y0lk-004

eZine lover (@eZine)

Published in 

Y0LK

 · 5 years ago

  

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           yolk: a young man, an infant , a yak... all living in sin 
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yolk number four.  well, as a tribute to our four-issue anniversary, i learned 
how to say "yolk number four" in 8 languages.  isn't that great? 

well, on with the issue. 

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this paragraph is dedicated to epidemic, cuz he wants me to dedicate it to him 
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epidemic is on the phone with me.  he says "hey stain, can you dedicate a y0lk 
paragraph to me?  and i said "uh.. yeah." 

well just for you, i'm dedicating this paragraph.  here ya go. 

YOU SUCK!!!! WHAT KIND OF LAME DORK WOULD WANT TO BE MENTIONED IN SUCH A STUPID 
MAGAZINE?!?!?  GET A DAMN LIFE MAN, YOU TOTALLY SUCK!!! 

just between friends.  a tribute to epidemic. 

he doesn't really suck... i just didn't know what kind of paragraph he wanted 
dedicated to him.  bleh 

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                                  oops! 
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just a little editors note:  in y0lk #3, i wrote over 100 lines without 
reminding the readers how much we suck.  i also went on and wrote quite a few 
paragraphs with a purpose, about canada.  i'd just like to apologize, it won't 
happen again.  i fully regret straying from routine and acting like a real 
writer. 

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                        3y3 lUb j0o!@(#*(!@^*%!@(^*!#@^ 
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recently, the great mogel expressed some appoval of y0lk magazine.  i'd just 
like to thank mogel for his moral support, and if you could all turn off your 
monitors for a moment of silence here... may mogel regain his sanity soon. 

in tribute, i'd like to do a mogel-ish HPA paragraph.  actually i'm just doing 
it cuz i'm bored and i have some more space to fill. 

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                            how to blow up the world 
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HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD: 
author: stain        ingredients: several nuclear bombs.  add assorted 
date: 08/22/95                    hallucinogens for mental stability. 
time: 2:45am EST 

and now.... HOW TO BLOW UP THE WORLD. 

instructions: please don't blow up the world... there are a lot of people out 
              there who probably want to live. 

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top 5000 reasons not to overestimate how long you can write countdown lists 
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5000: i don't really think i need to explain this. 
4999: if you don't understand this joke, look at the header again, read #5000 
      again, and think a little 
4998: repeat if necessary. 
4997: if you still don't get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy 
      yourself. 
4996: if you do get the joke, purchase a deadly weapon and destroy yourself. 

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                           ace of base lyrics 
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wE^aRE^aN^eLITE^tEXT^fILE^gR0OP^cUZ^wE^rELEASE^eLITE^lYRICS^fROM^aSS^oF^bASS! 

we are from sweden 
we acted like we were techno gods 
because we had a number one record, yeah, 
now everyone hates us 
pop rock lives on 

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                               let's review 
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this issue, we humiliated epidemic, apologized for the last issue, paid tribute 
to mogel, instructed anarchists on destroying the world, gave our readers a 
direct order of suicide, and glorified a crappy swedish pop band.  i think i 
deserve a nice pat on the back with a salami. 

thank you. 

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editor's note:  i really should stop editing myself. 
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index of y0lk issues: 

,s$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s. 
$ issue $.                       title                                     `$ 
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ 
$'  1  `$ the other white meat                                             `$ 
$   2   $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $ 
$   3   $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars.                     $ 
$.  4  ,$ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin                $ 
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$' 

all issues by stain (so far)