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NuKE Issue 06-003
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Volume 1, Issue 6, May 1993
NuKE Info-Journal #6
NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE
uK E-
KE "National Computer Security Association (NCSA) -N
E- Cover Report" Nu
-N uK
Nu By KE
uK Throbbing Grisle E-
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E-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-NuKE-Nu
% NCSA San Francisco Conference January 1993 %
Yes, that's right, I got in at the National Computer Security Association's
Conference pertaining to computer security in general and viruses in
particular. Thanks goes out to my University professor for giving me his
unwanted complimentary tickets (way to go, Les!). Since I was on semester
break, I called my friend C.K. and we were off, to what is affectionately
known in the bay area as, "The City."
This would not be that big of deal, except that the list of speakers reads
like a who's who of the anti-viral industry. We started off with a
lecture by the Man himself, Mr. John McAfee.
What can we say about this guy? Well, we noticed that John is like the
Hugh Hefner of the AV (AntiVirus) world. He comes in very well dressed,
very confident, and can get away with saying the most inaccurate pieces
of crap and the crowd eats it up like its ice cream! At one point in his
lecture, John stated that the Dir II virus "infects the FAT". Huh?!?!
Tell the truth, John. You ain't no programmer. When was the last time you
typed in "#include <stdio.h>"? Bet you never have.
But the ironic thing about the whole show is that there are guys there who
know way more about viruses, even have better products out on the market, but
who aren't nearly as successful. Does that mean there was McAfee bashing
going on? Naw...no resentment here! [NOT]
The next lecture C.K. and I went to ,a long and greasy brunch, was
David Stang. "David Who?" you might ask? Well, I never heard of him before
either, but he claims to have started the NCSA (wow - what an accomplishment)
and then left it (left or kicked out?) but comes back to give lectures
(no hard feelings, right?) Well, anyway, he was there to sell his Virus
Analysis Machine, which consisted of the same ol' bait files, a little bit
of checking (where is the code placed??), and then it runs the file through
Sourcer. I would have thought he could have written his own disassembler, one
specifically for viruses. We decided that it would not even be worth pirating.
You can bet the other programmers in the audience thought the same thing.
Well, we decided to wrap up the days festivities (before going out into the
San Francisco night to party) by attending Alan Soloman's lecture. He is
the good doctor from Doctor Soloman's Anti-Virus Tool Kit. This guy is the
kind of Brit that would extract a fee from the US and Canada for using the
English Language. Tight? You probably couldn't get dental floss through his
`arsehole.' He gets up there waving his arm, making snide comments about
everybody and everything (with side implications to McAfee; I get the feeling
these two would not make good roommates). Then he talks about CARO, being the
`Saviour of the world.'
CARO, from what I could gather from the conference, is a group of virus
researcher that happens to include Alan Soloman and Fridrik Skulason (maker
of F-Prot AntiVirus). The way these guys talk about their group, I though I
was listening to a YAM conference! They really think their group has made a
Difference and they are the only protectors against viruses that matter. I
turned to a very attractive girl who was sitting nearby (must have been from
Marketing) and asked, "Is McAfee part of CARO?", to which she rolled her
eyes and said, "Are you kidding? They hate each other."
With these amazing memories etched in our minds, we wandered out into the
harsh city for a night of over-indulgence. So much so, we couldn't get up
the next day until noon (well, we _were_ on semester break!) We made it up
for the middle of someone's else's lecture (I can't remember whom it was -
he had an accent and spoke about how to disassemble viruses. Did I learn
anything? Did I care?)
Okay, we found that boring enough so we went to the exhibit. Did you know
people are still working on hardware solutions for viruses? The girl was
pretty cute at the booth, so I became overly interested in their shitty
product, asking questions like "Gee, so I wouldn't need any updates?"
"Oh no, not with our product", she purred. Yeah, Right.
Then we went to a panel discussion where the Good Dr. Soloman, and three
other guys were talking about the teenage personality distortion patterns
of the virus writer/hacker. Nothing new here. We're all suicidal virgins,
y'know. (Even though many of use are married with kids, and I presume the
rest did pass their puberty stage. Come on, where you getting this info?)
The last seminar was given by Fridrik Skulason. This guy is all the way
from Iceland. (Iceland? They have computers up there? Better yet, `When
did they learn to type?') If Soloman is the Arch Enemy of McAfee, Skulason
would have been McAfee in an anti-matter universe. What the hell does that
mean? It means that McAfee is dark, tall and slim. Fridrik is pale, blond
and puggy. McAfee is an effective speaker (Imposing his Reign of Error);
Fridrik is quiet. I mean _real_ quiet. C.K. wanted to set the guy on fire
just to see if he could let out a loud yell. John McAfee has Charisma!
Fridrik has facts and knows what the hell he is talking about. (Big Deal? huh?)
So here is what I could conclude from the conference;
a) AntiVirus is a big business, McAfee still is the heavyweight champ, but
there are a lot of contenders out there that want to knock out the chump,
er, champ. However, there is a fallout coming, where only the strong will
survive. It is not a time or place for a company to start any more; XTREE's
resent failure was sited as an example of that.
b) The AntiVirus would is much more `clickish' than I would have thought. Kind
of reminds me of high school. Some people won't talk to others. Amusing.
c) The AntiVirus world is scared. The sheer of new viruses is increasing
exponentially, overtaking some scanners. VCL was mentioned, as well as
MPC as the new trend that threatens the AV developer. A fall out is
predicted in this business.
Any last parting shots? You Bet!
David Stang: Have you ever thought of selling real estate?
Fridrik Skulason: Try charging a little more for F-Prot and take a vacation;
you need the sun.
John McAfee: Keep making VIRUSHAM, but sock the money away. Your days are
numbered.
Throbbing Grisle
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