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Cult of the Dead Cow 122
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| ___________ _/_/ | | \ \ _/_/ ___________ |
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| | (A commercial artist would| |/ / (Please notice how the header | |
| | charge a buncha money | | / is perfectly centered and | |
| | for these 'too cool' | / aesthetically pleasing.) | |
| | letters, boy.) |_/ | |
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| | c o m m u n i c a t i o n s | |
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...gifts... David and Goliath: Goliath's Point of View
(a thoroughly worthless tale)
Telewritten by Leper Messiah and Swamp Rat
on The Dead Zone BBS... just to PROVE how stupid
we are. Unedited to preserve the full impact.
Damn right.
>>> a cDq publication.......1989 <<<
-cDq- CULT OF THE DEAD Q-TIP -cDq-
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LM: THE ROck doctor..sounds great...........d00wd......hows this for
storys......"David and Goliath: Goliaths point of view"......."There he was,
that shit-fuck David, jew-bastage from hell.......andhe was going to kill
me".....dot dot dot.
SR: dot dot dot. spiffy. yeah, so like i tried to stomp on him, but he hit me
withthis fucking rock on teh head, and i passed out. i woek up in bangladesh,
id dunno how.
LM: And that pissed me off.........so.....so........I destroyed Atlantios.
SR: yeah, and sunk along with teh city..and landed in mud and sunk deeply and
was preserved for thousands of years...until the bottled city of sitnalta,
ivnefsed atlnatis, was discoverd..and Aquaman came and foudn me deep within the
mud and fossils and dgu me out..i promptly ate him and his stupid fish, and
went up to ravage the surface world..
LM: But then I was offered a movie contract with a horror film director......
SR: but they got upset 'cause i kept getting confused and like hitting the
people and splttering 'em all over..liek teh actors, ya know..so they'se dead,
and diredctor yelled, and I got upset, and went off to get drunk..and i became
an alcoholic, and got written up in the tabloids 'cause i had an affair with
elizabeth taylor, and tehn i was so wiped out i had to go the betty ford
rehabilitation center wheer i screamed ina room and then..
LM: Thisis a definite text file...just get that buffer out...edit..and.....
wah-lah...best seller.........shlong me.
SR: and then waht...yeah..agreed, tfile material...and um...i went on to
co-star on children's tv special with Bil Cosby and Mr. T teaching kids to say
no to drugs and ...um...obesity.
LM: But then...........Sesame Street hired me to be the new sNuffaluffuhguss,
and they had a new series.....
SR: whree I was...tadah..."SUNFFALGFAGUS..the AVENGER!" and I chased pimps and
drug gang guys and like i um...
LM: slowly became the hero of the modern nation of America. Children and
parents alike hailed me as their savioiur, and sure enough, the Republican
Party nominated me to be president...
SR: But whatsisname...the guy who shot reagan?
LM: Hinkley...he lived a block over fromme.
SR: neat. John hinkley Jr., the only sane person left,tired to assasinate
me..adn lying in bed with a bullet in my prostrate, the people realized they
didn't want a big sily person in a red snufflefagus suit as their president, so
i was impeached, and now i'm a street person eating old grapes.
LM: But unfortunately, two of these grapers were poisonous, and I got in Time
magazine with a bunch of catchy titles like "The Grapes of ...DEATH".....and
once again, prostrategland-less and snufelufegass suitless, i became a hero of
society, saving them from the perils of old grapes"
SR: rapes from ...the plce with cyanide grapes..?
LM: Of course, they threw them out....and.....goliath picked em up.
SR: nono...they were grapes tha the found...and he was the first to die, and in
doing so, saved everyone from immenent death.
LM: But being a Bible character, he is immortal....
SR: well, in words..but i mean, like he's nota diety..just a hero..higher than
garfield though.
LM: But definetly not as high as Heathcliff..
SR: no way. so he's dead. The End?
LM: damn, i suppose so........
SR: Cool. lemme go buffer.
antlers!
_ /_ _____________________________________________________________________
/((___))\|The Convent..........619/475-6187 The Dead Zone.........214/522-5321
[ o o ] |Demon Roach Undrgrnd.806/794-4362 Greenpeace's IGB......916/673-8412
\ . / |PURE NIHILISM..........new # soon Ripco.................312/528-5020
(' ') |Tequila Willy's GSC..209/526-3194 Mistress Hildegarde...718/520-0085
(U) |=====================================================================
.ooF |(c)1989 cDc communications by LM & SR. 09/30/89-#122
\_______/|All Rights Left.
