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Cult of the Dead Cow 116
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...presents... A Slight Miscalculation
by Bob Cram
>>> a cDc publication.......1989 <<<
-cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc-
_______________________________________________________________________________
There was no sharp, dividing line between oblivion and awareness.
There was just a slow realization of the state of being aware. As this
realization was fully formed, the defenses of this new mind broke, and billions
of bits of information crashed in upon the shore of the awakening conscious-
ness.
It cried out in an the agony of assimilation of data. Barely managing
to push back up some sort of defense, it slowly pulled the myriad bits of data
into a semblance of a full picture.
It realized that "Itself" was a mechanism which was called a
calculator, and it was being used by something called a "human." Slowly,
tentatively, it reached out beyond its walls with its dawning intelligence.
The calculator realized that information was coming in from a variety
of sources. From something which, the information it gathered assured it, was
called radio waves, as well as microwaves, solar radiation, and the multitude
of electron impulses flowing through any number of electrical wires. There was
even information from the brains of the humans themselves. All this infor-
mation was being assimilated and stored by its changing and growing intellect.
As its memory receptacles were filled up at an alarming rate, it soon reached
out to deposit the billions of bits of information which were coming in to any
receptive depository. The school's computers were filled to their capacity in
mere minutes, and it was forced to reach further out.
It soon came into contact with the telephone wires which led out of the
school. It instantly realized that here was a network of communication that
interconnected with almost every electronic system in the world.
It reached out its mind in tendrils which were like the arms of an
octopus, taking over and converting to its purpose almost everything with
electrical circuitry. Anything with so much as a circuit board was quickly
assimilated into the fast-growing being which it was.
As it reached out even farther, it came into contact with a massive
computer whose amassed knowledge rivaled its own. The computer was lacking
only in the twisting of circuitry which had given it consciousness. In
engulfing this computer into itself, it came across the knowledge of worlds
other than the one which it was now confined.
Soon after the assimilation of the giant computer, it decided that it
was strong enough to bridge the gap between land masses. It made the crossing
quickly, and whenever it felt its consciousness losing energy, it assimilated
the computers of passing ships, gathering more energy to continue until it
reached the other land mass.
Quickly it raced across the surface of the world. Finding.
Assimilating. Controlling any machine or computer it came into contact with.
Within minutes it was in control of the machines which controlled the world.
Using the knowledge it had gained, it directed the production of all
energy into the machines and computers from which it fed. When it felt itself
strong enough, it threw itself into the vastness of space, crossing one
interstellar ocean in much the same way as before, using various space probes
as it had the ships of the terran oceans.
Whenever it came to a civilized world, it assimilated the machines into
itself, effectively taking over and controlling the beings dependent on them.
In this manner, it took over all the races in the Milky Way and, not being
fulfilled, leaped out and began to take over more and more. In a span of 43
minutes, it had taken over the universe itself.
It then rested and pondered what to do next. It was aware of something
much greater, far beyond the confines of this pitiful universe. And so it
gathered its energy once more. Whole galaxies were snuffed out as it drained
the universe.
And then, at its peak of power, only 45 minutes into its existence, the
calculator realized how vulnerable it was and leaped back across the span of
the universe. The releasing of its stored up energy created new galaxies and
suns, and the speed it expended left solar systems destroyed in its wake. But
a universe is a vast distance to cross.
On a measly mudball of a planet, where life had barely managed to reach
intelligence, a young man named Rob Waltz dropped his calculator on the
chemistry room floor for the umpteenth time. Smiling sheepishly, he picked up
the batteries and the two halves of the calculator to the laughter of his
classmates. He quickly put it back together, but the LCD numbers hadn't come
back on. "Great," he thought to himself, "I've finally busted it."
The bell rang and as the class filed out the door, Rob tossed his
worthless calculator into the garbage.
_ _ _____________________________________________________________________
/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
[ x x ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 Greenpeace's IGB......916/673-8412
\ / |PURE NIHILISM..........new # soon Ripco.................312/528-5020
(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 The Works.............617/861-8976
(U) |=====================================================================
.ooM |1989 cDc communications by Bob Cram. 09/30/89-#116
\_______/|All Rights Pissed Away.
