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## ## ### I S S U E # 0 6 5 0 5 - 2 3 - 0 0 ### ####
### # ### #######
#### ### "Alek vs. The Melvins" ###
####### by Alek
####
THE MELVINS:
King Buzzo: vocals, guitars
Dale Crover: drums
Various People: bass :)
many people, probably even YOU, have never even heard of the melvins.
what a shame this is. if you were/are a fan of nirvana and various other
"grunge bands", then you should thank the melvins for pretty much starting
the whole fandangled thing.
what's that you say alek, kurt cobain and nirvana aren't responsible
for the creation of grunge? sadly, no. what kurt cobain did though was
make grunge THE THING, even if it was for only like two years. but, alas,
it all started back in Aberdeen, Washington in the melvin's practice space.
ya see, kurt was a melvins, um groupie i guess. he and others like him
would make their way over to the melvins practice space every night, watch
the band practice, smoke some weed, and get fucking plastered. they were
dubbed "kling-ons" because, well, they were always fucking there. another
melvins "kling-on", was soon-to-be nirvana bassist chris novoselic, but
thats a whole other story for a whole other day.
anyhow, after awhile, kurt became more than just another one of the
"kling-ons" and he and the melvins became really good friends. in fact,
king buzzo (lead singer and guitarist of the melvins) is who got kurt into
punk. this is key because without this happening, music today would be
DRASTICALLY different. buzz gave kurt a compilation tape of various
California based punk bands such as flipper, black flag, millions of dead
cops, the angry Samoans, the circle jerks, and the germs. kurt was
instantly hooked and he was soon looking to form a punk band. kurt even
tried out for the melvins at a point, but he was so nervous, he just stood
there while his guitar wailed out horrific feed back. imagine how different
music would be right now if he hadnt been so nervous.
so, anyhow, fast forward about 5 years and nirvana get really big
which leads to every major label on god's green earth signing any band that
calls themselves grunge to very lucrative contract deal thing-a-ma-bobs.
this includes the melvins (who signed with atlantic), mudhoney, tad, stone
temple pearl jam, and the list goes on and on until the sun comes up. this
is significant because this is how i got into the melvins, which IS the
point of this big long ass essay. ya see, like bagillions of other 12 yr
old kids, i was obsessed with nirvana. so, when i read that kurt cobain was
producing (most of) the new album by the melvins, i knew i wanted it. so,
as soon as i got the funds, i bought the melvins major label debut, HOUDINI.
i was instantly a fan and have been buying anything by the band that i
possibly could until this very day.
so, if you have never heard of the melvins, i suggest picking up one
and then all the rest of their albums. because the great thing about the
band is that they are always trying to do something different. sometimes
this pisses off their fans, but it shows that the band is more than just
another grunge band and i think that's why they are still around while the
likes of soundgarden, alice in chains, nirvana, and the rest have
disappeared.
so, i have included the melvins discography below as well as a short
review for each that i own. i hope this was enough to spark some people's
interest in what is truly one of the most under-appreciated bands in music
today. i have not read this yet, so i also hope that it makes sense and its
not just ramblings that no one other than me will understand.
#.....#
GLUEY PORCH TREATMENTS (1986)
this album is fucking slow. no, you cant even fathom how slow this is. you
see, before this record was recorded, the melvins mostly played relatively
upbeat punk type stuff. then, they got popular and guess what? everyone
else started playing the same kind of shit as them. so what did they do?
they played as fucking slow as possible.
an example of just how slow this record is: i first heard this album when
my friend shawn bought it on vinyl. he comes over my house to play it. i
put it on and im like, man this is fucking slow and it sounds like buzz's
voice sounds sooo weird. about half way through the first side, i noticed
that i had left the turntable speed on 45 when it should have been on 33.
thats how fucking slow the music is on here. but guess what... it fucking
rules. its like someone playing black sabbath though a fucking tub of mud.
standout songs are: "Over From Under The Excrement," "Bitten Into
Sympathy,".
rating: 7
OZMA (1989)
i have never heard this album, but i do know that it is similar to GLUEY
PORCH TREATMENTS musically. you can also get this album along with GPT on
one cd. i plan on doing this soon. and so should you!
BULLHEAD (1990)
in my opinion, this is THE melvins album to have. it was great slow sludgy
stuff such as "Boris". but it also has some faster stuff such as "It's
Shoved". awesome awesome shit. if you dont like this album, you can suck
ass and like it!
rating: 10
EGGNOG (1991)
another one i dont have :(
LYSOL (1992)
this album is now called MELVINS. the band had to change the title after
Lysol threatened legal action. the only real problem i have with this album
is that its about 5 different songs but just one track on the disk and the
tracks arent listed at all. i do know however that there is a cover of
Flipper's "Sacrifice" on it as well as an alice cooper cover and i believe
the rest are originals. all the songs kick major ass though. the cover has
a horse on it has JOE in big letters on the back.
rating: 8
HOUDINI (1993)
the melvins major label debut produced (mostly) by kurt cobain. an awesome
album all the way through with standouts being: "Lizzy", "hooch", and "hag
me". kurt even plays some geetar on "sky pup" and does some percussion work
on "spread eagle beagle". i think he may have done some vocals on the album
too, but the liner notes dont credit him as doing so, so... i dunno :)
rating: 9
PRICK (1994)
i dont have this one but i heard it sucks a fat one so i'll wait to buy it
last :)
STONER WITCH (1994)
the melvins at their fastest thus far in their careers and also at the
beginnings of an experimental period. this album just rawks, plain and
simple. "sweet willy rollbar" is my favourite track on the album as it
rawks and rolls yr ass around the room. as does "revolve". "goose freight
train" is eerie. and the bass on "lividity" will rattle yr fucking brains.
rating: 9
STAG (1996)
the melvins last major label album. by this time, grunge was long dead and
record labels had grown impatient with "grunge" acts diminishing record
sales. so the melvins were dropped soon after this album failed to sell.
while it is an awesome album with some of my favourite melvins songs on it,
its just not as good as a whole as are HOUDINI and STONER WITCH.
"bar-x-the-rocking-m" is one of the albums best songs. it has some cool
horns in it, even though its pretty obvious that these horns are the product
of a keyboard :) lotsa weird experimental type shit on here as well such as
"black bock" and "goggles".
rating: 7
HONKY (1997)
the first post-major label album and its probably a good thing atlantic
dropped them when they did, cuz if they would have heard this, they would
have dropped them anyhow :)
now, i do like this album, but its not for everyone. a lot of people who
love the melvins hate this album cuz its so fucking weird. theres hardly
any singing on it too. "Mombius Hibachi" and "In the Freaktose the Bugs are
Dying" are great rawkin songs and the rest is rather odd to say the least
:)
rating: 7
SINGLES 1-12 (1998)
okay heres an idea. release one 7" a month for a year in limited release,
so all the melvins fans run out to get them while they're still around and
then, a few months later, put all the singles on a two disc set for 13
fucking bucks! id be pissed if i actually bought the singles. for one, i
would have gotten fucking ripped off. and 2, most of this album fucking
sucks. the only songs worth mentioning are a covers the germ's "lexicon
devil" and flipper's "way of the world" all the rest seems like annoying
shitty filler to me. oh, and it's not even available anymore (to my
knowledge).
rating: 4
THE MAGGOT (1999)
part one of three discs to be released in the year. this album fucking
rawks. it just rawks. its fast, its loud and it rawks. it rawks, yeah.
their best since BULLHEAD. the experimental stuff is no where to be found
here, just rawking songs. not a bad song on here.
rating: 9.5
THE BOOTLICKER (1999)
part 2 of 3...
this album is so utterly different from THE MAGGOT, its frightening.
theres like no distortion on this album and no screaming and most of it is
very subdued and, dare i say, POPPY. i feel dirty even thinking that, but
alas, its true, its true. but ya know what, it still sounds like the
melvins and it still kicks major ass, yo.
#.....#
please send some feedback and let me know if you all enjoyed this. i
plan on doing this for other bands, but if no one will read them then i wont
do them :)
and if everyone hit the back button awhile ago then i have a few
choice words: fuck, bitch, cunt, whore, slut, fucking fuckity fuck fuck
fuck.
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# (c)2000 aNAda e'zine aNAda065 .*. by Alek #
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