Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report
y0lk-005
Ä ° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ° Ä
y0lk: household uses for afghanistanian food
Ä ° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ° Ä
i've always held a special place for afghanistanian food in my heart. not many
know about it, but afghanistans have a special talent for multi-purpose edible
devices.
hi, i'm stain. you may remember me as that guy that calls teleconferences and
mumbles to himself, or asks for your voice number on #ice. i now present to
you my textual documentary of afghanistanian food.
"hello, al's afghan restaurant, may i help you?"
"hi, do you sell yarn?"
"yarn?"
"ja, do you sell yarn?"
"i'm sorry sir, we sell afghanistanian food here. no yarn."
"WHAT?! YOU SELL AFGHAN FOOD AND YOU NO SELL YARN?!! I KILL YOU!!! YOU NOT
KNOW HOW AFGHANISTANIAN FOOD GOES WITH YARN?!? THEY GO TOGETHER LIKE PEANUT
BUTTER AND POTATO! WHY YOU NO SELL YARN?!"
"I'm sorry, sir. No yarn here."
"MARGARITA, THESE RAT BASTIDS NO SELL YARN!!!"
(crazed immigrant gives phone to insane hispanic wife)
"tonto gringo estupido! no puedo ir a la fiesta! las pantalones son
demisiante largos, y nadie tiene tiempo para acortarlos! domingo, domingo,
domingo! el autobus es muy muy rapido! tu no tienes YARN?!"
<click>
Ä ° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ° Ä
whee. that was a phone conversation i had earlier this year. i think maybe i
had too many flintstones vitamins. those r0ol.
anyway, this is knowledge that i had to spread. i didn't even think there was
such a thing as afghanistanian food... look in your phonebook, you'll probably
find one or two afghanistanian restaurants... i bet this conversation would be
pretty cool recreated on a teleconference.
by the way, the guy called back five minutes later. here's the conversation we
had:
"excuse me, sir... someone just prank-called my restaurant."
"WHAT? IT BETTER NOT BE MY BOY, OR HE'S GETTING THE BEATING OF HIS LIFETIME!!"
(from across my hall) "AAH! NO!! DAD!!!" "DIE! DIE! DIE!"
<click>
Ä ° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ° Ä
h0ot.
if you're ever doing this on a conf, you better gimme the damn info. beats the
hell out of taco bell pranks.
why do cool radio stations play melissa etheridge and neil young? does anyone
really like them?
woo! i'm in da car right now... there's a forest fire... carnage! yay!
Ä ° ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ° Ä
vmb nonsense:
stop calling my vmb and hanging up, cidica... epidemic... i don't care how
hilarious my vmb message is... it's a pain in the ass, fooze!
someone called today... this message isn't really funny, just confusing:
"hey dave, this is... uhm, yeah... call me at (000)000-0000"
uhh... dude, i'd like to call you, but i'm not about to dial your house and say
"hello, is... uhm, yeah... there?"
that would be nutty.
well, the real purpose of this issue was just to mention that great phone
conversation with the afghan, but i didn't wanna make it too short... i think
i'll conclude now.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
editor's note: who cares what i think about myself anyway? do people even
read these editor's notes?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
index of y0lk issues:
,s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ issue $. title `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 1 `$ the other white meat `$
$ 2 $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$ 3 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $
$ 4 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $
$. 5 ,$ household uses for afghanistanian food ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
all issues by stain (so far)
