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Anada 073
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## ## ### I S S U E # 0 7 3 0 6 - 1 0 - 0 0 ### ####
### # ### #######
#### ### "Jason on Overcoming Heroin Chic" ###
####### by Jason
####
I subscribe to a rather interesting little website for those
interested in knowledge for knowledge's sake. It's called WHQuestion, and
is organized kind of like a bunch of disembodied brains bouncing around in a
pool of water. (Bobbing for Brains! I just invented a new party game!)
Somebody asks a question, and then everybody has the chance to answer it.
The questioner then evaluates the answers, and the answerers get points. I
haven't figured out what the points are for, yet. This site was
instrumental in my determining that people use the equivalent of about 45
gallons of gas a year.
So anyway, one of the questions went like this: "After the big 80's
and 90's 'thin is in' fad, is it possible that the new millennium will show
a backlash? What effect will that have on how women will perceive their
bodies? Will anorexia (not the disease--the look) finally be out of style?"
That seems innocuous enough, but many of the answers had that good ol'
"Those damn white males are conspiring to keep us down by convincing us to
starve ourselves!" tinge to them.
Now far be it from me to utter the slightest sexist sentiment, but
what a load of unmitigated bullshit!!
As always, though, I have a perfect rationale for my inflammatory
statement. First, we are, as a species, drawn to very specific traits in
our potential mates. Those traits are normally symbols of genetic health
and the ability to survive. If you look back in history, the ideal for
women was normally FAT chicks, with PALE skin! Why, you ask? Up until this
century, if you were thin and tan, that meant you worked out in the field
and had to try to eke out a living as a peasant, you weren't "hot". If you
could eat a lot and lay around inside all day, you were probably pretty well
off. Just look at all of the old paintings and sculptures; in just about
every one, the chick has at least TWO chins and, ironically, small boobs in
relation to the rest of her fat content (a sign of virginity, perhaps?). In
the Victorian period when people like Yeates died of tuberculosis, it became
"cool" to be pale and sickly-looking, so chicks POISONED themselves with
arsenic in order to look nice and ill. Nowadays, when there's plenty of
food and everybody works indoors, it's attractive to be thin and tan.
Apparently, the theory goes, people are attracted to those things that are
unusual and also a sign that you've got a lot of free time to either sit
around and eat or work out.
Second, all of this ideal appearance bullshit ALSO APPLIES TO MEN!
You don't believe me? Sure, then men spend billions on Rogaine because they
like how it smells. They work out to get muscles and lose the beer gut
because they actually care about their health. They use Viagra because of
the 3 percent chance of seeing everything tinted blue. I can think of about
as many male actors who have guts as I can chicks on the heavy side, and
nearly all will deny their baldness unto death. I've NEVER seen a male
model with a gut or even a hint of a receding hairline. Actually, I might
have, but my mind has a Teflon coating when it comes to men. Sure there are
a lot of older actors who are considered sexy, but it's not my fault chicks
find some 900 year-old guy hot. Through the ages, the view of the ideal man
has not changed much. An attractive man is one who looks like he can beat
the tobacco juice out of anybody who gets in his face.
So what does all of this boil down to? All of this clap-trap about
the fashion industry poisoning chicks' minds rings about as true as my
claims to score regularly. The power to put a stop to it all exists solely
in women's friggin' hands! As I always tell my mom, the greatest enemy to
feminism today is other women. You don't NEED to be five-foot-ten DD
bleach-blonde easy slut to get guys! Most guys have perfectly reasonable
expectations of women! Sure, there are guys out there who want some hot
little slut, and there are plenty of insecure brain-dead little 'hos who
will be more than willing to fellate them until they spew sand for nothing
more than a pat on the head. If you DO meet one of those assholes who is
not going to settle for anything less than that ultra-hot supermodel, then
kick the fucker in the balls and push him into the gutter!
After you've done that, then you must score with me.
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# (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda073 .*. by Jason #
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