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y0lk-003
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-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- y0lk #3: nuclear weapons, interplanetary conflict, op wars
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk! the magazine that just keeps on going, despite the reputation i'm
building for myself!
yes, after a long period of starvation, a few nights in jail, and another teen
pregnancy, y0lk has returned... you see, i couldn't stand all those people
saying "stain, where did y0lk go? we really miss it!" ...so i had to bring it
back. now the only question you have to ask yourself is: "should i be laughingat these rogaine commercials? maybe these guys could help me with my body-hair
problem..."
yep... so, a new era of y0lk begins with issue number THREE!)(#*%(!#&% we're
really rocking now...
one thing i keep telling myself is that i need to really write these things...
i can't just be mindlessly filling them with short little meaningless
paragraphs! i need a beginning, a middle, and an end!
...and so i give you: the beginning, the middle, the end.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a fine example in structured literature
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
jane went to the store to purchase a candy bar. she looked around for about 5
minutes and saw what she wanted. she paid the clerk. she left the store.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- thank you, god bless you, and ppbbbbthtltpth!#(%&!%!%
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
bewm!@#%&^* william shakespeare can suck my ass. i r0ol.
and now, on with the hype, boredom, and more short little meaningless
paragraphs. only now, they're high-ascii, euro-style!
×Uü, ×Uü, ×Uü. B³ä Å׳ BU³³×³Å.
that took me about five minutes.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a tribute to hootie and the blowfish
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
iiiii ammmm theeee MIIIGHHHTTYYY BEEEAAACCHHH HOOUUSSSEEE TIIIKIII GOODDD!!)#(%#tonight on mtv: a bunch of cheesy shows, followed by the acclaimed yO! mTV rAPS!and dreamtime featuring hootie and the blowfish and michael jackson!
all hail me.
i'm wondering right now why every time i write one of these i find myself
looking at the line-counter and wondering how much longer i'll have to write.
this illustrates my great talent for writing and awareness during the piece.
gaul.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------damn hosers, always getting drunk on our beer and complaining about hockey, eh?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"luke, i'm your father! come into the dark side, you knob!"
"no way, you hoser!"
why is canada so damn cool? how did a cold country next to america become so
damn cool?
yes, canada is by far the coolest country in the world... boasting such coolnesswith the kids in the hall, cool bacon, plenty of beer, and eerie, too...
how did this happen?
i have the answer: they're all white! the black/white contrast in that countryis hilarious! all those whities have gone so nutty with the lack of culture, sothey've turned to hockey, beer, and damn good comedy! so my proposal is this:
make america cool! hold a big rap-woodstock in mexico, and in the second day ofthe festival, declare war and close the borders! then with all those crazy
rappers out of the country, we merge with canada and become cool! it all seems
so simple!
to become part of this operation, send a self-addressed stamped envelope to
stain
666 doodle road
newport beach, florida, 00982
or... call our hotline at: 1-800-33-R0OLS. overthrow our continent in
apartheid! it'll be fun!#%)*!#%)*
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- help!@#
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
we need moral support! stain can be reached thru his vmb: 1-800-314-8885, box
stain can be reached thru his vmb: 1-800-314-8885, box 842....
or...
stain@novasys.com
so please leave comments or maybe write something for y0lk, eh?
thank you, god bless you, and BUUUUURRPPP(!@$#*(*%
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- editor's comment
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
it sickens me to see what i write sometimes. this time i've gone too far. yay!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------y0lk)#!*%)!#*%()!@(#)%(!)#(%!*@#%(*!#%*()!@(#%)*!#)%(@)#!(%)!(#%)(!)#(%)!(#%)!(#--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
index of y0lk issues:
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$ issue $. title `$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$' 1 `$ the other white meat `$
$ 2 $ several k-rad elite haxors sitting around a campfire and grooving $
$. 3 ,$ nuclear weapons, interplanetary conflict, op wars. ,$
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
all issues by stain (so far)
