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Pure Bollocks Issue 22_061
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* F I C T I O N A L * R A M B L I N G S *
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PHOWARD EN=TRANCIFER HYPERGEN PRO=GRESS PHOREVER
(or just simply THE "MR C" SONG)
A little rap ditty to be done in the voice of a jokey little cockney prick,with
occasional nasally- based singing of some Edinburgh twerp. Oh and if you can
get a decent singer along as well, otherwise settling for the ramblings of
some old person that's currently in vogue with New Age Hippies. Music just to
be a standard "DUM...DUM... DUM... DUM... DUM... DUM...etc." with some
unidentifiable notes from crappy fuzzy gated electric guitar strumming.
ANGUS: PHOWARD EN=TRANCIFER HYPERGEN PRO=GRESS PHOREVER, YEA- HEY! etc., etc.
MR C: Wanna know about this guy who really makes me sick?
It's cause he thinks he is a cool one but really is a prick.
His friends call him C-zer, he's a really shit geeza,
He raps like a madman, and he's thick as a brick.
A forwards and a backwards, all around and back down,
Mr C raps and moves like he wantsa put down.
But since he's also a member of the Shamen,
That's why he can move any mountain!
Mr C, Mr C, get out of this house!
Mr C, Mr C, are you a man or a mouse?
Mr C, Mr C, you ain't got no class!
Mr C, Mr C, you're a pain in the arse!
HAS ANYONE GOT A RECORD CONTRACT?.... LAAAAAAVLY!
ANGUS: PHOWARD EN=TRANCIFER HYPERGEN PRO=GRESS PHOREVER, YEA- HEY! etc., etc.
PHILOSPHER:
Relax and drift into the blue cloud until you can see the Green Crystal
of Truth, then pick it up, and then drift into the purple cloud and
deposit it at the turqoise Temple of Thought. For extra bonus points,
you can slay the Dragon of Synergy at the back of the Temple with the
Sword of Energy, but you don't have to do this finish Level 2.
MR C: Mr C looks like he's completely on E's, know what I mean?
(Sid James laugh).
He created a vibe-
Crowd think "Chuck this nutter over the fence".
Ooh, it's comin' on like a seventh sense!
Mysterious goon, this Mr C loon,
His eye's are so black he looks like a racoon!
If he ever see's yah, make sure you scream and
Run into a crowd and they'll shout out loud:
Mr C, Mr C, get out of this house!
Mr C, Mr C, are you a man or a mouse?
Mr C, Mr C, you ain't got no class!
Mr C, Mr C, you're a pain in the arse!
ANGUS: PHOWARD EN=TRANCIFER HYPERGEN PRO=GRESS PHOREVER, YEA- HEY! etc., etc.
CROWD: C's no good, C's no good- we'd rather take E's, we would!
C's no good, C's no good- we'd rather take E's, we would!
C's no good, C's no good- we'd rather take E's, we would!
...
to fade...
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