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Anada 098
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## ## ### I S S U E # 0 9 8 0 7 - 1 5 - 0 0 ### ####
### # ### #######
#### ### "I, Ione" ###
####### by Ione
####
"I, Ione leave... Thank God!" There it sat in the middle of "I leave
my pom-poms to Christie and my locker to Jane!" No one really noticed, but
then again no one really noticed me, or so I thought. I walked off the
football field in 1995 cap and gown in tote and never looked back. 12 years
of torture finally behind me. Everyone else stood around in his or her
little group hugging and crying. Talking of trips to the beach, one last
summer and being friends forever. As they all drove off to project
graduation honking their horns. I walked home, and never looked back. My
graduation party consisted of 3 friends from out of town, my parents and a
few relatives. It was just fantastic. On June 22 each year I'd take a
moment and think, I wonder what happened to those 300 people who lived a
life with me for 12 years. Immediately I'd stop myself, because after all,
no one thought about me.
Until April 2000, I received a Green, White and Gold envelope bearing
the infamous Tiger seal with the message "Where are you now? The class of
1995 cordially invites you to your 5 year high school reunion!" A biography
form was included and a post it note from our class president stuck on top.
Jeanette (the president) and I fell next to each other in alphabetical order
for 7 years. I had 3 classes with her a year, our lockers were next to each
other, and we were assigned seats next to each other more times than I can
count. We spoke once because she was crying, and not just like a little
teenaged angst cry. She was out right sobbing in the middle of math.
Anyway, I said are you ok? She replied yes, so I handed her some tissues and
that was the end of our profound conversation. Five years later she wrote
on her little purple post it, "I know you wont come, but just tell me where
are you? PS Thanks for the tissues." Well of course I couldn't ignore this
brilliant outreach from the homecoming queen, I mean this is the thing
sitcoms and Molly Ringwald movies are made of!
I figured I would fill out my biography, and throw in a picture and
not go. Unfortunately there were no outwardly ridiculous questions that I
could come up with sarcastic answers for. I cruised
www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com for the perfect photo to include. I was
nearing the end of the questionnaire when I began to rethink my approach.
Graduation Name: Ione Kezia Bailey
Current Name: Ione Love Hewitt
Age: Age is an Illusion
Marital Status: Polygamous
Clubs/Activities: The Breakfast Club, Cheerleader 1,2,3,4
Occupation: Phone Psychic
Hobbies: Grave robbing, torture, voodoo
Most memorable Senior Will Quote:
Senior will quote... Well honestly I had what I felt was the most
memorable senior will, even though no one noticed it. I decided, maybe for
once it wouldn't completely suck to show everyone who I really am. So, I
wrote.
Graduation Name: Ione Kezia Bailey
Current Name: same
City, State: New York, NY
Age: 23
Marital Status: Single
Clubs/Activities: Art Club
Occupation: Mural Painter (I paint murals in hotels/houses I
work with various interior designers.)
Hobbies: yoga, and running
Most memorable Senior Will Quote: I, Ione leave, Thank God!
There it was the real me for all to see. I included a completely
fabulous picture of me and some dear friends at a recent gallery show and
off into the mail the information went.
Two weeks later I received my invitation. My high school gym, in the
great Garden State drinking Coors Light with all the other Springsteen
heads. Oh I couldn't wait, hanging out with all my old friends thinking
about all the great times we had. Laughing at old jokes and singing old
songs. Wait no; piss on that. What was I getting myself into?
The day came, I put on a dress I've had for a few years, combed my
hair and struck out over the bridge. I briefly stopped at my parent's house
to pet the dog. Then it was time. I walked up to that building a good hour
after the time suggested on the invitation. Everything was same, the gum on
the walls and the peeling green paint on the lockers. In front of the gym
there was a check-in table. Behind it sat a very pregnant Jeanette. I
handed her my invitation and she looked shocked. "Oh, you showed," she said
and then continued, "We had this bet, if you would respond or show, and
about what you're doing, I knew the tissues thing would get your attention."
I tried to be a good sport, "So, who won?"
"I did sort of, I won't part of it, because I said you would respond.
Kim won the other part because you'd have a job, I really thought you would
be homeless," she stated with a totally straight face.
"I don't know who Kim is," I replied as I put my shawl back on and
headed towards the door.
At first I was furious. A nasty remark from a girl I have never done
anything to. Completely unwarranted. Suddenly I was 14 with my straight
hair and my Doc Martens in a world of Bon Jovi and Cavariccis.
Then I realized when all is said and done, I'm way cooler than all of
them and they just can't deal with it. I have a cool job, I live in the
city, and my social life is like something they only watch on HBO. I guess
my mom was right all those years. They're just jealous. 5 years from now
when I start to wonder what happened to all those sweet people, I'll bag the
reunion and spend the $4 on the yearbook.
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# (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda098 .*. by Ione #
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