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Pure Bollocks Issue 21_004
PRODUCTIONS FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE PRESENT
"SAD CASE OF THE YEAR"- THE DEBATE
[Scene: A plush well-fitted discussion room studio in Radio Pure Bollocks
FM. Around the circular table are terminals connected to Fidonet
points of all the Fidonet users involved. At the head of the table
are CHRIS BAILLIES and GENIE (the presenter).]
VOICE: Now we go over to studio 4 for some after-awards discussion in a
special edition of "Genie's Pool".
[Title music, which soon fades.]
GENIE: Hello and welcome to a very special edition of "Genie's Pool", held
after the "Sad Case of the Year" awards. In the studio, we have the
winner of that award, Mr Chris Baillies. Hello Chris, and
congratulations upon winning your award. Apparently the judges had a
hard time deciding between you and Aaron Smithies.
CHRIS: Yes, but so what, I think I had the edge, and when it comes down to
that, that's perfectly adequate.
GENIE: Yes, well we'll soon be hearing that "edge" which won you the award
when we re-unite you with the people which were with you as you made
your name for being lame. [Pause for "Genie Pool" jingle] Chris
started his meteoric rise to fame by claiming that the sound of the
Amiga's 4 channel 8 bit Paula was perfectly adequate, even compared
to the 16 bit 8 channel Falcon DMA sound.
CHRIS: Well, it is better than the PC cards!
GENIE: Hmmmm... yes, but then you went on about how Commodore is developing
a new 16 channel Paula chip.
CHRIS: [Butting in] It'll be ready just in time for their new Amigas.
GENIE: [Embarrased pause] Yes. Well, now we are going to end this
completely fictionalised account of the events so far and go live
onto the Fidonet "AtariST" message area. Please note that all the
comments from the these users are their own words and none of them
are made up. So, [Looking at VDU screen] we have our first
participant, MICHAEL JAMES. Hello Michael, what do you make of
Chris' arguments about the adequacy of the Paula sounchip?
MICHAEL: Very compelling argument. The Paula chip is better than the PC cards
but the Falcon sounds even better! And if you say 'so what' to that,
then go and program a ZX81 and learn the meaning of progress.
CHRIS: So what.... [Howls from other users]
MICHAEL: GO AND PROGRAM A ZX81 AND LEARN THE MEANING OF PROGRESS!
CHRIS: So what, there's sound and there's USEFUL sound...
GENIE: [Aside] Huh?
CHRIS: Where might I ask do you make room for all those hefty 16bit 44Khz
sound samples?
MICHAEL: Mmmmm.... That doesn't neccessarily mean that you have to have an
inferior soundchip, but you make a fair point about the issue of
sample size. The 1 meg Falcon is definately too small for decent
samples. Mind you the 1 meg Falcon is too small for any serious
programmer! (I know 1 meg is too small for me, and I've got an FM!)
This is going to be a problem with Commodore's 16 channel Paula as
well, because I can't expect that the maximum amount of sampled
instruments in 16 channel mods to be 32!! ...... And anyway, why do
Amiga owners need a 16 channel Paula, the one they've got is better
than PC cards!
CHRIS: To keep ahead of the competition, why else?
GENIE: [Sighing a "Doesn't lamer realize that he's just killed his own
argument off?" type of sigh] Oh my goodness, I wish I hadn't started
this DOC now. There's loads of people wanting to respond to that
point. Let me introduce STEVEN LLOYD, MIKE MYERS, MICHAEL SMITH, and
PASCAL HAAKMAT. Hello Pascal, don't you think of Chris' point about
no space for big samples on the Falcon?
PASCAL: This is, of course, nonsense. Where do you make room for 24-bit
color images? I mean, progress is lovely ...
GENIE: Oh, you're talking about the Amiga A1200 now. Yes, it's got big 24-
bit colour images, and the disk drive still only has an 800K
capacity! At least the Falcon has a 1.4 meg drive! Hello, Steven,
have you got anything to say to Chris' point about sample size?
STEVEN: [To Chris] You should know that by looping samples its possible to
produce some really good sounds in a small amount of storage space.
Its also possible to compress samples quite effectively, so again
storage space is saved. Oh, and 8-bit sound is not USEFUL sound, it
sounds awful....
CHRIS: [To Steve] What do you take me for? All I'm saying is that for most
purposes 8bit is perfectly adequate, only in the area of direct-to-
disk recording would 16bit be a necessity.
GENIE: Can I stop you two there, because Michael Smith is also wanting to
say his piece as well, and also I'm beginning to feel nauseous at
the lameness of your argument already Chris. Anyway- what do you
think, Michael?
M SMITH: [laughs] You know, this is the 'standard' amiga-user argument when
they are faced with the 16-bit codec setup... [To Chris] Listen,
lamebrain....
CHRIS: I resent that!
[Genie falls off chair laughing. Michael Smith continues.]
M SMITH: Entirely apart from the fact that there are sound compression
algorithms for the DSP that will (un-) compress sound signals by 70-
80%, and take <5% of its processing time for 50KHz 16-bit stereo,
you don't HAVE to use all 16 bits.
CHRIS: Well not everyone needs one, and for entertainment purposes a
development of Paula would be better.
M SMITH: [laugh] You really don't know what you're on about, do you? The SDMA
(imagine a bigger version of Paula) is completely seperate from the
DSP - you can do 8-voice polyphonic 16-bit stereo at 50KHz without
having to write a single byte of DSP code.
MICHAEL: Intrestingly enough, does the A1200 have a DSP, or a space for a
DSP? [MIKE MYERS butts in...]
MIKE M: Nope.
MICHAEL: So you'll have to pay extra on top of the already inflated price for
what the Falcon already has installed as standard? Especially as the
DSP appears to be the most talked about part of the machine!
CHRIS: Why should people pay for a DSP if they have no use for one... And
no, its not a cop out!
GENIE: Sounds like one from here...
MICHAEL: Well, I wasn't really talking about the use of the DSP exclusively
in terms of Falcon sound capabilities, although it is pretty useful.
The reason that people are talking so much about the DSP is the
speed of it's processing, and the uses of that speed in conjuction
with it's digital processing facilities. Oh, by the way, I notice
you say 'consumer orientated' rather than 'games machine'. Nice
touch.
CHRIS: Ha Ha Well the Falcon doesn't seem to make pretentions to being
anything other than a games machine with its ST case and good sound
hardware. Even Atari admitted its the market they want to crack.
M SMITH: Umm. They did? Personal multimedia - you know, interactive
education, videophones, Kodak want to use them in their 'instant
slide' machines too. Sure, they'll make great games units - I can't
wait for Steel Talons, but there's a much bigger market there than
there is for, say, the A1200. (snicker)
STEVE: Er, why does the case design and sound capability make the Falcon a
games machine? Besides, the case will be redesigned soon.
PASCAL: Oh come on! It's just the same thing as some 7 years ago: Commodore
releases the Amiga, and all ST-coders say: "What a lame machine!
There's nothing to code no more, the chips do everything for you!".
Now Atari releases the Falcon and all Amy dudes go haywire:
"Whaddaya need a DSP for? 16-bit sound is UUUUSSSELESS!!".
CHRIS: So What? I probably won't buy either, the Amiga's too expensive, and
the Atari won't succeed, because well, its an Atari. PC's are the
way to go, I've got two, much cheaper to upgrade and plenty of
software.
M SMITH: This.. really shows how ignorant you are. PC's are _going_.
STEVE: I laugh at the stupidity and puerile (look it up in a dictionary)
nature of people who write things like you do.
CHRIS: Why bother replying then? Some people....!
GENIE: Why bother living at all then Chris you utter lamer?!?!
M SMITH: Incindentally, I don't call Paula's implementation of sound 'useful'
- it's just another 8-bit joke.
CHRIS: It sounds ok to me.
GENIE: That's what owning an Amiga does to you!
M SMITH: And btw the DSP costs < $10 in the sort of quantities atari are
buying.
STEVE: I think you'll find there's a noticeable difference between 8-bit
and 16-bit samples. 8-bit may well be sufficient for many purposes,
but 16-bit samples sound much more polished. Once upon a time people
slagged off the ST's pathetic sound chip (and rightly so in my
opinion). Now that a machine is becoming available with excellent
sound capability it seems that it's getting knocked for being too
good.
CHRIS: The Atari's niche is music, so its not surprising Atari included
a DSP. But I'm not a musician, so why should I pay extra for
something I don't need? Maybe you do need such a device.
MICHAEL: Hold on Chris, you're getting the DSP and DMA parts mixed up again!
CHRIS: Hey, I do know what a DSP is, simply a microprocessor geared towards
processing sound.....
MARK: Sorry, you don't know what a DSP is! It is a microprocessor geared
towards processing digital signals.....
GENIE: Hence the name Digital Signal Processor, I guess. This guy's so lame
I just wanna cry..... Oh and we've got MARK BAINES and KEITH JACKSON
online now. <Sob>
MARK: ... What form those signals take is up to you and your ADC - video,
sound, modem/telephone tones...
CHRIS: I mentioned it because it USUALLY goes hand in hand with 16bit DMA
hardware...
MICHAEL: Well, they -can- go hand in hand if programmers want them to, but
they don't have to!
MIKE M: The DSP can be used to EFFECT sound, for example Surround Sound
techniques, Noise Reduction, .... But its a proccessor so can do
really anything you want, graphics manipulation, mathscalculations,
3D effects..
CHRIS: Err.. At least I can walk in a shop and BUY an A1200...
GENIE: <Snicker> Is a PC not quite bad enough?
STEVE: Nobody said that Atari's marketing philosophy is good! There will
surely be some people who will go and buy an A1200 today because
they think its the cat pyjamas in home computing, but many of the
more mature users will hold on to see what else is coming. The 32-
bit home computer market is still in its infancy.
CHRIS: So whats Atari going to do now? They had their chance and ruined it
by hype and delays, the Falcon won't stand a chance, whatever the
virtues of its sound hardware.
GENIE: Typical Amiga lamer- always obsessed with sound!
MIKE M: Who cares what Atari do I just wish you would F*** off !
KEITH: I'll second that Mike !! What is this guys problem ? You'd think
from his attitude that an ST killed all his relatives, slept with
his girlfriend and then threw up on him in the pub ! I'm the
Business Centre Manager at Dixons in Mansfield and the level of
interest in the A1200 (in that store at least) has been zero. I get
around eight enquiries a day about the Falcon ! The general
consensus from fed up Amoeba owners wanting to upgrade is that they
are fed up with CBM bringing out new machines and just dropping
support for the old ones. If I have a problem with a customer who
has an old ST (TOS on disk etc) then at least Atari Uk will talk to
me - I wish the same could be said of CBM when confronted with an
A500 problem ....
MIKE M: You ever tried using Workbench/dos- aaarrrrggggh!!!
MICHAEL: I have tried using version 1 of Amiga Workbench, and I wasn't to
impressed to be honest. I haven't seen version 2 soon I can't say
that much about it.
CHRIS: Actually its very nice, easy to use, fast, and good looking. But
don't knock Workbench 1.x, as an environment it was far more usable
than GEM, you could do more with it, more configurable. Even V1.0
had features GEM lacked until VERY recently. Only in high-res mono
was GEM palettable.
GENIE: Hi-res 'palettable'? More 'useable'? Chris, do you know what the
fuck you are talking about?
CHRIS: Now, disk based OS's, I'm all for them! They make upgrading so much
quicker and cheaper, but the implementation could make a
difference. As an example my Amiga A1000..... [Drowned in general
groans from other users...]
GENIE: I hear NICK BIRD is online now. <Sob>
MICHAEL: Incidentelly, what are you doing on this echo? There is an echo for
Amiga users you know...
CHRIS: Heheehhehehe I like it! Seriously big chip on your shoulder or what!
STEVE: Isn't that an instance of the pot calling the kettle black?
CHRIS: Not really. Anyway, I just write this drivel to stir people up.
Nothing wrong with a good healthy debate..
MIKE M: Not really you -Just- slag owt thats Atari face it!!!!!
CHRIS: Come on, don't be so serious! I was just trying to wind up a few
Atari users who seem so full of themselves.
MICHAEL: What? You freely admit to writing messages just to wind ST users
up??!?! Sorry Chris, but I don't think anyone's taking you seriously
now!
NICK: Sorry Michael ! No-one -ever- took him seriously !!
MICHAEL: Just winding him up...
GENIE: <Sniff> Chris, what's that on your tagline?
[Looks at tagline which says:
'* SLMR 2.1a * Dead people are cool.']
GENIE: .... Hmmmmmm......
[Fade lights.]
THE END.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
<Genie!>
11/1/93.
