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y0lk-043
--(y0lk)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk #43: abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk!
--(y0lk)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
yay. well, a lot has happened since the last issue i wrote, whenever
that was. not necessarily with y0lk, but with me... creed. i've learned a lot
about writing, about zines, and about myself (how deep!) ...and i'm very
thankful that i learned it.
the basis of all that i learned was that everything i've been doing is
wrong. y0lk has its own little format, its own style, and there are ups and
downs to it. basically what i've been done for 40+ issues is tell you about
my life in a very direct and uninteresting way. and progressively i've
realized that this just isn't enough, at least not for me.
so i've moved on a little. i've been playing and poking around with
fiction, which has come to some avail... there's been a lot of positive
feedback about my writing lately, and i thank you all for giving it. i've
learned that i can't give you these boring monologues 100% of the time...
so on with it. let's have some entertainment. some REAL material.
this "i've learned" crap is making me sick. how pre-school.
--(boo)------------------------------------------------------------------------
now that i'm releasing this, i realize that it might be a little weak for y0lk.
for most people it's going to be quite difficult to read, because the language
is intentionally altered... well, you don't have to read this. honestly, i
wrote it for myself. playing with a mock-bible format. so read, or don't
read. no matter what you do, i love you just the way you are.
--(y0lk 1:1)-------------------------------------------------------------------
Creed, protector of the name of Mogel and all his glory;
The word of Mog first came to him while reading the scripture,
HOE #90, final words of the First Testament of Mogel.
Vowed to protect the legacy and grace of our Lord,
Sworn to guide zinekind and its foolishness towards the righteous of paths,
Toward the Lord's favor and furthermore toward The Kingdom of Mogel.
The most holy and righteous words to follow have emerged from his breast;
And shall be followed by our people, lest ye be thrown
To famine and holocaust, banishment from our channels, and eternally thrown
From the favor of our great Lord Mogel.
"Beware, ye who follow Mogel, for i have seen your coming fates!
Our Lord is angered at your foolishness and empty wills.
Many times, we have tried to earn his favor, and we have tried falsely!
For although the great Mogel has sculpted our kind in his image,
He is displeased with where our feeble minds have taken us.
In his kingdom of #zines, we try desperately to earn his love, to no avail!
For we attempt to gain his favor by acting as he, and our acts go unfavored.
Cries of "eye phear!" and "ewe sux0rz!" wail out in our channel,
And they do not please him! Alas, they PAIN him!
Mogel's teachings of our free will have slipped by in our minds;
And we bypass his teachings as we try not to follow his lead,
But mock and imitate our Lord instead!"
"I have not been in this realm as long as some, i must admit;
My visions have obviously, undoubtedly come to others in similar forms.
And yet, these visions are ignored.
The word of the Lord came to me thus: 'phear me!'
And we let him now, graciously, how we phear him so!
But newcomers doth commonly blashpeme, crying 'phear me!' in their idiocy.
They should not call phear to themselves, knowing so little of Mogel;
The origin of that phrase.
There is one who is to be pheared, and one alone.
The words which have emerged from him shall not be mocked!
Lest ye be stricken with plague and bankicked without mercy."
--(y0lk)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
so that's my material for this issue. and i'm going to stop it right
here. the 100-line standard i had set for myself was so shallow... and i've
decided not to be shallow anymore.
--(y0w)------------------------------------------------------------------------
just to let you all know, i'm aware that i've been preachy and
self-glorifying with all that i've been saying about "the new creed" ...and
i'm sorry about it. i'm 100% against it... but i'm still giddy from all this
boredom.
YAH00.
--(index)----------------------------------------------------------------------
.d&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&b.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan $ creed $
$ 34 $ fuck you - a note to all y'all on #zines $ hooch $
$ 35 $ apples, oranges, and pears $ phorce $
$ 36 $ the little cultist that couldn't $ creed $
$ 37 $ careening through hyperspace at a slug-like rate $ creed $
$ 38 $ snowday $ phorce $
$ 39 $ creed is g0d $ creed $
$ 40 $ big hurt is ruler of the earth $ bighurt $
$ 41 $ dead people, nasty thoughts, and colored glue $ bighurt $
$ 42 $ bbs softwares/internet $ hooch $
$ 43 $ abandon thy gods! from yonder cometh y0lk! $ creed $
"T$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$T"
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
