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Anada 026
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A A N N A A D D A A
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A "Stream of Unconsciousness" aNAda #26 A
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A by Effy 03/19/00 A
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All I could remember from the ride in the blue bus was that it seemed
like a hazy, sunlit eternity where everything hurt my eyes and seemed to
echo in my ears repeatedly. It was horrific wonder, almost the most awesome
fear. Inanimate things moved without human aid. Crazy.
God spoke to me somehow. Or rather, he screamed in my ear. Now I
can only hear in mono. I work for 10k a year making cappuccino in styrofoam
cups. We're not as bad as those friggin' bastards who cut down entire
rainforests and destroy every element of ancient culture that aren't like
their freakish souls! We are more subltey contributing to the demise of the
human race so thus we someday will never again have to worry about the
ghastly possibility of being reincarnated as a filthy, pasty, reeking mass
of human flesh, feeding upon the sorrows and joys of each others, and having
faith in something only to place the illusion upon their situation that
there was some actual purpose to their existence, that they were better than
any other living creature that walked the earth...
The only amusing thing about being a music tech student in the same
building as an american cancer society is that they quickly grow to hate
you, but make it apparent to you slowly over time, each month becoming a bit
more hostile, until they give up on trying to make you stop blasting the
music so loud, smoking in groups of half a dozen under their office, and
hitting their windows with frisbees.
64. What kind of conversation do you expect to have with the
following nicknames all together in a chatroom?
1. Sexy Red Hed
2. sPORK dork
3. Harry
4 Peter
5. dOHnut
Ew! You shouldn't talk about that. It's nasty, and icky, and it's
even worse than poo. Now you don't like poo, do you? Wouldn't people think
you were evil if you indulged in feces? It's the exact same thing. If you
bring this up again, I will have to get my bodyguard to force your head into
a toilet in a public restroom and drink from the resting place of the Crap.
All around me were pastures of young green cornstalks. My tongue was
huge. I tried to speak and realized I was a cow. Moo.
An entire chorus of events happened without delay, in just a
millisecond;their entire contents reverberating against a warmth of
something continous in nature... it's not cool to crack jokes about record
engineering, because nobody who claims to be cool understands them anyway.
I'm covered in milk. Where did it come from? The sky? The gods?
Your mom? Ahahahaha, you said Mom! MOM. My mom has a p.H.D. in pHOAM.
Nothing is really pH balanced, you know. Not even your oh-so-sure
deodorant. Fuck 'em. Fuck 'em all. Nothing but fruit matters anymore. I
am the Great Gregarious Grape.
Seems I got a bit off subject...where was I? Hmm...Oh yes! I am a
piece of cheese, and someone is eating me! I am a bud and someone is
smoking me! I am a cow and tom green is milking me! I am a toilet and
someone is pissing in me! I am a red door and someone is painting me black!
Paint me black! I am everything and no one believes in me! What am I now?
Am I God? Or am I just you? Vomit. Toilet. I am just the Toilet. Tubby.
I drink piss, and shit, and even puke. Sometimes I puke the piss, shit, and
puke back up when they try to stuff napkins down my throat.
(Mr. Toilet, you are positively disgusting. You're fired.)
67 1/2. What were T.S. Eliot's last words?
1. "I'll never know what will happen if I dared to eat
a peach."
2. "I have to tell you now ... I have never been
to the dead land ... the cactus land ..."
3. "Mr. Mistoffeles the Cat was really a Miss."
4. "Did you ever realize that if my alias
was T. Eliot instead of T.S. Eliot, if you
spelled T. Eliot backwards it would spell TOILET?"
5. "I don't believe in no mermaids."
74 1/8. What were Edgar Allan Poe's last words?
1. "Hand me that bottle."
2. "Hand me that pipe."
3. "Kill me."
4. "You know what my name in Ebonics
means...'police'..."
5. All of the above
We were swaying... back... and forth... back... and forth... and
forth... and back... and suddenly in all directions possible, and many more
we had never dreamed of before... in the back of the blue bus... blue...
like the sky above... like a robin's egg... like Monday... my moon-flavored
ice cream... fruit loops...
Crazy... get off my train.
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{ (c)2000 aNAda e'zine * * aNAda026 * by Effy }
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