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Impulse Reality 239
db d8888b. .-------------------------------------------------------.
88 `8D | impulse reality press presents... |
`88' 88oobY' `-------------------------------------------------------'
88 88`8b [ ir file no. 239 | released 04/19/03 | 100% tasty text ]
.88. 88 `88. [ "LIBEL! WAR DECLARED - Again!" ]
Y8888P 88 YD [ written by linear ]
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| the revolution will be one fueled by art and love alone, |
| there is no hope for revolution based on anything else. |
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The folks over at the zine known as Angstmonster, along with a
small handful of other zines and text authors, have found it necessary to
start a zine known as "impulse lameality" in order to post libelous
statements against us. We understand the nature of text zines and groups,
and many a time in the history of our scene, such things have occurred. I
am reminded of Blisters On My Butt (BOMB) parodying Hogz of Entrpy (HOE),
and similar occurences.
Unfortunately, what angstmonster and impulse lameality are doing
is not the playful, good-fun nature of previous zines.
You see, the iR victory in the impulse reality/anada war
frightened angstmosnster so much so, that they felt the need to launch a
premptive strike on iR. However, they had to wrap the strike in blankets of
deciet in order to trick us in the text scene that their strike would not
violate the General Textual Truce Act of 1998, that states that any
imperialistic or unnecessary strike or attack on another text-based zine or
group is prohibited.
They justify their attack (the founding of "impulse lameality") by
a AIM log that supposedly captures me (ironically enough in conversation
with gir of Angstmonster) plotting to go to war with angstmonster. Now,
were I going to attack, would I share such information with the enemy?
Heavens no!
Here is the 100% ILLEGITIMATE log posted in "il" #001. Again, I
remind you this is a complete fraud! Made up by the overlords at
Angstmonster:
0Oo-oO0Oo-oO0
its linear: yo, i haven't finished reading all of 24, but i have read
enough to let you know that in the next iR batch release (coming
soon), we shall be declaring war on you.
i am not gir: on what grounds?
its linear: On the grounds that you attempt to call for peace within
the textfile scene. We see peace as a direct threat to the iR /anada
war. And as we feel we have neutralized _anada_ for the time being,
it is within our scope to venture elsewhere for war and ascii
bloodshed!
i am not gir: man fuck that
i am not gir: make ascii not war
its linear: lines such as "IT'S NEVER TOO LATE PEOPLE! HOW MANY MORE
LIVES ARE WE GOING TO LOSE TO TEXTFILE RIVALRY!?! " and "IT STOPS
HERE! JOIN WITH ME IN A BAN ON VIOLENCE IN TEXTFILES AND TOGETHER WE
MIGHT FORGE A MIGHTY PEACEFUL WORLD WHERE LOVERS OF THE ASCII YOUNG
AND OLD MAY GET DOWN IN ALL SORTS OF FUNKY WAYS..." have greatly
offended us iRians!
0Oo-oO0Oo-oO0
Now, obviously this log is completely fraudulent. Here below, is the
REAL TEXT of that log! This is how it really went down - all horribly
mutilated by the war-hungry gir/angstmonster.
****** NOTE: 100% REAL, UNCENSORED, LEGITIMATE AIM LOG POSTED BELOW!!!!!@#$
0Oo-oO0Oo-oO0
its linear: yo, i haven't finished reading all of 24, but i have read
enough to let you know that in the next iR batch release (coming
soon), we shall be calling off the war with Anada!
i am not gir: on what grounds?
its linear: On the grounds that your glorious call for peace within
the textfile scene has truly moved us. We see the error in our ways!
harmony and love within the community is now iR's number one concern.
i am not gir: man fuck that
i am not gir: more war! push retarded kids down!
its linear: Wow, that's kinda messed up. Anyway, lines such as "IT'S
NEVER TOO LATE PEOPLE! HOW MANY MORE LIVES ARE WE GOING TO LOSE TO
TEXTFILE RIVALRY!?! " and "IT STOPS HERE! JOIN WITH ME IN A BAN
ON VIOLENCE IN TEXTFILES AND TOGETHER WE MIGHT FORGE A MIGHTY
PEACEFUL WORLD WHERE LOVERS OF THE ASCII YOUNG AND OLD MAY GET DOWN
IN ALL SORTS OF FUNKY WAYS..." have shown iR the light! Peace and
love forever!
0Oo-oO0Oo-oO0
Unfortunately, since gir's original words of peace were obviously
invalidated by his preemptive strike against us, as well as his forgey of
a log file, we are affraid we have learned that peace is NOT the answer.
We WILL NOT CALL OFF THE WAR WITH ANADA! However, it is currently on haitus
as we take care of the atrocity that is Angstmonster, and it's hateful
spoof/parody/mock-zine "impulse lameality."
You're either with us, or against us, folks.
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| impulse reality happy fun time goodness |
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permission is granted to spread material within this text document freely.
we kindly ask that you properly credit it's author(s) for their hard work!
all rights are retained by the author(s), respectively
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| |
| IMPULSE REALITY E'ZINE CAN BE REACHED ON THE WEB AT... |
| http://www.phonelosers.net/ir |
| |
| FOR IMPORTANT, UP-TO-DATE TEXT SCENE NEWS, VISIT... |
| http://www.textscene.com |
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| THE OLD WORLD IS BEHIND YOU. |
| |
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