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Impulse Reality 251
s$
.d""b. impulse reality press no. 251 - do you love me, baby?
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$$ $$ "EVERYTHING IS SO SILLY." or "The Ways We is No. 4"
$$ $$ written by linear
$$ $$ released 8/01/04
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oooooohhhhhhh shit shit shit TEXT IS SO DEAD!@$
Hi! it's me. i'm linear!!@# REMEMBER ME?
i run this zine. ACTUALLY I RELEASE SO INFREQUENTLY YOU
MIGHT SAY THAT I WALK THIS ZINE! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
(that's a little joke)
SO WHAT THE FUCK?
you ask
WHY HAVE YOU DEPRIVED ME FOR SO LONG
OF ALL THE BEAUTY OF THE iR EZINE?
you continue.
I got busy. I got a life. I got friends that
I actually hang out with in REAL LIFE (rl - HAHAHAHA. no.)
that I don't have to be online to talk with.
I can actually look them in the face. SOMETIMES,
i can even HUG THEM!
(HUGS? that is a SILLY version of a post
i made on the TEXTSCENE MESSAGE BOARD.
the other version was the SAD VERSION!!!)
I also got a FULL TIME JOB
after
DROPPING OUT OF COLLEGE
(daddy doesn't love me anymore)
EVERYTHING IS SO SILLY.
I GOT WRAPPED UP IN WORKIN' ON LEAVIN' THE LIVIN'
(that's a /somewhat/ obscure music reference, folks)
so i lost track of something kinda important: YOU.
i almost ended the zine. but i've spent 5 years of
my life on the zine. and 5 years AIN'T A NOTHING
you give up easily. So HI! WELCOME BACK.
Just because i got friends and a job and a life doesn't
mean i forgot about THE SCENE. i even READ ZINES a lot
in my absence. I continued to help support Textscene.com
(GO THERE NOW!). I even showed one of my rl friends my
favorite textfiles! she read them and pretended to like
them so i could feel better about myself and the scene
that ate up 5 years of my life OH MY GOD THAT IS SCARY.
BUT I MADE A LOT OF FRIENDS IN THIS TEXT LIFE TOO!
and even though i can't hug you, i can talk to you
at three in the morning in my boxers with really bad
breath while i eat oriental top ramen and you UNDERSTAND
ME WHEN I TYPE LIKE A WEIRDO
AND FORMAT
MY WRITING
CRAZY.
i WOULD NOT change THAT for the WORLD.
iR is back, hopefully stronger than ever. I will try to release
more regularly now (this means that YOU, even if you've never
written anything before or do not know me or hate oriental top
ramen, HAVE TO SUBMIT NEW TEXTFILES FOR ME TO RELEASE!@).
I know I've promised a more regular release schedule many times
in the past (usually followed by immediate year-long hiatuseseses
and no contact to the TEXT WORLD from me), but this time i swear
i hope something's really going to change. I MISS YOU GUYS,
AND I KNOW
THAT YOU
MISS THE GREATEST ZINE OF STUPIDITY EVER.
and while i can't bring back h0e, i can do the next best thing:
WEEELCOME BAAAACK IMPULSE REALITY, YES.
(interesting post script to this story: i began writing this text at work.
sometime in the middle of the text, i answered a call. a simple call, asking
for an address. i asked the caller to hold. i then decided to finish the line
of text i was writing. then i forgot about the customer. then i finished the
whole text. then i realized my customer had been on hold the whole time. she
was still there. so i hung up on her. she was on the phone for 13 minutes 53
seconds. this is how important you are to me, o' scene. iR: Risking Jobs to
Save the Art.)
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