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Impulse Reality 044

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Impulse Reality
 · 5 years ago

  

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_I_R_ | || |\ \
M E | || |/____/ THE XRATED BIBLE
P A | || |\ \ ir file number 044
U L |____||____| |____| released 09.30.00
L I | || |\| | appreciated by nawleed
S T |____||____| |____| we're just fucking with your mind.
E Y even_god_reads_it

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CmdrTaco (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday September 27, @03:02PM PDT (#9)
HeLo Freendsn This is HEMOS!!1 i h8 god he isz a fuc en fag!!!1 i wud like to
say hi 2 my frends!!! pRimARyStEM 4 lyFe! ThiS Is 4 u bob JONES III!!!!! tks.
Was He a loving GOD? The biblical god is a macho male warrior. Though he said
"Thou shall not kill,'' he ordered death for all opposition, wholesale
drowning and mass exterminationsY punishes offspring to the fourth generation
(Ex.20: 5)Y ordered pregnant women and children to be ripped up (Hos. 13:16)Y
demands animal and human blood to appease his angry vanityY is partial to one
race of peopleY judges women inferior to menY is a sadist who created a hell
to torture unbelieversY created evil (Is. 45:7)Y discriminated against the
handicapped (Le. 21:18-23)Y ordered virgins to be kept as spoils of war (Num.
31:15-18, Deut. 21:11-14)Yspread dung on people's faces (Mal. 2:3)Y sent
bears to devour 42 children who teased a prophet (II Kings 2:23-24)Y punishes
people with snakes, dogs, dragons, drunkenness, swords, arrows, axes, fire,
famine, and infanticideY add said fathers should eat their sons (Ez. 5:10)Is
that nice? Would you want to live next door to such a person? Was Jesus Gay?
It was noted that one version of St. Mark's gospel - which is still the
subject of academic dispute - alludes to Jesus having a homosexual
relationship with a youth he raised from the dead. According to the US
Biblical scholar, Morton Smith, of Columbia University, a fragment of
manuscript he found at the Mar Saba monastery near Jerusalem in 1958, showed
that the full text of St. Mark chapter 10 (between verses 34 and 35 in the
standard version of the Bible) includes the following passage: "And the
youth, looking upon him (Jesus), loved him and beseeched that he might remain
with him. And going out of the tomb, they went into the house of the youth,
for he was rich. And after six days, Jesus instructed him and, at evening,
the youth came to him wearing a linen cloth over his naked body. And he
remained with him that night, for Jesus taught him the mystery of the
Kingdom of God". There is scant information about Jesus' sexuality: "We
don't know for sure whether Jesus was straight, gay, bisexual or celibate.
There is certainly no evidence for the Church's presumption that he was
heterosexual. Nothing in the Bible points to him having desires or
relationships with women. The possibility of a gay Christ cannot be ruled
out. "Since there is no proof of the heterosexuality of Jesus, the
theological basis of Church homophobia is all the more shaky and
indefensible. "Jesus was born a man and therefore presumably had male sexual
feelings. But there are no references in the gospels to his sexuality. Large
chunks of Jesus's life are missing from the Biblical accounts. This has
fuelled speculation that the early Church sanitized the gospels, removing
references to Christ's sexuality that were not in accord with the
heterosexual morality that it wanted to promote." The Crucifixion was a
Fraud Billions of Christians believe Christ was crucified, buried, and then
rose again. This is the basis for Christian faith. What if Jesus survived
the crucifixion? Would this be pure blasphemy or is there reason behind this
assumption? There is evidence in the gospels themselves that say Christ may
have survived the crucifixion and that the crucifixion to put it bluntly
was a "fraud." Writer and researcher Michael Baigent, author of Holy Blood-
Holy Grail, and other scholars believe that the gospels are suspect to the
theory of the survival of Christ. He says his theories are not intended to
offend, but one must keep a clear distinction between the Jesus of history
and the Jesus of theology even though the Jesus of theology is based on the
historical Jesus. One can only find the figure of the Jesus of history by
teasing out of various historical documents, some which are the New
Testament. In the theory of the survival of Jesus, there are a number of
clues, which help support it, but there are two major clues that are the
strongest. The first is in the crucifixion itself. When a person was
crucified they did not die quickly, but rather a slow painful, morbid death
which would have taken two to three days, possibly even a week. Jesus
supposedly died within two to three hours. Joseph of Arimethea went to Pilot
and asked to have the body of Jesus, which was contrary to Roman law anyway,
and when Pilot heard that Jesus was already dead, he was so surprised to
hear that Jesus had died so quickly that he sent a centurion to check. The
second oddity is that the crucifixion took place in what seemed to be a
private garden and a tomb owned by Joseph of Arimethea. The importance of
this observation is that if there was any fraudulence associated with the
crucifixion, then the public could be kept away in a private garden and
Jesus could be privately taken away, revived, tendered and ministered to. If
Jesus did not die on the cross he wouldhave been forced toflee the Holy Land.
If authorities discovered Jesus was still alive, he would have been punished
again. So where would he have gone? There is a story of Christ's life after
the crucifixion. That the blood relatives of Jesus may still live among us!
Rennes le Ch×teau is at the foot of the Peraniese Mountains in the South of
France. This small town is at the center of a religious and historical
cyclone. The story begins with a young Parish priest by the name of BÊrenger
SauniÉre. BÊrenger SauniÉre was first assigned to Rennes le Ch×teau in 1885
at the age of 33. He started renovations of the church and found a suspicious
hallow piece in the altar when taking it apart. Within the hallow piece he
found four parchments, which started the mystery. Two of the parchments were
written in code which he could not decipher. SauniÉre took the parchments to
Paris to seek help from experts in military code and ciphers. It is believed
that he found the key to unlocking the mystery of the documents. It is also
believed that someone gave SauniÉre money to find out what information was
obtained in the parchments or perhaps to keep the secrets of Rennes le
Ch×teau from becoming public. When BÊrenger SauniÉre went home he started a
full renovation of the church. He found new details within the church's
artwork that he thought to be clues to the information contained in the
parchments. Is it possible that the coded documents revealed to BÊrenger
SauniÉre that Christ had survived the crucifixion? In a depiction of stage
fourteen of the cross, which is normally the body of Christ being carried to
the tomb, SauniÉre showed the moon as already risen, thus Passover had
already begun. No Jew would handle a dead body after the beginning of
Passover. Either SauniÉre was showing that: a)The body is not dead or b) They
were taking the body out of the tomb and not in. After renovating the church,
SauniÉre still had some money left over, so he continued in Rennes le Ch×teau
and built a house, garden, and a tower which he named after Mary Magdala
(Magdalene). The figure of Mary Magdala may prove key to historical legends
that Mary Magdala traveled to the South of France, in addition some scholars
believe she may have been the wife of Jesus. A number of documents spoke of
relationships between Mary Magdala and Jesus that could only be described as
close. For example, it was witnessed that Jesus kissed her often on the lips
to the point where the other disciples complained, perhaps they felt jealous.
Jesus was a religious teacher. It was very unusual for a Jewish religious
teacher to be unmarried, in fact a commandment of God was to be fruitful and
multiply. The question arose, what could possibly be so important about this
relationship that would cause such a mystery? Michael Baigent believes two
stories converge here. Could the Holy Grail, the illusive treasure of legend
and myth be the key to unlocking this mystery? It would seem unrelated to
Jesus and Mary but may be the most important clue of all. The Holy Grail was
thought of as the chalice Christ drank from at the Last Supper, and which may
of held his blood after the crucifixion. Could the HolyGrail have another
meaning? A meaning hidden in the French words for Holy Grail: SAN GREAL =
Holy Grail, if broken differently to SANG REAL = Blood Royal, the royal blood
line. During research historical proof was found that the line of David,
Jesus' bloodline, existed in Europe during Medieval Times. According to
BÊrenger SauniÉre when the knight finds the Grail, he does not find the
golden chalice, but proof that Jesus survived the crucifixion. In 1917 when
SauniÉre was dying, he called for a priest to hear his confessions. When the
priest did, he fled from the room in shock, never smiling again. Perhaps
SauniÉre imparted in him a secret, a secret that has been suppressed for
2,000 years. A secret that Jesus had survived the crucifixion. A secret that
Jesus had a relationship with Mary Magdala, a relationship which produced
children. And that these children made they're way to France, where the blood
line of Christ, the bloodline of the royal line of David, continued and in
fact continues today. You're looking at the difference between the Jesus of
theology and the Jesus of history. The Jesus of theology is a God the Jesus
of history is a man like all other men. "We are trying to regain the Jesus of
history, to find Jesus the man who walked, loved, and taught in Judah in the
1st Century A.D." Biblical Contradictions The Power Of God "... with God all
things are possible." -- Matthew 19:26 "...The LORD was with JudahY and he
drove out the inhabitants of the mountainY but could not drive out the
inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -- Judges 1:19
Seeing God "....I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved." --
Genesis 32:30 "No man hath seen God at any time..."-- John 1:18 Revenge
"...thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for
hand, foot for foot. Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.
" -- Exodus 21:23-25 "...ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee
on the right cheek, turn to him the other also." -- Matthew 5:39 Incest
"Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the
daughter of this mother..." -- Deuteronomy 27:22 "And if a man shall take his
sister, his father's daughter, or his mother's daughter...it is a wicked
thing...." -- Leviticus 20:17 What was god's reaction to Abraham, who married
his sister -- his father's daughter? See Genesis 20:11-12 "And God said unto
Abraham, As for Sara thy wife...I bless her, and give thee a son also of
her..." Genesis 17:15-16 Temptation "Let no man say when he is tempted, I am
tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any
man." -- James 1:13 "And it came to pass after these things, that God did
tempt Abraham..." -- Genesis 22:1 Resurrection of the Dead "...He that goeth
down to the grave shall come up no more. " -- Job 7:9 "...The hour is
coming, in which all that are in the graves shall hear his voice, and shall
come forth...." -- John 5:28-29 War or Peace EXO 15:3 The LORD is a man of
war: the LORD is his name. ROM 15:33 Now the God of peace be with you all.
Amen. Jesus--Equal to or Lesser Than JOH 10:30 I and my Father are one. JOHN
14:28 Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you.
If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for
my Father is greater than I. Which First--Beasts or Man GEN 1:25 And God made
the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every
thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was
good. GEN 1:26 And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our
likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the
fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every
creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. GEN 2:18 And the LORD God
said, It is not good that the man should be aloneY I will make him an
help meet for him. GEN 2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field, and every fowl of the airY and brought them
unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called
every living creature, that was the name thereof. The Number of Beasts
in the Ark GEN 7:8 Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean,
and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth, GEN 7:9
There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the
female, as God had commanded Noah. How Many Stalls and Horsemen KI1
4:26 And Solomon had forty thousand stalls of horses for his chariots,
and twelve thousand horsemen. CH2 9:25 And Solomon had four thousand
stalls for horses and chariots, and twelve thousand horsemenY whom he
bestowed in the chariot cities, and with the king at Jerusalem. The
Sins of the Father ISA 14:21 Prepare slaughter for his children for
the iniquity of their fathersY that they do not rise, nor possess the
land, nor fill the face of the world with cities. DEU 24:16 the
fathers shall not be put to death for the children neither shall
the children be put to death for the fathers: every man shall be put
to death for his own sin. Moses' Personality Num.12:3: "Now the man
Moses was very meek, above all the men which were upon the face of the
earth." Num.31:14, 17, 18: "And Moses was wroth...And Moses said unto
them, "Have ye saved all the women alive? ... Now therefore kill every
male among the little ones, and kill every woman, ... But all the
women children ... keep alive for yourselves." Righteous Live Ps.92:12:
"The righteous shall flourish like the palm tree." Isa.57:1:
"The righteous perisheth, and no man layeth it to heart." Jesus' Last
Words Matt.27:46,50: "And about the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud
voice, saying, "Eli, eli, lama sabachthani?" that is to say, "My God,
my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" ...Jesus, when he cried again with
a loud voice, yielded up the ghost." Luke23:46: "And when Jesus had
cried with a loud voice, he said, "Father, unto thy hands I commend
my spirit:" and having said thus, he gave up the ghost." John19:30: "When
Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, "It is finished:" and
he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost." Years of Famine II SAMUEL
24:13: So God came to David, and told him, and said unto him, shall
SEVEN YEARS OF FAMINE come unto thee in thy land? Or will thou flee
three months before thine enemies, while they pursue. thee? I CHRONICLES
21:11: SO God came to David, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD,
Choose thee. Either THREE YEARS OF FAMINE or three months to be destryed
before thy foes, while that the sword of thine enemies overtaketh thee.
Judas' Death "And he cast down the pieces of silver into the temple and
departed, and went out and hanged himself." (Matt. 27:5) "And falling
headlong, he burst asunder in the midst, and all of his bowels gushed out."
(Acts 1:18) Who Bears Guilt GAL 6:2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so
fulfil the law of Christ. GAL 6:5 For every man shall bear his own burden
Jehoiachin's Age When He Began to Reign KI2 24:8 Jehoiachin was eighteen
years old when he began to reign, and he reigned in Jerusalem three
months. And his mother's name was Nehushta, the daughter of Elnathan of
Jerusalem. CH2 36:9 Jehoiachin was eight years old when he began to reign,
and he reigned three months and ten days in Jerusalem: and he did that which
was evil in the sight of the LORD. The X-rated Bible "Alright class take
out your textbooks. Today we are going to be discussing incest. You'll
notice that on the blackboard I have requested you also read the chapter
outlining gang rape. Tonight's homework assignment will be for you to look
over the section concerningcannibalism, and make yourself familiar with next
week's topic, voyeurism." Does this sound like your typical sixth grade
class? No? Well it would be if you were attending a bible study school.
For centuries, the Holy Bible has been both a spiritual leader and guide
through the workings of daily life. It remains the number one printed book
in the world, and many faithholders still swear by it. As a "Christian
Nation" we encourage our children to start reading the bible at an early
age. Hoping that they too will understand the important message it carries.
But are we aware of what it is that we are allowing them to read? Many of
the topics within the scriptures are pornographic, inhumane, and
controversial. Several of the ideas and morals expressed within the bible
are so disturbing that they relate to modern day forms of media that we
censor in today's society. But we allow children to read this, and base
their moral character on these verses. Below is listed a few of the shocking
topics discussed within this nation's holy text. Abortion Numbers 31:17
Moses says "kill every male among the little ones, and kill every woman
that hath known man by lying with him." -This refers to pregnant women.
Adultery II Samuel 11:2-4 "And David sent and after the woman. And one
said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah
and Hittite? And David sent messengers, and took herY and she came in
unto him, and hey lay with her. Genesis 38:8 "Then Judah said to Onan,
"Lie with your brother's wife and fulfill your duty to her as a
brother-in-law to produce offspring for your brother. Breasts Solomon's
Song 1:13 "A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto meY he shall lie
all night betwixt my breasts." Solomon's Song 8:8 "We have a little sister,
and she hath no breastsY what shall we do for our little sister in the day
when she shall be spoken for?" Ezekiel 23:21 "So you longed for the lewdness
of your youth. When in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breast
fondled." Cannibalism Matthew 26:26 "Jesus took bread, and blessed it, and
brake it, and gave it to the disciples, and said, Take, eatY this is my
body. And he took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them, saying,
Drink ye all of itY For this is my blood.-Also vampirism. II Kings 6:28,29
"And the king said unto her, what aileth thee? And she answered, This woman
said unto me, Give thy son, that we may eat him to day, and we will eat my
son to morrow. So we boiled my son, and did eat him. Child Abuse Genesis
22:9-10 "And they came to the place which God had told him ofY and Abraham
built an altar there, and laid the wood in order, and bound Isaac his son,
and laid him on the altar upon the wood. And Abraham stretched forth his
hand, and took the knife to slay his son." -Also human sacrifice. I Kings
3:24,25 "And the king said, Bring me a sword. And they brought a sword
before the king. And the king said, Divide the living child in two, and give
half to the one, and half to the other." Child Murder Leviticus 20:9 "For
every one that curseth his father or his mother shall be surely put to
deathY he hath cursed his father or his motherY his blood shall be upon
him." Disorder Within the Family Structure Luke 14:26 Jesus said, "If any man
come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and
brethren, and sisters, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."
Mathew 23:9 "And call no man your father upon this earthY for one is
your Father, which is in heaven." Exhibitionism Isaiah 20:2-3 "At the same
time spoke the lord by Isaiah the son of Amoz, saying, Go and loose the
sackcloth from off thy loins, and put off thy shoe from thy foot. And he
did so, walking naked and barefoot. And the lord said, Like as my servant
Isaiah hath walked naked and barefoot three years for a sign and wonder upon
Egypt and EthiopiaY So shall the king of Assyria lead away the Egyptians
prisoners, and the Ethiopians captives,young and old, naked and barefoot,
even with their buttocks uncovered, to the shame of Egypt." Nahum 3:5 "I
will lift your skirts over your face. I will show the nations your nakedness"
Filth Isaiah 36:12 "But Rab-shakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy
master and to thee to speak these words? Hath he not sent me to the men that
sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung and drink their own
urine? Ezekiel 4:12-13 "Eat the food as you would a barley cakeY bake it
in the sight of the people, using human excrement for fuel." Gang Rape Judges
19:24-29 "Behold, there is my daughter a maiden, and his concubineY them I
will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what stems good
unto youY but unto this man do not so vile a thing. But the men would not
hearken to himY so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto
themY and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morningY
and when the day began to spring, they let her go. Then came the woman in the
dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man's house where her
lord was, till it was light. And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened
the doors of the house, and went out to go this wayY and behold, the woman
his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were
upon the threshold. And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none
answered. Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat
him unto his place. And when he was come into the house, he took a knife, and
laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into
twelve pieces, and sent her into the coasts of Israel." Impotence I Kings
1:1-4 "Now king David was old and stricken in yearsY and they covered him
with clothes, but he got no heat. Wherefore his servants said unto
him, Let there be sought for my lord the king a young virginY and let
her stand before the king, and let her cherish him, and let her lie in
thy bosom, that my lord the king may get heat. So they sought for a fair
damsel throughout all the coasts of Israel, and found Abishag a
Shunammite, and brought her to the king. And the damsel was very fair,
and cherished the king, and ministered to himY but the king knew her not"
Incest Genesis 19:31-38 "One day the older daughter said to the younger,
"Our father is old, and there is no man around here to lie with us, as
is the custom all over the earth. Let's get our father to drink wine and
then lie with him and preserve our family line through our father." That
night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in
and lay with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got
up. The next day the older daughter said to the younger, "Last night I
lay with my father. Let's get him to drink wine again tonight, and you
go in and lie with him so we can preserve our family line through our
father." SO they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the
younger daughter went and lay with him. Again he was not aware of it when
she lay down or when she got up. So both of Lot's daughters became pregnant
by their father. Masturbation Genesis 38:9-10 "Whenever Onan lay
with his brother's wife, he spilled his seed on the ground to keep from
producing offspring for his brother. Pedophilia Numbers 31:18 "But all
the women children, that have not known a man by lying with him, keep
alive for yourselves." Penis Size Ezekiel 23:20 "There she lusted after
her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission
was like that of horses." Voyeurism II Samuel 11:2 "David arose from off
his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king's houseY and from the roof
he saw a woman washing herselfY and the woman was very beautiful to look
upon." While most of these verses are forgotten and never again mentioned
at Sunday sermons, the reality stands that they are openly discussed within
the text of the bible. We are allowing the youth to be exposed to ideas
that the bible is ultimately expected to discourage and prevent. Children's
minds are easily influenced. As a nation who cares for our youths' well
being we do not allow them to buy pornography or to enter movies that
are full of intense sex or violent footage. We as a nation should not allow
them to be subjected to the material that is listed above. Gang rape, filth
and cannibalism have no place in a book of morals. Children should have the
right to not be exposed to these crude verses, and the Holy Bible should be
called "The Xrated Bible."

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