Copy Link
Add to Bookmark
Report

Impulse Reality 170

eZine's profile picture
Published in 
Impulse Reality
 · 5 years ago

  

s$
.d""b. impulse reality press no. 170
[-- $$ $$ $$ -- ------------------------------------------------------ --]
$$ $$ "suck my gigantic dick, linear"
$$ $$ written by mogel
$$ $$ released 1/14/02
[-- $$ $$ ------ ------------------------------------------------------ --]

so it's corny like this:
wandering through this house, right, and i get to the kitchen, and
i'm thinking HOLY SHIT I'M HUNGRY so i open up the fridge, and all they've
got is these bags and bags of god damn CANDY CORN.
so i start eating up that shit, because i'm hungry. i must've
eaten like 2000 candy corns in the dream, see. and then HOLY SHIT I'M
SICK and i'm all dizzy and gonna puke maybe? hopefully not?
astertheit: its fun to watch.
astertheit: i dont know, theres lots of adventure and
shooting and stuff
this is a bad movie, folks. in every way. i honestly can't fathom
a single reason why anyone would enjoy this shit.
The other day I remember coming home from the sewer. hahaha,
wait, it gets better: The sewer was covered in money!!!
turn around, and there's this couple arguing there -at length-
about peanut butter. one of them likes creamy, the other chunky. so
they're insulting each other, and the girl says, "you're eating creamy!
god, how can you STAND that stuff! it's so gooey and toothypastey and
fake!"
or is there a way i could smear and embarass every single person
who owns these movies so they'll be gifted with the light of wisdom and
see how fucking ridiculous they look?
i'm open to suggestions!
had this creepy dream. i was in this big party. basically i'm on
some hard-core psychedelic drug that i'm not sure what it is, but it's
way too strong. so basically, i'm wandering into different rooms all
tripping out, and everything is bizarre and surreal. total scene out of
'fear and loathing in las vegas'.
i never seem to get enough sleep.
i miss sleeping with someone.
i dream about bridges.
and the guy's like, "oh, like i REALLY want nuts all stuck in
my teeth." and i'm sitting there so so sick. and i look up to the
ceiling. and there's a spider with a big cartoon smile laughing at me.
and that was the dream. pretty weird, huh?
and if anyone tells me that the real meaning is the stuggle of
good versus evil i hope some part of them is *embarassed* for thinking
that the laser-light exchanges between bad actors and spaceships said
through an alternating trite-or-gimpy dialogue filter could POSSIBLY
represent the ideas of "good and evil" could be taken seriously. or even
at all. and not just laughed off. in my eyes, it's all fucking
battleship earth.

Jalek: well it's a good story
Jalek: some of it is very obviously engineered to sell, though
cubedweller: Now? probably the fact that I liked it so much as a kid
cubedweller: and now watching the movies reminds me of that

i'll admit that maybe i'm a little down on "no fills sci-fi" and
endless ripoffs and cliches and grand sweeping grandiousness of every
fucking detail that happens in the life of a future knight and his droid.
maybe i just don't care about FANTASTICAL JOURNEYS into FAR OFF WORLDS
OF MIGHT AND WONDER GOSH I AM SO CURIOUS WHAT SORT OF FANTASTICAL
BEASTS LIE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS MAGICAL MIRROR GATEWAY INTO
ALTERNATE AND MUCH MORE FANTASTICAL UNIVERSE HELLO WHY IS MY HUSBAND
BEATING MY SON I CAN NOT SAY BECAUSE I AM TOO ENGROSSED IN THE SHEER
FANTASTICALNESS OF EVERYTHING IN THIS ALTERNATE PLACE RIGHT NOW.
people who like generic fantasy suck, too.
*good* *stuff* *has* *meaning*. even if that meaning is easy-going.
even if that meaning is "stop thinking about the meaning of
everything, you dork, and just 'live'." - guess what? that's STILL a
fucking MEANING so FUCK YOU for liking fantasy simply because it exists.

Quarex: I have always found it to be a rather dull film. Or do you mean
the series itself?
Quarex: The characters are generally reasonably interesting (at least,
until you get to Episode 1, when maybe a few are still interesting),
the action scenes are fun to look at, and seeing them re-released
in the theatres was really fun.
Uberfizzgig: Because it's about space! ANd it has cool characters and
a great story.
Uberfizzgig: The part in space is good. And the conflict between good
and evil is always a great story.
could anyone reading this reply and tell me what your favorite thing
about going to the bathroom is?
seriously.
i got a 16mm film projector off ebay for 40 bucks a week ago.
no hard feelings, right? hugs, right??
when i say 'fuck you' it doesn't mean you specifically.
i mean, not you. reading this. it's a very vague fuck you.
i'm sure i could easily go into detail, rip apart every single
nuance of this movie into puny shreads, and while that'd be kind of fun,
it's also way too much effort. i simply don't like reveling in things
i hate. i just felt like posting this because i rarely get to say this to
anyone out loud.
cursing star wars openly in mainstream america is like saying
you're with the KKK.
i'm tired of sitting in an office building, working late,
coming home--always lonely, tired, and unmotivated.
"what are they doing right now? do they ever think of me? do
they miss me at all? how does this new guy she's with compare to me?"
toldja it sounded corny.

[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]
the clever thing to do here would be to put some sort of copyright. no.
http://www.phonelosers.net/ir
[-------------------------------------------------------------------------]

← previous
next →
loading
sending ...
New to Neperos ? Sign Up for free
download Neperos App from Google Play
install Neperos as PWA

Let's discover also

Recent Articles

Recent Comments

Neperos cookies
This website uses cookies to store your preferences and improve the service. Cookies authorization will allow me and / or my partners to process personal data such as browsing behaviour.

By pressing OK you agree to the Terms of Service and acknowledge the Privacy Policy

By pressing REJECT you will be able to continue to use Neperos (like read articles or write comments) but some important cookies will not be set. This may affect certain features and functions of the platform.
OK
REJECT