Cult of the Dead Cow 094

Published in

· 5 years ago

  

 
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       [ x x ]                 cDc communications                 [ x x ] 
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                            Fighting - The Clean Way! 

             a cheesy parody of the Neon Knight's "Fighting Dirty" 

                                 by  The Pusher 

                      >>> A CULT Publication......1988 <<< 
                        -cDc- CULT OF THE DEAD COW -cDc- 
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     So, you're talking with some friends about yesterday's lacrosse game and 
about how you're getting tickets to the Tiffany concert, when some geek wearing 
a "Mettelica" shirt bumps into you.  What should you do? 

1. The first thing you should do is say "Watch it, geek." 

2. If he says something back, say "Are you mouthing off to me, faggot?" 

3. Then push him.  When he pushes back, say, "You and me, man.  You're dead. 
   I'm gonna kill you, motherfucker, you're so dead.  After school.  Me and 
   you.  I'm gonna kick your fucking ass.  You're dead." 

4. When he walks away tell all your friends how you're gonna kick his ass. 

 
                                - After school - 

 
5. Get to the meeting spot first, and say, "Come on, loser.  I'm gonna kill 
   you.  You're scared of me." 

6. When he gets there, say, "Let's do it.  Put up your dukes." 

 
           Warning!  Warning!  Warning!  Warning!  Warning!  Warning! 

 
7. Never ever, use any hard objects.  'Cause that's not... Fighting-The Clean 
   Way! 

8. If you knock him down, wait for him to get up.  'Cause that's also... 
   Fighting-The Clean Way! 

9. If he knocks you down, make sure your friends don't jump in.  'Cause once 
   again, that's... Fighting-The Clean Way! 

10. If you win, say, "You fucking wuss, if you mess with me again, I'll kill 
    you." 

11. If you lose, say, "You got lucky, you better stay home or I'll kill you!" 

 
     So, now you know how to... Fight-The Jock Way! 
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 Behavior Modification.....806/793-9462  The Dead Zone.............214/522-5321 
 Demon Roach Underground...806/794-4362  Dragonfire Private........609/424-2606 
 Question Authority........715/341-6516  Pure Nihilism.............517/337-7319 
 Tequila Willy's...........209/526-3194  The Metal AE..............201/879-6668 
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 (c)1988  cDc communications  by The Pusher                         12/30/88-94 
 All Rights Worth Shit