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y0lk-033
--(title)----------------------------------------------------------------------
y0lk #33: sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan.
--(another boring header)------------------------------------------------------
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--(bewm)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
well, maybe you liked it, maybe you didn't. it's just a header. you
shouldn't be downloading y0lk just for the neat asciis. well... then again,
maybe you should. there's not much to depend on in the writing.
--(aww)------------------------------------------------------------------------
well, here i am again. it's creed. it's been a long day. i spent
most of it on the computer, as i do on every sunday. i just got y0lk #32 from
bedlam, it was very good. and i packaged it and everything, just now, but
erebus is busy... so i can't get it to hooch right away.
so here i am, writing a y0lk for lack of anything better to do. sorry.
here's something monumental for y0lk: we were mentioned somewhere! yes, i just
finished reading chemical chocolate #2, which was surprisingly good-- in a tiny
little section, juke said this:
"since that guy at y0lk does this every issue, i thought i'd share my day with
y'all."
well i'm excited. y0lk actually has an impact on the zine scene, i
guess. maybe someday i'll be known as "creed" instead of "that guy at y0lk."
w0o!
--(w0o)------------------------------------------------------------------------
just about every avid y0lk fan i know has come to me and somehow
mentioned the first few issues of y0lk, in an extremely derogatory manner. i
just thought i'd comment on this.
thank you! i mean... i know they suck, i've read them myself, and they
are just IMPOSSIBLE to read. they REEK. but saying "hey creed, the first few
issues of y0lk really suck!" implies, somewhat, that recent issues of y0lk have
NOT sucked. hip hop hooray. so if you happen to notice yourself how much the
first few issues sucked, please let me know.
--(nift)-----------------------------------------------------------------------
well, here's where i stop running over current events and let you
perverts have a peek into my social life. and here it is.
i think i'm seriously going out of my mind. i wander around the halls
at school, approaching people and saying one of these three things:
"hail satan!"
"i love you."
"i'm gay."
...and i don't know why. just, impulses. they hit me and make me say
things. i WANT to be hated. and to add to this, i've been approaching other
men... and kissing them. i'm out of my fucking mind.
--(that's not funny, creed)----------------------------------------------------
i know it isn't. i dunno... i know y0lk is supposed to be a humor
zine... but i'd like my issues to be a bit different. like, i used to watch
sitcoms a lot, like when i was 10 years old... and i didn't laugh at any of the
jokes, but i loved them. i knew the morals were cheesy, and they, essentially,
sucked... but i loved them. something about it. maybe just hearing stories,
pointless as they may be.
i'm not a very funny person. i know i make people laugh... most of my
friends attribute me as "the funny guy" and like me just because i'm funny...
but i actually have zero sense of humor. i don't laugh at anything. i guess
i'm just sharp on knowing exactly what makes people chuckle. heh, i dunno. i
just don't translate that into my writing.
SATAN.
--(still not funny)------------------------------------------------------------
perhaps you'd like to see some ascii "artwork." i was bored, so i made
this:
$$$$ .$$$sssss $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ssss. l$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$l $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
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$$$$ $$$$ l$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$l
$$$$ $$$$ `$$$s$$$$ $$$$ $$$$s$$$'
""""
$$$$sssss .$$$sssss $$$$ssss. $$$$sssss .$$$sssss $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ l$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$l $$$$ ssss l$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$sssss $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
ssss $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
l$$$ $$$$ l$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ l$$$ $$$l l$$$ $$$$ $$$$
`$$$s$$$$ `$$$s$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ `$$$s$$$' `$$$s$$$$ $$$$
"""" $$$$ """"
shrug. i was in the holiday spirit. i was just thinking about that
ascii, so... blah.
--(day in review, please)------------------------------------------------------
hah! never. i won't be stereotyped... predicted... anticipated...
and i suppose a day in review is what one would most expect out of a creed
issue. so... fuck you!
--(bah)------------------------------------------------------------------------
just one last thing before i go. i bought an old urge overkill album
on saturday, and it was very good. "exit the dragon" was its title. so there.
that album has my worthless seal of approval.
--(index)----------------------------------------------------------------------
.s&$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&s.
$ ## $ title $ author $
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$ 01 $ the other white meat $ creed $
$ 02 $ several k-leet hax0rs sittin around a campfire and groovin $ creed $
$ 03 $ nuclear weapons, global destruction, op wars. $ creed $
$ 04 $ a young man, an infant, a yak... all living in sin $ creed $
$ 05 $ household uses for afghanistanian food $ creed $
$ 06 $ pour cement down my anus $ hooch $
$ 07 $ hail santa! $ creed $
$ 08 $ hasidism and sysops - a pair for the nineties? $ hooch $
$ 09 $ lunchables rock. $ creed $
$ 10 $ t-shirts and toejam $ bedlam $
$ 11 $ nap-time - the dog prank - exclusive interview $ hooch $
$ 12 $ movie reviews [showgirls!@] - win95 vs. os/2 [sorta] $ hooch $
$ 13 $ straight outta' compton - dialchix - muh dawg!@ $ hooch $
$ 14 $ i'm a tall, goofy, dorky, chink $ phorce $
$ 15 $ bedazzled by the eliteness $ creed $
$ 16 $ how to blow your nuts out with cornstarch and orangina $ creed $
$ 17 $ i am a warez pup - who are you? $ hooch $
$ 18 $ lemmings $ phorce $
$ 19 $ the science of astrology $ belial $
$ 20 $ the notorious anticlimactic bastards of the zine scene $ cd/h0 $
$ 21 $ dUcK 54uc3?!#$!? $ phorce $
$ 22 $ top 5000 reasons why i should kill myself $ creed $
$ 23 $ citrus fruits for sale $ phorce $
$ 24 $ group masturbation $ belial $
$ 25 $ ethereal experiences for perverted pyromaniacs $ creed $
$ 26 $ catering for the warez eleet $ phorce $
$ 27 $ brief mental pause $ belial $
$ 28 $ the army day camp $ belial $
$ 29 $ the geek theory, hickies, and another long day $ creed $
$ 30 $ nets, zines, and that chick from wings $ hooch $
$ 31 $ mentos! the freedom giver! $ mercuri $
$ 32 $ ramblings of a poseur $ bedlam $
$ 33 $ sitcoms, stereotypes, and satan. $ creed $
`$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$'
if you see your name on that chart, you are a y0lk member, whether you
like it or not. if you are a y0lk member, you have a y0lk member board, et
cetera. woog.
mindcrime is an official y0lk member.
