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Chico s Groove 1999 01 28
. . . : ; C h i c o ' s G r o o v e ; : . . .
. . . : ;
. . . : ; eninytnewt - january 28 1999
. . . : ;
. . . : ; http://www.disobey.com/
. . . : ; The "SNOW" Notice
We're finally getting snow up here in BumpkinVille which is good. Not
just any old snow, but good ol' hardcore, going trip ya and make ya look
like a fool snow. Yeah. Juneau the capital of Alaska?
. . . : ; The "WONS" Notice
Yeah, well, I don't actually have anything to say here because I just
wanted to make some stupid wordplay with snow backwards. Hell, I haven't
played enough video games to win any of them yet, and stupid jokes about
counting are unwarranted and just plain unfunny. Hmmf.
. . . : ; ANNOUNCEMENTS and tubular bells iii or iv...
NEW DEVIL SHAT (#FortyFive): With a desperate attempt to stay within the
"5 minute read time", Morbus gives a short little piece detailing
attention spans and his wishes for a comprehension time of 15 seconds,
and then shoves in your face an article on how to avoid jury duty.
(Strangely enough, these ARE related, since you must have incredible
patience and a long attention span to sit through any boring court
case).
DNN MOVES TO: Level Four... with a revised design, more of a standard
layout, and hopefully easier maintenance. Read all about DNN for the
past couple of months as well as prepare yourself for the first Visual
DNN - coming soon...
WE'VE NOW BEEN EVERYWHERE: With book deals in the discussion for
NetSlaves, a mention of Disobey in the February issue of Playboy, as
well as mentions at PC Week, Slashdot (again), Wired (again), and about
20 different foreign magazines, minor listings, and just "damn, this
site is cool", we've beat our high: it used to be almost 120,000 hits a
week, yet we can now claim 260,000 a week. Yeah, I think people like it.
HELL YEAH: Disobey won its second "Cruel Site of the Day" award for
NetSlaves. If you remember, our first award was for the sheep movie in
the Detergent section. You might want to go check that out, and then
refresh your memory about NetSlaves (hell, there's a new issue up there,
so you won't get bored).
NEW NETSLAVES: We all know by now about K, our Fry Cook trying to make
the big times. Now, with Part II well underway, we could only wonder why
YOU haven't read it yet. Filled with more "Screams from our Readers" and
the "NetSlaves Combat Manual", issue 4 brings more than you could
expect.
NEW EMAIL: Yeah, Devil Shat got some more email added to it: four for
Devil Shat Forty Four, and one for the generic Judgments section. I'd
admonish you to go check them out, but I'm in a hurry to get this done
before I lose the idea that just popped into my head.
. . . : ; EVERYTHING else and the exorcist should never be remade...
I'M IN DEMAND: This is a pathetic retelling of a loser's day of
highlight. So I'm working at my ISP, calmly getting pissed off at this
CGI script which doesn't seem to want to take over the world like I
programmed it too, and the phone rings. It's my good friend from the
computer store about a mile and a half from my house. Seems they need a
web designer, badly, and they thought of me. They thought of me. I don't
know about you, but that just kicks ass.
WELL.... FINISH!: So, I'm not leaving the ISP, because I love it there,
and I'm basically getting paid to learn Perl, C, Unix, and how to
administer the whole place (which is always good to get into when you're
trying to take over the world). I might be working part time doing the
web development at this computer store, depending on if they call me
back. And hell no, I'm not waiting by the phone. Webdev gets kinda old
after a while, especially when it's for clueless business owners who
don't even know what the web is.
SHE WON'T BE MISSED: Sent out the new issue of Devil Shat, and as is
typical, there were a couple of bounces from AOL. One of them was NOT
FOUND, usually meaning that the person isn't using AOL anymore. Example:
----- Transcript of session follows -----
... while talking to air-yc03.mail.aol.com.:
>>> RCPT To:<Suicdlpoet@aol.com>
<<< 550 MAILBOX NOT FOUND
550 <Suicdlpoet@aol.com>... User unknown
I can only say that someone with the name of "Suicidal Poet" will not be
missed. Hell, I should set up some sort of filter so that anyone who
comes in with the names of "Death", "Mourn", "Suicide", or "I'mK-RAD"
gets sent back a "Devil Shat Does Not Exist" error. Well, wait. Hold
on... "Mourn" is kinda a cool name... Hmm...
SOME RANDOM EMAIL I RECEIVED:
Return-Path: seagull47@grabmail.com
To: Mike@Public.com
Subject: Mike?
Mike, Is this you?
This is Jimmy, your cousin.
Call or email me immediately.
Found a company who will build, and
host our site for FREE.
Also give us FREE Internet Access.
Call me today.
If this is not you Mike
I'm sorry if you received
this by mistake.
It's obviously a spam, but it's pretty funny, if you ask me. Which you
didn't. Damn. Ah twell. If people stopped leeching my email address off
of different places, you wouldn't have to suffer through this crap. So,
I'm not at fault, k?
STUPID JOKE, BUT FUNNY: A guy is mowing his lawn when he sees an odd
funeral procession go by - a hearse followed by a man walking a dog,
followed by about 100 men walking single file. The guy approaches the
man with the dog and asks: "Who's in the hearse?" "That's my
mother-in-law," the man says. "This dog killed her." The guy whistles.
"Wow. Can I borrow your dog?" "Get in line."
. . . : ; BLAHBLAHS OF THE WEEK: ( january 15th - january 28th )
[Man-I-Smell-Bad-of-the-Week]-= Uh...
---Just sitting here in my chair, trying to bust a new issue of
---Chico's Groove out, cos it's near time (and I have nothing done)
---when I take a whiff and ... wait... what the HELL am I telling
---you this for?
[Tax-Time-of-the-Week]-= Happens Once A Year
---Is it necessary that I bore you with intrepid thoughts about
---how I have to do my tax return now? Yeah, I didn't think so
---either.
[Why-No?-of-the-Week]-= Idea Fever
---If you were my dream reader, you'd be concerned why there isn't
---a lot of Blah's this week - well, the main reason is that I just
---got this great idea for the new section coming on October 31st,
---1999, and I want to go work on it. I just have to finish up this
---zine and the new Devil Shat. Argh.
. . . : ; The Issue Could Have Been A Movie Star
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