Public Enema Productions Issue 01

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Public Enema Productions

 · 5 years ago

  

 
PUBLIC ENEMA PRODUCTIONS!!!! 
ISSUE #1 
By A. Nonomous 
"This world needs an enema, and we're just the men to do it" 

Disclaimer: I don't reccomend using the techniches described in this doc, so 
don't come crying to me if you get caught. This information is presented for 
INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY by way of the first ammendment("BoB" bless 
America). Besides, we KNOW you would never use any of this... 

TABLE OF CONTENTS!!! 
1-INTRODUCTION 
2-HACKING PEPSI MACHINES 
3-FREE NATIONAL SPORTSPAPER 
4-FREE PHONE CALLS FROM LONG'S DRUGS 
5-SODOMY BOXING 
6-CONCLUSION 

Chapter 1-Introduction 
Howdy for the information of the Public Enema anarchist group. This is my 
first electronic publication, but not the first phile that I've written and 
distributed. It's gonna be kinda' weak at first because I'm the only one 
gathering information and writing articles. Hopefully, other people will join 
in soon. Look for me(A. Nonomous/The Hare Krishna) on the bay area scene, 
mostly east bay if you want to contribute. Well, hope you like it... 

CHAPTER 2-STOP THE pEpSi CONSPIRACY!!!!! 
    Caffine is in Pepsi. Caffine is a drug. Drugs are evil(so sez George). So, 
by the substitution postulate(I have been paying attention in class!!!) 
Pepsi=evil. Right???? So is it wrong to steal money from drug dealers??? I 
didn't think so... 

 
MATERIALS: 
-A guy that's pretty skinny 
-A knife 
THAT'S IT!!! 

    OK... First, you have to know where to look. On the bottom right side of 
the machine there is a little hole. It's located above the base but below the 
hinges. 

ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°P°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°E°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°P°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°S°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°I°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°ÛÛÛÛÛ°°°°°°Û 
Û°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°Û 
ÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛÛ <---- You're gonna want to look here... 

 
The next step is the hardest part. Reach into the hole and reach up as far as 
you can. You should feel a vinyl bag. You're going to want to pull this out. 
THIS IS NOT EASY!!! Be patient. If you work long enuff, it will come. It helps 
to be skinny(like me)... It might even help to use fishing hooks or some other 
device to get it out easier, but I'm not sure. Once it's out, all you have to 
do is chop it open. This is also not easy. My personal preference is to light 
the bag on fire and melt it a little. This is also kinda' fun. There's nothing 
like watching a Pepsi machine spew smoke. I know at my school I've made $110 
in one night off of 2 machines without any effort at all. 

    On the newer machines, that have the coolin' picture on the front, it's 
super easy to get free pepsis(but I'm not sure about the money). Just open the 
flap that the cans come out of and feel around. Usually there are a couple of 
six packs there for storage. Pull them out of the plastic rings and you're set. 

    Now, you may ask, doesn't this sound too good to be true??? IT'S ALL 
TRUE!!! That's the incredible part. BTW-This techniche doesn't work on the 
older machines, just the ones with bubbled fronts and/or chillin' pictures on 
the front. 

*NOTE* THIS MAY NOT WORK ON SOME MACHINES! YOU HAVE TO LOOK AROUND FOR ONES 
THAT WILL WORK... 

CHAPTER 3-FREE SPORTS PAPER 
    Why you would want this piece of shit paper is beyond me, but hey, for 
free, why not??? For those of you that have NO idea what I'm talking about, 
the NATIONAL is a weekly sports newspaper that's distrubed by way of newspaper 
boxes. These boxes can be found out front of convience stores, BART stations, 
supermarkets, and on various street corners. Anyway, if you look under the 
box, you'll find a little slit. Reach in a pull out a paper. It's really that 
easy. Free papers in seconds!!! 

*NOTE* THIS ALSO MAY WORK ON OTHER NEWSPAPER VENDING MACHINES! I'VE NOTICED 
THAT THE LA TIMES HAS THE SAME SET UP... 

CHAPTER 4-FREE PHONE CALLS FROM LONG'S DRUGS 
    This is an easy/stoopid way of calling people for free from the Payfones 
outside Long's drugs. It may or may not work on other 
independently-owned(ie:non PacBell) payfones. It's easy... Just call a 1-800 
number, tell them you got the wrong number, and wait for them to hang up. 
After a short period of time, you will get a dial tone again. PRESTO! Call 
away! If it doesn't work, then sorry, no free call.... bummer dude. It's 
always worked for me though... 

 
CHAPTER 5-SODOMY BOXING 
    OK, I know this sounds wierd at first, but I couldn't think of a better 
name. It's to "GET THE PHONE COMPANY UP THE BUTT!!!!"... It's actually a super 
easy way to get free calls from Northern California(or at least my area)... 
Ok, what it is is very simple... 
    When PacBell adds another line, they put a grey box somewhere on the side 
of your house. Open this box(with a screwdriver) and "PRAISE 'BOB'!!!!" it's a 
phone jack. Everythings provided for... All you need is your own phone and off 
you go!!! This is great for calling 976/900 numbers and calling phriends 
that're FAR, FAR away. You could even bring a laptop along if you felt like 
it... 

*NOTE* DON'T DO THIS ON YOUR OWN HOUSE!!!!(DUH...) 

CHAPTER 6-CONCLUSION 
    Welp, I hope you like this issue of the Public Enema Electronic 'Zine... 
I was originally going to put a picture of J.R. 'BoB' Dobbs in here, but it 
didn't fit...Hopefully everthing else came out ok... SEEYA!!!