``mentos! the freshmaker!'' (once again
cleverly mocking the tv voice)
so i had to cross another street. a snapple (made from
the best stuff on earth) truck passeed was coming. i saw the
``M A C K'' logo coming closer, i took a chance, ran, held my
mentos in that oh, so special way. and the driver laughed.
(no doubt questioning the freshness of his own breath)
i made it to school. modeling the mentos and it's handy
carrying case to the students coming out for c lunch. the only
thing they could yell was ``the freshmaker!'' and ``hey!
punk! gimmie one before i kick your ass!'' but they didnt,
because mentos allow everyone to just have fun. making my way
back to spanish class, i was tardy, the teacher said ``jesus,
(my spanish name) you are tardy.'' i didnt say a word, i just
held the mentos between my thumb and index finger. and she
laughed and said ``nevermind.'' the kid infront of me turned
around and said, ``jesus! you got mentos! jesus has mentos!''
everyone i saw in the halls, i just had to do it, i had
to show them my prize i bought for 55 cents that had brought me
so much hapiness. so i would mock the man in the commercial and
say ``mentos! the freshmaker!''. i went to pull one out, and a
senior i never saw before said ``hey! you got the freshmaker!''
i laughed and said ``of course!''.
in 6th hour some bastard offered me a starburst candy for
one mentos mint, i could laugh at him as he questioned the
freshness his mint gave him.
alas, i had finished the entire recomended serving size
(the whole damn thing ofcourse!). and i wistfully threw away
the wrapper that had contained the chewy mint candy.
but thiers always a tommorow! and i'm buying 2 fuckers
tommorow! i will be *so* damn fresh.
long live mentos! - jwapienn@pla-net.net
--(eleet)----------------------------------------------------------------------
wow, that was awesome. thanks mercuri for mailing me this submission--
it rools! -creed
--(index)----------------------------------------------------------------------
ahahahahahaha.. hilarious. i loved every second of it. who is this guy? why
isn't he posting on y0lknet? can he have my second child? - hooch
--(shephard!)------------------------------------------------------------------
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$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
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if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
