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Pure Bollocks Online Vol 104
>From an18359@anon.penet.fi Fri Jan 14 16:39:34 EST 1994
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V O L U M E * 1 0 4
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Released 22nd Dec 1993
Wahey! Christmas issue!!
=================================================================
The opinions expressed by some of the writers are not necessarily those of all
the PURE BOLLOCKS editorial team. The individual writers retain their own
copyrights. This magazine may be freely spread for non-profit purposes only.
We're not to be held responsible for how people use or mis-use the information
in this magazine. Details of how to contact us are at the end of this file.
* NOTE * IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE ODD SWEARWORD, THEN YOU'RE IN A BIT OF
TROUBLE HERE, I GUESS!
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THIS will be the last issue of 1993! I'm going to enjoy Christmas. Well, as
much as I can in this terrible weather. The streets around my house have a thin
but deadly layer of ice on them. One good thing though- the sun has got it's
hat on! So I've been outside taking a few photographs here and there.... For
what indeed you may ask! Well, a few of us are thinking of putting together a
pilot print-only special edition of PB Online. Obviously, we're not going to
spend any money on loads of expensive printing. However, we are going to be
making some use of other peoples computers in putting together this edition! It
should have quite a lot of the sort of content in this zine, but nicely put
together, and with pictures! If anyone is interested, please contact us. If
enough people are interested, the "special" will probably appear around Spring.
Someone has recently asked me about subscribing to PBO. Oh dear. Please
remember I'm sending from a crap outdated system that's about to be de-
comissioned this July! I've also (probably) will have graduated, so I'll have
probably worked out where to go next, and it'll probably cost a bit, so maybe
I'll have worked out ideas for subscription by then!
In the meantime, have a happy festive season!
<Genie!>
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01 - SADCASE OF THE YEAR 1992 - PB's "special" award for sadcases looks at
an interesting exchange of views in the Fidonet!
02 - HACKING ANSWERPHONES - You can have an awful lot of phun with a TT
dialler and someone else's answering machine, according to "6025"!
03 - COMPLETE TRASH FROM NETWORK TRASH CHAPTERS 2-4! - Who is Zog? Where are
the Trashers? What is the meaning of life? Our Network Trash story
continues....
END - Where we're at- literally! If you want to contact us, get the ST
version of PB Diskmag and/or the ASCII version, then you could do worse
than read this bit.
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PRODUCTIONS FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE PRESENT
"SAD CASE OF THE YEAR 1992"- THE DEBATE
[Scene: A plush well-fitted discussion room studio in Radio Pure Bollocks
FM. Around the circular table are terminals connected to Fidonet
points of all the Fidonet users involved. At the head of the table
are CHRIS BAILLIES and GENIE (the presenter).]
VOICE: Now we go over to studio 4 for some after-awards discussion in a
special edition of "Genie's Pool".
[Title music, which soon fades.]
GENIE: Hello and welcome to a very special edition of "Genie's Pool", held
after the "Sad Case of the Year" awards. In the studio, we have the
winner of that award, Mr Chris Baillies. Hello Chris, and
congratulations upon winning your award. Apparently the judges had
a hard time deciding between you and Aaron Smithies.
CHRIS: Yes, but so what, I think I had the edge, and when it comes down to
that, that's perfectly adequate.
GENIE: Yes, well we'll soon be hearing that "edge" which won you the award
when we re-unite you with the people which were with you as you
made your name for being lame. [Pause for "Genie Pool" jingle]
Chris started his meteoric rise to fame by claiming that the sound
of the Amiga's 4 channel 8 bit Paula was perfectly adequate, even
compared to the 16 bit 8 channel Falcon DMA sound.
CHRIS: Well, it is better than the PC cards!
GENIE: Hmmmm... yes, but then you went on about how Commodore is
developing a new 16 channel Paula chip.
CHRIS: [Butting in] It'll be ready just in time for their new Amigas.
GENIE: [Embarrased pause] Yes. Well, now we are going to end this
completely fictionalised account of the events so far and go live
onto the Fidonet "AtariST" message area. Please note that all the
comments from the these users are their own words and none of them
are made up. So, [Looking at VDU screen] we have our first
participant, MICHAEL JAMES. Hello Michael, what do you make of
Chris' arguments about the adequacy of the Paula sounchip?
MICHAEL: Very compelling argument. The Paula chip is better than the PC
cards but the Falcon sounds even better! And if you say 'so what'
to that, then go and program a ZX81 and learn the meaning of
progress.
CHRIS: So what.... [Howls from other users]
MICHAEL: GO AND PROGRAM A ZX81 AND LEARN THE MEANING OF PROGRESS!
CHRIS: So what, there's sound and there's USEFUL sound...
GENIE: [Aside] Huh?
CHRIS: Where might I ask do you make room for all those hefty 16bit 44Khz
sound samples?
MICHAEL: Mmmmm.... That doesn't neccessarily mean that you have to have
an inferior soundchip, but you make a fair point about the issue
of sample size. The 1 meg Falcon is definately too small for
decent samples. Mind you the 1 meg Falcon is too small for any
serious programmer! (I know 1 meg is too small for me, and I've got
an FM!) This is going to be a problem with Commodore's 16 channel
Paula as well, because I can't expect that the maximum amount of
sampled instruments in 16 channel mods to be 32!! ...... And
anyway, why do Amiga owners need a 16 channel Paula, the one
they've got is better than PC cards!
CHRIS: To keep ahead of the competition, why else?
GENIE: [Sighing a "Doesn't lamer realize that he's just killed his
own argument off?" type of sigh] Oh my goodness, I wish I hadn't
started this DOC now. There's loads of people wanting to respond
to that point. Let me introduce STEVEN LLOYD, MIKE MYERS, MICHAEL
SMITH, and PASCAL HAAKMAT. Hello Pascal, don't you think of Chris'
point about no space for big samples on the Falcon?
PASCAL: This is, of course, nonsense. Where do you make room for 24-
bit color images? I mean, progress is lovely ...
GENIE: Oh, you're talking about the Amiga A1200 now. Yes, it's got big
24- bit colour images, and the disk drive still only has an 800K
capacity! At least the Falcon has a 1.4 meg drive! Hello,
Steven, have you got anything to say to Chris' point about sample
size?
STEVEN: [To Chris] You should know that by looping samples its possible
to produce some really good sounds in a small amount of storage
space. Its also possible to compress samples quite effectively, so
again storage space is saved. Oh, and 8-bit sound is not USEFUL
sound, it sounds awful....
CHRIS: [To Steve] What do you take me for? All I'm saying is that for
most purposes 8bit is perfectly adequate, only in the area of
direct-to-disk recording would 16bit be a necessity.
GENIE: Can I stop you two there, because Michael Smith is also wanting
to say his piece as well, and also I'm beginning to feel nauseous
at the lameness of your argument already Chris. Anyway- what do
you think, Michael?
M SMITH: [laughs] You know, this is the 'standard' amiga-user argument when
they are faced with the 16-bit codec setup... [To Chris] Listen,
lamebrain....
CHRIS: I resent that!
[Genie falls off chair laughing. Michael Smith continues.]
M SMITH: Entirely apart from the fact that there are sound compression
algorithms for the DSP that will (un-) compress sound signals by
70-80%, and take <5% of its processing time for 50KHz 16-bit
stereo, you don't HAVE to use all 16 bits.
CHRIS: Well not everyone needs one, and for entertainment purposes a
development of Paula would be better.
M SMITH: [laugh] You really don't know what you're on about, do you? The
SDMA (imagine a bigger version of Paula) is completely seperate
from the DSP - you can do 8-voice polyphonic 16-bit stereo at 50KHz
without having to write a single byte of DSP code.
MICHAEL: Intrestingly enough, does the A1200 have a DSP, or a space for a
DSP? [MIKE MYERS butts in...]
MIKE M: Nope. [It does have space for a DSP board. <Genie!>]
MICHAEL: So you'll have to pay extra on top of the already inflated price
for what the Falcon already has installed as standard? Especially
as the DSP appears to be the most talked about part of the
machine!
CHRIS: Why should people pay for a DSP if they have no use for one... And
no, its not a cop out!
GENIE: Sounds like one from here...
MICHAEL: Well, I wasn't really talking about the use of the DSP exclusively
in terms of Falcon sound capabilities, although it is pretty
useful. The reason that people are talking so much about the DSP
is the speed of it's processing, and the uses of that speed in
conjuction with it's digital processing facilities. Oh, by the way,
I notice you say 'consumer orientated' rather than 'games
machine'. Nice touch.
CHRIS: Ha Ha Well the Falcon doesn't seem to make pretentions to being
anything other than a games machine with its ST case and good
sound hardware. Even Atari admitted its the market they want to
crack.
M SMITH: Umm. They did? Personal multimedia - you know, interactive
education, videophones, Kodak want to use them in their 'instant
slide' machines too. Sure, they'll make great games units - I
can't wait for Steel Talons, [Bad move! <Genie!>] but there's a
much bigger market there than there is for, say, the A1200.
(snicker)
STEVE: Er, why does the case design and sound capability make the Falcon a
games machine? Besides, the case will be redesigned soon.
PASCAL: Oh come on! It's just the same thing as some 7 years ago: Commodore
releases the Amiga, and all ST-coders say: "What a lame machine!
There's nothing to code no more, the chips do everything for you!".
Now Atari releases the Falcon and all Amy dudes go haywire:
"Whaddaya need a DSP for? 16-bit sound is UUUUSSSELESS!!".
CHRIS: So What? I probably won't buy either, the Amiga's too expensive,
and the Atari won't succeed, because well, its an Atari. PC's are
the way to go, I've got two, much cheaper to upgrade and plenty of
software.
M SMITH: This.. really shows how ignorant you are. PC's are _going_.
STEVE: I laugh at the stupidity and puerile (look it up in a dictionary)
nature of people who write things like you do.
CHRIS: Why bother replying then? Some people....!
GENIE: Why bother living at all then Chris you utter lamer?!?!
M SMITH: Incindentally, I don't call Paula's implementation of sound
'useful' - it's just another 8-bit joke.
CHRIS: It sounds ok to me.
GENIE: That's what owning an Amiga does to you! [It may also be because
the Paula chip has a built-in filter! <Genie!>]
M SMITH: And btw the DSP costs < $10 in the sort of quantities atari are
buying.
STEVE: I think you'll find there's a noticeable difference between 8-bit
and 16-bit samples. 8-bit may well be sufficient for many purposes,
but 16-bit samples sound much more polished. Once upon a time
people slagged off the ST's pathetic sound chip (and rightly so
in my opinion). Now that a machine is becoming available with
excellent sound capability it seems that it's getting knocked for
being too good.
CHRIS: The Atari's niche is music, so its not surprising Atari included a
DSP. But I'm not a musician, so why should I pay extra for
something I don't need? Maybe you do need such a device.
MICHAEL: Hold on Chris, you're getting the DSP and DMA parts mixed up again!
CHRIS: Hey, I do know what a DSP is, simply a microprocessor geared
towards processing sound.....
MARK: Sorry, you don't know what a DSP is! It is a microprocessor geared
towards processing digital signals.....
GENIE: Hence the name Digital Signal Processor, I guess. This guy's so
lame I just wanna cry..... Oh and we've got MARK BAINES and KEITH
JACKSON online now. <Sob>
MARK: ... What form those signals take is up to you and your ADC -
video, sound, modem/telephone tones...
CHRIS: I mentioned it because it USUALLY goes hand in hand with 16bit DMA
hardware...
MICHAEL: Well, they -can- go hand in hand if programmers want them to, but
they don't have to!
MIKE M: The DSP can be used to EFFECT sound, for example Surround Sound
techniques, Noise Reduction, .... But its a proccessor so can do
really anything you want, graphics manipulation, maths
calculations, 3D effects..
CHRIS: Err.. At least I can walk in a shop and BUY an A1200...
GENIE: <Snicker> Is a PC not quite bad enough?
STEVE: Nobody said that Atari's marketing philosophy is good! There will
surely be some people who will go and buy an A1200 today
because they think its the cat pyjamas in home computing, but many
of the more mature users will hold on to see what else is coming.
The 32-bit home computer market is still in its infancy.
CHRIS: So whats Atari going to do now? They had their chance and ruined
it by hype and delays, the Falcon won't stand a chance, whatever
the virtues of its sound hardware.
GENIE: Typical Amiga lamer- always obsessed with sound!
MIKE M: Who cares what Atari do I just wish you would F*** off !
KEITH: I'll second that Mike !! What is this guys problem ? You'd think
from his attitude that an ST killed all his relatives, slept with
his girlfriend and then threw up on him in the pub ! I'm the
Business Centre Manager at Dixons in Mansfield and the level
of interest in the A1200 (in that store at least) has been zero. I
get around eight enquiries a day about the Falcon ! The
general consensus from fed up Amoeba owners wanting to upgrade is
that they are fed up with CBM bringing out new machines and just
dropping support for the old ones. If I have a problem with a
customer who has an old ST (TOS on disk etc) then at least Atari Uk
will talk to me - I wish the same could be said of CBM when
confronted with an A500 problem ....
MIKE M: You ever tried using Workbench/dos- aaarrrrggggh!!!
MICHAEL: I have tried using version 1 of Amiga Workbench, and I wasn't to
impressed to be honest. I haven't seen version 2 so I can't say
that much about it.
CHRIS: Actually its very nice, easy to use, fast, and good looking. But
don't knock Workbench 1.x, as an environment it was far more usable
than GEM, you could do more with it, more configurable. Even V1.0
had features GEM lacked until VERY recently. Only in high-res mono
was GEM palettable.
GENIE: Hi-res 'palettable'? More 'useable'? Chris, do you know what
the fuck you are talking about?
CHRIS: Now, disk based OS's, I'm all for them! They make upgrading so much
quicker and cheaper, but the implementation could make adifference.
As an example my Amiga A1000..... [Drowned in general groans from
other users...]
GENIE: I hear NICK BIRD is online now. <Sob>
MICHAEL: Incidentelly, what are you doing on this echo? There is an echo for
Amiga users you know...
CHRIS: Heheehhehehe I like it! Seriously big chip on your shoulder or
what!
STEVE: Isn't that an instance of the pot calling the kettle black?
CHRIS: Not really. Anyway, I just write this drivel to stir people up.
Nothing wrong with a good healthy debate..
MIKE M: Not really you -Just- slag owt thats Atari face it!!!!!
CHRIS: Come on, don't be so serious! I was just trying to wind up a few
Atari users who seem so full of themselves.
MICHAEL: What? You freely admit to writing messages just to wind ST users
up??!?! Sorry Chris, but I don't think anyone's taking you
seriously now!
NICK: Sorry Michael ! No-one -ever- took him seriously !!
MICHAEL: Just winding him up...
GENIE: <Sniff> Chris, what's that on your tagline?
[Looks at tagline which says:
'* SLMR 2.1a * Dead people are cool.']
GENIE: .... Hmmmmmm......
[Fade lights.]
THE END.
<Genie!> 11/1/93.
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NOTE- This applies more to the UK phone system, to be honest!
_____________________________________
| /------\ +-----------------------+|
| | | | Hacking Fone Machines ||
| | | | by 6025 ||
| \ / +-----------------------+|
| \ / |
| | | #~~ ~~~~ ~~~ ~ ~~~ ~~ |
| | | ~ ~~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~ ~ |
| | | @~~ +-------------+ |
| | | |[1] [2] [3]| |
| | | @~~ | | |
| | | |[4] [5] [6]| |
| / \ #~~ | | |
| / \ |[7] [8] [9]| |
| | | @~~ | | |
| | | |[*] [0] [#]| |
| \------/ #~~ +-------------+ |
|___________________________________|
What it is
----------
Hacking fone machines? Well, OK so you can't take over the world with an
answering machine, but you can have a lot of fun. Most modern machines can be
controlled remotely via Touch Tones (TT), and they're also hackable in about 10
seconds, even if the code is unknown. In this file I'll give details of
systems I know about, systems I've hacked and suggestions for general hacking.
This shades a bit into mailbox hacking, but there are other files about that
you should read. If you've not already got a TT dialler then this is the time
to get one - and you might like to think about some kind of pick-up mike for
taping your calls. Having a tape of the system you're trying to crack makes it
a lot easier, I've found.
Where it's at
-------------
So how should you go about hacking a machine? The first thing to do is tofind
one. If you want one as a mailbox, scan 0800 numbers. They're free and you
can call them from anywhere in the UK. If you want revenge or information then
you should already have a machine in your sights. Once you have a machine, try
and find out the type. If you can, use your social engineering skills during
the day when the machine isn't on. Depending how informed they are, you could
get away with anything from a BT sponsored survey of answerphone types to "an
XTE line voltage drop on your frame when we process CMDs". Obviously, the
knowledge of the person you're speaking to determines how thick you can lay it
on. If they work in McDonalds or someplace, you could probably get the access
code out of them there and then (usually on the base or back of the unit).
Once you find out the type (or even better, the code!), your problem is solved.
Phone around some stores that stock answering machines (like Boots) and find
someone who stocks it. Say you bought one of these models a few months ago but
you've lost the manual (and the receipt, obviously). Most people will be only
to happy to give you an xerox of the manual, if not an original.
Simple interface
----------------
But, say you can't get a machine type - no problem. Like I said earlier, most
machines are pretty simple to hack. The key to this is the fact that they have
been designed to be operated easily - sometimes even with sampled voice
prompts. The designers know that the machine will usually be operated without
a manual and so people need a simple interface. Therefore, most access codes
are normally 1 or 2 digits. Quite a few are factory set and can't be altered
which is even better as once you have a machine they can't shut you out. Let's
try an example: say you find a machine and you have no ideas about it at all.
This is what you could do...
1) Some basic info. Call it and see if the tone it gives you sounds familiar.
Some are just beeps, but others have some kind of tune that is dead easy to
recognise. After the tone, stay silent and see if it hangs up on you.
Listen for a sampled message thanking you for calling or something - this
is another machine specific. If you got such a message, it's a good sign
it might have voice prompts for remote operation.
2) OK, you still don't know what it is. Next step is to try a 1 digit access
code. This will have to be sent for around 2 seconds to be really sure. Try
all 12 digits (0-9, "*", "#") during the OGM, *and* after the final tone.
This might take 2 calls if you didn't have time to test them all during the
OGM. If something happens, you've achieved either one of two things.
3) Maybe you got a function - if it was a "*" or a "#" that did it, this is
probably the case. Quite a few machines skip the OGM if you send a "#".
4) Or it could be the access code. Skip this section if you think it's a 1
digit code. Otherwise, it's not worth your while trying above 2 digits.
It takes too long (unless you get your computer to do it) and the chances
are you hit a machine without remote access - just skip the machine unless
you absolutely must have it. Keep sending tones (waiting for them to be
acknowledged) until it disconnects to find out how long the code is. Often
a 2 digit machine will take the tones faster than 2 seconds, and one of the
digits could well be factory set - like the Panasonic KXT models. The
first digit will stop the OGM (if it's running), and provoke a beep. If
it's voice prompted then waiting 10 seconds may start a message asking you
to send the next digit. Each digit input is normally acknowledged with a
beep.
5) But, your problems are over if you got the access code straight off. If
it's voice prompted then you will get a menu. If it isn't, what you do is
access it, then send a "1" and note down the number of beeps (if any) the
machine replies with. Hang up, access it and try a "2", and so on. Listen
out for the noise of tapes rewinding and any background clicks - things are
a lot easier if you tape your calls and analyse them off line. At this
stage you should have enough information to identify the machine, or to
access its functions. You may find that (especially on non-voice prompted
systems) the only digit that gets a response is the code digit. Access of
different functions may depend on the length of time you press it for (2
secs, 4 secs, 8 secs) as well as significant pauses. Basically, what you
are doing is prodding it until you get a response. Don't be afraid if you
seem to screw it up - 9 times out of 10 the machine will be blamed, not
you.
Now what?
---------
Once you're in, there's several things you can do. Messages can be listened
to, saved or wiped. The machine can be turned off or on. The OGM (Out Going
Message. ICM = incoming message(s)) can be changed or maybe the access code
altered. Changing the OGM is the usual trick, announcing your own free mailbox
to the general public. But remember, 0800 nos cover the whole of the UK, so
there are a lot of people using them. One weekend I was on, "Living Design"
received 23 calls in around an hour - that's the sort of exposure your rantings
will receive. Heh, heh, heh.
The Fone Phreak's revenge!!!
----------------------------
Find A. Loser. Hack their machine. Once you're in then, apart from the
obvious potential for blackmail (bit sordid that), there are lots of ways you
can have phun with their machine.
1) Download the OGM and reload it onto the machine but with a couple of
minutes of silence on the end. People will drop their messages into limbo
after they hear you go 'beeeep' - not knowing that the real tone is 3
minutes away.
2) Incorporate any embarrassing messages into the OGM. Go on. You know you
want to.
3) Pretend to be a real person (bit immature this, but what the heck) and say
"Hello, how can I help you?", "uhu", "fine", "Hang on a sec" a lot.
4) Load 20 minutes of music up onto it. If their machine doesn't play back the
OGM on message playback (fairly common) they might wonder why nobody seems
to leave messages anymore. Obviously, this will be thwarted by an OGM tape
that's only 15 seconds long, but you never know.
5) Upload some huge advice service message onto it. You could upload pretty
much anything actually, but I find that 'official' sounding stuff tends to
freak people out the most.
6) If the person on the OGM sounds a bit of a dork, tell them! You have the
power, remember! Download the OGM and upload it again, with your witty and
penetrating comments fed in from an extension.
But what about *me*?
--------------------
But what if you want to buy an answering machine? Is *anything* safe? For a
start - get one with a 4 or 5 digit code. If possible, get a code that can be
changed. Turn off the voice prompts if you can. Don't get one that lets
callers use it to listen to conversation in the room. If privacy is a problem
in your home/office, get one that lets you playback messages into the handset,
not via a speaker. All these things are possible, but most manufacturers would
prefer to save money rather than create secure technology. If nobody complains,
it won't get fixed. So you see, as well as pissing people off you're actually
performing a valuable social function. Aren't you glad?
Sample resources
----------------
Machines I *know* have remote operations are listed also, but with no entry
(yet).
Boots TAM 150
Has a 1 digit factory set code located at the back of the unit by the phone
line. Remote operations are message playback, turn on and change OGM. To turn
on remotely, call and it will play 2 beeps after 12/14 rings. Send the code
and the OGM will play. Hang up to turn on.
To playback messages, call and send code for 2 secs after the OGM, music and
tone. A reply of 2 tones means the messages will now be played back. 4 tones
either means the tape is full or there are no messages. If so, press the code
for another 2 seconds and if the tape was full it will now be played back.
After all the messages have been heard, 2 more tones will sound. If you want
to keep the messages, send the code for 2 seconds. 4 tones will confirm the
messages are safe. Sending the code again after the 4 tones will replay the
messages. The messages will be lost after hanging up.
To change the OGM, call and send code for 2 secs after the OGM, music and tone.
If the machine responds with 2 tones it will play back messages, 4 tones
indicates no messages (skip to next paragraph). If messages are being played
back, 2 tones will sound after the last message - wait 8 seconds for a further
2 tones.
Now send the code for 4 seconds. 2 tones will be heard as confirmation and the
tape will rewind to the start of the OGM. Wait for a single tone then dictate
the new OGM. Send the code for 2 seconds to finish the message. Stay silent
while it rewinds and plays back your new OGM. Hang up.
Panasonic KXT-2385d [details from TAP #100]
1 digit code. Offers 2 remote operations - remote playback and remote turn on.
To turn the machine on, call and the machine will play the OGM after the 15th
ring. Hang-up after the OGM and call back.
To playback messages, call and enter the code during the OGM. The machine will
playback the messages. Press the code to rewind the tape and replay them. The
machine beeps 3 times after all the messages have been played. Press the code
again to delete messages.
Panasonic KXT 1447/1446
Has a 2 digit code located on the base of unit. The first digit is factory set
and the second can be set to 0-9 by turning a thumbwheel on the machine base.
Pressing "*" during the OGM will skip directly to recording an ICM. To switch
the machine on remotely, call and let it ring 20 times. To switch it off call
it, send the OGM and press "0".
To playback messages, call it and send the code during the OGM. A beep will
sound, followed by other beeps to tell you the number of messages received, up
to 8. The unit will beep once between messages, and 3 times after the last
message. Every 2 minutes and 40 seconds the unit will stop and send 2 beeps.
You must press "8" (continue) to go on. For memory playback, press "4" after
sending the code (or during normal playback) - 1 beep will sound then it
starts. In both normal & memory playback, "1" rewinds the tape and "2" fast
forwards it by about 15 seconds each way.
Send "3" to reset the machine. The tape will rewind and one beep will sound.
If you used memory playback, send "3" again to totally rewind the tape. If you
change your mind, send "2" to undo the reset then hang up.
To change the OGM, send "7". The tape rewinds with short beeps, then a long
beep sounds. Speak the new OGM and send "9" to stop recording - the OGM is
then played back. Send "7" to re-record. If you pause longer than 2 seconds,
6 beeps sound and the recording stops automatically.
Incomplete - need more details
------------------------------
Binatone Telecorder 300R
AudioLine 901
AudioLine 895
5 digit code, can be changed
BT KingFisher II
remote switch on/off, playback, message save, OGM change, 2 digit code
BT Falcon II
voice menu, messages time/day stamped, remote switch on/off,
code can not be number 7
BT Response 200
remote switch on/off, play, record and change of OGM, message save, reset
BT Response 400
remote switch on/off, play, record and change of OGM, message save, reset
BT Rapport 20 Plus, Rapport Plus
remote switch on, playback and control.messages saved automatically after
remote access.
BT Wren
remote playback, accessed with TT or speech code
Social Conscience
-----------------
DISCLAIMER : This disclaimer disclaims that anything contained in this file is
for educational purposes only. Anyone who even thinks about trying anything
out that's mentioned in this file is a reprehensible anti-social deviant who
deserves everything that's coming to them. When someone picks up their phone
mid-hack and you wet your pants, don't say I didn't warn you. That aside,
anyone can add details of their answerphone to this file, and anyone can copy
it to any platform via any media they feel like.
== /---\ /---\ =============================================================
== I I ---< =============================================================
== \___/ \___/ =============================================================
****************************************************************************
* This file originally appeared in PURE BOLLOCKS #21, by permission of the *
* authors. This may be spread, but not published for profit. *
****************************************************************************
NOTE - Apart from the members of Network Trash, all the other names (including
"real" names) are so-called "made-uppies" ie fictional stuff. Also,
though some of the events may be inspired by real-life incidents,
they're still fictional made-uppy events here, so there.
== Complete Trash from Network Trash ==
== Chapter 2 ==
RECAP: Nun-Fucker, by a strange quirk of fate, that can only happen in crap
stories such as this, found and set off what appears to be Space/Time
travel machine. At the present time we (ie all the users) are
gliding over a "picturesque landscape"............
"This is shit boring" commented Satan.
"You're damn right there!" agreed Nun-Fucker,"Let's do something
exciting."
"Like what?"asked Revlis.
"How about drawing naked women on SuperPaint!"
Everyone rushed off to jerk off to lots of cruddy pictures of fleshy
ladies in leather, everyone that is except Torg.
In a seedy dark corner of the room Torg was alone with his thoughts. What
the hell is it? he asked himself. Let me see...it's big and it's red. Fucked
if I know. He decided to join the group who were now in various states of
stickyness.
After a few more pictureque landscapes had passed by and everyone had had
there fair share of sticky moments Satan decided to have a rest. He sat in a
seedy dark corner (yup the very same) and day dreamed of 2D pixel perfect
leather clad fleshy women. That was until he spied something big and red.
He shouted "I wonder what this button does <press >"........
The rest as they say is up to you!
Warlock
27/11/91
===========================================================
== Chapter 3 ==
Enter Zog the Destroyer, slimy, foul-smelling and with a large rubber dildo
strapped to his head.
"You cunt ", he said sweetly, "I was in the middle of a hectic mating
session, and by the simple act of pressing that <Call Zog away from a hectic
mating session> button, you've ruined my chances of a really good fuck."
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't take a dump in your disk box !"
Satan decided to save it the trouble and crapped in the disk box himself, after
cunningly swapping it with NunFucker's.
NunFucker began to cry.
Sensing the mounting tension, StringFellow leapt forward to save the day,
shouting "But surely you can save space by using packed arrays for strings !!!"
"And Persil washes whiter !", added Revlis enthusiastically. Nobody had ever
accused either Revlis or StringFellow of giving particularly relevant
information in times of crisis.
"Get on with the fuckin' story, tosspot", cried the rest of the cast in
unison.
Suddenly Zog seemed to notice the slightly unusual fact that he was in a
Space/Time travel machine.
"Hey, I always wanted a shot in one of these."
He strode purposefully to a keyboard and started to press keys in a
seemingly random manner.
"You fool, you'll kill us all !",cried Satan, and then the picturesque
landscape ceased to roll by.
They had landed.
"Where the fuck are we ?",asked StringFellow.
"This, ",said Zog grandly, "is two doors down from where Roy Willow's mum
lived, five years before he was born."
"I brought us here so we could kill his mum and make life in the future
less shite for CS2A students everywhere."
"Wow !!!!!!!!!!!", exclaimed Satan, "You mean a bit like Terminator only with
better dialogue and much better standard of script and casting all round ?"
"I think I've wet myself.", announced Nun-Fucker sadly.
27/11/92
- This instalment brought to you courtesy of ZOG THE DESTROYER -
(Who as yet doesn't have a fancy header)
===========================================================
== Chapter 4 ==
"But...but we can't do that", whined Warlock ."That would open up the famous
''What if I went back in time and killed my father ,would I still be around''
paradox".
Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Warlock (except for
Zod who hadn't realised the significance of what had just been said) 'By the
way it's Zog not Zod" exclaimed ZOG in a condescending manner.
"You don't mean to say" exclaimed Torg "that Roy Willow is your father
!!!".
Pioufgh started to think "Ho..ho....ho...ho.That would make your full name
'Warlock Welland' ".
Satan rudly interupted Pioufgh's thought patterns with a loud throat
clearing effort.
"Hhhhrrruuuummmmfffffff..........Actually he fathered me too.....and
what's more I'm proud of it"
Genie started to laugh then punched Satan in the face.Satan began to
mutter a serious of words:
"........Roy Willow.......yes,yes....Roy Willow ...no,no,yes,yes.AAAHH"
As soon as he had finished, Genie's ears began to glow bright green and
puffs of a foul smelling blue gas ejected themselves fro his ears.
" Get on with the flipping story" the audience cried out, "or you'll
never get anywhere"
Genie said "Who said that ..........and while we're on the subject, what's
that revolting smell"
Satan began to laugh and Genie punched him in the face.Satan began to
mutter a serious of words:
"........Roy Willow.......yes,yes....Roy Willow ...no,no,yes,yes.AAAHH"
As soon as he had finished, Genie's ears began to glow bright green and
puffs of a foul smelling blue gas ejected themselves fro his ears.
"QUICK" shouted Torg. "We're getting caught in a temporal distortion of
time. Everyone back into the Boyd-Orr"
"We never left the fucking Boyd Fucking Orr in the fist place!!"warlock
screamed while simultaneously kicking Revlis in the softies.
REVLIS
27/11/93
** STAY TUNED NEXT WEEK FOR ANOTHER INSTALLMENT IN THE SAGA! **
== I---- I\ I I---\ ======================================================
== I--- I \ I I I ======================================================
== I____ I \I I___/ ======================================================
If you have an ST system, we recommend you try the original ST binary version
of Pure Bollocks! You can obtain it from the following FTP sites:
atari.archive.umich.edu in the directory "atari/Magazines/Pb"
ftp.uni-kl.de in the directory "pub/atari/magazines"
You can also receive a copy by sending an International Reply Coupon plus the
relevant amount of disks (1 disk for PB #21, 2 each for PB #22 and PB #23) to
PB Magazine,
PO box 1083,
Glasgow G14 9DG,
Scotland,
UK.
We have compiled ASCII only versions of these, and archived them using ZIP
v2.0. Each of these fit onto a single PC format disk. Please state if you want
this version.
Write to this address for contributions, etc. You can also email us at:
an18359@anon.penet.fi
Please note this is not a publication by the admin of anon.penet.fi!
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