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Anada 030
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A A N N A A D D A A
A A N N N A A D D A A
A A N N N A A D D A A
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A A N N A A D D A A
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A "Cure The Chaos: Part 1" aNAda #30 A
A A
A by Big Daddy Bill 03/19/00 A
A A
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Introduction: Life
How dare she just sit there, he thought, and stare at me. Who does
she think I am? Am I here for her to point and laugh at, for her amusement?
Brian wondered all this and more in silence, his eyes glued to the
homework he was supposed to be doing in front of him on the lunchroom table.
This study hall was quiet, thankfully, and he was allowed a few brief
moments to himself before *she* interupted him, with her incessant, gougeful
staring. He would be able to concentrate, if only she'd stop looking at
him.
He started to subtley bounce the eraser end of his pencil against the
table, starring down at the numbers on the pages before him. They made no
sense to him for some reason, just numbers with symbols and words all
jumbled into one big runon math problem. All he knew was that she was
there, she was invading his life with her eyes, the portals into the soul
they say. Portals into hell is more like it, Brian muttered under his
tongue.
Idealogically speaking, Brian wasn't the most popular, or the most
attractive, or the smartest. He kept to himself, staying out of the other
kids' ways mostly, avoiding what confrontation he could. He wasn't afraid
of anything per se, he just didn't want to bother with it. He didn't have
many friends, or for that matter any enemies, either. Just this bitch, he
thought, this bitch who can't keep her eyes to herself. I can't concentrate
with her looking at me, he silently spoke to himself, all the while never
taking his eyes off the big pile of numbers and words on the page before
him.
Brian stood up noiselessly, all tension broke, and as he made a bee-
line for the Pepsi Machine in the back of the lunchroom, he took a casual
glance at "her". He walked behind her, as that was where the vending
machine was, and looked at the back of her head. His brow furrowed in
question, as he stood with the quarters between his fingers, poised at the
slot where the machine would graciously eat his money in exchange for a cold
beverage. Why isn't she looking at me now, he pondered, his eyes frozen on
the back of her head.
He studied the long, dark spiral of curls that hung from her head,
elegantly brushing the edges of her slender shoulders. Her head was at a
bow, as if she was looking at the book in front of her, but he knew what was
really on her mind.
"Mister Morrse!" a familiar voice boomed, "how long do you intend on
standing there, exactly?" The teacher was standing up, glaring over at
Brian, who stood stupidly behind the girl.
"Sorry, just.. uh.. gettin a soda" Brian stammered back, his face
turning red with imminent embarassment.
She turned her head to the side, he saw, as the coins clunked to the
hopper in the machine. It was his turn to stare, and he caught her looking
out of the corner of her eye. Instantly her eyes whipped forward, turning
her head straight again. He reached down slowly, glancing at the impeding
teacher, and clutched the cold cola to his chest.
Brian retreated back to his seat at the table, carefully cracking
open the can that held his carbonated savior. He took a long, cool drink,
feeling his throat burn with the cola goodness that he gulped down.
And then she started staring again.
{*****}
Lesson 1: You're Crazy
The locker next to him slammed shut, startling him out of his dazed
reverie. Brian looked over at the hulking jock next to him, who did not
return the gaze. Instead, the football captain turned his attention to the
things inside Brians locker: the pictures of his girlfriend, the locked
briefcase collecting dust at the bottom, and of course his academic
necessities. LeRoy "Ballz" Baalzetto was a big stupid asshole, and he often
loved to prove it.
"Who's that?" LeRoy referred to the picture of Kelly, Brian's
girlfriend, pasted to the inside of the locker door. "I think I fucked her
once... wrestled her around like I do my puppies at home." A high pitched
giggle came out of LeRoy's mouth following his lewd words, along with a slap
on Brian's back.
LeRoy turned and walked away, leaving Brian stunned and angry at his
locker bay. Brian swept his eyes down to the briefcase collecting dust at
the bottom of his locker, almost willfully. Motherfucking dickhead, Brian
silently cursed, his eyes glued to the black leather case, his mouth set in
a state of rage.
"Just chill man, he doesn't know you..." came the wise words of one
of Brian's only friends, Bradley. The slim kid cracked a smile at Brian,
combing his fingers through his long hair. "Fuck 'em." he added.
"Yeah, I know, but why the fuck does he gotta say something about
Kelly every goddamn day?" Brian questioned, his agitated tone apparent as he
closed his locker, his bookbag in hand, the cola he bought earlier in the
other. It was fifth hour, about the middle of the day. Brian was heading
to math.
"I dunno, just.. fuck 'em." That seemed to be all the advice that
Bradley could offer, as Brian left him standing there in the hallway by his
locker, skillfully disappearing into the bustling crowd.
In math class, Brian tried to sit still and pay attention, but there
was this uncomfortable vibe he felt in the room, as if someone were right
behind him, staring down at him in absolute hatred. Brian turned his head
and looked around, viewing the concentrating faces in turn, as they were all
testing. His eyes caught on to his neighbor, another member of the
"Brainless Brigade" as they were called around school. The sports jocks,
they're all alike, Brian thought. So fucking ignorant and yet so accepted,
Brian processed, a sneer on his face. He didn't even know this ones name,
and surely he didn't care.
Brian turned his eyes back down to his paper, taking a drink of the
soda he had set on his desk. When Brian set it back down, he felt more at
ease, the cold drink seemingly calming his nerves. That's when his
neighbor's foot shot out from under him, deftly kicking the leg of Brian's
desk. It shook the desk violently, thusly tipping the can that Brian set
back down. The contents spilling out, Brian gasped, but much too late. The
cola was all over his test paper, and now began to pour onto his lap. Brian
lept from his desk with such force that he knocked his desk over, as his
neighbor began to laugh hysterically. Everyone in the classroom turned,
their eyes on Brian and his wet crotch, and Brian was met with a wave of
congratulatory applause and cheering. Others were chuckling, some
snickering, some just staring, but Brian saw them all as his mockers.
Brian remained cemented to the ground, seemingly not hearing the
teacher shouting to get the attention of the class, or her orders for Brian
to get a towel. All Brian heard was his heartbeat in his ears, his eyes
locked on the large puddle on the floor that was his soda, the can tilted
and still burping out its brown fizzy insides. Brian shook his head slowly
and backed from the classroom.
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{ (c)2000 aNAda e'zine * * aNAda030 * by Big Daddy Bill }
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