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Impulse Reality 256
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.d""b. impulse reality press no. 256 - the future has come!
[-- $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------------------ --]
$$ $$ "true life - i'm a criminal!"
$$ $$ written by linear
$$ $$ released 8/01/04
[-- $$ $$ ------ ------------------------------------------------------ --]
warning - this is from a message board. i posted it not too long after the
incident. it is pretty long and pointless and full of grammer errors and
typos and misspellings -- read at your own risk and only if you're bored
enough to read a long pointless story
last night i got ticketed for being at a park past "park curfew." i dunno if
this is just my state or towns around here, but after a certiain time (varies
by park, usually 11:00), there's a park curfew in effect, and, as opposed to
standard curfew for minors, no matter how old you are, you can not break park
curfew.
last night me and my friend (Cyrene) were hanging out at a park at about 2 in
the morining or there-abouts, and a cop car pulled up and hit a spotlight on me.
I was talking to Cyrene while she was still in the passenger seat of my car,
and i was standing outside the car. I am asked to walk over to the cop car. First,
the cop accuses me of urinating on my own car (??) because of a some wet spot he
saw by my wheel (we later concluded that it was the shadow of my wheel, not a wet
spot), then he kept asking me how much i had had to drink (i didn't drink anything,
was not on any drugs, and was speaking and acting very coherently). He asks for my
ID. When i open my wallet, my bank cards fall out, and the cop sternly asks if
they're actually mine, and compares the name with the name on my ID. He asks me how
far i made it through school, I, being confused as to why he would ask that, say
"what?" - he asks again, I say I graduated high school, and am debating whether or
not to go back to college - his reply is "then can't you read the sign that says the
park closes at 11:00?" -- real clever guy, here. He then realizes there's someone
else in the car and asks me for her name, and tells me to sit on a curb while he
talks to her.
He asks cyrene out of the car, and asks her how much I had to drink (but for
some reason doesn't ask her if she's been drinking). he asks her repeatedly if she's
my girlfriend like he doesn't believe her that she's not (as if it has anything to
do with the situation) and some other questions about what we're doing.
About this time another cop car pulls up (at this point, there's two cop cars, and a
total of three cops, one being the sergent who i had been talking to, one that never
gets out of the passenger seat, and the third newer cop that just pulled up), because
somehow this is a situation that requires more than one patrol car. The cop that gets
out of the new car is a cop who has seen me before, and ticketed me a few months ago
for rolling through a stop sign (the infamous california roll). On a side note, he
told me that i failed to bring "all four wheels to a complete stop" -- I admit that I
didn't come to a full stop, but can someone explain to me how one wheel or two wheels
or three wheels can come to a stop on a car but not the other wheels??
Anyway, I guess he has something to prove to his sergent, as he has to be even more
of a dick than the sergent who had been talking to us. He goes over the booze/drug
questions, asks cyrene if we were having "relationship problems" (so apparently he's
also a marriage counseller now) and repeatedly asks her if she's my girlfriend (at
this point i have come to the conclusion that girls can not have an identity of
their own, and if they're with a boy, they MUST be his girlfriend).
The newer cop then quietly says something to the sgt, and he goes back to his car
and puts on some gloves. he comes back and asks me if i have anything in my car he
should know about. I answer honestly - no (and i really didn't have anything
incriminating in my car -- no booze, drugs, weapons, hostages). he then asks if I
mind if he takes a look. I tell him yes, I mind. I tell him I don't consent to a
search (again, i had nothing in my car, but i don't let cops get away with anything
they want just because they're cops - this includes unwarranted searches when there
is no reason or suspicion that makes a search of my car necessary [or lawful,
without my consent for that matter]). He runs a flashlight in my window, as does the
sgt, carefully looking for about 10 minutes for something visual that he can use as
grounds to search my car. Obviously finding nothing, he takes off his gloves and
returns to his car, looking very hurt that he didn't have the honor of searching my
car and finding a kilo of crack (or whatever it is he was suspecting to find) to
impress his sgt (meanwhile, the sgt is still looking through my windows trying to
find justification to search my car without consent).
at this time, the newer cop asks cyrene to talk to him. she follows him, and he
asks a bunch of questions about what's in the car. She answers in the same way I
did - nothing. He then searches a pouch cyrene has on her belt (which is basically
like a purse, i guess - she keeps random items like her phone, money, etc. in there)
and obviously finds nothing unusual. i think they go through the girlfriend thing
again, and she comes back and sits on the curb with me, and the two cops talk to
each other for a while quietly. On their radios we here recaps of events we have
been stopped by police for (including park curfew warnings -- whoops).
The newer cop asks to speak to me again, and we discuss for about 15 minutes why
he can't search my car, and insists that the only reason i would refuse a search
was because i'm hiding something. so i'm repeatedly asked "what are you hiding."
after a while of this he realizes he's not going to be able to bully me into a
search, and he has me sign my ticket. He has me sit down. 10 minutes later, he
has cyrene sign her ticket. He tells her that we're "heading down the wrong
path" -- idiginantly, she reminds him that there's kids in Upland that are
doing much worse things than hanging out at the park.
she's right, you know.
DO NOT FUCK WITH ME, I AM A BAD APPLE.
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